Our Strange Masquerade Skit
Disclaimer: I do not own digimon nor our Lord and Master Foamy or like anything but Tanya.
Summary: Kouichi, Kouji, Takuya and Izumi have to put on a strange little skit. With an insane fangirl, Izumi ranting about a cartoon squirrel, Kouji trying to make money of his guitar skills, Takuya being annoying and a water war. Its pure chaos!
Author's Note: I suppose, because of the title, it's obvious how strange this fic will be. It's a result of a strange dream whereas it involved an AnimeCon, the Frontier kids cosplaying as themselves and a skit they had to perform at the con. That's why it might seem a little strange at times, and it's purely random so please enjoy. If you don't like, then don't flame me, this is just created on a whim and coke and a really strange dream.
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"Hello everyone!" A young blonde teen announced happily. Her blonde hair flowed out of her lavender hat. She wore a simple lavender skirt and a light purple belly shirt. Over that was a simple lilac colored vest with a hood. She looked out at the 'audience' in front of her, also known as you readers. In her right hand was a black rectangular device. "Welcome to our strange little skit! During this skit, you'll see well… Pretty much chaos and small hints of shounen ai, if you aren't sure what that term means it refers to male x male couplings, homosexuality, gay-ness (and not the happy kind). You gotta a problem with it, then tough luck, you can leave now or just tough it out k? Now shall we begin?"
"Hai!" The audience shouted as Izumi grinned.
"Then welcome to 'Our Strange Masquerade Skit'!"
With that Izumi stepped aside a raised the strange device pressing a button. The lights went up on the stage a young pale teenaged boy sitting there. His dark hair was pulled back into a low ponytail a blue brown striped bandana resting over it. He wore a simple yellow t-shirt with a blue jacket over it a yellow stripe running down the sleeves. Some dirt covered his gray pants, mostly cause he was sitting on the ground skillfully plucking the strings of a blue acoustics guitar a case lying nearby the boy softly yet strongly singing "Hitomi no naka no, hitotsu no regret, Tsuki akari abite hohoende iru, Kokoro no naka no, kesenai regret, Kuya-"
"What'cha doing Kouji?" A cheerful voice cut the boy off. The dark haired boy, Kouji, looked up ceasing his music. Next to him stood a tan brunette, his hair was covered by a backwards cap spiking at the bottom goggles resting on the hat. He was a yellow shit with a spiky 'C' design a red shirt hanging open over it. He ware brown cargo shorts as he plopped down to sit next to the Kouji looking up at his sapphire eyes with his own lively brown ones.
"I'm practicing," Kouji stated simply before blinking as he looked in the guitar case. "And… Apparently I made twenty bucks and… A handful of nuts… Izumi!"
"The Lord and Master Foamy told me to do it!" Izumi shouted still standing off to the side of the stage forcing the boys to sweat-dropped.
"Izumi… Foamy is a cartoon squirrel he is not 'The Lord and Master'. You have got to stop watching those Foamy cartoons!" Takuya, the brunette, replied forcing Izumi to gasp and point.
"Blasphemy! You speak blasphemy!" The blonde screamed. "Now Foamy will strike you down with his nuts of DOOM!"
"This happens each time a new Foamy cartoon comes out," Kouji said with a sigh before the two yelped. Acorns and nuts flew from off stage pegging the boys. Takuya yelped hiding behind Kouji while the other picked up his guitar case closing it before using it as a shield. Izumi continued to scream blasphemy before she raised the black device and clicked it. Immediately Takuya and Kouji froze in their positions as Izumi stepped center stage clearing her throat.
"Throughout this skit I will be using this device to pause and explain certain things." She stated gesturing to the device in her hand. She grinned before moving pulling out a pointer from behind her back. Again she cleared her throat walking over and pointed the pointer at the two boys. "This is Takuya Kanbara and Kouji Minamoto. Takuya is our resident Goggle-Head and the Legendary Warrior of Flame. Kouji is the Loner and the Legendary Warrior of Light. These two are the strongest out of out little group, they got to do all the cool evolutions while me and the others had to stand on the side lines. I mean c'mon! It was annoying enough being the only female but then I had to stand on the side like a useless idiot! Unfairness! Ahem, but besides that, these two are also what I've entitled 'The Couple' for you see… There both gay and a couple. Yes I already warned you about this! Don't you go making that face! There is nothing wrong with two boys falling in love. Now, I just thought I'd point this all out to you… Oh yea… Foamy is a cartoon squirrel and really if you speak 'blasphemy' nuts and acorns won't really be thrown at you."
