Jeff glanced over at Annie as he drove his car, wrinkling his nose at the abundant smell of coconut. "You know I'm never going to get that smell out of my car."
Annie scoffed as she continued rubbing sunscreen into her face, neck, arms and bare shoulders. "At least I'm being safe."
"How much are you using anyway?"
"I have fair skin. I'd think you'd want some. So you don't risk ruining your appearance to sun damage."
"I never said I'm not going to use it. But we're in a car, not lounging by Pierce's pool."
Annie ignored Jeff as she continued applying her sunscreen. As Jeff drove he looked back at Annie as she pulled her legs up into herself. He attempted to look nonchalant as she started rubbed sunscreen into her bare skin. "Don't get any on your shorts."
"I know what I'm doing Jeff," she said with a grin. Jeff tried not to look at her as she slid her delicate hands up and down her bare legs. She really has a habit of looking incredibly sexy without even trying, he thought. He breathed a sigh of relief when she was finally finished and put her legs down. She brushed some hair behind her ear as she put on a Colorado Rockies baseball hat she had borrowed from Jeff. As soon as Annie dropped her hands Jeff grabbed the hat and turned it around so the brim was in the back.
"Jeff!" She turned it back before scoffing at him. "Can you not be immature?"
"I'm immature? I'm not the one who practically jumped up and down and yelled 'I'll go I'll go' when I asked if anyone wanted to go pick up fireworks with me."
"I wanted to get out of setting up for the party."
"Wait, Annie Edison actually wanted to avoid doing work? Did we stumble into bizarro world?"
"So I wanted to be lazy and just have fun and relax for once," she said as she shrugged nonchalantly.
"I'm not complaining. I'm just surprised because it rarely happens."
"What? Me having fun?"
"You willingly getting out of doing work. Though it's a nice change the rare times it happens."
Annie smiled before frowning in annoyance. "I also needed to get away from Troy and Abed for a while."
"Trouble in paradise?" Jeff said in a mocking tone.
"Abed decided to borrow one of my cardigans for one of his movies. Not only did they go into my room without permission and take something of mine, which I've TOLD them several times never to do, but they got fake blood all over it."
"I'd hate to be on the receiving end of that blowout."
"It wasn't pretty. Anyway, I just needed to get away from them for a bit."
They sat in comfortable silence as they playfully fought for dominance over the radio (with the possible exception of Abed, Annie was the only one Jeff would let touch his radio). After about twenty minutes they suddenly heard a loud hissing sound, followed by thick smoke coming out of the hood.
"Damn it!" Jeff slowed the car down and pulled over to the side of the road. They got out and popped the hood open, coughing as black smoke engulfed them.
Annie peered around him to see what was happening. "What is it?"
"I don't know. I'm not exactly a car expert." He waited until the engine cooled a bit before reaching in to feel for any loose components. "Spark plugs in place. Though I'm not sure if it's damaged or not." He fiddled around with some wires and hoses before handing Annie the keys. "Here, see what happens."
Annie got in and started the engine. Instantly they heard a bang and white smoke started billowing. "Turn it off, turn it off!" Annie quickly turned the engine off and got out of the car. "Yea, whatever this is it's beyond my knowledge. You don't know anything about car engines, do you?"
"No. My engine is the one part of my car that actually works. So what do we do now?"
"We'll just call someone and have them pick us up." He took out his phone, only to frown when he looked at it. "I'm not getting a signal. Try yours."
Annie dug her phone out of her shorts and looked at it also. "No, I'm not getting anything either."
"Ok, now maybe we should start getting concerned."
"Stop trying to freak me out Jeff!"
"I'm not trying-." He took a few deep breaths before calming down. "Ok, let's just assess the situation. We still have a hour or so of day light. Let's just find a phone and call someone, ok?"
"All right." As they started walking Annie looked around the rural landscape. "Two people alone on a deserted road. This can't end well."
"Wow. After everything you've been through I'd think you can handle a small breakdown better."
"I've seen a lot of horror movies since I moved in with Troy and Abed. This is a classic set up."
"Well don't worry. If anything happens I'll protect you."
"Ok," she said part sarcastically, part sincerely. "How do you know I won't be the one to protect you?"
"Because you're tiny and get distracted by cute things."
