The One After Rachel Says Yes
Previously on Friends... (cut to last season)
Rachel: I'm just saying that y'know, someday Ross is gonna meet somebody and.he's gonna have his own life. Right?
Joey: Yeah, I guess so.
Rachel: I just never thought I would raise this baby all by myself. Pretty dumb huh?
Joey: Hey, listen to me, listen to me.you are never ever gonna be alone. Okay? I promise that's not gonna happen.
Rachel: Joey. Honey what would I do without you? (They hug.)
Joey: You don't have to worry about that okay? (Pause)
Rachel: Oh, hon can you grab me my other box of tissues? They're right on that chair under Ross's coat.
Joey: Sure.
Rachel: Okay.
(He moves Ross's coat to get the tissues and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that it's an engagement ring.)
Joey: My God.
Rachel: Joey.
(He turns to face Rachel on one knee with the box open.)
Rachel: (seeing the ring) Oh my God. (Pause) Okay.
(Joey is stunned.)
[Cut to Ross getting of an elevator carrying a bouquet of flowers and walking down the hall to Rachel's room.]
[Fade to black.] [Still in the hospital (Rachel's room), Joey is on his knee comprehending what Rachel has just said. His face looks as if he's dividing 136 by 13]
Joey: What?
Rachel: Okay. I'll be your wife.
Joey: Huh?
Rachel: (getting upset) What? Was this some kinda sick joke? How could you do this to a new mother?
Joey: No, that's not at all what it is.
Rachel: (getting out of bed) Fine. Then I'll take you as my husband. (goes to Joey and takes the ring, putting it on her finger & glaring at it) Oh, this is so beautiful. (kisses Joey passionately, just as Ross walks in)
Opening Credits
[Still in Rachel's room]
Ross: [startled] Rachel! (Rachel stops kissing Joey) I guess I'll just leave you two alone. (leaves... then comes back in). Hold on! Woah... what... what's going on here?
Rachel: I'm getting married! I'm getting married! (Joey looks embarrassed)
Ross: Huh?
Rachel: Joey's gonna marry me. I won't have to be alone when you're out with the missus.
Ross: What missus? Huh? What am I not getting here?
Joey: Ross - I...
Ross: Forget it, I'm outa here. (Throws the lilies on the floor and leaves)
[Hospital waiting room. Ross is sitting in a chair with his head in his lap while Chandler and Monica come his way. Chandler is doing his happy dance]
Monica: Chandler, I told you to cut that out.
Chandler: Yes, mom... eh, uh... Mon... [stops, and is slapped by Monica]
Monica: (sees Ross) Ross? What's the matter?
(Ross raises his head, and his eyes are tearstained)
Ross: I hate Phoebe.
Chandler: What did she ever do to you?
Ross: She... she...
Chandler: T't'today junior!
Ross: She told me to go after Rachel!
Chandler: And that's a bad thing?
Monica: C'mon, Ross. You've wanted her since like ninth grade! And I mean, she wanted to marry you last year. And now, with Emma and everything... why not?
Ross: Because... she... she [breaks down in tears]
Chandler: Became a lesbian?
Ross: Her and Joey... her and Joey... [breaks down]
Chandler: her and Joey what?
Ross: Are engaged! [Monica and Chandler are shocked]
Monica: Are what?
Ross: Yeah. I know.
Chandler: I sure didn't see that coming.
Monica: Since when?
Ross: I dunno. I was just going to her room... I was about to propose... and then, like, she was kissing him! And she said they're getting married.
Chandler: Well, they won't be married long when he finds out that "we were on a break" does not work well with her. [Ross glares at him]. Oh wait, you said that. Oops.
Monica: Chandler... [gives him the look of death] Ross... look, I'm sure it's not what you think. I mean, Rachel rejected Joey... it must be all the painkillers... we'll go talk to him and work it all out.
Chandler: And if not, at least you were spared from a possible fourth divorce! [Commercial Break]
[Cafeteria. Phoebe and Joey are sitting down, eating jello]
Joey: ...and then she thought I was asking her to marry me. And she said yes...