With that done she tossed the pointed off stage, bounced back to her original position. She pushed some hair out of her face resuming her position and unpausing the scene before her. A few more nuts and acorns were thrown before the attack ceased. Kouji sighed setting his case down brushing the thrown items off it. Takuya moved out from using Kouji as a human shield. The two sighed shaking there heads as Takuya spoke up. "We should really learn to stop bad mouthing Foamy around Izumi."
"That we should, that we should." Kouji stated before he sighed retuning to strumming the guitar. "Itsuka dokoka de mit-"
"What'cha singing?" Takuya asked stopping the Loner who sighed giving up.
"I was singing 'In The Blue' which is my image song," Kouji stated as Takuya looked at him.
"Cool! I wanna play my image song! Let me use your guitar!"
"No," Kouji said bluntly fishing the money out of the case and putting it in his pocket before he tossed the acorns and nuts setting his guitar back in it.
"Why not?" Takuya asked poking Kouji's arm.
"Because one you can't play guitar and two you can't sing."
"That's mean!" Takuya looked at Kouji teary eyes. Immediately Kouji regretted saying those comments.
"Takuya, I mean. This is a new guitar and…"
"I'm not talking to you," Takuya said with a huff crossing his arms and turning his back to Kouji.
"You know you don't mean that," Kouji said with a sigh. However upon not receiving an answer he frowned. "Takuya, c'mon… I'm sorry; I didn't mean to insult you. C'mon talk to me."
Takuya stood still ignoring him walking off. Kouji blinked before closing his guitar case standing up quickly running after him. "Takuya! C'mon I'm sorry!"
The stage stood still and silent for a moment before bouncing into the center looking out at the audience. "Yea, they have arguments like that quite a bit. But next time you see 'em I'll sure they'll be made up… Er but our sub- I mean actors are now gone and there's no way I can entertain you all by myself, er…"
"IZUMI!" Izumi blinked as a boy identical to Kouji ran onstage in fear skidding to a stop and moving using the girl as a shield. Unlike Kouji his hair reached to his chin and he wore a maroon long sleeved shirt under a green short sleeved over shirt and white pants.
"Kouichi? Eh what's wrong?" Izumi asked looking at him as the boy trembled.
"Tanya! She saw me! Save me!" He shrieked as Izumi nearly anime fell. In a second a young adult girl appeared wearing simple jeans and a gray top that said 'I hear Yoai' and a patch sewn onto it which read 'Takouji 4ever'. Her blonde hair was put up and she had an insane glint to her eyes.
"There you are Ichi-kun! I've been looking all over for you!' The blonde, Tanya, said in a happy voice. Izumi sighed a bit.
"Tanya why are you pestering Kouichi?"
"I am not pestering anyone!" Tanya huffed glaring a bit. "All I wanted him to do was take pictures of Kouji and Takuy-"
"Don't you dare finish that sentence!" Izumi said wide eyes. "There are children in the audience!"
"I wasn't going to say that!"
"Suuurrre." Izumi muttered beneath her breath raising the device once again pausing the scene. She softly and gently freed herself from Kouichi's grip walking off stage before returning with the pointer. She cleared her throat before pointing it at Kouichi. "This is Kouichi Kimura, he's Kouji's twin brother. They were separated at birth though but met in the Digital World. Kouichi's the Warrior of Darkness and thanks to him we were able to defeat Lucemon. And well this is Tanya, the freakiest fangirl you will ever meet. Seriously, she's insane!"
After finishing this she tossed the pointer off stage once again. She then moved returning to the position she had been previously. She raised the remote unpausing the scene once again. Kouichi was clinging to her totally terrified of Tanya while the insane fangirl tried to get passed Izumi. Izumi just sighed thinking for a moment before pointing off stage. "Hey! Takuya and Kouji are making out!"
"Where?" Tanya said running off. Izumi laughed a bit before gently pulling Kouichi's fingers off her patting the elder twins head.
"Alright you're safe now."
"Takuya and Kouji are going to kill you…"
"No they ain't." Izumi said laughing. "I sent her off in the opposite direction they went."
