The scene was set that night. The candles were lit, the rose petals were strewn about, and those weird heart pillows were placed just right on top of the bed. The door to the bedroom gently swung inward to let in a Lucario carrying a Gardevior.
They said not a word as the Lucario slowly put his lover on the bed. The Gardevior looked as if she'd never be as happy as she was that very moment ever before in her life.
"My love," she said, "I'm so happy we can be together like this." She lifted her hand to caress her beloved's cheek. "We're going to have such a wonderful life together!"
She drew him in for a kiss. The pair kissed with a frevor that only two in true love can do. Gardevior pulled Lucario onto the bed until they both were laying on the bed, enjoying their kiss and being in each other's arms.
Lucario finally broke the kiss.
"Gardevior, I must be the luckiest Pokémon on Earth, because I never would have dreamed meeting a girl as great as you are," Lucario whispered into her ear.
Gardevior giggled. "Let's make this night special," she whispered back in a seductive tone. "I want the night where we make our kids special."
Lucario's eyes seemed to bulge open in fear after she said this. He broke out in a cold sweat, hoping Gardevior wouldn't notice.
"Y-yeah. This w-will be great," he stuttered, mentally slapping himself for letting his fears be unintentionally slipped.
Gardevior suddenly sat up with a confused yet worried expression painted on her complexion. "Honey, what's wrong? You feel scared." She could read emotions very well, so Lucario's reaction wasn't flying by her for a second.
Lucario sat up also to met her face to face. "Gardevior..." He couldn't meet her gaze. "I have something to tell you."
Gardevior held Lucario's hand in hers. "Lucario, if this is your first time, I'll be glad to guide you through-"
"No, no, it's not that at all," he said to her, waving his arms in a "no" gesture.
"Then what is it?" Gardevior asked him. She gripped his hand even tighter.
Lucario wasn't sure if she should tell her. His gaze finally went back to meet Gardevior's.
He sighed. "I'm afraid I can't breed with you."
"WHAT?!" Gardevior nearly shouted. "What do you mean you can't breed with me?! Am I not good enough for you?!"
"It's not like that at all!" Lucario timidly responded. Lucario could sense Gardevior's aura; she was pissed.
"Then what is it then?! Are you infertile or something?" Gardevior started to relent her verbal whipping.
Lucario pulled Gardevior into a sudden hug, taking special care to make sure both of their chest pieces didn't puncture one another.
"I'm not in the same egg group as you."
"Egg group?" Gardevior asked.
"We Pokémon have different egg groups that we can breed with. I don't belong in either of your two egg groups, so I can't make eggs with you."
Gardevior seemed a little disappointed. "So that means we can't have children?"
Lucario pulled away from their hug. "Not necessarily." He got off the bed and walked to the candles. "If you're willing to agree with this, I have a plan to get us some children."
He grabbed one of the candles and held it out to Gardevior. "Do you see anything strange about this candle?"
She examined the candle. Aside from the purple flame to add to the ambiance, she could see nothing else that could be strange about this item. She shook her head.
Lucario coughed. On his signal, the candle opened its eyes and mouth.
"Hello ma'am!" the candle greeted.
"EEK!" Gardevior jumped from one side of the bed to the other. "What is that thing?!"
"This is my friend Litwick. He's agreed to help us with our problem."
"Eeyup," the chipper candle said. "I'm in the same egg group as you, so Lucario here brought me here to make some babies!" Litwick's childlike voice didn't calm down Gardevior as all.
"You want me to breed with a candle? Are you insane?!"
Lucario cleared his throat. "This is the only way to have us make children. Plus, I'm still involved in a big way, too."
"How?" She asked.
Lucario looked at her with a seductive light, aided by Litwick's seductive light. "I'll show you how all right."
He lowered Litwick to his pelvic area.
Gardevior's eyebrows shot up after realizing the implications. "Oh." She uneasily giggled. "This will be an exciting night." Her fears about Litwick's flame were obvious.
"Don't worry, missus, the flame won't hurt 'cha," Litwick supplied to quench her fears.