She scoffed as she shoved his shoulder. "Jeff, I spent two years living in a really scary neighborhood. And I've taken self defense classes. I think I have better survival instincts then you do mister."
"If that's the case then why are you freaking out over walking down a road?"
"I never said I wasn't nervous. I'm just saying if something were to happen, I might be better at handling it then you."
"Sure, keep telling yourself that."
Annie rolled her eyes as they continued walking down the deserted road. As they walked she rubbed the back of her neck, feeling the sun beating down on her. The temperature was well into the nineties and she was started to sweat pretty badly. She looked up at Jeff, who was wiping the sweat from his brow. "Bet you wish you had used some of my sunscreen now." She lowered the brim of her hat before Jeff reached over and turned it around. "Jeff, stop doing that!" She started to turn it back when she lowered her hands in annoyed curiosity. "Why do you keep turning it around anyway?"
Jeff was quiet as he debated whether or not to say anything. Before he could stop himself he said "Because I like seeing your face and I don't like it when it's hidden."
Her eyes widened as she looked at Jeff. That was the last answer she ever expected to hear. Jeff looked back at her, uncomfortable with how openly honest he was being. She placed a hand out to stop him from walking. She looked up at him, again feeling those feelings she kept telling herself weren't there. Just as he started to lean down towards her lips she stopped him as she noticed something. "Jeff, look."
Jeff turned around, seeing a dirt driveway. As they looked at it they saw a man approach the entrance. He had salt and pepper hair and looked to be about a few years younger than Pierce. The mystery man put down his tackle box as he looked at Jeff and Annie. "You folks need some help or something?"
"Yea. Our car broke down and we need to call someone to pick us," Jeff said.
The mystery man rubbed his chin before picking up the box. "Why don't you two come in the house and I can see about helping yea."
As the man started walking Annie looked at Jeff. "What do you think?"
"I think you may have something about this being a horror movie."
Annie instinctively took hold of Jeff's hand as they followed the gentleman up the driveway to an old fashioned looking house with a front porch. He swung open the screen door as Jeff and Annie followed him inside. ""Irene! We have guests."
A middle aged woman walked out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on an apron. "Oh, hello. Welcome to our home. I'm Irene, and this is my husband Lester."
"I'm Annie. And this is Jeff. We wanted to know if we could use your phone, please," Annie asked.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Irene said apologetically. "I'm afraid we don't have a phone."
"Yup," Lester said. "Cell phones don't work out here. And the land line's been down since that storm came through here last month."
"Ok. Do you know where we can find a mechanic?" Jeff asked.
"I know a real good one couple miles from here. Honest and really knows his stuff. But he closed today. You'll be hard pressed finding someone open on the fourth." His eyes grew sympathetic at the worried look on Jeff and Annie's faces. "Listen, I can see you two are in a pickle. So why don't you two stay here tonight."
"Oh no."
"We couldn't-."
"It's no trouble," Lester said. "We don't have much, but you're welcome to what we have. There's a fold out couch in the living room you can take Anne. And Jeffrey, you can either bunk with our son Ray Ray or-."
"Actually, we'd prefer to sleep in the same place," Jeff said as he moved next to Annie.
Lester frowned as he looked at them. "I understand that things are different with young people now a days. But I wouldn't feel comfortable with a unmarried couple-."
"But we are married," Jeff said as he took hold of Annie's hand.
"A ha," Annie said as she vigorously nodded her head.
"Oh, well then of course you two can stay together in the same room. It'd be silly for a married couple not to," Lester said.
Irene smiled as she looked at Jeff and Annie. "So how long have you two been married?"
Jeff said "Six months" just as Annie said "A year." Jeff loudly cleared his throat before saying "What we mean is, we've been married for a year, but we're so happy that it feels like the time has just flown by."
"Oh!" Irene brought a hand to her mouth as her eyes started tearing up. "I think I'm gonna cry."
"Well lets have dinner first before you turn on the waterworks." The three of them followed Lester into the dining room (which had been set up with a thanksgiving like feast) where he ran a large bell. "Let me just get a couple more chairs for our guests."
As he left the room they heard someone run up a flight of stairs, followed by a young man with a wispy goatee that looked about Britta's age entering the room. "Ma, you know I don't like being disturbed when I'm working on-." He paused as he looked at Jeff and Annie. "Who are they?"
