Forbidden Paradise
All I could think about was him.
He was all over the place. I could swear if I close my eyes I can even hear his voice calling my name, and picture his beautiful face close to mine, his unnecessary ice breath next to my ear.
It was all about him. Always. And forever.
He was there, I swear. I could almost feel his presence, all I needed to do is to close my eyes and imagine his body next to me, his arms snaking around my waist in a cold embrace.
Oh yeah, my imagination was doing pretty disturbing things to my mind, I mean, not that I didn't know or remember – how could I forget? – that he wasn't really there? I know, believe me, I do. But I just couldn't figure out a way of living without Edward. He was everything to me.
So every time I go to sleep I would catch myself thinking about him, picturing him doing things he would never allow himself to, breaking those stupid rules he created not to break me. Unspeakable things, ones that would make me moan softly underneath the comfort of my covers.
I know, I am very aware he doesn't deserve that kind of attention. For god's sake, he left me! The guy had the nerve to leave me behind after professing his eternal love to me, after making me believe I was someone worth the time, after making me love him so fucking much and making me believe life is something impossible having if there's no Edward to share it.
He really didn't deserve my feelings. But… what can I do? I cant help it.
So I proceeded the task of making me believe he is here again, that he still loves me and his arms want to embrace me tight, smash me into his hard chest.
I guess I'm going insane but I don't mind.
Eyes wide shut and a hand slowly crawling down my skin, tracing inch by inch, imagining it's him doing that delicious path down bellow.
I grunt as I find that special spot, the one that always make my life more bearable. A tentative rub. I sigh.
The increasing friction is good I really can imagine it's him doing this, making me grow hotter inside with every touch.
I keep it quite – as quite as it can be – given the circumstances. You see, my dad, Charlie is right next door. By the time I suppose he's fast asleep. I don't want him to see me like that, falling apart for the guy who left me so broken.
Poor dad… I must be a disappoint to him. I can always remember the faint worry in his chocolate eyes. It comes directly to me and hit my heart like a sharp spear.
Oh dad, I'm so sorry to disappoint to you, for not being able to be happy, for being beyond repair, for being a burden to you.
At this point I'm clearly hotter than I could never imagine I could be. I didn't realize the friction bellow has increased at the point I was jerking myself all over the bed, seeking my lovely release.
I love you so much. I'm so, so sorry…
Dad…
As sparkle lights burned behind my half lidded eyes, I let it all go in a warm wave of pleasure that washes all the pain away – for now.
A few seconds later my not so clouded brain can register two things.
First, I was breathing heavy, feeling so excited and hot as I trash my bed all over.
And second… my sweet heaven was impregnated by images of my dad's eyes upon me.
Oh shit, I just had an orgasm thinking about Charlie?
What the fuck is wrong with me?