Gardevior sighed. "Well, let's get this started."
. . .
"Mother?" A Kirlia nervously tugged at her mom's dress.
Gardevior looked down at her child. "Yes, dear?"
"Why does my throat burn whenever I cough?" As if to prove her point, Kirlia coughed. Small, red flames shot out of her mouth like a serpent's tongue.
Gardevior broke out into a nervous sweat. She was hoping she'd never have to explain this to her children. "Well..." She started to speak.
The mother and her child stood silently, both not making a word. Kirlia started to tap her foot impatiently. "What is it, Mother?"
Gardevior sighed. "You know how you never inherented your father's aura, right?"
Kirlia nodded. "He still says I have potential, but yes."
"To make you and your twin brother, your father had to get a...second party." Gardevior hoped the euphemism wouldn't fly over her kid's head.
Kirlia tilted her head quizzically. "Second party?" The euphemism flew right over her head.
"You know Mr. Chandelure, right?"
Kirlia nodded.
"Since your father and I can't naturally breed, Mr. Chandelure decided to help with-"
"MR. CHANDELURE IS MY FATHER?!" Kirlia screamed. "FATHER ISN'T MY FATHER EITHER?!" Kirlia seemed to panic more and more. "YOU'VE BEEN LYING TO ME FOR ALL THIS TIME AND YOU NEVER TOLD ME?!" She has hyperventilating. Tiny flames accentuated her rapid breathing. Embers in, flames out.
"No, no, no, your father and I had to do that! Otherwise you or your brother wouldn't be here right now!" Gardevior felt Kirlia's panic too; It wasn't pleasant at all.
Lucario suddenly zoomed into the kitchen to be at his child's side. "What's wrong?"
"YOU AREN'T MY FATHER!" Kirlia screamed, weeping uncontrollably.
"What?" Lucario seemed genuinely suprised by this. "What would ever think I'm not your father? Of course I am. I still love you more than-"
"LAIR!" Kirlia screamed. She stomped on the floor, cracking the marble flooring.
"Calm down," Gardevior pleaded. She didn't want to see Kirlia upset nor did she want her house destroyed. "If I really didn't want to be with your father, then I would have been with Mr. Chandelure."
That was the wrong choice of words as Kirlia only cried more and Lucario's eyebrows shot up. Lucario was about to reply when the other child walked in.
"What's going on here?" the other Kirlia, "Kay" as everyone called him, asked. He nearly tripped over his more robe-like clothing in comparison to his sister's running to her side.
Kirlia wouldn't respond to him. She was to busy weeping and trying not to run out of breath from her hyperventilating fit.
Kay noticed the slight red glow from her mouth when she exhaled, but resigned to check on his sister first. "Are you okay" He, along with Lucario, put their hands on Kirlia's back.
"I still love you and your brother very, very much." Lucario stated. "I wouldn't give you two up for the wo-" His words were abruptly cut off as he was launched to the kitchen wall by a fireball.
His body slammed against the wall, cracking it as he slowly slid down. He was in a lot of pain.
Kay slapped Kirlia in the face. "Why the Distortion World did you do that to Father?!"
"Father?" She glanced to Lucario, who was getting help from Gardevior. "Hah! As if. They've been lying to us for years." Her mood seemed to do a complete 180°.
Evidently, so did Kay's as he calmed down a little from his slap. "What do you mean?"
"KIRLIA ISABELLE LUCARIO!" Gardevior shouted. "GO TO YOUR ROOM THIS INSTANT!"
"NO!" Kirlia responded in kind. Suddenly, a pink view of energy surrounded Kirlia and dragged her kicking and screaming to her room.
Kay stood near the cracked tile, totally confused. "What was that?" he asked to break the stunned silence of the room.
"I'll tell you once we bring your father to the Pokémon Center," she responded whilst carrying him bridal style.
"S-she'll be fine..." Lucario weakly said.
"I hope so." They, along with their child, walked out of the kitchen and out through the front door.