Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyers owns the Twilight Saga, I make no profit from this.
A/N: I know this 'what if' has been done before but I wanted to try it. Hope you all enjoy it.
Be happy, that was what the soft whisper of Edward's voice told her. The time with Jacob had made Bella feel better. She thought of her dream, was it really so wrong to give Jacob a chance? No, being with him wouldn't be like it was with Edward; but he could help her become a real person again not some reckless shadow chasing zombie. The empty throb in her chest had slowly ebbed with his help.
As he held her, she had tilled her head and pressed her lips to his shoulder. His body didn't move he was waiting for her next move. His hot skin felt very unique to her, Edward was always so cold she didn't know how she could ever stand it. Bella next moved to his throat, his racing pulse the only sign of life. Finally she came to his lips, just a soft peck.
She pulled away, with a pounding heart and a blush on her cheeks. The look on his face was pure bliss but he quickly brushed the look away only leaving brief smile. "Jacob I'm s-", he cut her off "come on I'll take you inside." She gave him an awkward smile. He let her go and got out of the truck, coming to her side and opened the door. She got out and followed him to her front door. He allowed her to go inside first.
With Charlie at the hospital, they were alone; he closed the door behind himself. She decided to do it before she lost her nerve. She stood on her toes, taking his face in her hands. She kissed his mouth; her left hand went to his shoulder while her right went into his short silky hair. When she suddenly kissed him Jacob lost his balance and fell against the door. Kissing her, Jacob's hands moved to her back. His hands moved quickly down pass her butt toward her thighs, he lifted her up. Bella had let out a little gasp at being lifted and feeling his hot body so closely next to her, she locked her ankles around his waist.
He walked them into the living room; he opened one eye to make sure he didn't trip over anything. He made it to the couch, turning and landing on his back his right knee on the armrest. Jacob thought for a brief second, here is the girl he's been crushing on for a over a year kissing him like no tomorrow, he couldn't believe his luck.
Bella didn't know what got into her, but for the life of her she couldn't stop kissing Jacob. As much as he didn't want to Jacob moved into a seating position, to get more comfortable. Bella had gotten more comfortable by straddling Jacob's thighs.
She was the first to pull away, she looked into his eyes they were darker than usual, dark with a heat that had everything to do with what they were doing. She had her hands on his shoulders; she tentatively rubbed them, seeming to marvel at their strength. She was panting, trying to catch her breath. Warmth coursed through her veins settling into the very core of her being.
He was panting; his rough hands rubbed her sides. He looked at her, her eyes held a heated desire that matched his own. He saw her flushed cheeks and perfect lips, panting like him. His hands slowly slid under her shirt. He took in her surprised expression as he enjoyed her soft warm skin.
She was shocked when she felt Jacob's hot hands on her bare torso. She kissed his mouth; her tongue touched his lips, asking for entrance. He willing opened his mouth, their tongues slowly slid across each other. Bella thought his taste was indescribable; whatever it was it was quite savory to her. Jacob thought her taste was the sweetest thing ever. They parted to breath; the space between them was hotter than before.
Jacob's hands went higher, caught up in the moment Bella allowed him to take her shirt off. She shyly tried to cover herself, "you're hot" Jacob rushed out. "Thanks" was her muttered reply. Bella kind of liked being called hot; no one had ever called that. It had always been nice, cute, pretty, and beautiful but never hot.
She kissed him again, moving to the right side of his jaw then down his neck. She inhaled his scent it was like pine trees and damp soil. She moved down to his chest, kissing his right nipple then the left. The pleasure went right to his loins, causing him to thrust his hips into Bella. She moaned into Jacob's skin at the contact.
