The Evening That Changed It All
"If love is setting a place at the table for someone who is never coming home, I think I'll pass."
Moments after Erica sits down at the dining table and is reunited with her whole family for the first time since her divorce from her husband Bill, the doorbell rings.
"Guys, it's probably Kate! I know it is! She told me she would stop by!" Rusty screams out with excitement.
"Rusty, don't get your hopes up. Remember what Kate did to you! Do not go answer that door! Rusty!" Sam tries to stop him by grabbing the sleeve of his shirt attempting to convince him not to go.
"Odds are it's not her and probably just some kind of religious group or something. You know how it is, they always stop by this time of year trying to push themselves onto us!" said Sam.
"Sam! Seriously, why do you always have to be so cynical?!" he yelled right back at his sister.
Rusty sprinted towards the door, hoping whoever it was did not leave. He did not care who it was, but secretly longed for it to be Kate. He saw a girl bundled up in a bright red jacket with long, light brown hair walking back down the driveway of his dad's house, leaving. He quickly fixed his ragged black hair.
"Wait! Come back!" he yelled as the mysterious girl turned around.
It was Kate.
"Hey," said Rusty, shocked.
"Hi," Kate said awkwardly while waving at Rusty.
She shuffled back up the driveway toward the front door where Rusty was standing.
"I know you invited me to your dad's today for Thanksgiving a while back, and you probably didn't think I would actually show up. I honestly wasn't going to but, then I realized I needed to face the truth and stop hiding and finally come talk to you."
"Why? I mean, I am happy you did and all! I'm really glad to see you Kate; honestly, I guess I'm just wondering why? Like why now?" he said with a confused countenance.
"Well, the truth is, I miss you. I haven't been able to sleep at night and throughout the day I can't seem to take my mind off you. I know I don't deserve you, especially after the way I treated you. I never returned your calls and I was in an uneasy state of mind and I truly am sorry. You mean a lot to me Rusty, and all I really want is to have you back in my life. I'm sorry."
"Kate…I don't know how to react," Rusty said. "You broke my heart. You were my first love and I was devastated for days. I even slept in my closet! I couldn't get over you. And now, here you are, right in front of me, and I don't know what to say. I have dreamt of this moment for you to come back to me but, now that it is here, I am lost more than ever."
"Rusty," Kate began. "I know you don't have a lot to say right now; I expected that. My biggest mistake was thinking you could fix me. Only I can fix me."
Rusty was speechless.
"I guess…all I'm asking for," Kate paused and stared into Rusty's dark brown eyes, "is a second chance. I want to prove to you that I can turn my life around and be better for you."
Her eyes started to tear up as she got emotional.
"Kate," began Rusty. He thought back to Sam's comment on what he had gone through and experienced all because of her; "I don't know if that is a good idea. I really want to be with you, but I just don't know if I can. It just doesn't feel right to me. I'm..."
Kate interrupted him. "Please, Rusty, at least think about it?"
"Kate."
"Rusty? Please?" Kate begged.
"Ok." Rusty finally agreed to think about it although he knew the outcome probably would not have been what she had wanted. "I will call you tomorrow night."
"Ok. I'll talk to you then," said Kate as she strolled down the driveway and headed home, nervous for what tomorrow would hold.
Rusty came back inside moments later, shaken up. The family was sitting at the dinner table and asked him what had happen. He did not want to talk about it; Sam could tell her brother was not himself. After they had all finished eating, Sam took everyone's dishes and put them in the large, metallic sink she then walked over to where Rusty was standing, pulled him a side and talked to him.
"Come on Rusty," began Sam, "let's go upstairs."
Rusty did not particularly want to talk about it but, knew that his sister would be able to give him advice. He figured it was worth the shot, after all, if the most cynical girl regarding romance, Sam, could find love with her boyfriend Lou, anything deemed possible.
Sam sprinted up the stairs and Rusty slowly followed behind her. They went into Rusty's messy room and climbed through the single-pane window to get to their favorite place, the rooftop. When they climbed onto the roof, the sun in the autumn sky was already set. The now night sky was a deep blue and the stars shown off in the distance. Rusty could barely see Sam's face, only the silhouette. He lit a bong and began smoking to relieve the stress of the eventful evening.
"Was that Kate who rang the bell earlier?" questioned Sam.
"Yep. It sure was." Rusty responded while casually blowing smoke halos.
Sam did not say anything and just stared at him. Rusty passed the bong and she took a hit just like the last time they were out on the rooftop.
Rusty's eyes began to water. He put his head down. He felt as though something was eating away at his heart and he could no longer feel anything except numbness.
"Sam…I ha-ve n-o id-ea wha-t to do," he tried to collect himself so he wouldn't completely burst into tears. "She is perfect. I cannot let her go yet, I cannot be with her. When I am around her, I just feel like all my worries fade away and I am at peace."
"Rusty…I hate to see you like this. It pains me. I know you were in love with her but, I cannot see my little brother going through this. You need to forget the past and Kate and just move on!"
"Easier said than done." he bluntly replied.
