Sequel To It's Not Easy Being Blue

Wow, I can't believe it's been over four months since I last wrote. I'll try to catch you up on what's happened. For one I've started writing in this journal again because my psyche doc thinks I'm evil or something. In my defence though, it's hard to be sane when you live in a house full of lunatics.

I'm not sure what Joe is trying to prove, but it's not working. Every night he goes out "clubbing" and comes home smelling like somone dumped a bottle of perfume on him. I think he wants us to believe that he's actually seeing someone, but I'm not buying it. I bet he just goes to the perfume samples part of Macy's and rubs those little cards on himself.

And of course, you can't forget about playing blues clues with him. Just a week ago he came up with the Tango, and ever since, he's been taking dance lessons-at home. It's like watching a cat try to fly. Unfortunately nobody has the heart to tell him he sucks, and I can't speak his language.

Let's see, what else has happened? Oh yeah, shovel and pail are seeing other people now, but they look miserable. One day they will realize that they are meant for each other, but not today. It's really been hard on them lately because a rainstorm completely destroyed their sandcastle and they don't really have anywhere to go.

I lost my best friend the other day. You know that bar of soap? Well he finally got all used up. I told him not to have so many bubble baths, but did he listen? NO!! Now I'm stuck with Salt as my best friend. Speaking of which, Peprika was almost knocked over yesterday. Salt and Pepper are pretty shaken up about it. Get it, shaken up??

You know how Magenta was taken by animal contorol? Well it turns out the new neighboors took her home and she now visits every day. Yay for me. :(

Now that you're all caught up, I can continue to write about today. Joe bought a radio today. I actually don't mind it, but I think it's for his Tango practice which still sucks.

I have the biggest headache today. In fact, this day has really sucked so far. It's raining really hard so I can't go out. Joe was out all day though because he was weeding the garden. This is what forces him to have a fake girlfriend. He's also decided not to shave for two weeks, and I just know this is going to turn out bad.

I woke up in the middle of the night to an obnoxious sound, and i immediately knew who it was. Or should I say "whooooooooom" it was.

"Helloooooo Blooooooo"

"I thought you got hit by a car."

"Nooooooooo. That was my cousin, Alaparoooooooo!"

"So what have you been up to?"

"Shopping!!!! Ha ha ha ha ha!! Is funny because owls no shop."

"Well good for you. Now if you don't mind, I'm going back inside."

"Okay. Ha ha ha ha ha. Is funny because is not expected from an owl."

One day I will get my revenge on that owl. One day...

I am not all right. I found out what Joe does on Friday nights. He goes Speed Dating at the local grocery shop. Are you freaking kidding me??? SPEED DATING???? This guy is so lame!! No wonder he has no human friends! I don't even think he has a job. No wait, he sells steaks out of his car trunk. Why did I end up with this guy? He doesn't even feed me!

Today is a great day for our little house. Shovel and Pail are back together again!!! I knew this breakup wouldn't last long. We spent all day celebrating, and even Joe pitched in. They've already started rebuilding an even better house!!! I am so happy for them.

Great news! Joe went to the store today and got a new bar of soap! This guy is hilarious. He has the best stories of being made. Apparently there is a lot of drama in a bar of soaps life. I never asked our old soap about any drama, and now I regret that. I really miss him.

It's been one week of Joe not shaving, and it's like living with a bear. I don't mean that he just looks like a bear, but he like is a bear! He has no manors, he smells bad, and he eats anything he can find. We're all trying to convince him to shave, but he's not listening.

Today is my borthday. I'm seven years old, and I feel like crap. Like I want to punch everyone I see in the face! Joe got me a new toy, but it's a piece of crap. You squeeze it and it says, "Aren't you a good doggy woggy." It's very depressing.

After I read that last entry to my doctor, she freaked! Then, she started asking me all of these questins about my insurance, and if I was getting a good 401K, or if I was depressed. Sometimes I just don't understand that lady.

It has now officially been two weeks since Joe stopped shaving. It's actually quite disturbing. He's gone from weird, to bear, to full blown cave-man. He's always grunting, and he never showers. I guess having a beard makes him not want to use deoderant either. As you know, Joe is possibly some form of evil and loves to torture me, so he has started making me wear a rediculousely large and painful collar.

That's all for now. Ill write more later.