Both Gravity Falls and Star vs. The Forces of Evil are owned by Disney and created by Alex Hirsch and Daron Nefcy respectively. I do not own any of the characters in this story.
"My sister and I went to the future once to kill a giant baby."
A lot of people would describe college as the greatest time of their lives. The perfect conjunction between having youthful energy, carried over from our teenage times, as well as the extra experience you get with age, money (well, it's relative I guess), being far away from parental supervision, all of that sans the responsibilities you'll inevitably handle in the future as an adult in society.
Saturday nights in these times would probably be synonymous with partying, alcohol, and sex. Not sitting in your dorm room with your roommate, bored as all hell, playing the party game "Truth or Lie?" Because "Truth or Dare" isn't fun anymore, I mean we're a month away from 2020 for God's sake!
A player would reveal a past experience considered weird or unusual, and his opponent must guess whether he is telling the truth or a lie.
Now, with anyone else, the legitimacy of 'time travelling into the future to kill a giant baby with your sister' would be pretty easy to guess. However, for Mason Pines (Dipper, a nickname he's dropped but those close to him still use) and Marco Diaz, their limits to surreality is quite different to most people's.
"Okay... so, what was your motivation?"
Marco starts the interrogation. A year younger, but about 4 inches taller, he replaced Dipper's old roommate ("weed smoking, class failing bum got his ass dropped out") and instantly connected with him the moment they start sharing their time as teenagers, facing off against otherworldly adversaries.
"We were trying to kill the baby because... we wanted to go back in time to see why a friend of ours, Soos, you'll love him...uhh, he hates his birthday in the current year, and we wanted to cheer him up so we thought we should find out what makes him sad in the first place. And y'know, cause, the baby had the time machine so... we had to kill him first."
"Wait, so the baby had the time machine?"
"Yeah."
"So how did you and Mabel get to the future in the first place, then?"
Marco thought he'd found the plot hole to this supposed 'past experience'. A little easier when the this is the sort of stories that gets passed around the 2, but it makes it all the more fun listening to it.
"...oh, it was from uhh, another time traveler which we met, which was the reason why we knew time travelling was possible in the first place. Pretty sure I've told you about him before, I think when we were talking about first crushes or something?"
"Ah yeah, the Blendin guy?"
"That's the fellow. And this was after the whole Wendy thing."
It also gives Dipper the chance to recall his time in Gravity Falls. The location where most, if not, almost all of his stories happen. Just in his first summer there, him and his twin sister Mabel, currently studying in another university far, far away (still calls him twice a week) cracked codes, solves numerous mysteries, met the freaky, the grotesque, the supernatural, made eternal friends, defeated mortal enemies, changed fates of some, and re-united their families.
Dipper considered it his home. Not a second home or third, it's where he belongs. Living with a complete tramp of a student for a year gave him the motivation to finish up college as soon as he could. The faster he's done, the faster he can start his permanent stay at Gravity Falls.
It's not as if he's going to make any friends, here. His social life without Mabel is like a bird without wings. Besides, where else is he supposed to learn about magical, otherworldly creatures? Gravity Falls is where they all congregate.
Then he met Marco. Then he realised that he's not alone in this world of experiencing the unnatural, the extraterrestrial. Dipper met gnomes? Marco met kappas. Dipper met ghosts? Marco met monsters and amphibian beasts. Dipper met a dream demon? Marco met an evil, immortal lizard. Dipper's friends with a multi-bear? Marco's friends with a literal demon. Dipper has his twin sister? Marco had his magical princess from another dimension.
And then Dipper realised his new roommate might actually know more about other worlds and other dimensions than he does. Or even Grunkle Ford does (oh how he wishes Ford could meet Marco). That's why they became friends.
Then he realised that Marco's a really nice guy, who's very similar to himself, who supported him, helped him get past his mourning period when his sister couldn't, barely a year after meeting him and despite having little knowledge on his late Grunkles. That's why they became best friends.
"Okay... okay, it adds up." Marco thought, before asking another question just to reel him in. "What was the baby like?"
"Big ass head with like, an hourglass symbol on his head and he's got a deep voice. And flies on, like, a metal diaper, I think? Not so sure, it's been 7 years."
"Sounds cliched."
"And what are cliches based on?"
