falling backwards

I've always been afraid of heights, of falling backwards. - Pluto, Sleeping At Last. / modern au where Jinora's a fashion model and Kai's the photography student who happens to land a gig at one of her photo shoots. [Kai/Jinora]


i. til one day

It starts many times before it begins. It starts with a young boy picking up a camera, and deciding he likes the way the light illuminates beautiful things, places, people. It starts as a hobby, and then a serious consideration, and then a lucky stroke of fate that lands him a job working at Air Nomad, a prestigious magazine, when he's barely out of school.

But it truly, finally begins, when he sees her. Powdery blue fabric clings to her arms and body and flares around her thin wrists, making her look like she's floating, her skin glowing in the light of the camera, her pose regal, her eyes sparkling with intelligence. And Kai's fingers fumble as he picks up his camera, and as he focuses, he thinks, for a second, her eyes meet his, and that in the sixty seconds before the flash goes off, she gives him the tiniest smile he's ever seen.

It is a rare thing, to have nothing to do but notice another person's beauty for an entire hour and a half, but that's exactly what Kai had to do. He's seen a lot of beautiful things: snowy mountains set aglow with starlight; rushing rivers with sparkling waters and glimmering fish scales. But still, Kai finds himself as fascinated with the gentle wisp of her figure, the slight curl of her hair.

One of assistants, the friend who recommended him for the position, Korra, elbows him in the ribs once the shoot is over. "Pretty smitten with Jinora, hmm Kai?"

Kai flushes. "N-no," he stutters, rubbing the back of his neck. Korra simply grins and Kai scowls. "Shut up Korra."

But deep down, he's making the connection between the girl and the name, making sure to remember it. Jinora.

ii. i had enough of this exercise of trust

"Your angles are really good, you know," a voice behind him says, and Kai nearly drops his camera. He'd been going through photos, trying to find just the right ones to submit for consideration to the magazine editor. He blushes furiously when he realizes it's Jinora, now in simpler clothes: a pale blue sweater and jeans, her hair tied back in a messy bun. (She still looks amazing, though.)

"Hey," he says, and it's the only word he can manage to get out.

Jinora smiles, bemused. "Hey." Her eyes flit over to his pictures, all of her.

Kai remembers how to speak. "Oh, um, thanks. You wanna... see them?" Normally, he doesn't let hardly anyone see his unfiltered work, or anything he hasn't carefully selected. But she's seen some of it, and it's all of her anyway, so what's the harm? He passes over the camera, and Jinora gently takes it into her small hands. "I'm Kai, by the way."

"Jinora," she says, giving him a quick smile before turning her attention to the photographs. She doesn't study most of the pictures for long, pausing only to examine and then moving on. Kai feels nervous, and wants her approval, somehow, for photos, and how he's been capturing her image. Then, he hears her gasp, and sees she's gone beyond her photos by one, and is staring at one of a mountain range. "Kai, this is absolutely beautiful."

"Well, yeah, but..." he looks at her, eyes growing soft. She's practically a complete stranger, but he has to wonder, "Don't you think you're beautiful too?"

"I'm just doing this as a way to pay for school," she shrugs, frowning slightly.

"You didn't answer my question." Jinora meets his eyes, and Kai finds it hard to not look away, but he refuses to give up on an answer.

"I guess not," she says slowly. "I mean, I think I'm pretty, but not beautiful. Beautiful is for nature, or works of art, or..." she trails off, handing the camera back to him. "Thanks for letting me see your photos."

"Wait, Jinora." She turns around to face him again, and he feels suddenly nervous. "Look again, maybe it'll change your mind."

Jinora's whole faces light up. "Yeah, okay."

Kai can't help but smile back, and thinks maybe, if he's lucky, he'll reflect some of her light.

iii. i leaned in and let it hurt

They hang out at the water coolers after work and Kai ignores Korra's knowing smiles. Kai shows her more of her pictures, and maybe prints out a few that she really likes for her. She takes silly selfies and makes faces in between takes and photos. Jinora takes her sunhats and jams it over his head and steals his camera to take a picture. The summer collection rolls on by with sundresses and skirts and Kai is grateful that there isn't a swimsuit portion.

