Spoilers for Episodes 3x01 and 3x02. Don't read this until you've seen the first two episodes of season 3. (BTW, Glee people own all of that, which is what's behind all of this.)

I blame this one on Marte. Her amazing character study after Blaine transferred ("See me Please, please see me Save me") has taken over my head until I couldn't bear it any more without getting Klaine to do something about it and get these boys back to a head-space of Klisses!

OK, I suppose I also have to blame all the writers of Glee, because they started it.

*points finger at like 9 people sitting around a table at Fox Studios discussing ideas for Klaine tribulations

Go read Marte's story. It will make you think. It will probably compel you inescapably to write about it, as it did to me. She was just so right about how someone would feel in that situation, I had to explore it too. Hers is better, and more like real life than mine. http .net/s/7401222/1/See_me_Please_please_see_me_Save_me

My advice on reading the chapter below: just go with the flow of Blaine's thoughts, and read along on his roller coaster. His thoughts have reasons to flow the way they do. Oh and of course everything is a metaphor, as our thoughts tend to be sometimes.

The second chapter is All Fluff. It changes to third person omniscient, and is a fun rollicking series of rehearsals. Lots of Fluff! Not that there isn't enough fluff in the first chapter eventually.

This first chapter is all Blaine's thoughts, plus dialogue he takes part in with others.

Inside Blaine's Head / Fake It Til You Make It.

Read for Tony? Why did they put me in that position and even ASK me that? I only wrote down Bernardo! What's wrong with Bernardo? He owns the stage almost as much as Tony does. Better, even. He dances more. Who else is gonna be able to act like Bernardo?

OK I shouldn't have said that wimpy "...or Officer Krupke..." That was stupid. They'd never believe I would mean that. He doesn't even sing or dance. I should have said Riff. Riff sings way more than Bernardo does anyway.

But Kurt is perfect for Riff. Oh, gosh, Kurt should be Riff! But Kurt has his heart set on Tony.

The one thing that could make me feel normal again at this horrible school, the one thing that could help me stop feeling so lost here, and I can't do it without hurting the one and only person I feel safe with here in the first place.

I CAN'T audition for Tony. WHY did I pick that song? Why didn't I sing "Cool" or "Gee, Officer Krupke" OH MAN, imagine Kurt singing those! He could dance in his all-over-the-stage athletic style, doing flips and spins and climbing the walls and hanging from scaffolding! Riff does more singing and dancing than almost anyone else in the whole musical, and he's the funniest one. He plays masculine and street like nobody else. He's confident, he can be tough and a bad-ass gang leader and also funny and campy all at the same time. Kurt is SO Riff! NYADA would notice him!

That school wouldn't care if he played the lead in a musical. They would only care that he made a huge impact as an amazing character, adding his own incredible spin on it, and THAT would get him noticed above all the other yahoos who only make perfect leads in all their musicals, adding nothing unique.

There's nothing world-changing he can do with Tony. Tony is just Tony. Why is he so set on playing boring Tony? WHY did I sing a Tony song? Did I subconsciously think I'd be the best Tony of everyone auditioning? Crap, crap, crap. NO! I don't care if I have the lead. I'm in my element up there on stage playing a character and singing and dancing my butt off whether it's the lead or not. I'd RATHER sing and dance as Bernardo or Riff. They're much more athletic and out-there than Tony. Tony is all dapper and sweet and friendly and reasoned. I don't fit Tony.

I fit Bernardo, fighting for his people and their right to own the streets just as much as the Jets even though they're immigrants. He's mad. He's tired of being put down. He's tough. He cares about his people. He's ready to fight for them. He's the most bad-ass guy in the whole show. Who else could play him?

Bernardo is what I want. I want Kurt to get the lead like he wants. He REALLY wants the lead. Crap. Why didn't I think fast enough to just tell Artie what I really want? Why did I just walk off the stage saying "I'd prefer Bernardo, but... can you give me some time to think about it?" Why do I always have this compulsion to please everyone all the time? Why can't I think of what I want to say right away instead of the first thing that comes to my head is always what I think will make the other person feel good at the time? Damn it.

I should have said "Bernardo needs someone like me to play him," and I should have thought of Riff! I should have said "Riff and Bernardo need strong singers and dancers and there are only so many people who could pull off those roles. You have some pretty good possibilities who could play Tony but who probably wouldn't be right as Riff or Bernardo." Oh Get Real. There's no way I'd ever say anything like that to someone who's directing the frigging show. Damn it.

