I made some changes! Sooo sorry everyone I thought it could use some fixing!
I was awaken by a loud bang. "Ugh my parents are fighting again really at least let me get some sleep," I thought to myself. I heard a car door slam then a loud start of an engine and heard a car speeding away. I got up and looked out the blinds, I push the lose strands of honey blonde hair out of my eyes. This was the 3rd time this week one of her parents tumbled down the street in furry. I had cried sometimes at night, but now thanks to her parents she was tougher than a nail. Yes I loved my parents but all they ever did was fight! I walked over to the mirror and yanked a brush through my fine hair. I looked at my clock. "5:30, 5:30 you have got to be kidding me!" I thought. I grabbed a jacket and silently went down the stairs. I sunk outside and breathed in cool, crisp, night air.
I walked over to my telescope and gazed at the stars. I could see the big dipper and the little dipper. Growing up in sunny los angels California any normal person would expect me to be a beach bunny and a popular girl. The truth is I'm not. I'm not popular at school. All the girls hate me for my sarcastic behavior and the guys hate me because I'm to smart to date any of them, let alone grind with them at parties. I did have group of friends though, Johan, Krystal, Patsy (Patricia), and Nick. I had met them in 2nd grade and we clicked instantly. Johan with his black hair, brown eyes, and goofy personality, Krystal with her bleach blonde hair and lilac eyes. Pattz with her brown flowy hair and deep green eyes. And finally Nick, beautiful, gorgeous, Nick, I had loved Nick ever since they were kids, his deep coppery hair and golden eyes. I loved Nickoli and I always would.
I sat staring at the stars forever putting them on my star map. Then I spun when I the heard sirens. A police car stopped in front of my house. I ran out the gate to meet them.
"Jessica Golden?" He asked though his voice was not questioning. "Yes," I replied. Wondering what they might want. He looked sad, almost sorry for her? "Why would he be sorry for me" I thought. "There has been an accident, a car wreck; your mother was involved with this car wreck Miss. Golden. She died in this car wreck."
I couldn't breathe, couldn't move, and couldn't think well at least about anything but the pain. I clutches my sides and started to hyper ventilate. I started mumbling thing like no this can't be happening, but it was happening. My mom, my mom who tucked me in at night, killed spiders, held my hand when no one else would was gone. I would never get to tell her how much I loved her. I wouldn't get to have my first taste of alcohol (even though I already have) with my mom. I started crying, no screaming. When the officer reached for me I only screamed louder. I started to see black dots in my vision then everything went dark.
I woke in my bed everything was dark. A dream it was only a dream yes how could I have been so stupid! I mean if my mom was really dead I wouldn't be in bed I'd be planning her funeral for pete's sake! I got out of bed and went down stairs practically skipping with happiness. When I got to the end of the stairs there were tons of people in the room, police and mortuary men. I felt my breath come quickly. No one even noticed I was in the room. I hid behind a wall and listened to what they were saying. I started to sob, silent sobs, sad sobs. Each tear that fell stood for something I regret about. Fighting with my mom about parties, not taking her fashion advice and ending up looking like a slut, or a homeless persone. I only wish I could say sorry.
I watched the men in suits carry my mother's body bag to the car, knowing what was inside the bag I cried a gentle cry. I saw someone come up the steppes and the next thing I know I'm in my brother warm, strong arms. His electric blue eyes were not only wet but clouded over. I sobbed in my brothers arms for what seemed like a century. I looked up at him I had always loved my brother he was athletic, smart, and popular. Everything I'm not, but today he looked weak and broken. We broke apart and went into the house.
Getting dressed in the unforgiving black clothing is never easy when you're dressing for a person in your life that you loved. You can't make yourself presentable or good enough when your mother just died and your dressing for her funeral. I didn't even bother to put make-up on nothing could hide the red permanent marks of sadness under my clocked eyes. I pulled my hair into a sleek pony tail, remembering when my mother used to do it for me when I was a little girl. I went down stairs this time with remorse not happiness. My brother and father were at the end of the stairs. "Let's go," I murmured. I didn't talk much, for nothing could be said.
The day was murderously painful I never realized how many people had loved my mother now I finally did realize. Lots of people were saying things like, "I'll miss her", "She was a great friend", and the most said was "She died so young". This was defiantly true. I always smiled and nodded I said thank you a lot to. Lots of people asked if I was fine, and I plastered a smile on my face and said fine of course! Anyone who knew me would know I was not fine of course, which was why when I finally saw my group of friends they escorted me outside. I took a deep breath.