Phoebe: Jo- you're in deep doo doo.
Joey: And, I mean, she's like the perfect woman. I don't know what to do.
Phoebe: Well, whatever you do, don't tell Ross about it.
Joey: He already knows.
Phoebe: (shocked) He what?
Joey: He walked in on Rachel... (puts down his head in shame) kissing me.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Oh my God!
Joey: I know.
[Chandler and Monica enter]
Monica: You've got a lot of explaining to do, mister.
Joey: Look, guys, I don't know what to do
Phoebe: It's okay, you guys. Joey explained it all, and it was a big mistake. He used Ross' ring.
Monica: You what? (slaps the back of Joey's head) You used my dead grandma's engagement ring?
(Joey nods his head guiltfully)
Phoebe: But he didn't mean to propose. It's just a big misunderstanding.
Monica: Well, tell that to Ross. I haven't seen him like this since Carol left him.
Joey: Okay. But I'm telling you, I don't think I can.
Chandler: Oh c'mon. It's easy. Just tell her the truth.
Joey: Fine. But, you'll be there for me, right?
Chandler: Err... [Commercial break]
[Hospital waiting room. Ross is still in one of the chairs, sobbing his eyes out, while telling his story to some kid with an ice pack on his arm]
Ross: ... and she was making out with my friend! Or should I say ex- friend...
[Monica, Chandler and Joey enter... not seeing Ross... and walk up to receptionist]
Chandler: Hey, we've come to see Rachel Green, Maternity ward, room 232...
Receptionist: And you are?
Chandler: Chandler Bing... um... Rachel's friend.
Receptionist: I'm sorry, only family members and spouses can visit at this time.
Monica: Well... she's my sister!
Chandler: No she's... [Monica shoots him a look]... she's your TWIN sister. Fraternal, of course.
Receptionist: Okay. [To Joey] And you are?
Joey: Her fiance.
Receptionist: You're... you're Dr. Drake Remoray!
Joey: Actually, I'm Joey Tribbiani. I mean, yeah...
Receptionist: Oh my! That Rachel girl is one lucky lady! Come right in.
[Monica and Joey pass through waiting room, just as Ross looks up]
Ross: What?!? What?!?
Chandler: Ross?!? You're still here? You've been in that seat for what? [looks at his watch, dejectedly] Fourty-seven minutes.
Ross: Why is Joey going to Rachel's room. Y'know... I don't want to know. I gotta get out of here.
Chandler: It's not what you think! Joey's just going to go talk to Rachel and sort everything out.
Ross: Then why did he just say he's her fiance?
Chandler: Well, he is. Ross: Okay, well, I'm going to her room too... [gets up] I'm going to propose as soon as he breaks his engagement.
Chandler: That doesn't sound to smooth...
Ross: And this is coming from Mr. "Man with a Plan"? [walks over to receptionist] Hi. I'm here to see Rachel Green.
Receptionist: And who are you?
Ross: I'm Ross Geller, father of the baby.
Receptionist: And I'm Marilyn Monroe. I'm sorry, but Joey Tribbiani just came up... he's her fiance y'know. Boy, do I wish I was a Tribbiani.
Ross: Well... guess what? You can be in, say, about... half an hour and he'll be back up for grabs. But let me through.
Receptionist: No. You can't be the father. Tribbiani is.
Ross: No, I am. Look at the baby's name... Emma Geller-Green?
Receptionist: Y'know... some celebrities give pen names.
Ross: [breaking through the entrance] Forget it... I'll go there myself.
Receptionist: SECURITY!
[Security guard walks up to Ross, who feebly attempts to dodge the guard, and is put in handcuffs.]
Chandler: This is worse than a soap opera.
[Commercial break]
[Rachel's hospital room. Joey and Monica enter.]
Joey: Rachel... Rachel... I really have to talk to you.
Rachel: You have all your life to talk to me, honey.
Joey: No, this is important.
Rachel: What is?
Joey: [sitting in a chair by her bedside] Okay, how do I start. Monica: How about that she's wearing MY grandmother's engagement ring?
