Tales of the Abysmal
Prologue: ND 2000: In the kingdom of Kimlasca-Lanvaldear shall be born the scion of Lorelei's power. He will be of noble blood, with hair of red and terrible anger management issues. He will be called "the light of the sacred flashlight", and he shall lead the Lanvaldear Institute football team to three straight perfect seasons. He shall then be kidnapped by Mystearica Grants' older brother Vandesdelca, who will basically clone him and send the replica back. The replica will instantly know and understand his situation, but never tell anyone because he fears they will make him leave, and the house chef will hold the world record for best dang peanut butter & jelly sandwich you will ever taste in your life. Oh yeah, and Tear's gonna sink Hod. Oh, well. Oh, and Mr. Replica has finally mastered this hyperresonance thingy just before we get started, so he's pretty giddy with that still. Read the rest of the fic if you want more. It's my lunch break.
Chapter 1
Luke was crushingly bored. He had eaten his fill of the cook's sandwiches, practiced his swordplay till his servants would have no more of it, and gotten so desperate for something to do he was now using small hyperresonances to try listening to himself change his voice. Just as he reached a bass so low it shook the manor, a servant entered his room. "Master Luke, your parents want you to come to the drawing room and meet with Dorian General Van Grants, who has come to inform you that he'll be leaving to go look for some bozo named Ion, but he still has some time left now if you want to practice a little with him."
"Ummm, if you just told me exactly what's going to happen when I go there, wouldn't it save time if Master Van just came out to the courtyard and started teaching me?", Luke asked.
"Master Luke, you moron! You know we have to follow the plotline!" shouted the maid.
"Geez, okay already, I get it. Dismissed." As the maid left to go play Tales of the Abyss on the family's 60 ft. hi-definition TV, Luke wandered towards the door, but suddenly found himself on his knees and clutching his head, which felt as though it was going to split like an overripe cherry. "Agghh! Why does Lorelei, the aggregate sentience of the seventh fonon, have to contact so painfully when it tries to get me to do a hyperresonance so that it can see what one looks like?" Just then, a voice came from the nearby window.
"Luke! Not one of those headaches agai… ummm, why are you wearing a clown wig? You weren't messing with using your hyperresonance on your hair again, were you?" asked the servant, his spiky blonde hair bouncing slightly as he jumped down from the windowsill to help Luke up.
"So what if I was? C'mon, Guy, you're the only person I told about this. Don't make fun of it. You know what happened last time." Luke said, smirking evilly.
"Yeah," said Guy with much hesitation, "That color never did completely wash out of those clothes. Though the way I see it, because of your short fuse, I lost the cool-looking outfit I'm supposed to wear during this game, and so I'm stuck wearing this bartender outfit, which is EXTREMELY ITCHY! AND it's a girl magnet. Just my luck, I'm stuck with people asking me about wines this entire adventure." A knock comes at the door. "Uh oh," Guy said, rushing to the window, "I better leave before I'm seen. See you at the Tartarus, Luke!" Guy said as he hopped out of the window.
As Luke opened the door, he noticed that the knock had been the sound of a nearby maid slamming into the door. "Guy wasn't kidding when he called those clothes a girl magnet," he thought as he walked past the stunned maid and towards the drawing room.