Author's Notes
Spoilers for "NSF Thurmont." Ignore everything that happens in the 6th and 7th seasons. Leo does not have a heart attack, CJ is still Press Secretary.
Partly inspired by the ER episode "Body and Soul" (aired 2/2/06). James Woods plays a professor with ALS. I'm not saying you have to watch that episode to understand my story, but if you have, you'll have an idea where I'm trying to take this.
Kudos to my betas, Pat and Louisa. Many thanks for all your help.
The West Wing is owned by Aaron Sorkin, John Wells, NBC, etc. Not me.
Colonel Leahy: … We'll send her up for an MRI. … With the anemia and low blood pressure, Ms. Moss may have suffered what's called a hypoxic brain injury. Decreased oxygen to the brain can cause brain damage. paraphrased from NSF Thurmont
We Interrupt This Mets Game PrologueApartment of White House Deputy Chief of Staff Joshua Lyman
September 2000
9:30 pm
Donnatella Moss handed her boss a beer and placed the envelope she'd been instructed to retrieve on the coffee table. "Wow, the Mets are really getting creamed," she informed him.
Josh glared at her. "I'm already depressed. You don't have to rub it in."
She took a seat next to him on the couch. "Did you do your exercises?"
"Yes, Mom," he replied.
"You need to do the exercises three times a day," Donna reminded her boss.
He rolled his eyes. "I know, dear," he said through gritted teeth. "Is Keaton still lobbying for that bill?" he suddenly asked.
Donna swatted his arm. "I explicitly told you no work!" She leaned back into the sofa cushions.
"Hey, I read the papers."
"You shouldn't be doing that. The rules ---"
"Yeah, the rules."
"If you insist on reading the newspaper, you're limited to sports and comics."
"Whoever invented these stupid rules needs to get their head examined," he muttered.
Donna pretended to look insulted. "You want to get better, don't you, Joshua."
She could see the envelope out of the corner of her eye; to prevent her attention from wandering where it shouldn't, she stared at the television.
"Keep taking away all my fun and I won't, Donnatella."
"You call that fun? It's called 'work,' Josh."
"What can I say? It's my life."
"No wonder you never get laid. Your priorities are totally screwed."
"I happen to be in high demand with the ladies." If he was 100, Donna was almost positive the man would be up and swaggering. "I'll have you know, I've got fans."
"And I've got swampland in Jersey I'll sell you." She looked over to the mysterious envelope once more. "They really do have swampland there. Cranberry bogs."
"Believe it or not, Donna, but I actually already knew that."
"What's in the envelope?" she suddenly asked. When he looked nervous, she quickly added: "Never mind, it's personal."
He gestured toward the item in question. "Open it."
Donna carefully tore open the envelope and lifted out the papers inside. As she unfolded forms marked "Medical Power of Attorney" and "Living Will," her mouth dropped open.
Josh muted the Mets game; that was the moment Donna realized how serious this conversation would be. "If something happens to me, I want you to be in charge," he said into the shocked silence.
"If something happens? Getting shot in the chest doesn't count?" she asked faintly.
"What if the bullet didn't hit my chest? What if I was shot in the head?" He paused a moment, letting that very real possibility sink in for both of them. "I don't want to be kept alive artificially if there's no brain function or I'm in pain from an end-stage terminal illness. I trust you, Donna. I know you'll do what you think best for me."
Donna looked at him curiously. "What about your mom?"
"My mom's well in her seventies," he pointed out. "I don't want to burden her with this."
Donna wondered for the umpteenth time if other assistants had "take care of your boss" as part of their job descriptions. However much that frustrated her at times, she knew that if their roles were reversed he would not leave her side. And she was incredibly honored to be asked.
"I'll do it," she said finally. "But on one condition --- "
"Just one?" he asked, grinning.
" --- That you'll do the same for me. If there's no brain function and no chance of recovery, don't keep me hooked to machines."
What if something happens to me, and, god forbid, I suffer brain damage? Donna wondered then. Not as severe as permanent vegetative state or brain death, but enough that I can't function the same? My father's health hasn't been great since his heart attack. And forget my mom, she's still in denial about Brian and me. She could never handle something that serious.
Donna examined the top of her beer bottle as she twirled it in circles in her hands, unnecessary worries flooding her mind. Oh god! Am I going to end up in some nursing home? What if I can't work anymore? Josh won't have any use for me and I ---
Josh's voice broke through her frazzled thoughts. "What is it?"
Donna chose her next words carefully. "Have you ever thought about what would happen if you lost your ability to function as … as Joshua Lyman?"
Josh leaned towards her. "The egotistical jackass everyone knows and loves?" The dimples made a quick appearance, and then he grew serious again. "I trust that my agent – that's you if you accept – would make the right decisions. If I can recover, that's one thing. But if I can't, find a good place for me and go on with your life. You already took care of me this summer, you shouldn't have to do it again. I'd love for you to visit me, if that's not too much to ask. But I want you to have a life that doesn't revolve around me.
"All I ask is one thing." He smiled. "Even if I don't completely understand my surroundings, don't let me miss a Mets game. Think you could handle that?"
She nodded. I would do whatever it takes, Josh. You know that.
"How about you?" he asked. "What's your worst-case scenario?"
"I don't know," she admitted. "My parents are useless when it comes to those situations. And I don't even want to think about you terrorizing any new assistant." She stared at the television. Mets score. Wow. "What if I can't work anymore? I'd probably end up in some nursing home in Madison, just a blip on your --- "
"No, you wouldn't!" her boss blurted out. "You'll come home with me."
She stared at him as if he'd grown a second head. "Are you out of your mind?"
"I'd take care of you," he promised. "I'd quit my job if I had to."
He's not serious, is he? I'm just an assistant. He's Deputy Chief of Staff to the President of the United States. Someone that high up in the government can't just throw everything away like that.
"You can't do it, Josh. Do you have any idea what it would look like if you quit your job for some secretary?" Donna held up a hand to stifle his protests. "Politics is your life. You've worked so hard to get where you are. I don't want you giving that up just for me."
"You're more important than politics," Josh said quietly. "If anything happened to you --- "
"All I want to know is that I'm not alone. That someone's looking out for me."
"You won't be alone," Josh promised, and raised his beer bottle. "Here's to hoping this conversation never comes true," he said.
Donna raised her own bottle and clinked it against his. "Amen!"