"Are you ok?" Nick asked concern stirring in his golden eyes.
"Do you know how hard it is when you host a funeral for someone you love and you have to listen to other people complaining about how hard it was gonna be for them, I'm the one who just lost my mother, my mother won't be at my own wedding, she can't hold my hand when I waiting to see if I'm pregnant, she can't even see me graduate, I lost one of the most important people in my life and people have the nerve to say how hard it's gonna be for them," I said starting to sob, "And people ask if I'm fine, I just lost my mother and they ask me if I'm fine."
"I'm sorry Jessica I know its har-
"Don't even finish that sentence you don't know how hard it is you don't even have the right to be sorry!"
He stopped me by pulling me into his arms. He smelt nice, he was warm to. I relaxed under his grip. Patsy joined in on our hug, so did Johan and Krystal. I cried and felt a strong bond between me and my friends I loved them so much it hurt my heart. I had known them forever, through the good and the bad, and this was the bad and they were right here next to me. I could never imagine life without them.
As soon as I got home I went to my bed and collapsed. I fell asleep until I got a text a quarter to midnight.
Nick: Hey Jez r u still coming?
Ugh she had totally forgot they were gonna go clubbing for Patsy's birth day! She couldn't just say no that would make huge friction between her and Patsy.
ME: Uh yeah pick me up in 30 min ok?
I got a response almost instantly.
Nickoli: whatever
I unzipped my shirt and jeans. I went to my closet and pulled out a nice pair of jeans that I got from True Religion, and a button up blouse. I dressed quickly. I rolled on some eye serum to hide the bags under my eye, I stopped and thought God how am I doing this! I put on shoes, grabbed my pursue and was out the door.
When I got to the car I heard a loud whistle. I opened the car door and climbed in the back. Everyone was already there. The whistle had come from Johan.
"I expected you to bring a box of tissues and your blankie," Patsy said sarcastically.
"But apparently she wants someone else's blankie!" Krystal said. I punched her in the knee. She was wearing a corset and shorts. Pattz was wearing a crop top and a skirt. The guys were wearing their regular clothing.
"Nickie," I said, "Turn on the radio." I smiled. I was dying inside my mom would be so mad if she knew I was doing this!
He grimaced and turned on the radio. Some Korean band named 2ne1 came on and Patsy went crazy, she loves that stuff. "Can't nobody can't nobody hold us down!" She sang. Patsy sang until we got to the club.
We walked right in nobody asked use for our IDs. Some upbeat paramour music was playing. I would usually love the vibe and the atmosphere from this place, all I could think about was my mother and how disappointed she would have been in me. I wiped my sweating palms on my jeans and wiped at my forehead. I went to the bar and sat down be for I could pass out.
Nick cam and sat next to me.
"What's up," He asked me.
"I don't feel right, my mom died a couple days ago and I'm at a club acting as if I'm celebrating!" I said.
"Your mom would want you to be have a good time and not wallowing in despair," He said.
"Nick my mom just died and I'm off partying on the night of her funeral like a war just ende-
He stopped me by pulling me into a kiss. It was a big wet sloppy kiss. It was as if Nick was trying to swallow me. He held me in tight. 'No, this is wrong, this isn't how It's supposed to happen' I thought. I pulled away. I saw the confusion on his face. I felt the heat rush to my face. Suddenly the room was as if it was suffocating me. I felt dampness in my eyes. I sprinted away pushing people out of the way; tears flowed freely down my cheeks.
I got outside and took in a deep breath. The guy I had drooled over since second grade, the guy I thought I loved kissed me and I pulled away. I couldn't party and kiss a guy after my mom had died it's like buying a one way ticket to hell. I leaned against the wall; I slid down it ripping my 200 dollar jeans and cried. I cried and cried. I put my head in my hands. The tears ran dry eventually. I stood up, I swayed a little I leaned me weight on the wall. I unzipped my combat boots and threw them on the ground. I walked to the bus stop and waited for the bus to come. It came in about five minutes. It was a clean bus with an elderly woman as the driver. I gave her a five dollar bill and gave her my location. I sat down and cried some more.
When I got of the stop closest to home I was exhausted. I got off and sang my mom's favorite song as I walked. When I arrived home I saw a police car pulled out front, my dad and brother both on the lawn in their pajamas.
"Ugh what now," I muttered as I walked up to the house. My dad saw me and rushes up to me.
