This is a rewrite of a particular scene from The Girl In Question.
The fic came to me as soon as I heard Illyria say a particular line.
Disclaimer: Angel is owned by Joss Whedon and David Greenwalt.
Illyria stood there, still in the form of Fred Burkle, wondering why she sensed such resentment coming from Wesley Wyndham-Pryce, the ex-Watcher who was studying her for the past several weeks. She saw Fred's memories flashing in her mind. Past quarrels with Wesley as a form of flirtation.
She followed Wesley into an unused office space.
"Wes?" She called after him in Fred's voice. "Are you, like... mad at me or something?"
Wesley turned to look at her. Cold anger dripped from his voice. "Stop it."
She took a few steps closer to him and smiled at him, hoping that the sweet twang of Fred's voice would soothe Wesley out of his angered state. "Isn't it what you desire? I mean... you love me, I love you. What's the big deal?"
Wesley gritted his teeth. "I loved her."
Illyria's low voice returned. "You loved this." She fingered the skirt of her dress. "And part of you still does. I can feel it in you." She looked up at him, affirming the desire in his eyes. "I... wish to explore it further."
Illyria wasn't sure exactly what she meant when those words came out of her mouth. It was as if there were still echos of Fred inside of her. What else would explain the humanity that poured out of her? The ones she used to know would smell it reeking from her: compassion, being considerate of others...longings that went beyond mere lust and desire for physical conjugation.
Wesley shook his head, unable to process what he saw in front of him. "No. Not you...Not like this. It sickens me."
Illyria chuckled using Fred's voice and wrapped her arms around Wesley's neck. "Oh, Lord. We both know that ain't true."
She shifted back into her low, ice-cold voice. "After all, more tests might lead to knowledge of how to help me function. You said so yourself."
Wesley took a breath. His days of Watcher training flashed in his mind. The first lesson a watcher learns is to separate truth from illusion. Because in the world of magics, it's the hardest thing to do. The truth is that Fred is gone. To pretend anything else would be a lie.
"We will look into this later. For now, change back. Be blue. Be anything. Don't be her. Not right now."
She folded her arms and pouted. A memory from Fred's past flashed in Illyria's mind. The memory was of a movie Fred watched, one that had a protagonist with a name identical to the ex-Watcher's and a particular line from the movie that Fred considered to be her favorite. She leaned her head back and morphed back into her original state.
"As you wish."
She used the weight of her body to keep Wesley firmly in place as her lips pressed against his. At first, he kept his eyes open, focusing on the fact that Illyria was back in her true blue form, but the feel of her lips, the weight of her body pressed against his, the softness of the kiss was all Fred's. His eyes closed as he wrapped his arms around Illyria.
He imagined himself kissing Fred like they did mere weeks ago. The years of longing he felt for her poured out of him as he deepened the kiss. Illyria's lips felt soft and pliant, such a contrast to the icy harsh tone of her voice, but the way she held him was not as gentle as Fred's touch. Her embrace was more curious, yet somewhat dominating, as if she was marking her territory. Finally, the need for oxygen gave in and Wesley pushed himself off of her.
"Did that not please you?" Illyria asked.
"It definitely...pleased me. I just needed to breathe. You're very…" Wesley searched for the right word that wouldn't anger or sadden the former god-king. "...assured when you kiss."
"If I was forceful towards you, I apologize." Illyria said matter-of-factly. "I used to have thousands of suitors at my feet. I dominated my pets as we mated. I never had to act submissively."
Wesley nodded. "I think you're right. We'll need to explore this further. Do some...tests."
For the first time in forever, Illyria saw a genuine smile on Wesley's face. "So what do you want now?"
Wesley closed his eyes. He wasn't sure where this would lead or if this was the right thing to do. But his heart didn't care much for that anymore.
"Lie to me, Illyria."
Illyria changed back into Fred and leaned in close. "As you wish, my Wesley."
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