Author's Note: So here's a little look at another side of Carlos. A lot of you will probably hate the ending, but in a way it makes sense. This is a one-shot and I will not be writing anymore for this. I don't think I can anyway.

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights to Big Time Rush or The Script who sing the song "Nothing" on which this fic is inspired by.


"Carlos! Carlos! CARLOS! C'mon man! Open the door!"

He'd been pounding on the door for nearly 20 minutes and still no answer. He leans against the door, letting out a breath of defeat.

"Logan, you okay, man?" James asks, entering the apartment.

"I'm worried about him," Logan explains nodding his head towards the room behind him.

"Still hasn't come out, huh?"

"It's been three days and I've tried everything to get him out or at least to talk to me."

"Dude, she really broke his heart. What you really got to do is let him get through it on his own."

"I'm just scared, James… scared that he's never going to get over her… scared that since this didn't work out, there's no hope for any of us."

James sighs. "I know what you mean. Look, keep trying to get Carlos to open the door. I'm going to get out of these gym clothes, find Kendall, and then come back for you guys."

Before Logan can ask James what he's planning, the taller boy disappears into his room. Logan sighs, turns around, and resumes his sad attempt at getting Carlos to come to the door.


Knock!Knock!Knock!

"Carlos! Please… talk to me!" Logan's pleading voice is semi-muffled through the door.

Carlos remains where he is, lying on his side clutching the piece of paper that turned his world upside down. Nothing matters more at the moment than figuring out what went wrong. She was perfect. He thought they were happy. She accepted, even encouraged, all his little nuances like no other girl ever had. Everything seemed perfect. He was considering marrying her after they graduated in two years.

"What went wrong?" Carlos thinks aloud while wiping a tear from his eye.

He rereads the letter.

Carlos,

This just isn't working. I'm sorry. I did love you, but I can't take it anymore. I'm moving back home. Please don't try to contact or find me. It's better that way.

Stephanie

Actually, the letter is no longer legible. The ink had run from all the tears that have fallen on it. Carlos can't remember anymore if it's all from his tears or if any were actually Stephanie's. The words on the page have been committed to memory but it's the one thing he wants to forget.

The last three days have been filled with the same questions cycling through his mind. What's worse is that each question gives rise to more questions but never any answers. The only one who can clear his mind is gone, but no matter how much it pains him, he's respecting her wishes by not calling.

Tap!Tap!Tap!

"Carlos… I can't even imagine how much you are hurting, but I just want you to know that I worry about you. I… I… I miss you. I miss the happy-go-lucky Carlos. I miss my best friend. I'm going to go now, but know that I'm here for you."

Carlos almost forgot that Logan was at the door. In just those few words, Carlos could hear worry and defeat in Logan's voice. But how could he or anyone else for that matter understand?

"Logan never said he understood," Carlos realizes, "All he wants me to do is be okay… whatever that means."

Carlos sits up on the edge of the bed and takes a look around his room. He doesn't know when, or how, it got this messy; clothes tossed haphazardly on the floor, empty dishes all over his desk, and a trash can overflowing with crumpled pieces of paper.

He picks one up, flattens it, and sees the same questions he's been asking himself staring up at him. These pages were his sad hope of finding answers, as if writing them over and over again would somehow reform the words into an explanation. Maybe it is time for him to talk to someone else. If anything, they'd be able to give him some feedback. Anything would be better than allowing his mind to continuously go to worst-case-scenario.


"Hey, Logan," Kendall greets cautiously, seeing the brunette lost in thought with a worried look on his face. "Any luck on the Carlos front?"

Logan shakes his head. "Kendall, I've stopped trying. When he's ready he'll come to us... but that doesn't mean I still don't worry about him."

Kendall takes a seat next to Logan when a door squeaks open. The two look hopefully toward the hallway, but are slightly disappointed by the figure that appears.

"Glad to see you too!" the figure jokes.

"Sorry, James. We were hoping you were Carlos."

"I don't know if I should be offended by that."

Logan and Kendall hang their heads in shame.

"C'mon, guys. It was a joke."

Logan addresses James, looking like he's aged 5 years. "How can you be so chipper when our friend is hurting?"

That knocks James for a loop and he takes a seat on the adjacent couch. "I'm not. Just trying to lighten the vibe. I'm sick of this cloud hanging over this apartment, but there's really nothing we can do. Carlos has to come to us on his own."

Another door squeaks and they hold their breath. Three sets of eyes are glued to the hallway, willing Carlos to step out. After what seemed like ages, the Latino slowly and cautiously enters the common area and the three let out their breath.

"Hey, Carlos. How ya feeling?" Kendall greets.

Logan hits Kendall's chest and gives him a really-you-chose-to-ask-him-that-after-being-in-isolation-for-three-days look. Kendall shrinks into the couch.

"Logan, I wish you didn't worry about me so much... but thank you." Carlos says taking a seat next to James.

An awkward silence settles around them, no one knowing if or how they want to bridge the topic.

"Well, I'm hungry!" James says jumping up from his seat.

Logan and Kendall look at James in horror, while Carlos keeps his attention on the coffee mug stain on the coffee table.

"What?" James asks, trying to convey his plan telepathically.

"Oh, yeah… me too!" Kendall replies. "Why don't we all go get some food? What do you say, Carlos? I think it'll be good for you to get out of this apartment."

Logan lets out a heavy sigh and buries his head in his hands.

Carlos lifts his head and looks at his friends. He takes a deep heavy breath as he realizes how much they do worry about him, but also how much they have become family. He wipes his hands on his pants.