Rachel: Huh?
Joey: Ok, look. That ring... it's Monica's grandmother's...
Rachel: And...
Joey: When I proposed to you... I didn't mean... I didn't intend on it...
Rachel: It was a surprise.
Joey: I can't marry you.
Rachel: What are you talking about? You told me that you fell in love with me. Remember? What is it? Now that I have a baby?
Joey: I do love you. It's just that, well, that ring was supposed to be for you... it's just that it was Ross that was going to ask you to marry him. Not me.
Rachel: I think you guys should go. I need to be alone right now.
Joey: I'm really sorry.
Rachel: You should be. Leave. [Joey leaves]
Monica: C'mon Rachel. Let's talk about this. I mean, it's my brother... and you, my best friend.
Rachel: I can't talk. I can't even think right now. I mean... I'll speak to you later... oh my... can they give me some more drugs.
Monica: Bye Rach. [leaves].
[Scene: Hospital Security office. Ross is sitting there, in cuffs. Monica, Chandler and Joey enter.]
Security Officer: So this man, Mr. Geller, he tried entering the room of a new mother... and claimed to be the father of her baby.
Monica: Yes, he is.
Security Officer: Well, from what we understand, the father is this man, Mr. Tribbiani.
Joey: No, sir. It's Ross.
Security Officer: Ok. Ross, you can leave. Chandler: Nice job trying to dodge the guard. I mean, you couldn't do it in college... and you thought you could do it here? Heh.
Joey: No hard feelings, Ross.
Ross: What? I don't want to talk to you right now.
Monica: Popular consensus by the parents.
Chandler: Ross... Joey broke the engagement with Rachel. You can propose to her whenever you'd like.
Joey: Yeah, if she'll speak to ya.
Chandler: Joey, shut up. Ross, just go talk to her... and may I suggest during visiting hours?
[Next day... Monica and Chandler's apartment. It has been decorated with streamers & all... and a big banner saying "Welcome Home Rachel and Emma". The gang minus Monica and Rachel are present.]
Phoebe: This dip is really good. [spills some on the couch]
Chandler: Oh my God! Monica's going to kill you! Wipe that up right now. Oh God Oh God.
Ross: I think that's what I should be saying right now. I'm the one having to propose.
Phoebe: Yeah, Chandler. You've had your chance.
Ross: To Rachel! Monica's my SISTER!
Phoebe: I know. I was talking about proposals in general. [goes back to eating dip]
Joey: They're coming... let's all hide.
[door opens before anyone can move]
Rachel: Monica, I still don't understand why I can't go straight ho...
All: Surprise.
Rachel: Wow! You guys did this for me?
Phoebe: Yeah. Well... it was mostly Mon... so if you get sick from the food, don't blame me! [Monica shoots her a look] not that you will.
Rachel: Thanks you guys. [Goes over to hug them... Ross just stands there quietly] Ross: Rachel, can you come with me for a moment.
Rachel: Umm... okay. Just let me get some grub. I tell ya, that hospital food is gross.
Joey: Hey, I like it!
Chandler: Coming from the man that will eat duck food.
[Ross walks Rachel into her old bedroom, which has a bed, the Ms. Pacman machine... and about a million candles]
Ross: Rachel, I've known you, loved you... since ninth grade. I mean, we've been through it all... romance, heartbreak, and now the birth of a beautiful baby girl. Rachel [gets down on one knee] will you marry me?
Rachel: Oh my. [Sits down on bed] I can't believe this is happening to me. I mean, two proposals in two days. Man, Ross, this is like you and divorces! [Pause] I've loved you too. Even when we weren't together, I never stopped loving you. And I think we can make it work. Sure, I'll marry you!
[Ross puts ring on her finger and they kiss.]
Rachel: and the ring is mine again!
[Closing credits]
[Ross and Rachel walk out of the bedroom... and the rest of the gang, who had been by the window, listening, falls in]
Ross: We're engaged!
Chandler: We figured.
Joey: Y'know... now you guys know how it feels to be the ones INSIDE the room.