Kurt. I should call Kurt. I haven't talked to him since glee practice. Is it too late? 9:15. He's still up. Why hasn't he called me? Why haven't I called him? God, he's the one I want to talk to, about how scared I am being at a new school all of a sudden, about how conflicted I am about this stupid frigging musical. But he's going to be just as conflicted about the musical as I am. He's going to say he wants me to be Tony, and inside he'll be dying because he had his heart set on getting the lead in his last chance in high school to get a lead in a musical.

He really could play Tony. He'd be great. His voice would be probably the best Tony out of everyone auditioning, including me. He has the best range out of all of us and can belt any note Tony hits. Way better than the rest of us could. Kurt knows that. He's going to think they're giving the lead role to the person who looks the part more than he does, and he's going to feel type-cast. He's going to want to fight against type-casting, and I won't stand in the way of that. But if I tell him THAT, he'll think I'm bowing out just for him. He already thinks I transferred just for him.

Did I? Did I? No. I don't think so. I don't know! I keep telling myself it's so that I can stand up for myself in a public school like I wasn't able to do in my Freshman year. But COME ON! Who needs to practice standing up to bullies every single moment of every single day for years? That's not a lesson that needs all that practice. Experience doing it once and you're done.

School should be for learning and getting into college, and it's impossible when you're stressed out and looking over your shoulder worried about your own safety and even WORSE, feeling like everyone is against you and looking down on you all the time. It's psychological warfare and it completely obliterates any real learning you can possibly get out of the day.

It's not "running" if you go find a school where you can actually learn in class rather than get beat up so bad outside the Sadie Hawkins dance that you end up in the F*%#ing hospital.

Calm down. Call Kurt. I don't know. Call Nick. Call David. Call Aunt Stacie. Damn it, all I want to do is talk to Kurt. I want to be in Kurt's arms, talking and laughing. Damn this stupid school and stupid musical. OK, so I can do this for a year. It's better to be with Kurt more and share things with him at school all the time instead of being at different schools where we wouldn't be in direct personal competition with each other but we also would only see each other on some nights and most weekends. I want to be around Kurt all the time. And it's only a year.

It's like doing Junior year abroad as a foreign exchange student. At least I know the language they speak at McKinley, even though the rest of it is a culture shock. But I don't know anyone except for Kurt and his friends who aren't my friends yet.

STUPID FINN! What is wrong with him? He likes me! He's my boyfriend's brother! I was so nervous walking into that choir room, and all he did was accuse me of setting fire to the piano? Seriously? Like he doesn't even know me for shit! Why would he even think that? And then make me feel like shit when I was clearly trying to get into the choir room without showing how nervous I was. Doesn't he know me at all by now? Man! Alright so I guess I waltzed into the room all acting cool and babbling something about "OH, it's gonna be so great, Here I am I'm so awesome, and We're all going to Nationals together" or whatever the freak I said to try to ingratiate myself to all of them stupidly.

WHY is this freaking me out so much? It's just a stupid school! I know all of them in that room, we spent the summer doing things together. They're kind of my friends already, sort of. Not a single one of them made me feel comfortable or welcome when I had to walk into that room, though. Finn with his stupid anger, what the hell? I was walking into the room for the first time, a new school, new everything, you'd think they'd do something to make me feel more comfortable no matter what I was saying on the outside.

When I'm sitting in a room like that I ALWAYS do something to make the new kid feel better, I don't care if they look like they're acting all confident and fine. I know most people don't do that. But f*%# it, they know me already and they're supposed to be kind of my friends sort of. Maybe that's the problem; they figure I'm fine and comfortable because I already know all of them.

But every single class I'm in, I'm all alone. Tina's in one of my classes. That's it. She's sweet and all, but I'm all alone all day long in a school where everyone knows I'm gay and everyone hates people who are gay. That did not go well for me last time.

OK, it's only a year. It's like foreign exchange. I can do it for a year. I can't do this. I want Kurt. Damn it, I want Kurt back! Am I losing him because I transferred? This is stupid. I'm going to call him.

WHY didn't he notice that I had already decided to go to Dalton? I had already started classes there. I was sitting there in my Dalton uniform. Why didn't he ever ask me how I really felt about it? He will. He always does. He was just so happy that I changed my mind and transferred. I told him why I did it, and I didn't give him any reason to think there was anything else, or that I'm having a hard time with it.

