Belonging

Disclaimer: I own the plot and Izzy.

Author's note: I try not to make a lot of OC's for Fairy Tail but this one is one of my favorites. Isabella known as "Izzy" is my hermaphrodite shield/protection mage who dabbles in herbs and poisons. If her dual-gender bothers you than by all means skip this story. It will not break my heart. I just love Izzy far too much to resist writing about her. Will eventually end up with her in a relationship with Bixlow so if you don't want to see a Bixlow-centric story then I wouldn't read this, either. Warnings will be given by chapter. Warnings for this prologue includes some angst, controversial topics (i.e. a dual-gendered character) and mentions of some unpleasantness but nothing too bad. As always comments are well received!

Prologue

She would stand there gazing at the building from across the street, gray eyes drinking in the structure as she warred with her own doubts and fears. She wanted this more than ANYTHING else in the world, wanted to be counted among the members of THIS Guild. Worrying her lip between her teeth, the black haired mage spends a few more minutes contemplating what she felt as pure insanity before taking a step forward...and then another...and then another. After the fifth step, she'd freeze as those inner demons she carried started in on her again.

'Isabella, what are you doing?'

'You know you'll never be accepted.

'Certainly not here.'

'Not ANYWHERE.'

Flinching at her own internal condemnation, she wraps her arms around herself. Really, what WAS she thinking in this?! She had to be completely out of her mind to think that Fairy Tail would EVER take in someone like HER. All her doubts and fears fill her and she really starts to wonder at her own stupidity in this. Angry, bitter tears form and she struggles with the swirling thoughts that just wouldn't let up though in hindsight, she was pretty sure she had herself to blame for them.

"Miss, are you lost?"

A voice snaps her from her statue-like position and she looks at the speaker feeling her face heat up. "I...No," she stammers, "Just...Passing through." Honestly, she had to look like an idiot almost in the middle of the street. She looks once more at the Guild hall, that ache in her returning full force before forcing herself to turn and walk quickly away. There was no point in it, in the end. Why put herself through that embarrassment?

Unbidden, tears form and her vision soon gets blurry which is what leads her to crashing into another person. Her smaller stature has her on the ground for her troubles. "Whoa, hey, you alright?"

She swallows and wonders how many more ways of humiliating herself she was going to go through before gazing up at the other. "I...Yes," she says before furiously wiping her eyes, "I just...need to pay better attention to where I'm going. My apologies." She forces herself onto her feet before dusting off her skirt.

"You sure you're alright? You look upset."

She shakes her head. "No, I'm fine. Really. Just..." Just what? That she hated the way her life was going? That she wanted so badly to join Fairy Tail that she'd come all this way? Really, it sounded like she was crazy. Though considering her ensemble which was a top, a flowing skirt AND pants with a compartmentalized belt and a pack on her back, she probably already seemed that way.

"Just? That isn't exactly a reassuring answer."

"Not that it's any of your business but..." She immediately trails off sighing, "No, I'm sorry, you don't deserve my scathing attitude. I'm fine. I was just passing through Magnolia City. I wanted to see the Fairy Tail Guild Hall. That's all."

"Wanted to see it or join the Guild?"

She tenses. "I really MUST be going now." Honestly, she had no reason to panic like that but her nerves were all shot in the wrong ways and she nearly bolts for the train station. 'Here's an idea for you, Izzy,' she thinks, 'Just get the hell out of this town, go somewhere quiet, and raise an herb garden. Then you won't have to deal with ignorance, violence, or your own stupid choices in life that led you to having no home and no family. Wouldn't THAT be grand?'

She runs out out of breath before arriving there and sinks onto a bench before cradling her chin in her hands. Honestly, she was an emotional wreck this month though everything going south granted her a reason for the near-hysterics. She finally manages to shrug off her pack and rest it against her side as she slowly relaxes and catches her breath. Running like that was probably an even better sign that she was a bit not in the "well" department. It was just one more thing added to the list at this point.