He sounds so smug when saying that, like he's just forced Marco into a corner where the only way out is by saying 'touche'. With a half smile, raising his left eyebrow so high it almost changed the shape of his birthmark.
Marco takes a while to decide on an answer, waiting to get a read on Dipper's face. He held a pretty good poker face for a while, but unfortunately, after some time, his tightening lips starts becoming a little obvious as he struggles to keep himself from smiling. A couple of hitches in his breathing, the sound a person holding a chuckle would make, is the last little giveaway Marco needs.
Typical.
"Okay, I'm gonna guess... it's probably based on some truth, but I think you've embellished some parts, like, you've made changes to the story to trick me so I think that counts as a lie."
Dipper sighs frustatedly, but adds a small chuckle at the end of it. "Damn it, this is not a game to play against a psychology major is it?"
"I swear to God everyone thinks you're some sort of freaking mind reading mentalist once you've told them you're studying psychology."
"Yeah, I know how you feel."
At least he thinks he does. You'd think Hitler's the only thing that has ever happened in the world, considering the amount of World War 2-related questions Dipper gets whenever he tells someone he's studying history.
"... but that was a good guess though, it actually was based on a true story, but we weren't trying to kill the time baby. We just had to beat Blendin in some sort of future deathly laser-tag olympics sorta thing, cause he was getting blamed by said Time Baby for the shit me and Mabel caused in the whole Wendy thing I told you about."
"Future... deathly... laser-tag olympics?"
"Yeah. It's called 'Globnar'."
Now, Marco's heard of a lot of weird languages from other dimensions but that just sounds like a baby vomitting. There's probably a connection with whatever happened once upon a time with the Time Baby, then.
"'Globnar'? Freaking 'Globnar'?! Seriously?!"
"Yeah."
"You should've just told the true story, I'd probably still say you've lied!"
"Yea, well, sometimes life is weirder than fiction."
They both smirked at each other instantly. They're both proud of the stuff they've went through. Everyone else can go party and get drunk and have as many sex as they can to make stories they'll tell the day they're old and grey. Some dude bro will sometimes give the 2 a bit of a hard time for skipping on yet another party. Dipper may take more risks, while Marco makes safer decisions, but at the core, they're very similar people. The kind of people who wouldn't like incredibly loud places. 'You're missin' out on your fulfilling your youth, bros' he'll say...
'We've seen things you'll never see', they'd reply.
Or rather that's what they would say if they're not socially awkward enough to not mumble incoherent excuses first.
"Your turn, dude."
"Alright, let me think..."
He's done so many insane things, faced so many Lovecraftian-looking yet goofy adversaries. His life outside of earth was far wilder than Dipper's. His world more expansive. The girl in his life could actually take him literally anywhere, not just Gravity Falls. To any plane, planet, and dimension that exists. A wonderful change of pace for a boy who only dreamed of adventures and challenges.
She came to his life, showed him magic, aliens, rainbows on fire, and suddenly he's alive. He went to hell, he went to a prison masked as a school dressed as a princess (you bet he's still collecting royalties. Dipper doesn't know. Except he does. Marco doesn't know that he knows.), he went to hundreds of other dimensions and it took him a year and some months plus a pretty messy break-up with a childhood crush for him to finally realise where he wanted to be.
Wherever she is.
Then the accident happened. And then she left. And her family took his scissors to Mewni. Funny how life goes.
"I once stopped an elephant-faced princess from stealing Star's face."
Dipper stared at him for a couple of seconds. Confused. "...huh? What? Her face? Why?"
"She wanted to switch faces with Star, cause she was... uhh... she was escaping from this torture school, I think I've told you about..."
"Saint Olga's"
"Yeah, she was a student there and she escaped. So, so she wouldn't get caught, her plan was to switch her face with Star's face, so Star would be the one caught if the guards or whatever ever sees her."
Dipper looked at him as if he's just transformed into a duck in front of his eyes. Then he just burst into laughter. He can't be serious.
"Dude, if you're bored with the game just tell me, that's not even trying!"
"What? Time travelling to meet a giant talking baby is the norm around here, but an elephant princess with a shitty plan is suddenly too dumb to believe?!"
"Come on Marc, no one's that stupid."
"Well she is."
"And how did she plan on switching faces with Star!? Magic!? Then why not just switch bodies, then, there's no limit with freaking magic!"