But DAMN IT, why doesn't he want to ask me about it? He knows what happened to me at my old school. He knows how scared I was even just to attend one stupid prom at his school. He knows from personal experience what it's like to be scared at school like I was at my old school, and how much it meant to him and helped him to have someone like me to talk to about it! WHY doesn't he want to help me? Or even ask if I want to talk about any of it? He KNOWS that coming to this school would bring up everything for me about my old school.

He's waiting for me to have a break-down about it or cry on his shoulder about it before he even thinks to talk about it? Yeah, maybe the problem is that I keep telling him I'm fine and acting completely fine so he doesn't think I need to talk about anything. But he KNOWS me. He should be able to see whenever I'm covering my fear with all this confidence shit. He's seen through it before. Lots of times. And THIS one is pretty big and important. I got the living daylights beat out of me at my old school. And that was ON TOP OF all the abandonment and ostracizing after I came out there. How can he not even ask once about how I'm doing here at a school that he knows is even worse about bullying?

Alright, he's not superman. He's not a mind reader. But damn it! I just want him to think of me. I want him to ask. I am such a stupid weak dumb idiotic weakling of a weak dumb-ass. Sitting around wishing my boyfriend would magically know exactly what I want him to want to do. But I WANT him to WANT to ask me about me! I do. Damn it. I suck.

And I want to be Bernardo.

God, what if Kurt is Riff? We could have all those awesome athletic dances against each other. He'd be leading all the football guys as the Jets, and maybe I can get some of the Warblers to be the Sharks. Oh my god! That's awesome! That would be so cool! We don't have any drama club at Dalton! I mean, they don't.

I'd be the leader of the Sharks, with the Warblers all dancing like pros behind me, and Kurt would be the leader of the Jets with Coach Beiste and Mr. Schuester getting the football guys to be as cool and tough and kick-ass as they were as zombies in the half-time show last year!

And that knife fight between Riff and Bernardo! Kurt and I would have to practice that over and over, just the two of us, getting our moves down just right and deciding what kind of clothing works best to dance in and jump into each others arms in pretending to fight... Oh jeeze, he has to be Riff.

Mike would kick butt as Bernardo. Oh, damn it. He'd be perfect. They're gonna make me play Tony.

Then Kurt and I would rehearse all the Tony and Riff best-friend scenes...

Kurt's never going to be happy not getting the lead. He's never going to see Riff like I see Riff; the perfect way for Kurt to steal the whole show. He would SO steal the show as Riff. He'd make Riff come to life more than anyone else ever could. How can I convince him to get the attention of NYADA by playing Riff? He's just going to think I want to play Tony.

What is it? 9:40. He's still up, right? Shit shit shit.

"Hey baby."

"Hey Kurt. Hey. Huhm. ...so... how was you daayy?"

"Haha. Yeah. I think we actually talked to each other more when we were going to different schools, huh?"

"Kurt, god, I wish I could go over there right now."

"OK, so why don't we act like we did after I transferred to McKinley and you'd text me all day long?"

"Oh my god, I miss that. I'd get the most random things from you and then later you'd apologize that Puck stole your phone and sent me that text to mess with you, or you were in the middle of typing and Mercedes hit send so she could get your attention back. Those were so awesome. They totally made my day."

"I know. You were so far away, but we talked all the time. I think since I know I'm going to see you in the hall again soon anyway, and I'm going to see you in glee, I don't think about texting you. I'm sitting in class thinking about you, but I figure I'll see you soon enough. But then I never see you in the halls, and glee is so short..."

"Kurt, I should be texting you all day even though you're in the same building. I don't know, I just... Everything is all just new for me I guess."

"I wish I could come over there right now.

"I know."

"Well I should go back to sleep, I have to drive Finn to - "

"Oh my god, I woke you up? I didn't mean to do that, Kurt. You shouldn't have picked up."

"Blaine, I'd never ignore a call from you no matter when it was."

"I'm so in love with you Kurt."

"Oh, jeez. I love it when you say that. You know I feel the same, right? Blaine, meet me before school? I can't wait to see you. I'm getting Finn there early anyway, so we can meet out by the steps? I mean, if it's not hard for you to get there early."

"No, I want to. That'd be great, Kurt. So um, what steps?"

