Hello there:-D! Here is my very first Bleach fanfic!XDXD Now this one is just a quick one-shot and is not, by any means, a fluff like my first fanfic. This is my first attempt at an angst.

Warnings: this is rated M for language (thank you Grimmjow-_-) and for the hinting to sexual interactions. This is also a Grimmjow/Ulquiorra fic so if you don't like that click the back button. Flamers will be ignored. Also, this is based after the fight between Ichigo and Ulquiorra, so there is character death. *sniffs* why Ulqui *huddles in corner to mourn*

Anyway…Disclaimer: nope, don't own Bleach. If I did Ulquiorra would still be alive.

The story is told from Grimmjow's POV. Ok, I think that's all I have to say…. On with the story!

No Love

Why is it that the things we most desperately need to know are also the things we don't figure out until it is too late?

There is no love in this.

That is what I told myself every time me and him met in the dead of night. Every time we used each other for our own pleasure. It was not love, just some twisted contract to fulfill our most primal needs.

During the day we were the same. Me hating his existence and him trying his best to ignore mine. But at night there would be no ignoring and, though there really was no emotion, I definitely did not hate what we did.

As soon as the fake sun that prick Aizen insisted on having was gone, Ulquiorra was all mine. For me to use as I wanted. And I can assure you, I wasn't gentle.

So no, there wasn't any love. Just mindless fucking. Hollows don't have hearts to begin with. Even if this wasn't the case, emotions are far out of the range of that jade eyed bastard's understanding anyways.

Even when the visits became more frequent and the want for him, and only him, increased, I told myself it was just business. Nothin' more.

And as I started to wake up to find him still there in my bed, sleeping peacefully and with his guard down, I wouldn't kill him. I told myself that it was just 'cause I'd lose the best fuck I ever had. That there was no care. That there was still nothing there. That there never would be. Because, of all the feelings in this screwed up world, love was the one thing we definitely could never feel.

…..Right?….

But if this is true, if what I've told myself every time I had my superior writhing and moaning beneath me is correct, then tell me. Why was it that, as I was lying a broken and bloody mess in the sand and I felt him start to lose the fight with that damn shinigami did I want nothing more than to be able to protect him? Why is it that when his spiritual pressure disappeared I felt a cold despair take hold in my core? Why do I feel as if my long dead heart has shattered to pieces in my chest? And why the fuck am I crying for the loss of the person I claimed I could never love and who could never love me?

And isn't it just fucking fitting that it is now, after my Ulquiorra is dead, that I realize I was lying to myself the whole time. That I was too fucking stupid to see that I had done what those of our kind should never do. I fell in love. And I know that it is useless to wonder if he did the same because he is gone now.

No matter how hard I screamed, pleaded, or prayed to whatever god there is, I can never get him back. He died, taking the rarest of things in our world with him. For that, Ulquiorra, I can never forgive you.

Hope you enjoyed the story XD! Please leave a review!