I don't own anything about the transformers, just writing this for fun and nothing more!
I loved the reviews I got from my last story…thanks everyone, you're most generous! After I wrote "A Valentine for Megatron" this idea just came to me. I hope you like it! B. Bailey
Megatron sat unnerved on his throne, alone in his quarters at Dark Mount.
Valentine's Day was nearly on them and he was going to spend it like he did every holiday, alone.
"I know I should not let this ridiculous holiday bother me," Megatron murmured. "I am the mighty Megatron!"
With a low sigh, he turned away and rested his chin plate in his hand.
He had gotten a love note not long ago, but alas, it wasn't meant for him.
Glancing towards the window, he spied all sorts of femme bots giggling; each of them busily working.
"Femme bots everywhere, yet not a one has found her way into my heart." He moaned.
Suddenly the screen to his main computer flashed on, the face of his old enemy, Optimus Prime staring back at him.
"Greetings, Megatron," he said, nodding in silent hello.
"Optimus Prime," Megatron breathed, also nodding in return. "Why do you call me here at Dark Mount?"
"I was with Elite One last week and she informed me of a certain letter that was mailed to you by mistake."
"That old thing?" Megatron tried to brush it away. "I threw it out. I'm sorry, did you want it?"
"It is alright." Optimus shrugged. "Elite one writes me too many anyway."
Megatron squirmed uneasily, but he forced himself not to show it. Yes, he was jealous of his enemy.
"Why are you bothering me then?" he growled.
"I wanted to wish you a happy Valentine's Day." Optimus said softly. "Though I am sorry that you will be spending it alone, as usual."
Megatron felt his energon boil. How dare Optimus come calling Dark Mount and then getting all pompous, acting as though he was God's gift to the femme bots?
"For your information, I won't be spending it alone." He said, lifting his chin plate. "I have femme bots crawling all over the place, fighting for a few minutes to be in my charging unit."
"Oh, very well then," Optimus Prime saluted, stifling a chuckle. "Have fun, Optimus Prime, out."
Megatron gave a low harrumph, sneering at the blank screen.
"That arrogant Prime thinks he knows everything."
Just outside of Megatron's doors, a group of Decepticons gathered, whispering among themselves.
"Megatron hasn't been out of his room in days." Thundercracker mentioned. "I wonder what has our leader so upset."
"Someone said he is lacking in female company, if you know what I mean." Skywarp whispered, nudging Thundercracker with his elbow.
"No, what do you mean?" Thundercracker gave him a puzzled look.
"You know…" Skywarp smiled, giving him a knowing look.
"No, tell me."
"I…uh…ok, I don't know either." Skywarp frowned, staring at the floor.
"He would like to know what the feelings of love are and what they possibly mean." Soundwave muttered in his usual robotic voice.
"Huh, love?" Skywarp said, scratching his head. "Our mighty leader wants to love a female?"
"We have a lot of femme bots working outside of Dark Mount." Astrotrain remarked, glancing over his shoulder at the various femme bots slaving under the silver moon of Cybertron. "We should get one for him."
"Let's do."
Marching to the front of Dark Mount, Astrotrain slid open a crystal window and poked his head out.
"Hey, which one of you lucky ladies would like a night with the mighty Megatron?"
A blue and silver femme bot stopped her work and stared unbelievably. "Are you kidding? I don't have time for dates; I have more important things to do."
"What about you, MoonFire?" he asked, spying the beautiful gold and red femme bot angrily sweeping a broom towards Dark Mount entry.
"I can't, I'm too busy." She grumbled.
"How can anyone be too busy for Megatron?" he asked.
MoonFire halted her sweeping. "I have a sick mother-bot at home and I have bills to pay. Does Megatron want to pay my rent, buy my energon groceries and pay for my mother-bot's medicine?"
"Well…uh…uh…"
"Yeah, that's what I thought." She barked and then continued with her sweeping.
"How about you, BlackSky?"
A lovely, slim black and blue femme bot stopped hammering and looked up.
"What about me?" she asked.
"How would you like to spend the night with Megatron?"
Kneading her chin, regarding his words, she smiled. "I would, but you see I'm gay and I prefer the company of other femme bots, sorry."
MoonFire stopped sweeping and looked back at her. "I didn't know you were gay, dear."
"I wasn't, until now." She said, holding another nail and resuming her trouncing.
"Oh."
Megatron sighed, looking up with hopeful optics when he heard a pounding on his chamber door.
"Enter."
"Mighty Megatron, it is me." Starscream said, leaning his head in the door. "May I come in?"
"Fine, enter." He said. "What do I care?"
"The other Decepticons are talking about you. They think…" Starscream hesitated.
"What? What do they think?" he asked, looking up from his throne.
"They think…oh, it's not important."
"What? What?"
"They think…you…I know it's absurd…but they think…"
"What? For the love of slag, just tell me what?"
"That you're lacking female company in the recharging unit."
"Of course that's absurd, I have plenty of femme bots that satisfy my hunger." He said heatedly, slamming a fist against the arm of his throne. "How dare they say such gossip about me, the mighty Megatron?"
"Ha, I knew it." Starscream said, a smug smile curling across his lips. "Don't worry about what they say, they're just jealous."