"Oh, god, I keep forgetting you don't know your way around McKinley already! You know, the 'Somewhere Only We Know' steps! Heh."

"Ah. I like those steps."

"I've liked them a lot more ever since then."

"I'm glad I could make a good memory for you there. Back when I couldn't be there with you every day."

"Well now they're also the 'It's Not Unusual' steps as well."

"Let's just call them 'our steps' now, why don't we? Hey, is that piano always out there, or do those jazz ensemble kids wheel it out whenever they want it?"

"I think they just run out there to rescue it whenever it rains. That's why it sounds so bad; it's suffered a lot of weathering."

"Ah. Well, I hope 'our' piano is out there tomorrow morning next to 'our' steps."

"See you then. Good night, Baby."

"Sweet dreams."

"Great. Now that song's in my head. Thanks a lot, Blaine!"

(*Blaine singing into the phone) "Say nighty night and kiss me, Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me, While I'm alone and blue as can be, And dream a little dream of me."

(*Kurt singing into phone) "Sweet dreams 'til sunbeams find you. Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you,"

(*Both singing together) "But in your dreams whatever they be, Dream a little dream of me."

(*Blaine singing into phone) "Dreeeeeeam... a little dream... of me...!"

"Yeah that helped, Blaine. Now it's definitely not gonna be in my head anymore and I'm definitely not going to fall asleep with your voice ringing through my ears."

"You're welcome."

"Love you."

He loves me. He loves me. See? He loves me. I know he loves me, that was never a question. So what the hell am I so worried about? He doesn't have to try to make me cry on his shoulder all the time to prove that he's thinking about my feelings. Man, why would he even want to ask me things on purpose to expose my deepest darkest feelings of inadequacy and fear? That's so stupid. If I'm fine and he loves me, why would he have to be all Barbara Walters and pry into my past fears to try to make me drag up feelings that would not help at all in getting used to a new school? I am SO freaking stupid.

OK, it's like... more than a half hour before school starts! I thought this place would be totally empty.

Why the hell are so many people here?

I should sit at the piano. It's the only seat anyway, and the people sitting up on the stairs are all the smokers and stoners and oh there's Quinn... no, Quinn is not good news right now. She's back to her baby-doll dresses and stuff but she's still talking to those "skanks" people, about who the hell knows what.

The piano isn't the place where I'd feel comfortable for once, though. It would make me stick out even worse than I am already. I'd usually just start playing something, but the only person I know out here is Quinn and she's more lost than I am right now, and anyone else out here will probably try to break my hands by slamming the lid down on my fingers as soon as I start to play. These are not the people who get to school early to get some extra studying in.

What the..."HEY! WATCH IT!" Damn It F*%#ing SH%#! Kurt's arms. Not someone grabbing me from behind. Well, someone grabbing me from behind, but someone I want to grab me from behind. Warm arms, safe arms. Not unknown danger for unknown reasons in a hostile situation. Just Kurt arms. Warm, welcome, loving, happy and bouncing with enthusiasm, awesome, perfect, beautiful Kurt arms. He thinks I'm a freak now for jumping like that and yelling at him...

"Jumpy, are we? Didn't have your coffee yet, Baby?"

"Kurt. I was just... I guess I was lost in thought or something..."

"Well never fear... this thermos is full of Carole's amazing nutmeg coffee! You look like you were heading for the piano? At least that's where you were staring when you were lost in thought..."

"Yeah. That would be nice, actually. You and me. We could go sit at the piano together. I mean... Would it... like... bother?... anyone?... if we played something?"

"Haha... Silly, No, why would it bother anyone? A free concert from an amazing piano player? Oh my gosh, will you play 'Dream a Little Dream' for me? I still can't get it out of my head! I must have dreamt about you singing it all night or something."

"Well isn't that cool..." Damn it I wish I could kiss him right now. Damn it. All I can do is whisper to him and try not to let anyone notice that my whispering might look in any way romantic but I know Kurt's face will react to the romance in my voice anyway no matter how I try to hide it, but maybe no one is looking right at his face anyway... "I'm glad... Maybe I should do that every night..."

OK, this is alright. No one seems to care about the piano playing. This is nice. This is really cool, actually. Kurt knows his school. He's cool about sitting with me at a piano while I play. This is bliss, at least it feels like it except I wish he could lean against me without people being weird about it. I wish I could sing it to him again, but just playing is good enough. Well, my morning voice kind of sucks anyway, and coffee doesn't do it any favors, so no big loss.

