It's been weeks.. months.. since I last saw my beloved members. Or.. Should I call them.. ex members?

It's been weeks.. months.. since I last saw my love. I was not even sure if my love was still loving me. Still thought about me like I did this past months.

I broke the promise.

I knew I made millions people disappointed. I made the fans cried, I made them hate me. I made the other members hate me. Perhaps my love turned to hate me now. After everything I did.

I promised. Then broke it.

It was hard decision. To finally left the group that raised my name. To left the group I loved so dearly. To left my other half.

I sounded selfish, didn't I?

But that was the best. I thought about it over and over before made the final decision.

To left.

Sehun texted me. Everyday.

He wished a happy birthday for me. Without everyone knew about it.

He called me at night, but I couldn't pick the call. I didn't want to remember the promises I broke.

I had to re-start everything. My career. My life.

I wanted to erase the memory. Because it was painful to looking back. I can't be weak. I had to fight the urge to came back. I couldn't come back. I wouldn't.

"Tao. I miss you. We are preparing for our repackage album. Come back soon, alright?"

I was hurt everytime I read the texts Sehun sent me.

"Because you can't be here, Yixing hyung has to do the Rapp part too. ㅋㅋㅋ. Do you want to hear it? I shouldn't be doing this because the song is going to be released next week, but because you're our member, you can also hear it. I'll send it to you."

The time I listened to the songs Sehun sent, I cried. I was sorry. Really sorry for everyone. I listened to the Korean version of the song and smiled between tears that streamed down my cheeks.

I wanted to reply Sehun text. I really wanted to say that he was doing well with his Rapp part. He was improving a lot. But I did none of that. I couldn't give Sehun false hopes.

"I want to go to Bugak Skyway. Wanna come with me? Or do you want to go to Han river?"

In the middle of my practice, Sehun texted me. I was exhausted from the dance practice for my soon to be released solo album. And I knew that Sehun must be tired form EXO's schedule. Again, I really wanted to reply the message. I wanted to say sorry for my love.

"You are really leaving? Jongin said you will be realising an album soon. So you won't come back?"

"Answer me!"

"What about the promise?! You said we will always walk together forever. You said you'll always by my side. Where are you now when I need you really bad? What have I done that you do this to me?"

That day I cried again. Sehun hates me. For sure. I wanted to hug him and apologize. But I couldn't. I wouldn't.

I could only wrote a song.

"Right now, whenever I open my eyes

I have to endure the silence that is without you by my side

That three words that you always wanted to hear.. is it too late to say it now?

Because I'm still loving you."

And I'd always do. I'd always love Sehun. I'd always wanted to be the best boyfriend for Sehun. My "Cinderella Girl".

"My girl.. If we could really rewind the time..

My girl.. I want to be your best boyfriend..

My girl.. At this moment I can only dream about it.
I'm lonely and there's nobody to talk to..

Oh my girl.. Sometimes I want to smile.
Oh my girl, but there's nothing around me..

My girl..

I thought the memory would be beautiful, but what left in the ending is just the pain."

.

.

"Taozi~"

I opened my eyes slowly when my mom placed her palm on my forehead. The smell of medicine thick in my nose. My voice weak when I said yes to my mom.

I saw my mom's sweet smile towards me. She caressed my now red hair lovingly.

"Shixun called. "

I sighed loudly at the mentioned name. Turning my head aside when I felt like my tears would burst out again.

"Talk to him once, my boy."

"Ma.. Please. I can't. Not now. I'm not ready to talk to him yet." I said. Voice still low. I still felt very weak. The lack of food on my system weakened me. I only got food with intravenous feeding.

Damn. It's only a week before my first mini concert. And I was here, in the hospital. Weak. Vulnerable.

"You won't ever be ready, will you? He called night and day. He texted too. He asked about your condition.. he knew your condition." My mom said smoothly.

I brought my free hand to my eyes. Still trying hard not to cry. "I disappointed him, Ma. I can't face him." My sobs could be heard in between my breath.

My mom still caressing my hair. "I don't think he cares about it now. He was worried about you. Talk to him now."

I felt my mom pulled my hand and put my phone on top of my palm. I stared at her hesitantly but she just smiled at me.

"I have to see the doctor now." With that she left my nursing room.

I took my phone and lift it up so I could easily look at it. I slide my thumb over the screen and stopped. My mom had opened the text Sehun sent me and now I could read the recent texts.

"What's happened? Are you alright? You're in the hospital?!"

"Answer my call! Please?"

I inhaled deeply before pressing the dial icon. It's only the second beep when he picked my call.

"Stupid panda! What's happened to you?! It's only a week before your concert. Is that photo spreading in the naver is really you?! Why don't you ever answer my calls? My texts! Why dont you-"

"Hun.." I cut his blabbers before he asked more. "I'm sorry." I said through hoarse voice. "I really sorry."

There was silent. He didn't say a thing. His breath was the only thing I heard through the call. But after some times, I could hear sobs from the other line.

"I miss you.. stupid. Stupid. Stupid. You stupid panda."

He was crying. And I couldn't stop myself to cry either.

"I'm sorry." I said again.

"Don't." He whispered. "Don't be sorry. I should be the one who said that. I couldn't take care of you. I should have.. I should have took care of you more. I'm sorry.. I'm sorry Tao."

"It's okay Hunhun."

"I miss you." Sehun sobbed harder, and my chest couldn't be more hurt than it was at that time.

"Please, don't cry." I begged. "I'm sorry, please don't cry.. I.. I love you Sehun."

"I love you too.. hyung."

There was silence again. I had sooooo much thing to tell about.. to him. But that time suddenly I didn't know what to say. I just heard his little sobs.

"Come here. To my concert." I tried to joke. Half joke. Of course. I knew I'd be the happiest person if he come to my concert. But I know that wouldn't be happened.

"I asked manager hyung about that." Sehun said between sniffles. "He against it, though."

I smiled bitterly. "I know. You must be really busy with the other."

"I miss you." He whined. "We miss you."

Inhaled deeply, I let my eyelids closed slowly. "I miss you too. I miss you all. But we can't meet. Not right now. EXO-L's hate me."

"No! They don't. They love you." Sehun whispered. It hurt me to hear his sobs. It hurt even more to know that I was the caused of his tears. "It's okay. We can't meet in this near time. We can meet up again next year.. or two or three years again." He laughed between his sniff.

"Hun.."

He hummed as an answer.

"I have a request."

"What is it?"

I inhaled deeply.

"Hunhun.. please wait for me."

-FIN-

The world need more TaoHun.

Anyway, i finished it on September so, if you read it now you may got no feel got no feel (oh it remind me of Mingyu).

It is also posted right after I finished it in AFF. And that italic words are 's Cinderella Girl's lyrics. I and my fellow Taohunies are believe that this song (as well as Imperial Crown) was written for Sehun. Hahaha. I love TH!

So, RnR?