Rusty zones out. He has a flashback to the time Kate ran off with another, older man named Gus during Sam's book signing. He remembers how his family had to track Gus down and pick her up from his apartment. Rusty reminisces seeing her wrapped up in the big, white comforter; that was the moment he found out she cheated on him realizing Gus took advantage of her in a vulnerable state. He was heartbroken. Rusty starts to tear up again. He realizes that he has never cared so strongly about someone in his life as much as he did, or in this case, still does for Kate.
"You are an amazing and caring person and deserve so much better," Sam continues, being as sincere as possible.
Rusty interrupts her, "But, Sam, I love Kate! No one understands how I feel. Not you, not anyone! I don't deserve better! I realize she put me through a lot of pain and misery but, that does not outweigh all of the memories and remarkable times I had with her!" His tone of voice shifted from heavy-hearted to upset and annoyed.
"Rusty! Calm down!" Sam shouts at him.
"Do not tell me to calm down Sam!"
At this point, Rusty is extremely upset. He tosses the bong off the roof and goes back inside. Franticly going through his unorganized closet, he throws several t-shirts and jeans into his backpack almost as though he is packing for a trip.
"Where are you going?!" said Sam.
"Seriously! Sam it's none of your business!"
Rusty grabs his unzipped backpack and hurries down the stairs. Sam follows after him.
"Rusty!" she shouts.
He heads toward the front door and doesn't acknowledge Sam. He opens it, and slams it shut behind him. At this point, Sam is confused and debates going after him. She is standing in the archway between the dining room and the entryway of her dad's home.
"Where is Rusty going?" questions Bill as he puts away the now clean dishes that Erica has finished drying, not paying full attention to the situation at hand.
"I have no idea," Sam responses muddled and helpless. "It's probably about Kate."
"He'll get over it. He's just still upset about it. She was his first love. It's always hard and takes time."
"Sometimes people just don't get it," Sam thought to herself as she regretted what she said to Rusty about moving on from the whole Kate situation. She realized she should have given her brother better advice; but, what did she know, she had never been in a similar situation.
*"Me" by The 1975 is playing through Rusty's earbuds*
Rusty is wandering through the dimly-lit streets of his dad's neighborhood deciding where to go next. He is dazed, confused, and slightly high wishing he could just disappear into thin air. He has Kate on his mind, thinking back to the times they shared together. Rusty sits down on the rough curb. It begins to downpour. The ginormous rain drops come down one by one hitting his backpack, seeping into the light fabric onto his clothes. All of a sudden, he hears sirens in the background. He looks to his left and sees a police car along with a firetruck and ambulance speed by.
Rusty ends up at the speculated crime scene. He sees a car that is wrapped and mangled around a pine tree. It is a black Audi; similar to that of Kate's. He notices that the back bumper is a bit rusted. Rusty thinks back to the time Kate told him about how the back of her bumper was rusted in almost the same exact spot; he automatically thinks of her. At this point, Rusty is anxious, praying it is not Kate and that is intuition is incorrect. He sees a police officer off to the side of the accident and hastily strolls over to him to ask what had happened.
Rusty clears his throat. "Excuse me, officer," he began.
"What are you doing out here? This crime scene is off limits for the public. Officials only!" The cop abruptly explains to Rusty hoping he would get the message and leave.
"Officer, please, can you just tell me what happened, or who was involved, anything! I need to know!"
"Why?" he replies, getting annoyed at this point.
"You don't understand. My ex-girlfriend had this car," Rusty explains.
"So what kid, a lot of people have this type of car!" he replied chuckling to himself, almost as though it was funny and if Rusty was a joke.
"You don't…" he begins as the first officer gets interrupted by a paramedic.
"We are taking the victim of the crash to the hospital right now. She is in terrible condition. We'll be lucky if she makes it through the night."
"Do we know any information on the girl yet?" questioned the police officer.
"Well, we know she was a local. I'd say about 16." The paramedic flips through the paperwork he found in the car, including the victims license. "Looks like her name was maybe Kate?" he unsurely states. "Seems as though she overdosed on drugs and to make it worse, she was also intoxicated."
"Wow that is truly unfortunate; especially to happen to someone this young. Imagine that, this girl still had so much time left in her life. Think about all there was left for her to accomplish; college, a job, a future. It's depressing how quickly someone's life can drastically change by an event so preventable."
Rusty is still standing next to the police officer. He begins to cry.
"No! No!" he cries. "Why?! Why her? Why now?"
Rusty takes off. He runs in the direction of his dad's house. At this point, it is around midnight.
Rusty makes it back around one am; he did not realize how far away from home he was. At this point, no one is up, not even Sam. He is by himself and starts to have crazy thoughts. He realizes at this point he has nothing to live for; he is already depressed, and now Kate is dead. He did not even get the chance to call her!
Rusty's mind is racing. He is faced with regrets and sorrow, depression yet anger. He goes into the laundry room and finds the old, dusty box where his dad keeps the gun. That was the night Rusty decided to end his life.
"What do I have to live for anymore?" he says aloud to himself as he puts the gun up to his head and pulls the trigger.
That was the second incident of the night, showing how quickly one's life can end.