She pulled back, her skin tinted pink, and she had licked her lips savoring the taste of Jacob's skin. Jacob busied himself by rubbing his palms on Bella's back and torso. Jacob kissed Bella, he moved to just below her right ear. He could smell her skin, he smelled past the saltwater to the very essence of her scent. Jacob went to her neck and kissed it then lightly bit down where he had kissed her. The action sent more heat through Bella's body. When Jacob was done he looked at her neck; she'd have a mark, Jacob smirked at the thought.
Bella couldn't believe that Jacob gave her a love bite. But she did like it; she thought maybe she'd give him one. She did exactly that leaning in; smelling his musk her lips touched his neck. Feeling his thundering pulse she trailed soft kisses from that spot to his shoulder then back again. Letting her curiosity get the better of her she slipped her tongue out and licked that spot.
The feel of Bella's tongue on his neck was such a surprise that Jacob moaned loudly. More heat settled into his lower stomach. Then he felt a sharp pain as she suddenly bit down on his neck. He bucked his hips into her so strongly that he thought he hurt her when she squealed all of a sudden. Bella didn't know she could have that effect on Jacob, she liked that she did.
Jacob started to let his hands wander, his left hand caressed her side while his right hand stopped on her lace covered breast. Jacob's mind thought back to his inexperience with girls. He dated and kissed a girl from his class, five months before Bella showed up. It wasn't serious and she wanted to date someone else so they broke up. What he and Bella were doing right now was the most he'd ever done with a girl.
As a healthy young man he wasn't completely innocent with his thinking when it came to girls either. And the pack mind only made it worse; it gave him more things to think about late at night. He knew what all the guys did with their girlfriend which was very embarrassing for him to know. He still had trouble looking Leah or Emily in the eye because of what they shared with Sam.
He also had a few magazines; there was more than one night of dreams of Bella, naked and posed like one of the magazine girls. But all of that was nothing compared to right now. Bella kissing him, touching him, and letting him touch her. The little mewling sounds she was making drove him on with his hand on her breast.
With his hand on her, she kissed his mouth. His tongue slid across her lips and she opened her mouth so he could taste her. Bella's hands moved across Jacob's sides and back. Her smooth hands were greedily moving on his hot flesh. The hand that was on her side moved toward her rear, he pulled her lower half against him. Meanwhile the hand on her breast gently caressed her sensitive skin. The hot, rough stimulation caused Bella to ground her hips against Jacob, he groaned out loud.
Just than Jacob gently pushed Bella away, "There's a vampire here." Bella tensed up then stood up, quickly putting her shirt on. As a loud whoosh, slamming car door, and screeching tires were heard. Bella and Jacob raced out the door just as a black car was quickly turning the corner on the street. As they stood there not saying anything Bella spoke up, "you know he once called me his own brand of heroin, but I think we were each other's." Jacob turned to her with a questioning look on his face. "Well think about it, we were so focused on each other and I pretty much blocked out everyone that wasn't him or his family and when he left I fell apart, my zombie state was like a withdrawal for me."
Jacob nodded understanding completely. In his mind it made sense, that the vampire's 'love' was like an addiction and the false promise of immortality only sweetened the deal. He decided to change the subject. "Hey Bella about…." He jerked his head toward the house. "You know it doesn't have to go any further than that okay? I can wait forever for more." I hope, he added mentally.
Bella smiled, "thanks Jacob, while I loved what we did, I'm not ready to go all the way yet." There was a slight blush on Bella's cheeks as she said this. Jacob smiled at seeing her blush, "sure I understand I should go it's getting late. I'll see you later." He hugged her and kissed her forehead, "bye Jacob." He hugged her again, then he ran into the woods not wanting phase, there was no way he was going to share what he just experienced with Bella with anyone else just yet.
Bella went into the house and locked the door behind her. She decided to take a shower, so her dad wouldn't know about her cliff diving adventure she had. She tossed her clothes into the washer with some towels then went upstairs. In her room Bella put on her red bathrobe that her mother had given her, for her birthday the year before. She went into the bathroom and turned the water on hot just like she liked it.
