Speed of Sound, a mediator fanfic

A/N: I felt so bad about the whole killing Jesse thing, that I decided to post a one shot that isn't about killing Jesse. I'm also working on chapter two of Romeo and Juliet Mediator Style, but I don't know when it'll be up. I still need like, a plot. And how it can relate to Shakespeare. Sort of.

Disclaimer: Meg owns all the characters, Coldplay owns the song. I own nothing.

"Speed Of Sound"

I stared down at the ground from my position…well, above it.

I wanted to cry, wanted to feel a tear roll down my cheek, but none came. I was more angry now than sad. But I shouldn't be angry, people can't control their emotions. You can't make someone love you.

No matter how hard you try.

How long before I get in?

Before it starts, before I begin?

How long before you decide?

I couldn't make Jesse love me. It was something he would have to do on his own.

The monkey bars were cold beneath me, pressing through my jeans. It was early morning. I don't know how early, but the sun had yet to rise.

I knew he at least liked me. No one, no one, could kiss someone like that and not at least like the person they were kissing. He'd said he needed 'time to think'. When would he be done 'thinking'?

Before I knew what it feels like?

Where to, where do I go?

If you never try, then you'll never know.

How long do I have to climb,

Up on the side of this mountain of mine?

So until he found me and broke my heart, (not like it was fully intact anyway) I had come here to do some thinking of my own. Needless to say, the park was deserted at this time of the morning. I thought it would be a good place for me to be alone.

The wind whipped against me cheeks, like a gentle caress.

I loved him so much.

And for the moment, I could pretend that he loved me too.

But how long did I have for this illusion?

Look up, I look up at night,

Planets are moving at the speed of light.

Climb up, up in the trees,

every chance that you get,

is a chance you seize.

How long am I gonna stand,

with my head stuck under the sand?

I'll start before I can stop,

before I see things the right way up.

I lay down, not caring that the metal bars pressed into my back and skull. I watched the last traces of stars begin to disappear and the first rays of sunlight start to shine through.

I needed to face reality sooner or later.

I knew that.

He was a ghost.

I wasn't.

It was going to raise problems eventually.

I couldn't be like those damn ostriches. Sticking their heads in the ground every time they didn't like something. Not that that was a bad way to do things. For a while.

But the real world is going to come crashing down on your shoulders sometime.

That's where I was.

All that noise, and all that sound,
All those places I got found.
And birds go flying at the speed of sound,
to show you how it all began.
Birds came flying from the underground,
if you could see it then you'd understand?

It's still fresh in my mind how he got in this mood of his. We had been, well, making out, and Father D. had caught us. I'd had a hell of a lot of explaining to do. He took it pretty well, actually, Father D, I mean. Jesse…hadn't. He's started saying how he shouldn't have disrespected me, etc. It was really starting to annoy me.

I'd heard his words, about how he needed to think, and maybe I should too.

Sound is fast. It's one of the fastest things there are. Light is faster. The meaning of his words had dawned on me far before I ever understood what he was saying. I just watched his hand run through his hair again and again and again…

Ideas that you'll never find,
All the inventors could never design.
The buildings that you put up,
Japan and China all lit up.
The sign that I couldn't read,
or a light that I couldn't see,
some things you have to believe,
but others are puzzles, puzzling me.

I'd just have to believe that we were supposed to be together. For now, that would have to be enough.

Still…was he breaking up with me?

Had he been planning on doing it anyway?

Was there something I missed? Some lack of…affection? Had he stopped calling me Querida?

No. Everything had been normal.

I needed to understand why he was doing this. I shifted my position a little, closed my eyes.

A moment later I heard a voice.

"Susannah?"

I froze. It was him. That voice I hadn't heard in well over a week.

I sat up, "Jesse?"

"Querida," all hope was not lost, "what are you doing here? You should be home. In bed, sleeping."

"I couldn't sleep."

"Ah." He climbed up the bars and sat next to me.

"Are you done thinking?" My voice took on a hard, cold tone. I hoped my pissiness

"Yes, and I'm sorry."

My pissiness was noted.

I waited for him to continue.

"Susannah, Querida," he didn't meet my gaze, "there are so many things to work out. To consider. This can not go on forever."

All those signs, I knew what they meant.
Some things you can invent.
Some get made, and some get sent,

"Nothing goes on forever Jesse."

"I know," I dreaded what was going to come out of his mouth next, the punch line. The one that would crush my heart into a million pieces, like shattered glass. And then he would dance on them.

Well, maybe not. He's too polite. That's a Paul thing.

He looked into my eyes, "I…there's something I need to say. But I can't. You need to live your life. You can't wait for me, I'm…dead. A ghost is not what you need."

"You're right, I don't need a ghost, I need you. And we'll make it work Jesse, I don't know how, but we will."

I looked into his liquid eyes, like melted chocolate. Deep pools that I could drown in.

At least if I did it would make things a lot simpler. Or…a lot more complex, actually. If I drowned, I mean.

"Susannah, I love you."

I froze.

Ooh?
Birds go flying at the speed of sound,
to show you how it all began.
Birds came flying from the underground,
if you could see it then you'd understand,
ah, when you see it then you'll understand.

He whated me?

I opened my mouth and no sound came out, so I closed it. He blushed and started to back away, began to climb down the ladder.

He thought I didn't love him.

He was so, so wrong.

I opened my mouth again, to say something and an odd squeaky noise came out of it. He had one foot on the ground by now and looked up at me, like I was some sort of strange experiment.

I made the noise again.

I hopped down to the ground, ditching the ladder and wrapped my arms around his waist, burying my nose in the little v of his shirt.

"I love you too Jesse."

He kissed me, a long, sweet kiss and I knew that we would find a way to make it work. Somehow, someway, someday, everything would be right.

A/N: What did ya think? I hope you liked it, and that you are less angry (if you read my tag team fic with Mrs. Nikki Slater). Otherwise, if you have no idea what I'm talking about, I hope you liked it.

Now please review.