"I see," Kouichi smiled a bit sitting down Izumi plopping down next to her. He then blinked looking around a little bit. "Hey, what's with all these acorns and nuts doing around?"
"Our Lord and Master Foamy attacked Takuya and Kouji for they spoke blasphemy!" Izumi said cheerfully. Kouichi looked at him sighing a little.
"Izumi, okay look at me," he said putting his hands on her shoulder meeting her eyes. "Foamy is a cartoon squirrel, he is not the 'Lord and Master' of anything. He is just a cartoon squirrel with a cursing problem."
"You speak blasphemy!" Izumi shouted gasping. "And when one speaks blasphemy Our Lord and Master Foamy attacks the blasphemers with the acorns and the nuts! No! They can't attack Kouichi!" And with this shout, Izumi moved hugging Kouichi tightly. The boy flailed his arms in the air being suffocated as Izumi continued to hug him shouting 'no' over and over again. It was this scene Takuya and Kouji returned to. Takuya blinked holding a chocolate ice cream cone in one hand the chocolate smeared over his face. Kouji looked up from his vanilla cone raising an eyebrow.
"Er Izumi?" Takuya said as the girl ceased her no chant looking up.
"Yes?"
"You're er kinda suffocation Kouichi with you're um…" Takuya stopped yanking Kouji aside whispering. "Am I allowed to say that word?"
"I donno there are little kids in the audience…" Kouji muttered in return. "I wouldn't say it."
"Righto!" Takuya said as the two came back to a blinking Izumi and a limp Kouichi. "Izumi your suffocating Kouichi with your chest!"
"What? No! Kouichi!" Izumi released him Kouichi falling over limply with little 'x's for eyes. Izumi gasped shaking him. "No! Kouichi wake up! I killed Kouichi!"
"Kouji she's snapped…" Takuya said as Kouji sighed nodding.
"Yea, c'mon let's go."0
"What about Kouichi? Aren't you worried?"
"Nah, he's fine," Kouji said laughing a bit. "I think he's just a bit stun."
"Okay… Hey! I got an idea c'mon!" Takuya said grinning grabbing Kouji's hand running offstage. Izumi still knelt where she was crying shouting 'I killed Kouichi'. That went on for a few more minutes before she sighed standing and walking offstage. She then returned with the pointer. She knelt back down next to Kouichi poking him with the stick. Kouichi flinched slightly but remained 'dead'. It forced Izumi to pout as she thought for a moment before snapping her fingers. "Kouichi! Tanya's here!"
"NO!" The boy sat bolt upright terror in his eyes. Izumi laughed a little before moving hugging him.
"I was just kidding, sorry I didn't know how else to wake you up." She smiled though a bit sheepish. "Sorry about suffocating you."
"Oh that's alright." Kouichi said before looking around. "I thought I heard Takuya and Kouji… Where are they?"
"Huh oh I donno," Izumi said blinking a bit. She then looked around truly wondering where they had gone off too. As Kouji and Takuya snuck just barley on stage holding water gun, Takuya grinned whispering something as Kouji nodded. The two snuck up slowly raising the guns. Izumi hummed her and Kouichi just admiring an imaginary sky. However that ended as Kouji and Takuya opened fire.
"Cold!" Izumi shouted as she and Kouichi stumbled to their feet shielding their faces. Takuya laughed with Kouji as Izumi shouted bad words in Italian raising the device pausing it. She glared wringing her hair out. "Those jerks, okay they wanna play rough…"
She grinned moving offstage leaving the boys frozen. She returned shortly after carrying to water guns positioning one in Kouichi's hands. She then moved pointing Takuya and Kouji's water guns at each other before pointing her owns. She then unpaused the scene. Kouji and Takuya coughed surprised being sprayed by one another. It forced the two into a bickering match. Kouichi blinked looking at Izumi wondering how he got a super soaker as Izumi just said simply smiling. "Just go with it!"
Kouichi blinked but shrugged as he and Izumi attacked Takuya and Kouji with the water. The battle continued for a long while until they quite. The four laughed lying on the ground. Before Izumi sat up she smiled looking out into the audience as she raised the remote on more time a grin on her face. "Well this is the end ladies and gents; we hope that you enjoyed this strange little skit of ours as strange as it was! Well, see ya around!"
Izumi smiled clicking the remote the screen going black.
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GG: Heh yea… I told you in the beginning that this was a strange little fic. So yea… hehehe…. –rubs head nervously-