She sat in the cafe, casually sipping a glass of water. She didn't look like much. Just your average, everyday, ordinary, plain, run-of-the-mill, unnotable, person of no consequence. Perhaps that's what she appeared to be, but in reality, she might possibly be the greatest power in the universe. Maybe.
Suddenly, she found herself transported to an unknown land. No one is quite sure how or why this happened, but strangely enough, it did. The girl looked around and noted that she was in the middle of a large field, with not a soul in sight.
"Oooo-kay...." she ventured. Being randomly thrown into an unknown world was definitely not something she was expecting, to say the least.
Suddenly, a young man came running up to her, although there had been no indication of his presence before. Needless to say, the girl was startled once again.
"You!" said the boy. "I saw you appear here, and was wondering who you were! I am Van Fanel, King of Fanelia!" he said enthusiastically.
The girl hesitated, not really knowing whether she should blindly give her name to some stranger who thought he was a king. But, seeing as she seemed to have no other options, she replied, "I'm Patches." She then paused to reflect that she had a rather stupid name, that bore an uncanny resemblance to the writer of this.
Van went wide-eyed. "Patches?! You don't mean the Legendary Patches, do you? The great, omnipotent being who can do anything?!" he said redundantly.
"I... don't think so..." Patches replied. "I'm just some random girl."
"Nonsense!" cried Van. "If you are truly the Patches of legend, then we are destined to be together!" He ran towards her, arms outstretched.
"Okay, you are REALLY, starting to freak me out," Patches said, as she backed away, then made a mad dash for the forest.
Behind her, Van was yelling, "Where are you going, o Great One? I LOVE YOU!!"
Patches made it safely into the forest and stopped to catch her breath. Her stamina wasn't what it used to be. Ah, heck, she was eternally out of shape. Just as she was able to breathe normally again, a man with purple hair, closed eyes, a staff, and a black cape approached her.
"By L-sama, you are the Mazoku Overlord, Patches, are you not?"
"No, I'm not," Patches stated flatly.
"How can you say that?" he said, getting to his knees. "I, Xellos Metallium, bow before your greatness."
Patches gave him a flat look, then snuck away. How she was able to sneak away is a great mystery of the universe. She wondered to herself why people were assuming her to be someone of great importance. She sure didn't think she was. Heck, she was just some random girl.
Shortly thereafter, she came upon a rocky field. Patches found it odd for the terrain to change this drastically so often, but decided to let it pass.
Letting that pass, however, was a lot easier than letting the massive ball of energy headed her way do the same. She dove to the ground and got rather singed as the ball just missed her head. She looked up to where the blast had come from, and noticed someone floating in the air. While her mind reeled with the physical impossibility of such a thing, the man in the sky noticed her and gasped.
"You're...!" he began.
"I AM NOT!!" Patches yelled before he could finish. "I'm not some god, demon lord, or destined love. Sorry, but I'm just some random girl!"
The man floated down to her. He was wearing a blue spandex suit and white armor, and had black hair that seemed to defy gravity. "What are you talking about?" he said. "Why would I think you were any of that crap?"
Patches sighed in relief. Finally, a guy with some sense. But, then why had he taken note of her...?
She couldn't finish that thought as she was pulled into a tight embrace. The guy was inhumanly strong, and his armor was not exactly the softest thing to be crushed against. "Ow..." was all she could manage to get out.
"At long last..." the man whimpered. "My long-lost sister, Princess of Vegetasei, has returned to me."
Patches choked. Maybe because he just proved he was indeed another idiot. Maybe because she had no clue what he was talking about. Maybe it was because she couldn't breathe. She smacked at his arms, trying to get him to let go. He finally complied and looked her straight in the eyes.
"It's been so long, Patches. Where have you been?" he asked.
"At... school...?" she ventured. Then she shook her head and glared at him. "Okay, look, why the heck do you think I'm your sister? We don't look anything alike! Look, I can't be your sister, a demon lord, a god, and someone else's destined love, or else someone's got a REALLY messed-up family."
"But you're--" "JUST SOME RANDOM GIRL!!" With that, she ran off again. This much exercise all at once and out of the blue was really going to hurt in the morning.
Shortly thereafter, she suddenly came upon a city. It appeared to be an ancient Chinese city, actually. Odd. The first two people she met appeared to come right out of a European fantasy, and that spike-haired guy didn't even seem human. But a city had a lot of people, and the more people she met, the more people would call her something she wasn't.
It was not to be, however. From behind her, a voice, distinctly male (gods, weren't there any GIRLS in this world?!), asked, "Excuse me, are you--"
"NO!" she said, much more forcefully than she would have under any other circumstance.
"... lost?" he finished cautiously.
"No, I am JUST some RAND--, oh... Well, actually, yes, I am lost," she admitted. Maybe, just maybe, this guy could help her. "Where exactly am I?"
"You are in the kingdom of Konan," he explained. "I am the emperor of this country, and you may call me Hotohori."
Patches eyed him dubiously. "You don't want to make me your empress, do you?"
"It's a possible afterthought," he said, as Patches groaned. "But you see, you are the Patches no Miko, and you have come to bring good fortune to this land."
He could barely even finish the sentence before Patches had fled once again.
Patches stumbled along, clutching her side, which had started to cramp up from all the running. It was times like this she wished she exercised more (although she couldn't recall ever having any other "times like this"). She ended up at the end of a dock in a (modern) city. She had no recollection of entering a city, but that was the least of her worries.
She sat down at the end of the dock and looked up at the moon. She was then aware of someone sitting next to her. Great, who was it this time?
"I wonder how long I'll be able to see the moon like this?" said the boy, wistfully. He was dressed in all black, and had a long, brown, braided ponytail. He looked over at Patches. "Glad you finally decided to join us, 'Patches'." He said her name as though it were a code name or something.
Patches sighed. "So what am I supposed to be this time?"
"Don't you remember, silly?" asked the boy. "You're my partner. Your code name is Patches, which means 'infinity' in some made-up language. You pilot the Gundam Patches. You have the same name as the Gundam to confuse our enemies."
Patches pulled out a post-it note, wrote something on it, and stuck it to Duo's head (hey, he's suddenly got a name!). While Duo was busy fumbling with the sticky yellow paper, Patches had wandered off again.
The note read: "I'm just some random girl."
Irritated, confused, hungry, and at a loss for thought, Patches stumbled aimlessly. Eventually, she ended up in a gray, swirling mass. This was definitely something different. Perhaps it was a way out!
Of course, such was never the case, as the figure of a person appeared out of the mist. He looked about ready to say something, but Patches spoke first.
"Before you say ANYTHING, I am NOT your true love, master, sister, priestess, empress, god, partner, or savior. I am JUST SOME RANDOM GIRL!" she proclaimed, breathing heavily.
"I figured that," said the man. "I'm just some random guy. Actually, I work on fanfiction.net, and we've been having some... technical difficulties. Apparently, you were sucked into the website, and took on the roles of many self-insertion characters."
"But I wasn't anywhere near my computer when this happened," Patches explained. "And why me, of all people?"
The guy shrugged. "Hey, don't ask me. The glitch was random, and you were just some random girl."
"As I've said from the start..." Patches muttered.
"Anyway," the guy continued, "we did a reboot, and everything should be back to normal now. So, if you'll just follow me."
Patches gratefully did what she was told and headed towards the swirling mist. This adventure was something she hoped she'd never have to relive. Real life was hectic enough.
"You know..." said the guy, as they made their way across the barrier, "Maybe there WAS something special about you that the computer saw fit to send you there..."
Patches glared at him. "Don't... even... start..."
She was, and always would be, some random girl.