"Jessica where were you, we were worried sick, I wake up and go to your bed room with a hot chocolate and you're not even there!" He yelled at me, he grasped my arms and shook me hard. My father's English accent was as strong as ever but instead of it soothing me it made me want to throw up.
"Uh I uh I went out with my friends f- for Patsy birth day," I stuttered. I was trembling hard under my father's cold grasp. My father's face grew red with anger.
"And you did this on the day of your mother's funeral why?" He yelled in my face. I didn't answer, I looked at him dead in the face, my blue eyes gone grey, I grew up at lot because of my mom dying. I shook off his grasp and walked to the house.
I got to my bed room and peeled off my ripped jeans and tear stain blouse. I didn't even bother to dress for the night. I crawled into bed and felt determined.
When I woke I heard a ruckus going on down stairs. I put on my old favorite jeans and a Paramore T-shirt. I wondered into the restroom. When I looked in the mirror I looked witch like. My light blonde fell in loose curls around my face. My electric blue eyes were grey. I sighed and grabbed a brush from the drawer and brushed my hair once and pulled it into a pony tail. I washed my face my eyes still red and puffy. I walked out of my room and went down stairs. I saw my dad and my grandmother. My grandmother lives in England, but was here for the funeral. I went and sat by them.
"Gran, Dad what's wrong," I said as I sat down.
"I told your grandmother about what happened last night and she has an idea," My dad said he looked every serious I could tell he agreed with the idea. I shifted in my seat very uncomfortable with the situation. I held my head high.
"And what idea is that," I said my voice not wavering. I needed to look strong if I was to fight whatever it was I was fighting.
"We think you should move back to England with me, and go to a boarding school in England, and you don't have a say in the matter, we are to leave next week hopefully you won't get in trouble till then," Grandma Elizabeth says looking even more determine than me.
"You're kidding right, RIGHT!" I say my voice rising with ever word I was out of my chair now, looking at both of their faces. They didn't even blink they must have been expecting this, me freaking out is uncharacteristically common. I felt my world fall apart by the seams. I screamed and stormed upstairs, slamming my door extra hard as I went. I went straight to my suit case and closet and packet everything leaving only enough outfits for the next week. I was done in about an hour, the old me would have protested till I was black and blue, but I knew they weren't budging one this one. The way they held them self's, they had made up their minds. And they weren't going to change. I grabbed my phone.
Group text (Patsy, Nick, Krystal, &Johan): Meet me at the school I have big news.
Yes the old abandoned elementary school. It burnt down some parts were safe and that is always were me and my friends hang out ever since we found it in 5th grade.
I got there in about twenty minutes. They let me take the car once they heard I had packed. I parked the car and climbed out. When I got to the safest class room they were already there. Johan was the first one to talk we were always the closest out of the group.
"What wrong," He said walking to greet me. We hugged quickly, and then I launched into the story. They were all stunned. Krystal squeaked and then threw her head into her hands and sobbed. Patsy comforted her.
"Is there anything we can do," Nick said he had finally after a long while of him being quite. I shook my head. He grabbed my arm.
"There has to be something," He said.
"There isn't," I said I lifted my head and caught my breath. He looked so gorgeous and I have to leave him. I cried in his arms for the longest time. I lifted my head and he kissed me. This time it was a good kiss a sweet kiss. This was the kiss I had dreamed of my whole life. I would never get to kiss him again. I cried some more. We broke apart. The rest of the day was a blur we talked and made plans for my last week and how much we would miss each other and how I could visit over the summer. Then I got a text from my dad saying I should start heading home.
We group hugged and said our good byes' for what seemed like forever but was over far too quickly. I hurried to the car, I dropped my keys. I bent down to pick them up and tears almost took me over, but I forced myself to keep moving.
I drove home I saw a figure in the road and swerved to avoided it. I looked back and saw it was a box. One of the boxes I had used to pack my things. I got out of the car and ran to the box it was very dark so I couldn't see well, but I could tell it wasn't one of my boxes. 'What was I thinking it was so stupid to walk out here alone' I thought. I looked around and ran back to the car. I got home in a heartbeat. I walked up to my room and again didn't bother to dress for the night. I fell asleep with dreams to come.
I was awaken early by an alarm. Last week had pasted so quickly, I got goodbyes from people I didn't know and had quit a few guys confess their undying love for me, so I had a pretty good last week. I clicked my alarm off. Today I was going to England to day my life was gonna change.