[END]
Previously on Friends... (cut to last season)
Rachel: I'm just saying that y'know, someday Ross is gonna meet somebody and.he's gonna have his own life. Right?
Joey: Yeah, I guess so.
Rachel: I just never thought I would raise this baby all by myself. Pretty dumb huh?
Joey: Hey, listen to me, listen to me.you are never ever gonna be alone. Okay? I promise that's not gonna happen.
Rachel: Joey. Honey what would I do without you? (They hug.)
Joey: You don't have to worry about that okay? (Pause)
Rachel: Oh, hon can you grab me my other box of tissues? They're right on that chair under Ross's coat.
Joey: Sure.
Rachel: Okay.
(He moves Ross's coat to get the tissues and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that it's an engagement ring.)
Joey: My God.
Rachel: Joey.
(He turns to face Rachel on one knee with the box open.)
Rachel: (seeing the ring) Oh my God. (Pause) Okay.
(Joey is stunned.)
[Cut to Ross getting of an elevator carrying a bouquet of flowers and walking down the hall to Rachel's room.]
[Fade to black.] [Still in the hospital (Rachel's room), Joey is on his knee comprehending what Rachel has just said. His face looks as if he's dividing 136 by 13]
Joey: What?
Rachel: Okay. I'll be your wife.
Joey: Huh?
Rachel: (getting upset) What? Was this some kinda sick joke? How could you do this to a new mother?
Joey: No, that's not at all what it is.
Rachel: (getting out of bed) Fine. Then I'll take you as my husband. (goes to Joey and takes the ring, putting it on her finger & glaring at it) Oh, this is so beautiful. (kisses Joey passionately, just as Ross walks in)
Opening Credits
[Still in Rachel's room]
Ross: [startled] Rachel! (Rachel stops kissing Joey) I guess I'll just leave you two alone. (leaves... then comes back in). Hold on! Woah... what... what's going on here?
Rachel: I'm getting married! I'm getting married! (Joey looks embarrassed)
Ross: Huh?
Rachel: Joey's gonna marry me. I won't have to be alone when you're out with the missus.
Ross: What missus? Huh? What am I not getting here?
Joey: Ross - I...
Ross: Forget it, I'm outa here. (Throws the lilies on the floor and leaves)
[Hospital waiting room. Ross is sitting in a chair with his head in his lap while Chandler and Monica come his way. Chandler is doing his happy dance]
Monica: Chandler, I told you to cut that out.
Chandler: Yes, mom... eh, uh... Mon... [stops, and is slapped by Monica]
Monica: (sees Ross) Ross? What's the matter?
(Ross raises his head, and his eyes are tearstained)
Ross: I hate Phoebe.
Chandler: What did she ever do to you?
Ross: She... she...
Chandler: T't'today junior!
Ross: She told me to go after Rachel!
Chandler: And that's a bad thing?
Monica: C'mon, Ross. You've wanted her since like ninth grade! And I mean, she wanted to marry you last year. And now, with Emma and everything... why not?
Ross: Because... she... she [breaks down in tears]
Chandler: Became a lesbian?
Ross: Her and Joey... her and Joey... [breaks down]
Chandler: her and Joey what?
Ross: Are engaged! [Monica and Chandler are shocked]
Monica: Are what?
Ross: Yeah. I know.
Chandler: I sure didn't see that coming.
Monica: Since when?
Ross: I dunno. I was just going to her room... I was about to propose... and then, like, she was kissing him! And she said they're getting married.
Chandler: Well, they won't be married long when he finds out that "we were on a break" does not work well with her. [Ross glares at him]. Oh wait, you said that. Oops.
Monica: Chandler... [gives him the look of death] Ross... look, I'm sure it's not what you think. I mean, Rachel rejected Joey... it must be all the painkillers... we'll go talk to him and work it all out.
Chandler: And if not, at least you were spared from a possible fourth divorce! [Commercial Break]
[Cafeteria. Phoebe and Joey are sitting down, eating jello]
Joey: ...and then she thought I was asking her to marry me. And she said yes...
