SWIFTPAW
I've always wanted to become a great, respected warrior. I wanted to sleep in the warrior den and catch my own food. I wanted my mentor to be proud of me.
I wanted to lead patrols, and keep my silent vigil guarding my Clan at night. Heck, I even let my imagination run and pictured myself leading ThunderClan as Swiftstar.
But to have a life as good as that, I had to prove myself to Bluestar and become a warrior. For some reason, my warrior ceremony was being delayed… for a long time.
Cloudpaw had his warrior ceremony before us, and became Cloudtail. Just thinking about that unjust had made my fur bristle. Does Bluestar not think we're good enough? I'd been training many moons longer then Cloudtail, and yet he gets his warrior ceremony first? And wasn't just me… Brightpaw and Thornpaw had been training longer, too! And besides, Cloudtail got to skip a moon of training because he'd been captured by Twolegs.
After Cloudtail's ceremony, all us apprentices had a mini Gathering in the den. I explained to them that the whole thing was unfair. I tried to get them to understand that it wasn't right for Cloudtail to become a warrior while we were working longer and just as hard.
I said that we should do something brave and heroic, so Bluestar will stop treating us like kits and start taking us more seriously. At that moment, the biggest trouble was the mysterious enemy that was taking prey from the forest. I had noticed that most of the dead prey was found at Snakerocks, and suggested that we should find a trail there.
In the end, only Brightpaw had supported me. I was glad for the company. While Cloudtail sat vigil, we snuck through some ferns behind the elders' den.
I ran along determinedly, and as we neared Snakerocks I could feel the atmosphere change into something menacing. Brightpaw began to slow uncertainly, and I admit-- I had doubts, too. But I kept on running, because warriors are supposed to be brave.
"Swiftpaw! Be careful!" Brightpaw hissed behind me.
I rolled my eyes good-naturedly, and looked back at her. "Don't worry!" I called encouragingly, "There's nothing here!"
No sooner were the words out of my mouth, I heard a rustle to my right, and something clamped down hard on my throat, and dragged me upwards. I let out a caterwaul of surprise and fear, and began wrenching myself around in a vain attempt to escape.
It was the jaws of something big, I realized. I could feel its hot breath dampen my neck fur, and I felt like I was suffocating. It's teeth- hard as bones and sharp as thorns- kept a firm grip on me no matter how hard I scratched.
Then I began to shake back and forth. I could feel the rumbling of excited growls vibrating my body, making my head rattle. The only thing I could see was the blur of Snakerocks around me. Is Brightpaw okay? The question popped in my mind again and again.
Just when I thought it would never end, the attacker hurled me aside like old moss. I smacked against the ground, and momentarily lost my breath. Part of me wanted to stay on the ground, but I knew I couldn't do that.
Once I gathered myself, I stood up shakily and felt blood drain out of my body. To add to that, my neck had cramps like you wouldn't believe! To my relief, Brightpaw pelted over to me. She looked unharmed.
I turned around to see my enemy. Once my eyes laid on the beast, I was positive it was a warrior of TigerClan. Then I took a closer look. From the saliva that streamed down it's jaws and the sleek look of it's pelt, I could see it was a dog. Not just any dog though! Forget the scrawny excuses for mutts that the Twolegs carry around, this was a monster dog.
Brightpaw crouched down beside me as the dog charged, and when it was no more than a mouse-length away, she sliced it's face with her claws. The dog howled in pain, and I began to feel good. We could fight this thing off!
My moment of relief was drowned as five more monster dogs crept into the clearing. They made a single file line, and glared at us harshly. My blood turned turn to solid ice, and began working its way painfully through me. "Pack, pack! Kill, kill!" they all roared. When I heard that, some part of me realized that they would be getting what they wanted.
Brightpaw whimpered in terror next to me, but when they hurled themselves forward, she was ready for battle.
In the flurry of the world around me, I could feel my claws dig in the thin but hard pelts of dogs; their fangs slicing into me in return. I could smell their rotten stench around me, rubbing in my fur. I could taste their reeking blood as I bit into them. I could hear their harsh, blaring bark that seemed to blast out my eardrums. But all I saw was red.
After what seemed like a lifetime of battle, pain, and torture, I saw an opening from in-between a dog's legs, and dashed through them. I headed for a tree and successfully clung to it. Was StarClan on my side?
As I began to squirm my way up though, a massive paw swatted me off. It felt like all the hope I'd ever had in my life was being cruelly squashed in front of me. A giant dog pinned me down to the ground, and I wondered if it was really the will of StarClan to have a cat die this way.
I glanced to the left and saw Brightpaw, but the condition she was in made my stomach churn. A dog was holding her by her scruff while she hissed and clawed the air. The beast threw her on the ground, and fastened his teeth on her head, then yanked backwards. Half her face ripped off before my eyes, and I could do nothing but flinch helplessly.
When I heard Brightpaw scream in agony, it felt like the whole world came crashing down on me. The sound alone made my heart break ten times over with guilt. Because of me, this innocent cat was being torn apart alive. It's my fault she's in pain. Despite all the hurt and suffering I had just went through, I could tell you easily that seeing Brightpaw being ripped open in front of me was the worse thing that ever happened to me. The guilt... it hurt so much.
I looked back up at the dog, suddenly remembering my position. It just glared at me for a heartbeat, it's eyes cold and it's jaws quavering. It growled out a deafening bark and it's teeth flashed in my direction. Then my vision was clouded by blood.
When I opened my eyes, the clearing was empty. Fur and blood… everywhere. I spotted Brightpaw not far away, limp on the ground, wounds and all.
Fresh guilt washed over me. How could this happen? I looked up at the black sky. Suddenly a single star glimmered brightly, then seemed to sink down to the earth. I jumped back in surprise as it gradually turned into a cat.
The cat stood before me gracefully, stars glimmering in it's fur. It was a lean tabby tom. The looks of the cat was so familiar, yet so different.
"Runningwind?" I whimpered, feeling my body freeze in place.
"Yes. Come on, Swiftpaw. It's time to go to StarClan," he murmured gently, looking at me with sympathetic eyes.
"No," I declined, a lump growing in my throat.
Runningwind gestured for me to look back. I turned around and saw myself lying on the ground. I began to wail like a kit as I saw the gashes in my body, the frozen snarl on my face. I backed away, uncertain whether to run or not.
"I'm so sorry, Swiftpaw. No cat should ever have to live through what you just experienced. StarClan honors your bravery and strength," Runningwind meowed.
"What about Brightpaw?" I whined as I padded over to join him.
"Brightpaw will not be joining StarClan right now. She still has a long life ahead of her," came the reply.
That began to cheer me up. At least I'm the one who died. This was all my fault; it should never have happened. If I could have just been patient and smarter, like Thornpaw, maybe this would have never happened.
I watched over Brightpaw in Cinderpelt's den while she was recovering. When she received the name Lostface, I could feel her misery and anguish weigh down on my heart even in StarClan. And when she looked at herself for the first time in the puddle, I mourned with her.
Only when she became Brightheart did I feel her gain her spirit back. I had Cloudtail to thank for that; he revived her. If it had not been for him, I would still be gazing down at a broken cat. Thanks, Cloudtail.
And Brightheart… I'm so sorry. If you could ever forgive me… It would surely ease this pain.
But until then, I'll be waiting for you in StarClan.