"Ray Ray, this is Anne and Jeffrey. Their car broke down, so they'll be staying with us until they get it repaired tomorrow."
Ray Ray nodded at Jeff before setting his sights on Annie. "Hi," he said in a sing song quality.
"I'm married," Annie quickly said.
"She's my wife," Jeff quickly followed up with.
"Oh." Ray Ray frowned in disappointment as Lester came back in with two extra chairs. He set them around the table before everyone sat down.
"Well Jeffrey, Anne, before we eat we always say grace. As head of the house I usually say it, but because you two are our guests one of you can do the honors."
They looked at each other before Jeff said "That's ok, you can do it."
"No no I insist. You two say grace right? Or are you one of those religions that don't do that?"
"I'd say…the latter," Annie said.
Lester looked at them for a moment before simply shrugging. "Well, that's fine. You know what they say, To Eats Their Own."
They both started nodding before frowning in confusing. "What?"
"You know, live and let live. It's ok if someone's different then you."
"I think you mean To Each Their Own," Jeff said.
"Yea, that's what I said. To Eats Their Own." Jeff and Annie glared at each other as Lester and his family held hands and bowed their heads. Annie took hold of Jeff's and Irene's hand, with Jeff (after Annie gave him a pointed look) taking hold of Ray Ray's hand. They bowed their heads as Lester began. "Dear God, we're here to give thanks for our wonderful Fourth of July feast. This is a special day, since it commemorates when our family came over here on the Mayflower to begin a better life." Annie and Jeff opened their eyes and gave each other a 'is this guy for real' look as Lester continued. "As always watch over me and my wife and son. And the chickens. We have two guests joining us tonight, Jeffrey and Anne. Watch over them, and see that they return home safely. And if they have children, please see that their offspring aren't born with a tail, like cousin Cletus's son had. Amen."
Jeff and Annie shared a quick look as the food started being served. They helped themselves as Ray Ray stared at Annie. "I do art. I do my paintings in the basement."
"Yes, Ray Ray sure spends a lot of time working on his art," Irene said.
"That's nice. What kind of art do you do?" Annie politely asked.
Instead of answering Ray Ray looked at Annie for several moments. "Where's your ring? Because married women have rings. And I couldn't help but notice that you don't have one on your slender lovely fingers."
As Annie sat there shock still Jeff quickly reached over and placed his hand over hers. "Well actually, it's a funny story. We were reenacting when I proposed to her, which was at state park-."
"Which state park?" Ray Ray asked
Before Jeff could stumble Annie blurted out 'Colorado state forest."
"Yea, that's it," Jeff said. "Anyway, we were on a hill when I dropped to one knee and proposed to my now lovely wife. Well when I was putting it on her finger I dropped it. And we spend a good ten minutes laughing while we looked for it. So today I tried to recreate that moment by those hills around here. But this time when I dropped the ring it fell in a hole."
"Oh that's terrible," Irene said.
"Yea. But as long as we have each other that's all that matters," Annie said as she smiled at Jeff.
"Here here," Lester said as he raised his glass. "I always say you don't need much, as long as you have love. That and chickens."
"Um yea. Thanks," Jeff said. He took a bite of his pheasant before he started gagging. Annie quickly slapped his back hard as Jeff spit out a bullet. "What the…?"
"OH!" Jeff looked up as the family started becoming very excited. "You found the bullet that brought us dinner," Lester said. "That's good luck."
XXXXXXXXXXXX
Several hours later Jeff and Annie found themselves laying on a lumpy fold out bed in the living room. They were both still in their clothes, since they didn't have sleep clothes and neither wanted to touch the linens anymore then they had to. The sheets looked like they hadn't been washed in years. Annie had her legs propped up on Jeff's to try and protect them from the questionable sheets. They would have probably have had a hard time falling asleep under any circumstances. But since they had gone to bed all they had heard was loud banging coming from the basement.
Jeff glanced over at the closed basement door before looking over at Annie. "What do you think he's doing in there?"
"I don't know. But it's definitely not painting."
"Why don't you go down there and ask him. I'm sure he'd love to tell you."