"Delicious coffee, by the way. Thanks, Kurt. It's amazing."

"I KNOW! Carole makes the best."

"So... um... did you hear about Artie?"

"What about him?"

"He asked me to read for Tony, but I told him I wanted to audition for Bernardo."

"Oh."

"I really would rather be Bernardo, Kurt. He dances more!"

"Well. You really would be a great Tony. I can see why he asked."

"But Kurt, I'm a Junior, and -"

"Blaine, stop. You know that has nothing to do with it. They won't see it that way."

"Kurt, you should go for Tony. I want to see you audition your butt off for Tony. And... also... I mean, Riff is really awesome, have you thought about Riff as well?"

"Blaine, I have to get the lead if I want to have any chance at getting into NYADA."

"Not necessarily, Kurt. You could -"

"Let's not talk about this. We're not the directors. It's up to them. Whatever."

"Kurt -"

"That's the bell. We don't want to be late."

"OK, we'll text?"

"Yeah. I know. I'll text you every time I think about you today."

"Less than three?"

"Don't be silly, Blaine! ...maybe some x's and o's."

"Hahaha. OK, see you in glee."

"Yeah."

He'd better not stay mad. Why didn't I say I love you? Oh man, don't be such a doofus. You don't have to say it every two minutes. We're not insecure idiots. We're perfect together. He's pissed about Tony. He's not going to want to play anyone else. This is going to suck.

Oh, man. Calculus. All seniors. I hate this class. At least, I know this class hates me. Whatever, probably not. I'm an idiot. They're probably all totally fine with me. They probably all like me. They probably all just hate being in calculus. They probably all have to do it in order to get into a good college and their parents and Miss Pillsbury are telling them they have to take it. They're not thinking about me. They're thinking about how much they don't care what x equals.

X. I should text Kurt. Those are the kind of x's I can write all day.

"Kurt, I'm telling you, stop worrying about what Artie said at lunch. There's no way he already knows who they're casting for all the parts. Not everyone has even auditioned yet!"

"What do you have to worry about? You're so obviously going to be Tony."

"I want to see you going for Tony. I want to see you doing all those things you were planning to do to show them you can BE that part."

"Hmph. It's yours and you know it."

"I really want to be Bernardo! Seriously. And Kurt, if you're not Tony, I wouldn't mind you being Riff and getting to rehearse all our dances together, and honestly Kurt you would absolutely kill as Riff, you know that?"

"Blaine, you do not really want to be Bernardo instead of Tony. You're just saying that for me. You're always so self-sacrificing and overly thoughtful! It's too much, Blaine, because it starts to get... annoying! Let me compete against you and one of us will win fair and square!"

"I'm not competing against you, Kurt."

"It doesn't matter. They're picking you anyway, even if you insist to them that you won't do it. They'll cast everyone else and tell you that you're their only hope for Tony and otherwise there's no part for you."

"So... In this scenario, Kurt, what did they cast you as?"

"I don't know, maybe Riff... Shut up! OK, its a good part, but I bet they'll cast me as one of the back-up dancer girl parts or maybe nothing."

"Well I don't think they'll do either of those. But maybe you should consider really going for Riff and showing them what you could do with that part."

"Blaine! Stop. I don't want second place."

"He's the leader of the Jets!"

"Can we PLEASE talk about something else?"

"OK."

"Fine."

"Um, I kind of like my English class... That's something anyway... Except wait until you hear what they're making us read!"

"What, Romeo and Juliet?"

"Kurt, what is your problem?"

"I don't have a problem."

"Kurt, I was only trying to help. Why am I always the one you're mad at when you're the one flipping out over nothing?"

"NOTHING?"

"Kurt, don't go. Stop Kurt, wait!"

"There's nothing you can say to me."

"No? Really? I can say that I'm scared out of my mind every minute of the day when I'm in the unfamiliar halls of McKinley and I don't know a single person out there and my only real friend is you but you're not in any of my classes and it's not possible to see you in the halls between classes and the only time I ever get to see the one person who I feel safe with at this school is in glee club and whenever we're there all we talk about is this stupid musical that I wish didn't even exist at this point because EVEN the opportunity to do the ONE THING I really love and the ONE THING that ever makes me feel alive and could possibly make me feel like myself again in the middle of this hostile school where every glance I get in the halls feels like either hate or fear or simple distrust and hesitance, even though being up on that stage would make everything feel better, it's NOT WORTH IT if it tears the only person I truly care about in the first place and the only person I would give up anything for, away from me. It's not worth it, Kurt. And I wish it wasn't worth it for you." Oh CRAP shut up Blaine why did I say that?