"I don't know man, she didn't think of it through, I guess..."
"Did she not? Or did you?"
"Nah, hang on, actually I'm pretty sure one of her fingers shoot lasers."
Dipper deadpanned for a while. Didn't feel like he needed to say anything, he's pretty sure his expression speaks for itself.
"How did you defeat her anyway?"
"I, uhh... threw a book at her."
He lost it. Again.
"Holy shit, dude."
"Just make the guess already."
He's probably trying to play some weird mind games. He's gonna tell the dumbest story he could come up with that's so dumb it'll actually make Dipper consider that it just might be true. But Dipper thinks he's 2 steps ahead of the game.
"You, Mr. Diaz, have lied to my face."
"Sorry Dip, it's true."
"Bullshit. Bull-freaking-shit, I do not buy that. I do not buy that at all!"
Dipper didn't even look surprised. He was so confident that it was a lie, it took quite a while for the truth to set in. Which means Marco didn't get the uber-expressive reaction he'd hoped for.
"I'm surprised you didn't go for true considering I could've been tricking you into thinking it's a lie considering how ridiculous the story was."
"I mean that's what I thought! I thought you were just making up the dumbest story ever to make say true to... subvert a possible subversion or whatever. Is that seriously a real story?"
"Yeah, it really was."
"Oh wow..."
Then it finally sets in, and Dipper lost it again, repeating 'oh wow's and 'no way's in the middle of his long giggling. An elephant-faced princess trying to steal Star's face for the most half-assed disguise plan he's ever heard. It's more about the asinine motivation itself than the absurdity of the situation.
It's about as ridiculous as his BABBA-loving Multi-Bear story.
Oh yeah, he hasn't used that one...
"Y'know, some of your stories with Star are too ridiculous for even my standards, and considering the crazy shit I've gone through with Mabel, that's saying something."
"Ditto."
Marco's gotta give it to those twins. Still managing to find crazy demons and outlandish creatures without ever being actually in another dimension. Still, his adventures with Star are just that bit crazier. Man, how cool would it be if the twins meet Star!
And suddenly everything's quiet. Marco looking down at the floor, Dipper looking at his best friend, realising the sort of memories he's awakened by the way he worded his last sentence.
"I miss her."
It's been 3 years since they've seen each other face to face. With rigorous princess training keeping her away from him. Fast-tracked into the throne, and adulthood, not quite by the same cruel fate that befell her wheelchair-bound mother, but it was still pretty awful.
And sometimes, Marco blames himself.
It stays quiet again for a little while. Dipper knew how he felt. Sort of. Though he does re-unite with his sister at the end of every semester. It probably doesn't compare with being separated with the love of your life for the last 3 years. Not receiving any calls (from an incredibly sophisticated-looking mirror phone Dipper's been dying to dissect but haven't done so in fear of breaking it), resorting to letters that barely get answered. She's just busy. He's heard their stories. No way they won't be together in the end.
Damn Mabel and her chick flicks.
He's going to help him get through this.
"You know she won't forget you, man. From what I've heard, at least." He encouraged, solemnly however. He's probably a couple of octaves away from a perfect Mabel impersonation. "It'll be like in the movies, you'll be separated from some time, and then you'll meet again across like, a hall or somewhere for you to run to each other for a big hug and a kiss. In the rain, too! Saw too many chick flicks with Mabes."
"Heh, yeah. But you know how life works, sometimes. Just screws you up, y'know."
"I mean what are cliches based on?"
He said it with the same amount of smugness he had when he said it the first time that night. Only with much more sympathy in his eyes. They share one last look at each other for the night, smiling and giggling, before finally hitting the hay at 2:25 in the morning.
Time will tell if life will be as generous as the endings to Mabel's favorite rom-coms, as both of them will try to stay quietly confident till then. For the time being, they'll have to settle for each other.
As well as a billion stories to tell from the greatest times of their lives, of course. Years before their college days.
Thanks for reading!
This is quite literally my very first fanfic, so I do hope whoever's reading could understand if there are flaws. Big ones even. I can only get better from here! (hopefully :P)
And I'm sorry I decided to leave lots of things ambiguous because I'm planning on making a sort of series, here. So hopefully I'll have the time to write more stories that'll expand on the big stuff mentioned here!