Phoebe: Jo- you're in deep doo doo.
Joey: And, I mean, she's like the perfect woman. I don't know what to do.
Phoebe: Well, whatever you do, don't tell Ross about it.
Joey: He already knows.
Phoebe: (shocked) He what?
Joey: He walked in on Rachel... (puts down his head in shame) kissing me.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Oh my God!
Joey: I know.
[Chandler and Monica enter]
Monica: You've got a lot of explaining to do, mister.
Joey: Look, guys, I don't know what to do
Phoebe: It's okay, you guys. Joey explained it all, and it was a big mistake. He used Ross' ring.
Monica: You what? (slaps the back of Joey's head) You used my dead grandma's engagement ring?
(Joey nods his head guiltfully)
Phoebe: But he didn't mean to propose. It's just a big misunderstanding.
Monica: Well, tell that to Ross. I haven't seen him like this since Carol left him.
Joey: Okay. But I'm telling you, I don't think I can.
Chandler: Oh c'mon. It's easy. Just tell her the truth.
Joey: Fine. But, you'll be there for me, right?
Chandler: Err... [Commercial break]
[Hospital waiting room. Ross is still in one of the chairs, sobbing his eyes out, while telling his story to some kid with an ice pack on his arm]
Ross: ... and she was making out with my friend! Or should I say ex- friend...
[Monica, Chandler and Joey enter... not seeing Ross... and walk up to receptionist]
Chandler: Hey, we've come to see Rachel Green, Maternity ward, room 232...
Receptionist: And you are?
Chandler: Chandler Bing... um... Rachel's friend.
Receptionist: I'm sorry, only family members and spouses can visit at this time.
Monica: Well... she's my sister!
Chandler: No she's... [Monica shoots him a look]... she's your TWIN sister. Fraternal, of course.
Receptionist: Okay. [To Joey] And you are?
Joey: Her fiance.
Receptionist: You're... you're Dr. Drake Remoray!
Joey: Actually, I'm Joey Tribbiani. I mean, yeah...
Receptionist: Oh my! That Rachel girl is one lucky lady! Come right in.
[Monica and Joey pass through waiting room, just as Ross looks up]
Ross: What?!? What?!?
Chandler: Ross?!? You're still here? You've been in that seat for what? [looks at his watch, dejectedly] Fourty-seven minutes.
Ross: Why is Joey going to Rachel's room. Y'know... I don't want to know. I gotta get out of here.
Chandler: It's not what you think! Joey's just going to go talk to Rachel and sort everything out.
Ross: Then why did he just say he's her fiance?
Chandler: Well, he is. Ross: Okay, well, I'm going to her room too... [gets up] I'm going to propose as soon as he breaks his engagement.
Chandler: That doesn't sound to smooth...
Ross: And this is coming from Mr. "Man with a Plan"? [walks over to receptionist] Hi. I'm here to see Rachel Green.
Receptionist: And who are you?
Ross: I'm Ross Geller, father of the baby.
Receptionist: And I'm Marilyn Monroe. I'm sorry, but Joey Tribbiani just came up... he's her fiance y'know. Boy, do I wish I was a Tribbiani.
Ross: Well... guess what? You can be in, say, about... half an hour and he'll be back up for grabs. But let me through.
Receptionist: No. You can't be the father. Tribbiani is.
Ross: No, I am. Look at the baby's name... Emma Geller-Green?
Receptionist: Y'know... some celebrities give pen names.
Ross: [breaking through the entrance] Forget it... I'll go there myself.
Receptionist: SECURITY!
[Security guard walks up to Ross, who feebly attempts to dodge the guard, and is put in handcuffs.]
Chandler: This is worse than a soap opera.
[Commercial break]
[Rachel's hospital room. Joey and Monica enter.]
Joey: Rachel... Rachel... I really have to talk to you.
Rachel: You have all your life to talk to me, honey.
Joey: No, this is important.
Rachel: What is?
Joey: [sitting in a chair by her bedside] Okay, how do I start. Monica: How about that she's wearing MY grandmother's engagement ring?