Before Annie could roll her eyes she froze as she heard a coyote howl in the distance. A few moments later the staircase creaked as they heard someone come down from the second floor. Jeff instinctively pulled Annie into him, both of them closing their eyes as Lester tip toed past them and opened the screen door. "Oh now. The coyotes are at it again." Just then a coyote howled, followed by Lester loudly howling back at them.
As Lester and the coyote howled at each other Jeff felt Annie shake in his arms. At first he was afraid she was shaking from fright. He opened his eyes a crack to look at her, only to see that she was shaking from trying to keep herself from laughing out loud. As a snort escaped her Jeff quickly covered her mouth as he pressed his lips tightly together to keep from laughing himself.
After what felt like an eternity Lester finally closed the screen door and walked back upstairs. They managed to hold it in until he closed his bedroom door. Then it roared out of them like an explosion. They both laughed uproariously, screeching like hyenas on laughing gas. They finally forced themselves to stop when their stomachs started to hurt.
"Ok, that does it. That's first place in the contest of weirdest thing to happen today," Jeff said as he pulled himself together.
"This makes Greendale almost seem normal," Annie said as she wiped the tears of laughter out of her eyes. She sighed as she looked at Jeff. "Bet you're wishing you never volunteered to get those fireworks now."
"It could be worse. At least we'll have an interesting story to tell when we get back," he said as he ran his fingers through her hair. "I will say that the company is what's made this whole thing almost fun."
Annie stiffened slightly at that one. "Well, Lester and Ray Ray definitely are entertaining," she said, trying to feel out what he actually meant.
"I wasn't talking about them. Or Irene." He turned her head until he was looking into her eyes. "This whole experience would have been a disaster if I had been with anyone else. But with you it's not bad. With you…I like being with you. You make things better. Even when you drive me crazy."
Annie chuckled as she looked at Jeff. "I like being with you too. Even when you make me want to scream." She smiled as she looked down at her bare hand. "You're lucky you came up with that story. Because it does look bad when a wife doesn't have a ring."
"I'd like to think if I did propose, I wouldn't be that stupid and drop the ring."
The smile left her face as her head snapped up. "Wait. I thought you hated marriage. Remember, 'just nut up and die alone'."
"I just meant hypothetically. Of course I don't want get married."
"Good. I don't want to get married either."
"Oh come on, of course you do Annie. You have a giant ass binder dedicated to your perfect wedding day."
"I meant I don't want to get married right now. There's still plenty of things I want to do before I get married."
"Good." He was silent for a few moments as he continued to thread his fingers through her hair. "Just for the record, if I was hypothetically going to marry you, it wouldn't be now. It would be later, after we've done all that other crap."
"Oh that's nice, referring to me and a relationship with me as crap," she said sarcastically.
"That's not…" He pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand as he groaned. "Annie, you know me. I don't do this kind of stuff. But for you, I'd do it. The dates and the romance and an actual relationship instead of just a one night stand. And all the many other stuff that occurs before the big M talk is even an issue."
"Really?" she said with a trace of uncertainty in her voice.
"Yea. It's you."
Annie smiled as she snuggled closer to Jeff. As she leaned against his chest he bent down and kissed her forehead. In spite of being in a strange house with a lot of ominous noise coming from the basement, they both felt content and comforted at that moment. Jeff pulled the questionable sheets over them as they both closed their eyes and fell asleep.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
The next morning Lester took them to a mechanic, who went out to where Jeff left his Lexis. After it was fixed Jeff and Annie were finally able to drive home, after answering the many concerned voicemails they had as soon as they were able to get a cell phone signal.
As they neared Casa Antrobed Annie looked over at Jeff. "Well?"
"Well what?"
"Are you going to ask me out already? Or was all that just 'sleeping on a stranger's bed' talk last night."
Jeff looked over at Annie before finally speaking. "Annie, can I take you out to lunch today? You know, after we've showered and changed into clothes we didn't sleep in."
"Let me think about it." Jeff grinned at her 'serious thinking face' before she said. "Yes. I would love to go out to lunch with you."
"Good."
As they drove she giggled as she put the baseball hat back on and turned the brim around. "Maybe I'll wear this at the restaurant. That could be a nice story for our first date."
"You can wear whatever you want. Just as long as I can see your face."