"Wait I didn't mean that last part, Kurt. I know how you feel about me. I know you care and you'd give up anything to be with me too, and this stupid musical isn't going to break us up no matter who gets what. It's just that I... It's just... -"

"Blaine. Shut up."

"What?"

"Shut up. I don't think you're saying what you're really thinking about. It's not about the musical or even me. I know that. Blaine, why didn't you tell me how hard it was for you to be at McKinley? Do you regret transferring? Are you doing OK? Is it really that bad?"

Oh my god why can't I speak? Stupid tears behind my eyes. Stay there, damn it, this is not Barbara Walters. Shit he's looking at my eyes all glassy, weak, shit they're not teary yet are they? No. Stupid stupid stupid.

Pull it together. Show him you're fine, you'll be fine, as long as you have him everything is great and you're perfectly capable of making lots of friends at whatever new school you could possibly spend a year at. Tell him there are some perfectly friendly and nice people in some of my classes. The New Directions members will get closer to me as we get to know each other better. It's fine, I'm fine. I'm smiling, I'm as confident and positive as always.

"Blaine. Stop trying to hide behind some veneer of bravery. I'm here for you. You can talk to me about anything, everything."

OK... Um. Damn it. Why can't I? Why can't I?

"Come here. Hug me. Baby... You don't have to spill all your feelings to me all the time, you don't have to tell me everything you're thinking right now. Just know that you can tell me anything any time, OK? Can you come over tonight? Do you want to just lay in my arms and watch TV mindlessly?"

"I really am fine here, Kurt. It takes some adjusting, but I'll be fine."

"Tell me about it?"

"OK."

"Well for now, can you just tell me if you don't want to be here, because I can help you with anything you want."

"No, you know what? I do want to be here. I want to be with you and I want to find my way at a new school. I can finish up at Dalton next year. I want this year to be about figuring out stuff I'd never figure out at Dalton."

"Like what?"

"I don't entirely know yet."

"You're weird, Blaine."

"Ha ha."

How does he always know exactly what to say to me? OK well not always. But eventually. He always eventually knows exactly what to say to me to make feel good.

His hair feels so good in my hands, the back of his neck feels even better... he's looking a bit shocked that I'm pulling him toward me, is he going to... no, he's not even looking around. He's psyched. He's excited. He doesn't give a crap if anyone is around and he doesn't even want to move his eyes from mine to check. Oh my god I love him. Here you go, Kurt. The best in-school kiss anyone has ever gotten in the history of the world, right here, right now.

His lips, oh my god, I could feel these all day, his hair, his shoulders, I can't stop grabbing for him even though he's right here and... we're doing this! His breath on my face, how do I ever live without it for even a minute? And the taste of him, I could just keep tasting him forever, oh my god can I? I don't want to stop. He loves me. He loves kissing me. He can't get enough of me. He keeps trying to get deeper as if that was even possible. Oh shit, did I hurt him? No he's fine. The locker was just loud when I pushed him up against it.

What am I even thinking? My arm is what hit the locker, and his head was in my hand, what is wrong with me worrying that he hit the locker, he didn't even. How did I not even feel my arm though? Oh. His lips, his tongue, his teeth, both his hands in my hair... Who could notice anything else that happens to them when there's that going on?

What is that annoying sound? I don't care. He's kissing me. He's kissing me. I can't stop kissing him. I can't stop. Brittany. It's Brittany trying to say something. Or maybe she keeps saying something and I keep trying to understand but I can't make sense of anything besides Kurt Kurt Kurt, tasting Kurt, feeling Kurt, being one with Kurt in this moment, here and now and Brittany! Aaargh!

"What?"

OK I can sort of make out her face now. She looks like she's answering my question. But I want to go back to kissing Kurt. What is she talking about?

" ...like root-beer or like chewing tobacco?"

"What?"

Heh. Kurt just asked the same thing I did a second ago. Brittany probably gets the question what a lot.

"Does he taste better than other guys?"

"Well now Brittany, how am I supposed to know the answer to that?"

"Because I told you what other guys taste like, and you know what he tastes like, and I bet you anything he tastes better than most boys because he's much sweeter than most boys."