Isabella preferring the nickname "Izzy" was all of 5'3" with curves that made most look twice. She excelled in shielding and protection magic along with herbs and poisons which she carried in the belt she wore. Her reluctance to join Fairy Tail or to form bonds in general, however, came with the truth behind her clothing choices. She did not accessorize because she wanted to. The skirt was loose and kept most from noticing the biggest flaw she carried which when others realized it tended to end badly to say the least. Dual-gendered, she had serious trouble fitting in anywhere. Now old enough to be considered an adult, she'd been "kindly" asked to go and put roots down elsewhere...preferably FAR away from her blood-kin she'd spent her childhood shaming with her refusals to get an operation and "fix" her abnormality. Having to move six times did not endear her to her siblings who got tired of the rumors, the whispers, and having to deal with the "freak" in their family.

Closing her eyes again, she takes another slow breath before taking a hold of her bag that held all her meager possessions and rising. She needed to get on her way. There was no use in wishful thinking. Her selfishness had already cost her family stability. Why would she want to put anyone else through having to deal with her? Yet that need for family, for connections made her want so badly to go back to that building and go INSIDE, to speak to the Master to perhaps SEE if...She shakes her head violently. "Stupid, foolish, dreamer!" she mutters, "Really, you are the worst sort of masochist for even THINKING that a good idea." But she turns anyway, looking back in that direction. "Izzy...do not be an idiot. You can't...They would NEVER..." She steps in that direction before forcibly stopping herself. This was ridiculous and had to be absurd from the perspective of any passersby who saw or heard her talking to herself. She bites her lip again. What would ONE conversation hurt? Wouldn't it be better to know if she could have ever joined them than to wonder? "You are officially insane, Isabella," she mutters as she throws the strap of her bag over her shoulder and walks back the way she came.

This time, she doesn't give herself or her inner demons the chance and walks to the doors before pushing them open and stepping inside. And once in there was really no way to HEAR anything over the rowdy scene she finds. Quietly, she closes the door before slowly stepping further in watching the sheer chaos that was the Fairy Tail Guild ensue. Her presence, though doesn't go unnoticed for long. "Hello there!" comes the warm tone of the white-blond mage Mirajane from the bar, "Welcome to the Guild Hall of Fairy Tail. What can we do for you?"

She'd make her way there regardless of the fact that the greeting makes most of the din die down. "I was...wondering if Master Makarov was in," she replies willing her voice to be steady, "I wanted...to talk to him about the Guild."

Blue eyes would gaze at her a moment contemplatively before that smile would brighten. "Joining, I'm guessing?"

"Maybe," she replies, "It...just depends. Is he in?"

"He'll be in here in a little while if you care to just stick around."

"Would that be alright?"

She watches Mira look a bit confused before her gaze zeroes in on her pack and her eyes soften. "Of course it is. Are you hungry? I'll get you something to eat and drink. My treat."

Izzy swallows at the protective nature of the other having had that too little in her life and manages a nod and a hoarse, "Thank you."

Mira gives her a beaming smile before vanishing from view leaving the black haired mage to really hope that maybe, just maybe the conversation would go her way. A moment later, the other reappears with a cup and a plate. "Here, you look like you could use a bit of comfort."

"It's been in short supply," she agrees softly, "I really do appreciate it."

"What's the point of things if you don't help others, right?"

"That's definitely a wonderful viewpoint. Pity that it's not exactly a widely used one."

"I agree."

Izzy sips the drink feeling strangely settled in this loud, rambunctious place. She'd followed about Fairy Tail ever since she was old enough to read and it had always been the Guild she wanted to be a part of. She'd hoped that with it's vastly diverse group of mages and magic that perhaps HER short-comings could be overlooked as well. 'Optimism, Izzy,' she thinks even though she wasn't sure she was even capable of that.

As promised, the Master makes an appearance almost an hour later. "The meeting went well, I hope," Mira murmurs.

The soft groan emitted would be followed with, "I swear I'm going to start making THOSE brats pay for the damage they cause if they can't control their magics."

"They got onto you about Natsu and Gajeel again?"

"Not just Natsu and Gajeel. Apparently MY grandson can't manage to NOT cause chaos EITHER."

"Probably when Freed's not with him."

"Tch, Dragon Slayers..."

Mira giggles. "Well, if you are interested there is someone here who'd like to talk to you about Fairy Tail. I think she's interested in joining."

"Well, now that's more promising than dealing with the Magic Council."

Mira chuckles before waving Izzy over. Slowly, she'd rise before moving closer. "I won't take up much of your time, Master Makarov, I promise," she says quietly.

"Nonsense, if you have an interest in Fairy Tail then I'm all yours to question."