And Kai thinks, one day as he hands Jinora a cup of water and she takes it gratefully, how easy it'd be to lean down and kiss her. But then a voice rings out, "Jinora!" and he remembers where they are and what his job is and that the photo-shoot is being drawn to a close.

He gathers up his courage on the last day, but when he sees her walking towards him with a smile, his throat goes dry. He doesn't get the chance to speak before she says, "Kai, would you like to go for coffee sometime? As a date?"

"Um, yes," Kai grins. "Yeah. That'd be cool." Real smooth Kai, he thinks, mentally slapping himself, but he can't be too upset when Jinora giggles and gives him her number and they arrange the details.

Kai's left thinking it's too bad he doesn't have a photograph, because this is certainly a moment he'd like to look back on.

iv. and let my body feel the dirt

The dirt is dry and hot, but the leaves above them cast pretty shadows, showing only slivers of sunlight. Kai laughs as Jinora points out a cloud that looks like an airplane, and Kai snaps a quick picture. "Will that do?" Kai asks, showing her the photograph.

"Maybe," Jinora teases. Her face is startled as Kai takes a picture of her. "Kai, I wasn't ready."

"You don't have to be to look beautiful," Kai points out, and hands over his camera so she can inspect her photo. Her brow furrows, but slowly she smiles.

"Yeah, I guess not," she says gently, and leans over and kisses him. Kai's surprised at first, as this is the first time they've kissed even though they've been dating for over a week, but responds with equal enthusiasm. Jinora pulls away first and grins. "Now it's my turn to take a picture of you."

Kai strikes a ridiculous pose, puffing out his chest. Jinora's barreled over with giggles and can barely take the picture, and it's sloppy and blurry, but Kai prints out a copy for her anyway.

v. when i break pattern i break ground

Jinora laughs so hard she snorts into her cup of tea. "You do realize from that angle it looks like the person's going poo, right?"

"Okay, okay," Kai relents. He goes to the next photo. "What about this one?"

"Too much light off the water," Jinora decides. "I think you're losing your touch, love."

"I'm afraid not every picture can be done with candlelight," he jabs. "But I know our third year anniversary is your favourite." It takes a few simple clicks for the picture to be displayed on the camera screen: a bouquet of roses illuminated with dim candlelight. "But you know, you're probably right, I should just scrap it-"

"Kai?" Jinora's voice is soft and serious, and Kai looks over at her in concern. "Let's travel the world. Take pictures."

He beams at her. "Yeah. Yeah okay."

vi. i rebuild when i break down

They run along the Great Wall of China for as long as they can and kiss underneath the Eiffle Tower. Jinora nods off on plane rides and rests her head on his shoulder. They walk down cobblestone streets and admire museums and the history of England, India, the outbacks of Australia. Jinora cries standing in the Temples of Greece and has Kai take a million pictures. They swim and walk and run and bike and see everything they've ever wanted to see.

And when it's finally time to go home, Jinora realizes that her home is him, and Kai knows that Jinora is still the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, only now, inside and out.

vii. i wake up more awake than i've ever been

"Hey," he mumbles against her hair, sunlight streaming into their bedroom. Jinora smiles sleepily.

"Hey," she greets, leaning in to give him a sloppy kiss. She sees Kai staring at her fondly, and gives him a questioning look. "What?"

"Wanna get married?"

Jinora stares at him. "Why Kai Fong, is that a proposal?"

"You didn't answer my question," he says, meeting her eyes.

Jinora throws her arms around him, kissing him fiercely. "Yes," she murmurs against his lips. "A thousand times yes." She pulls away breathlessly, "Wait, we need to take a picture." She grabs his camera from the beside table and in the sixty seconds before the flash goes off, Kai knows he'll never forget this, the curve of her lips, the light in her eyes, and Kai gives her the biggest smile he's ever seen.