6th October 2016/
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After coming out of a surgery and losing a long term patient to going to the loo and finding she had got her period, meaning she wasn't pregnant. It was fair to say that Maria was having a pretty bad day. She tried to fight back her tears, although knew she couldn't for long so went to tell the resident on her service to cover her for the rest of the day before going into her office - barley making it through the door before the tears started to fall.
She laid herself down on the her couch and wrapped a blanket over her body. Trying to find some comfort in the warmth. Not that it helped much. The tears still fell.
About an hour later Arizona came in, after paging her and having her not respond for a good 20 minutes she knew something must be up. "Maria?" She asked gently, entering her office. "Are you not feeling well?" She asked, not yet noticing she was crying.
Maria just laid there in silence and curled herself up some more. "Hey... Sweetheart. Speak to me." She was warm in her approach and walked over to the couch, sitting beside her and slowly reached out to rub her back. Not sure whether or not she wanted the attention.
"I'm just having a really bad day." She replied through the tears.
"Oh sweetheart." She rubbed her back, knowing now that she would allow her to. "What happened?"
"I'm not pregnant." She said sadly, crying even harder after saying it.
"Oh. Well it's alright. We can try again, I could carry it or we could adopt?" She suggested. Knowing that they had gone through several sessions of IVF and all of them had failed, although they could not find a reason why.
"It's not alright Arizona." She sobbed. "We're getting old, how many years do we actually have left to have a healthy baby and for their to actually be a good chance of it being healthy!" She shouted, getting angry through her upset.
Arizona just sat in silence for a moment not wanting to make her hurt anymore and continued to rub her back. "I know sweetheart, I know. It worries me too." She replied. "Let's get you home and we'll get you off all the hormones for a while before we think about trying again."
"Thanks Arizona." She responded, the cries a bit softer now. "I love you."
"Good. Because I love you too." She replied, helping her up off the couch and walking with her to the car.
After getting her in, she tucked her up into bed and stroked her face. "I'm going to head back to work now."
"Arizona."
"What sweetheart?"
"Can you stay? I understand if you can't but I could really do with the company."
"Oh. Of course I can stay, I'll just phone Karev and tell him to cover for me." She responded, getting out her phone and calling him. "I can stay by your side for as long as you need me to."
"Thanks. You make me feel better."
"I'm glad Sweetheart." She responded, getting into bed next to her and allowing Maria to cuddle herself Into her body and get herself comfortable before wrapping her arm round her back to comfort her and turning the TV on with the remote with her other arm, knowing that it might help to soothe Maria some more.
Maria calmed down a bit from being surrounded by Arizona's warmth. "Thank you for staying." She said before getting herself up to go to the loo.
"That's fine sweetheart." She responded, staying in bed waiting for her to come back.
"You can go back to work now if you want. I'm going to take a nap and then write up some research so I'll be fine." She suggested, feeling like she was being a burden on Arizona.
"You sure?" She asked, Maria still looked really down and she didn't really want to leave her like this.
"I'm sure." Maria confirmed, trying to be brave and not cry again. She was sure a nap and a bit of work would make her feel better.
"Okay, well just give me a call if you want me home." Arizona gave Maria a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "I love you." She replied before heading back to the hospital.
Maria sighed, the depression and loneliness swarmed over her once again once Arizona had gone and she'd got herself comfortable in bed. The nap wasn't going to happen then. She could at least push through and write up some research though... Maybe it'd make her feel better.
Not that she got very far. She didn't really get anywhere. The tears were meaning she was working really slowly and her brain just couldn't concentrate on the task at hand. She looked at the clock and sighed. 4:38. It would be another two hours until Arizona got back home and that would be if she hadn't been caught up in any traumas. Best case scenario.
Oh how she needed Arizona right now. Her warm comforting touch and her soft, gentle voice. Reassuring her that it'd be okay and reminding her that she was loved. Not that it would mean she would phone her, because Arizona's work was important and she felt bad for taking her away from it already that day.
She struggled through some more work for another hour then made dinner for Arizona, so she could heat it up when she was home. Maria decided she would pass on dinner tonight. She didn't really feel like eating, not that Arizona would approve of that. She was always trying to get Maria to eat more, especially after she'd lost weight over the last couple of months.
Then she decided to curl herself back into bed, and accompanied herself with season 1 of hart of Dixie to try and cheer her up a little. Or at least enough for her to be able to kid Arizona that she was fine.
When Arizona arrived home all she could hear was the gentle hum of the TV from upstairs. She went into the kitchen and found dinner, she decided to put it in the microwave to heat while she went upstairs to check on Maria. "Hello beautiful wife." She greeted, sitting beside her. "Feeling any better?"
The tears flooded, Maria tried to control them but she couldn't.
"No?" Arizona asked, and rubbed the back of her unresponsive wife. "It'll all be okay sweetheart. It'll be okay." She reassured and continued to run her back until she could tell her tears had calmed down. "I'm going to eat my dinner and then I'll be back. Do you want anything?"
"Just a glass of water." Maria responded.
"Okay, I can do that." Arizona gave her a kiss on the cheek before going downstairs.
For the rest of the night they both just snuggled in bed and watched TV, Arizona knowing that that was what was best for Maria right now and desperately wanting a smiling wife again.