She finds herself MORE at ease in the older wizard's presence. As powerful as Makarov Dreyar was he exuded that protective nature that drew most of those souls searching for something more than they had. "I've...actually always wanted to join Fairy Tail. It's been a dream of mine since I was old enough to understand Guilds."

"It's amazing how much I hear that," Makarov says with a chuckle, "I must be doing something right. Though I sense a bit of a hesitation about that as well. May I ask why?"

She bites her lip a moment. "Here's where my...particular issue comes in. I've...caused a lot of problems for my family to the point where they pretty much told me to leave and never come back. That it was GOOD that I was finally considered an adult and they didn't have to take responsibility for me."

"That seems a harsh reaction."

Izzy swallows. "We moved six times and having to do that to kids over and over makes connecting with others difficult and tends to make them resentful. My siblings blamed me for their having to continuously uproot themselves."

"How was this your fault, exactly?"

Her fingers would find her nearly waist-length black hair twirling strands around the digits. "I was the one who brought the whispers, the sneers, the avoidance of my family in social circles they would normally be in. I was the reason for the broken windows, the slurs painted on the house, and the occasional threat."

"You? How?"

"Because I kept refusing to solve what was considered "the problem". I wouldn't go to the hospital for a simple surgery. I had to be defiant and couldn't see that there was something wrong with me. That I'm not normal and I need help."

"That's an even more worrisome response and makes me wonder MORE at what they thought of as a "problem" for a child or one that could cause that much of an issue."

Izzy is silent a moment before she slowly reaches down and slides her fingers into the hem of the skirt and finds the zipper before tugging it down and pulling the material into her arms and away from her body. "I'm dual-gendered," she finally admits willing the sudden spike in panic to lessen, "My family has spent since I was five trying to convince me that I'm not yet right...that I need to take care of my abnormality. Perhaps...the issue is MINE but I don't for a minute think that there is anything wrong with me. I wear the skirt because I get tired of having to defend myself FIRST. I am female...I SEE myself as female though I have a male addition that I have NO intention of surgically removing because as I've repeatedly said it is a part of who I AM." However, there were days where she wondered if perhaps the problem really WASN'T her way of seeing things.

"So, my dear, do you have a name to go along with this most intriguing situation?"

"My name is Isabella," she answers, "But I prefer Izzy."

"And your magics?"

"I excel in shield and protection magic," she answers, "With a secondary prowess in herbs and poisons. All those I carry are non-lethal but I know how to counter-act poisons that COULD kill."

He gazes at her a moment, eyes seeming to read deep into her. "Well, Izzy," he finally murmurs, "Fairy Tail would be only too happy to welcome you to the fold. Your road may be rockier than most have to deal with but it's not something you will have to travel alone if you don't want to. My brats will NOT be so condescending and judgmental or I'll toss them out on their ear. They know better than to gauge on appearance."

"You can't control perception...or how people react," she says softly, her fingers tightening in the folds of the material, "but hiding...is an exhausting venture in lying that feels even worse."

"Oh, I can imagine it would be. Izzy, YOU are the only person who can choose if the person you are is who you want to be. No one should EVER be allowed to make you conform to THEIR ideals about who you should be."

"But they do sometimes...and it makes it painful to have to be on the opposing side."

"I can tell...but you've come to a place where you will find friends, family, and work without prejudice. And if by chance you face such a thing know that being a member of this guild makes your problems OUR problems and we tend to solve those quite forcefully."

"I just...I don't want to put you all in the position of having to endlessly hear the slurs I get thrown at me or heaven forbid you all get worse commentary for having one such as me in your Guild."

Makarov blinks a moment before murmuring, "I think that were someone to take issue on THAT alone they'd find themselves suitably in trouble with my brats. Reputation isn't enough to turn away someone in need, Izzy. I would rather hold the reputation granted for taking you in because I see NOTHING wrong with who you are. If they want to be that cruel then it shows how little THEY care for others. Fairy Tail is better than that."

"Fairy Tail...is the only Guild I want to join," she admits, "It's always been the Guild I wanted claimed by."

"Then I guess there is just one more question to ask along that line; where would you like your guild mark, my dear?"

And in that moment, Izzy felt that maybe, just maybe there was such a thing as justice where she was concerned. While she was sure there would still be issues to overcome as life had a tendency to like to throw curves at people, perhaps she'd finally found a place where she could walk that path without doing it ALONE.