No Goodbyes
It was a January afternoon and Sanji was happy. Happier than he had been in the past week. Today he got to go see him. His house was just down the street from where he was headed, and, finally, Sanji would get to relax, just lie in bed, his arms around him, and make sweet love. As cheesy as it sounded, to say that Sanji was looking forward to it would have been quite the understatement. He was tired and ready to be loved. Yes, the idea of being with him made Sanji almost forget the crap that had been his life since last Christmas. Sanji wanted it and he wanted to be wanted by him because he needed him. Sanji was already head over heels in love with him and his feelings towards Sanji seemed the same. Even though the week had been nothing less than shitty, actually, no, Sanji would have preferred the week to have been shitty because what the week had been was exponentially worse than what a simple word like 'shitty' could define his shitty week as, he was happy because now after more than ten days away, Sanji was getting to see him.
Another reason which added to his happiness was that he was done with his work this morning. Even though it was work that he genuinely enjoyed doing, he had been down about how depressed he was, and it was making him sad, almost angry at himself and so he spent time thinking about how he would be rewarded at the end. Sanji's reward was him, of course. Everything, every thought, seemed to be leading back to him. And that's what made Sanji glad that he was getting to see him tonight. The thought of being in his arms again made him giddy with excitement and so when he saw the bus reach his destination, he signalled for the stop and got off near the plaza where he lived. Sanji saw him stand outside a sign for the Dentist's Office waiting for him. Smiling, Sanji reached out to hold his hand but he seemed really cold, stiff almost. Ignoring that, Sanji continued to cross the street with him and head to the park towards his house.
They were barely halfway across and it was getting windy. That's when Sanji's world came crashing down. "…I think we need to take a break." Sanji still was trying to hold his hand when he had mumbled those words, and Sanji barely heard them at the end of a sentence, almost muted by the wind which seemed to have picked up for the snowstorm headed their way. Sanji didn't know what to do. "Shitty joke," he thought to himself.
Stunned with the reality of the situation and at the same time wanting so badly for it to turn back to how it was, Sanji didn't try to stop the tears. His took his ring off. Holding it in his left hand, he mused with it for a fraction of a second, turning it and feeling it in his hand but not on his finger, he briefly went over the happiness he had felt when he got it on their six month "anniversary". Just a moment later, but with certainty in his actions, Sanji handed the ring back to him. Another moment passed. His knees gave way. And sitting down on both knees while holding back the tears and still trying to gauge the situation, he just sat there. No more words to say but so much left to be said and to be understood but there he was ready to leave. Fuck. Why wasn't Sanji any good at expressing his own feelings through words, he thought.
Silence from one and tears from the other, both teens seemed to be frozen by the wind which seemed to hug Sanji cold. "It's probably easier for you if I leave now." With that said, he was gone. Sanji was left sitting on the ground, sobbing, alone. He opened his eyes and the tears seemed to have been frozen by the wind in his glassy blue eyes, shining like water under sunlight. His heart might have broken when he saw him walking towards the direction they were supposed to go to together, walking alone, while leaving Sanji abandoned in a park, their park. He felt the tears come back and didn't stop them. He thoughts were a mess and so was he.
"Stupid Mosshead."