A/N: And this is what I do when I need to destress from work... Small one shot.. I love dialogue writing, especially when its Meredith and Alex.. Hope someone enjoys this lol

Disclaimer: They don't belong to me or they'd be together by now...

"If this was Derek, I'd already be gone."

Breathe In.

Breathe Out.

Sometimes being the good person sucked, Meredith mused as she rolled over on her bed and sighed. Sleep wasn't happening and all she could do was stare at the ceiling.

Nathan was gone.

He didn't die.

He didn't dump her in a messy fight.

He was just gone.

There was no one to blame. No one to be angry at, fate had just intervened, and the moment she had decided to go all in, he was gone.

She heard the door open and shut and she sighed.

Alex.

She knew the sound of his footsteps before he even made it to her bedroom. She had learned them years ago, and almost knew his mood by just the sound of his steps. Tonight they were harder, quicker, his date didn't go well.

"People suck." He spoke as he appeared at her door and slung his jacket on the chair.

"So I guess you're not back with Jo?" She asked as she sat up on the bed.

"Not even close."

"Want to tell me what happened?"

"No."

"But you will." She smirked.

"Hush." He muttered slipping off his shoes and falling onto the bed next to her. "Why did I even try."

"Because you love her."

"I thought I did. Not really sure anymore."

"That bad?"

I told her I went to see her ex."

"I'm sure that went well."

"She yelled, stood up in the freaking resturant and yelled at me."

"Nice."

He was silent for a moment and she turned to look at him. He was staring at the ceiling, his breaths shallow as he closed his eyes for a moment and them opened them.

"I can't do it anymore Mer." He almost whispered.

She looked at him, at his eyes as they closed, and his face as he winced. It was too hard., she knew he couldn't take much more.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"Okay?" He asked turning his head to look at her. "Okay?"

"Okay." She spoke again. "If it hurts this bad, then don't, don't do it again. Unless it's worth it, is it? Is it worth it."

"No."

"Okay."

"It's never going to be what I need it to be."

"What do you need?"

"This." He spoke bluntly.

"This?"

She looked at him, and he looked back at her honestly. His eyes brighter than they had been as he stared at her intently.

"This. A home, a family, someone who can communiate with me. Someone who fights for me."

She swallowed waiting for him to look away but he didn't. His eyes just stared at her, lingering until she broke their gaze.

"So this, but with perks?"

"Lots of perks."

"Perks are good."

"Very."

She saw him smirk and she hook her head as he started to relax beside her.

"I talked to Amelia."

"Yeah?"

"Megan is doing good."

"And Riggs?"

"He's with her."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. She doesn't remember a lot, doesn't remember his cheating. So Owen finally let him see her."

"And happily ever after?"

"Someone should get one."

"Just not us."

"We could still get one… Someday."

"Mer, you almost got one and his girlfriend came back from the dead. I thought I had one and she forget to tell me she was married. She didn't even tell me her real name. I hate to blow your dreams into pieces but things are not looking good for either of us."

"I had Derek."

"Yeah."

"And you had Izzie."

"She left Mer."

"But it was amazing for awhile."

"And then she left…."

"Nathan begged me to chance it. I didn't want too, I really didn't. I kept seeing Derek and I just didn't want to try it…"

She felt his hand touch her arm. It was gentle, almost careful but it was enough.

"But you did."

"I did," She spoke with a sigh.

"You liked him."

"More than I wanted too."

"And it sucks."

"It does but I tried and that's good."

"Yeah, I tried too.. Turned out great." Alex snorted. "We are both super happy after trying huh?"

"At least we have each other." Meredith spoke turning to face him.

"We are pretty much stuck with each other, you know that right?"

"Yeah. It's not so bad is it?"

"Nah, at least we're both hot." Alex shrugged.

"True."

"So you admit I'm hot?"

"Just figured I'd agree with you." Meredith grinned.

"So…" Alex smirked, "Would now be a good time to talk about those perks?"

"Shut up Alex." Meredith laughed hitting him with a pillow.

"You know we're probably going to get married someday anway." Alex grinned.

"Oh yeah?" Merediah smirked.

"Seriously, it'll happen."

"Probably. I am the only one that can put up with you."

"And I'm the only one that can deal with your crazy."

"So you're saying all we have is each other?"

"Probably."

"Forever?"

"It's looking that way."

"Will you keep making waffles?"

"Well I'm not eating the ones you make, so yeah."

"Might not be so bad then."

"Mer, I'm sorry about Riggs."

" I'm sorry about Jo."

"You don't even like Jo." Alex laughed .

"You don't like Nathan."

"I would have tried… for you."

"Waffles tomorrow?"

"I was thinking omelets."

"You're making me seriously consider this marriage thing."

"I knew you'd come around." Alex joked as she closed her eyes and yawned.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Everything would okay.