Stepping in the shower felt good to her chilled skin. She massaged shampoo into her hair, thinking about the differences between Jacob and Edward. Edward made her heart skip a beat, if she chose him she would be immortal but her endless life would be empty of anything real. Every few years she and the rest of the family would have to move she could never have her parents close to her or have any friends, it would be an eternity of loneliness. It would come to a point where she would even hate Edward for taking her life away, and she didn't want to have regrets when it was too late.
Jacob on the other hand would be very different; he made her heart race, her made feel alive, she could have an actual life with him. The way Jacob made her feel, she only felt that way once before. When she was 15 years old, she was walking home from the store and saw him. A few guys were playing basketball in an outdoor court; it was late spring and already hot out so some of them had their shirts off. She stopped to watch them, her teenage hormones getting the best of her.
They had taken a break to drink some water, she watched as a guy in white basketball shorts took a drink. He had a healthy tan and lean muscles that gleamed with sweat. As he joked with his buddies she noticed that he had piercing blue eyes. She thought he might have been in college or something the he looked. She watched him as he poured water on his head to cool down. He let it drop from his short curly blond hair and run down his neck and on to his chest.
She imagined herself walking up to him, talking to him, and even kissing him. Watching him and her own thoughts made her feel warm all over and she blushed. The guy noticed that he was being watched; he looked her right in the eye and winked at her. When she was caught she blushed more and nearly ran out of embarrassment. She heard his deep laughter as she left. Now Jacob made feel that way.
She finished her shower and went to her room to get some clothes on. She threw on a pair of dark purple sweat pants and a t-shirt from her old school. She noticed the hickey on her neck, as she combed her hair she made sure that she covered it, she really didn't want her dad to see it.
She heard the front door open and ran downstairs to greet him. Just as she came down the final step, her dad pulled her into an uncommon hug. As he held her tight she hugged him back. Feeling even guiltier for what she did earlier. Letting go she saw that he'd been crying. "You must be hungry dad?" she thought that he probably hadn't eaten and that he needed to now. He thought about it, "I could eat." They walked into the kitchen and Charlie sat at the table, while Bella went to look in the fridge. She microwaved two pieces of leftover casserole for them, making sure they were heated all the way through before eating.
As they ate in silence Bella finally spoke up; "dad if you need anything let me know, okay?" He nodded when his mouth was full. "And I'll tell Sue, Leah, and Seth the same thing the next time I see them." He swallowed, "I'm sure they'll appreciate that."
They finished their food; Charlie put his plate in the sink. "I'll be going back to the hospital to check on Sue, I'll see you tomorrow when I get home." Bella stood up, "I'll come with you." He shook his head, "no I appreciate the thought, but you should stay here. You look dog tired, you should get some sleep."
Bella hugged him tight, mumbling "okay if you so" into his shoulder. As he let her go she suddenly felt very tired, like she could sleep for days. "Bye dad," he gave her a small smile, "bye Bella goodnight." She put her plate into the sink, "good night I love you dad," she said as the door closed, he answered with his own "I love you." She washed the few dishes there were and put them away. She noticed the washing machine had stopped so she put her clothes and towels in the dryer and turned it on, she'd deal them in the morning.
She made sure the door was locked before going upstairs to bed. She crawled into bed, pulled the covers over her, and snuggled into her pillows. For the first time in months she didn't dread sleep or any possible dreams she might have. As sleep took its hold on her, she fell into a dream.
In the dream she was walking in the forest without any fear. At the sound of rustling leaves she turned to see a giant russet wolf. It gave her a goofy grin with tongue hanging out; she giggled and walked over to him. She gave him a big hug around his neck, she breathed in his woodsy scent. She felt at peace for the first time in a long time. Suddenly she heard the words "be happy" being whispered from nowhere, and she truly thought she could be.
To be continued…
A/N: I would really appreciate some feedback on this, even if you didn't like it. Thank you for reading.