"You know what? I think that's a good idea."

"Really?" Logan asks rather quickly.

Carlos smirks and the other three smile with him.

"Yeah… I think it's time."


Twenty minutes later they are headed to the sports restaurant around the corner, they had forgotten that the Wild were playing that night. Luckily for them, it's a home game so the restaurant wasn't too packed and was seated in fifteen minutes.

They don't need to look at the menus because they've been here so often. They robotically rattle off each other's order, but James adds on a round of beers. They get lost in the game while they wait for their food. Not long after, their view of the screens is blocked by a few familiar faces.

"Hey, guys! How's it going?"

"Oh, c'mon, Camille! You're blocking the screen."

The brunette turns around, just in time to see the game break to commercial.

"What's it matter now?" she asks sliding in next to Logan, forcing him to push Carlos toward the wall of the booth.

"Hey, Kendall," a blond shyly greets.

"Hi, Jo. Never thought I'd see you here." Kendall responds.

"Huh? Oh, Camille brought me. Thought it was time for me to be exposed to the locals," she giggles. "Mind if I sit?"

"No, not at all."

Kendall and James shift over to allow Jo to sit.

Before anyone could say anything else, the waiter arrives with their orders.

"Would either of you ladies like anything?" the waiter asks after he finishes distributing the food and drinks.

"Just a glass of water for me. Thanks," Camille responds.

"Same here," Jo says.

As the waiter leaves, Logan asks, "Are you sure?"

"What are you saying, Logan?" Camille asks.

"Uh… I mean… um…" Logan stammers.

Camille laughs. "I'm just kidding. Jo and I already ate. We were on our way out when we saw you guys. Thought we'd say 'hi' and hang out. That's ok, right?"

Logan and Kendall quickly reply in the affirmative, while James hesitates prior to agreeing, and Carlos just solemnly stares at his food and nods.

For a while it seems like everything is going great until James starts to realize the growing number of glasses in front of Carlos. He decides not to say anything, but keeps a close eye on his friend.

Another few minutes pass with Kendall and Logan being oblivious to the numerous rounds Carlos is ordering. James can't take it anymore.

"Carlos, everything okay?" James whispers.

"Hmm… yeah, I'm fine," Carlos slurs.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah… stop worrying about me…" Carlos' voice trails off as he looks over to Kendall, Jo, Logan, and Camille. His face betraying the words he just spoke.

"Carlos…?"

"JAMES! I SAID I'M FINE!"

Carlos powerfully nudges Logan forcing Logan and Camille out of the booth. Once he finally makes it out, Carlos storms out of the restaurant.

"What's wrong with him?" Camille asks sliding back into the booth.

"We should probably follow him," Kendall says slightly nudging Jo to let him out.

"No, I think he just needs some air," James speculates stopping Kendall.

"James, what do you know?" Logan asks sliding in next to Camille.

"Haven't you guys noticed how quiet he's been all night?"

Logan and Kendall exchange glances, then shake their head.

"Well, have you noticed all the beers he's had?" James asks gesturing to the empty glasses in front of Carlos' spot.

"Wow, I'm an asshole," Kendall thinks aloud.

"What are you getting at, James?"

James sighs, "Look, I'm not blaming anyone here, but I think Carlos is having a hard time seeing you guys be all friendly and couple-ly."

Camille hangs her head, "Oh, right. Now I'm the horrible person."

"Uhh, guys… I think you should go find Carlos… NOW!" Jo interjects after reading a text message.

All eyes are on her to elaborate. She hands her phone over to Kendall whose eyes widen as he reads it aloud.

I can change. Just tell me what I need to do. Please don't ignore me. I love you, Stephanie!

"I knew he had one too many!" James exclaims.

The boys throw down enough to pay the bill and leave a very generous tip. Logan is the first one out, followed closely by the others. They barge out into the cool night air and scan the street, but there's no sign of Carlos. That is until they hear sobbing coming from the alley separating the restaurant and the apartments next door. They carefully make their way and are able to hear portions of a one-sided conversation.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'm sorry for whatever it is I did. I thought we were happy. I was very happy… I was… even… ready… to… to..." Carlos breaks down into tears, not able to finish telling her how much she really meant to him.

James, Logan, and Kendall's hearts break at the sight of their best friend squatting against a brick wall in a dirty alley pouring his heart out to a phone. They rush over, pull him up into a standing position, and engulf him into a group hug, in which the flood gates completely open.

Camille and Jo stand off to the side watching the show of brotherhood. Feeling as if they would be intruding on such a private matter, they gain Kendall's attention and let him know that they will be going.

The boys remain in the embrace for about a minute before Carlos pushes them off and stares at his phone.

"Carlos…" Logan begins cautiously, "… how about you give me the phone?"

Carlos looks through Logan and responds, "I've called her ten times and each time all I hear is nothing. I just need her to tell me what happened."

"She's just not ready, yet," Kendall tries to explain.

"How do you know? How does anyone know but her?" Carlos begins to get agitated. "I need to find her. Once we talk everything will be good and we can forget all this happened." He stumbles forward making Logan catch him to prevent him from falling.

"Not tonight you aren't," James says, helping Logan support the Latino and leading him back toward the apartment.

"Bu-… bu-… but…"

"No, 'buts', Carlos; what you need now is to rest. We'll help you figure things out in the morning..." Kendall explains, following a few steps behind.

"… PROMISE!" the three commit in unison.