I guess I have to respond to that one. "Um... Thanks, Britt?"

OK, she cracks me up sometimes. She takes some getting used to, but I'm starting to like her more and more these days.

"Brittany, leave the guys alone. They probably only have like a minute until they both have to get to their next class, and they barely get any time together."

"But isn't that weird for you, Finn? I mean he's your brother!"

"How many times has he seen me and Rachel kissing? He's never complained."

"Does Rachel ever tell you that you taste like root beer?"

"Let's give the guys some time before their class, Brittany, come on. I'll show you the Alaska and California quarters I found."

These two are so funny. Kurt's faces are so funny, watching them and looking at me to comment on them silently. Oh my gosh this is so awesome. It's like they're doing an impromptu comedy show for us. A Punch and Judy puppet show or something. They are too awesome. Kurt is trying just as hard as I am not to laugh audibly. Oh my gosh my face hurts from trying not to laugh.

"Oh Blaine, before I go see Finn's half-a-Mountain-Dew money, I just wanted to tell you... I really like you, and I want to see more of you."

"Brittany, that's nice, but I'm with Kurt."

"Oh no, I didn't mean it that way, Sweetie Rootbeer. I just mean that all anyone ever sees of you is this over-confident kind of unreal act, and I can't wait to meet the real you soon. It's like, I've seen a little bit of the real you sometimes, but I want to meet all of him. You know? It's OK to be stupid sometimes in front of us, because we want to love the real you who is probably really stupid just like the rest of us."

Oh my god. Brittany. She's like... smart. Like, really smart. But, in a really weird way.

"OK, well, I have to go get my quarters together with Finn's so they can make a Mountain Dew before lunch time!"

"Brittany, I'm not giving you my quarters! They're cool. They're the new Alaska and California quarters!"

"They work in Ohio vending machines, though, right?"

I'm sure it's OK to laugh now. Too late. Kurt laughed first anyway. He's doubled over in my arms, which he probably did on purpose. I am not complaining. These arms were right there to catch him before he even thought about it anyway.

Stupid bell. Alright, I can give him one more quick kiss right? Peck at his hair and ear as he recovers from his laughter. Oh that did the trick. Stopped his laughing, turned into kissing right away. Nice. Alright. Class. Have to get there. So does Kurt.

This kiss can linger just one more second? Yeah. Sweet Kurt. Amazing Kurt.

"Bye, Kurt."

"See you at lunch, Baby. I mean, Sweetie Root Beer."

"See ya."

English. Shoot, I forgot my Chaucer. I'm going to have to read along with the classroom copy today. The only one left is the non-translated Middle English example. Great. That's gonna be fun. Actually, it might be kind of cool doing that. When the girl next to me had to do that yesterday we were laughing about it every time she showed me the most wacky-looking older words. This will be fun. That girl is a little like Brittany in a way. Man, what was that with Brittany just now?

The real me? Like I'm not the real me when I'm standing right there in front of her? What did she say? I'm unreal? I should be stupid just like the rest of them? Weird. Maybe it's like... I don't know. The words don't make sense but somehow... I don't know. I have to be stupid so they can know me for real? Huh. It's weird. It kind of makes sense for a split second. I don't know.

I like Mike when he's trying a weird new move that might not work or when he's begging Tina to do something with his parents and stuff. I like Puck when he admits he shouldn't have left a restaurant without paying and tells Artie he'll pay him back by teaching him how to play guitar, and I like Artie for agreeing to that even though he already plays guitar and I wouldn't think Puck's lessons would make up for Artie having to run back in to pay his bill for him, and I like Artie for doing that to help out the poor waitress in the first place. I like Rachel when she realizes she was being manipulative of everyone and does something to make up for it, like asking someone else to do a solo that day, and I like Mercedes when she acts all diva and then tones it down to say something nice to someone who needs it. What did she say to Kurt at Breadstix that one time? It sounded really cool. It was something like, "It's OK to be fabulous and flawed."

I never think those people are stupid. Well, I do. But then I just like them for it.

I have to just not worry about being stupid because we're all stupid. And we're all awesome. Oh, jeez. I am an idiot. I've been an idiot this whole time.

But you know what? I'm not gonna hide that anymore.

Brittany. Ha. The sage at the top of the mountain. I just had to climb Kurt to get to talk to her! Hahahahahaha