Rachel: Huh?
Joey: Ok, look. That ring... it's Monica's grandmother's...
Rachel: And...
Joey: When I proposed to you... I didn't mean... I didn't intend on it...
Rachel: It was a surprise.
Joey: I can't marry you.
Rachel: What are you talking about? You told me that you fell in love with me. Remember? What is it? Now that I have a baby?
Joey: I do love you. It's just that, well, that ring was supposed to be for you... it's just that it was Ross that was going to ask you to marry him. Not me.
Rachel: I think you guys should go. I need to be alone right now.
Joey: I'm really sorry.
Rachel: You should be. Leave. [Joey leaves]
Monica: C'mon Rachel. Let's talk about this. I mean, it's my brother... and you, my best friend.
Rachel: I can't talk. I can't even think right now. I mean... I'll speak to you later... oh my... can they give me some more drugs.
Monica: Bye Rach. [leaves].
[Scene: Hospital Security office. Ross is sitting there, in cuffs. Monica, Chandler and Joey enter.]
Security Officer: So this man, Mr. Geller, he tried entering the room of a new mother... and claimed to be the father of her baby.
Monica: Yes, he is.
Security Officer: Well, from what we understand, the father is this man, Mr. Tribbiani.
Joey: No, sir. It's Ross.
Security Officer: Ok. Ross, you can leave. Chandler: Nice job trying to dodge the guard. I mean, you couldn't do it in college... and you thought you could do it here? Heh.
Joey: No hard feelings, Ross.
Ross: What? I don't want to talk to you right now.
Monica: Popular consensus by the parents.
Chandler: Ross... Joey broke the engagement with Rachel. You can propose to her whenever you'd like.
Joey: Yeah, if she'll speak to ya.
Chandler: Joey, shut up. Ross, just go talk to her... and may I suggest during visiting hours?
[Next day... Monica and Chandler's apartment. It has been decorated with streamers & all... and a big banner saying "Welcome Home Rachel and Emma". The gang minus Monica and Rachel are present.]
Phoebe: This dip is really good. [spills some on the couch]
Chandler: Oh my God! Monica's going to kill you! Wipe that up right now. Oh God Oh God.
Ross: I think that's what I should be saying right now. I'm the one having to propose.
Phoebe: Yeah, Chandler. You've had your chance.
Ross: To Rachel! Monica's my SISTER!
Phoebe: I know. I was talking about proposals in general. [goes back to eating dip]
Joey: They're coming... let's all hide.
[door opens before anyone can move]
Rachel: Monica, I still don't understand why I can't go straight ho...
All: Surprise.
Rachel: Wow! You guys did this for me?
Phoebe: Yeah. Well... it was mostly Mon... so if you get sick from the food, don't blame me! [Monica shoots her a look] not that you will.
Rachel: Thanks you guys. [Goes over to hug them... Ross just stands there quietly] Ross: Rachel, can you come with me for a moment.
Rachel: Umm... okay. Just let me get some grub. I tell ya, that hospital food is gross.
Joey: Hey, I like it!
Chandler: Coming from the man that will eat duck food.
[Ross walks Rachel into her old bedroom, which has a bed, the Ms. Pacman machine... and about a million candles]
Ross: Rachel, I've known you, loved you... since ninth grade. I mean, we've been through it all... romance, heartbreak, and now the birth of a beautiful baby girl. Rachel [gets down on one knee] will you marry me?
Rachel: Oh my. [Sits down on bed] I can't believe this is happening to me. I mean, two proposals in two days. Man, Ross, this is like you and divorces! [Pause] I've loved you too. Even when we weren't together, I never stopped loving you. And I think we can make it work. Sure, I'll marry you!
[Ross puts ring on her finger and they kiss.]
Rachel: and the ring is mine again!
[Closing credits]
[Ross and Rachel walk out of the bedroom... and the rest of the gang, who had been by the window, listening, falls in]
Ross: We're engaged!
Chandler: We figured.
Joey: Y'know... now you guys know how it feels to be the ones INSIDE the room.
[END]