"I know."
"You can't help it that you're the greatest leader of all time and they all envy you, our wonderful leader." Starscream praised.
"Oh, tell me something I don't already know, Starscream." Megatron sighed.
"Fine, then I will inform them not to bother with getting you a date for this so-called Valentine's Day."
Megatron's optics grew wide. "What did you say?"
"I said I'll tell…"
"Never mind, I heard what you said." He replied, climbing down from his golden throne. "Why on Cybertron would they think they have to get me a date?"
"They think it's necessary." He explained, watching Megatron pace the floor. "They think you can't get a date of your own."
"I'll show them!" Megatron growled, steam rising from his head plates. "No one says Megatron is ignorant in the ways of the female!"
A few minutes later:
Bustling furiously across the floor, Megatron paused when he heard a soft knock at his door. "Yes, what is it?"
"Megatron, its Astrotrain. I have a surprise for you."
"What is it?"
"I have a femme bot here who wants very desperately to go to the recharge unit with you." He cooed through the door. "Don't you, GoldenBird?"
"What? You said I would be paid an extra energon cube if I fixed Megatron's computer!" The lovely glittering gold femme bot argued through the door. "You're a liar! Wait until I tell Alpha Trion! He has ways of dealing with creeps like you!"
"But GoldenBird, sleeping with Megatron is something every femme bot dreams of doing." Astrotrain said, trying to grasp her by the arm, but she jerked free of his hands.
"Fine, then you sleep with him!" she snarled and then lifting her nose in the air, she gave a low harrumph and stormed out of Dark Mount.
Megatron lowered his optics to the floor, embarrassed by what he heard. He was the leader of the Decepticons and one of the most powerful bots in the universe, why didn't the females go for him?
"They want bots like that infernal Optimus Prime." He murmured under his breath. "It's such the 'in' thing to love the good guys…bah!"
Starscream puffed out his chest and then marched to the door. "Don't worry Megatron. I will tell those idiot-bots a thing or two."
"No, wait!" he cried and then racing past Starscream, he leaned up against the door and muttered low. "I don't need another femme bot; I already have one in here."
"You do?" Astrotrain said through the closed door. "Who's in there?"
"Her name is…uh…never mind what her name is." He grumbled. "We want to be left alone."
Megatron stood listening through the door, hoping his lie was convincing. He had a reputation to uphold, after all.
"See? We were worried over nothing." Skywarp said, chortling. "No wonder old Megs ain't been out of his chamber in days. He's got a femme bot in there."
"I knew our leader still has it." Thundercracker agreed.
Megatron smiled. If only it were true, but his followers believed it and that was enough for him, for now.
"Hey, Megatron," Blitzwing called through the door. "Fill us in, what've you been doing in there?"
Panic seized Megatron. Turning to Starscream, he grasped him about the shoulders. "Help me out with this; pretend to be a femme bot!"
"What?" Starscream gasped, taken aback. "But why?"
"You know why, now shut up and do it."
"I can't."
Megatron gritted his metal teeth. He hated to beg, but his priceless reputation was in danger at this delicate moment.
"Do this for me and I'll give you what ever you want!"
"What ever I want, really?" Starscream asked, cocking his head to one side.
"Yes, for the love of slag…yes!"
"I want to be leader of the Decepticons." He said, beaming.
"Anything, but that."
"Alright, I want to be second in command and able to claim leadership if, God forbid, something ever happens to you." He declared.
"You already have that status." Megatron growled. "How about I offer you the chance to walk out of here alive?"
"Ok, works for me." He stammered nervously.
Giving Starscream a hard glare, Megatron went to the door and said casually. "We're really going at it and she is hot and panting for more." He said loudly and then looking at Starscream, he gave a knowing nod of his head, a cue to follow his lead.
Clearing his throat, Starscream called out in a voice more high pitched then his own. "Oh yes, we're all hot and bothered in here!"
"That sounds like Starscream." Thundercracker yelled through the entry.
"No, it's not Starscream." Megatron blurted. "Her name is…uh…TinkleFairy."
"We do not have record of any such femme bot with the name of TinkleFairy on Cybertron." Soundwave's voice vibrated.
"How do you know?" Megatron roared, his hands clenched into tight fists. "Are you calling me a liar?"
"No, please accept my apologies." Soundwave quickly hummed and then darted away.
"Now, if you don't mind, I am rather busy in here." He replied and then leaning away from the door, he said. "Say something about kissing me, Starscream."
"Oh…Kiss me, stupendous leader." He choked, his optics wavering around the room.
"Wow, Megatron really has that femme under his spell." Blitzwing murmured.
Smiling, pleased with the compliments, he waved at Starscream to keep up the deception.
"Uh, come over here and show me how to make this recharge unit, Meggie." He cooed in mock admiration.
"I am coming, TinkleBall." He said, purposely stomping towards his recharging unit.
"You mean, TinkleFairy." Starscream corrected in a fake feminine voice.
"Jump on the recharging unit and pretend that we are making love." Megatron said low.
"What?"
"You heard me, jump!" he grumbled.
"Yes, mighty Megatron." Starscream swallowed hard and then climbing on Megatron's bed, he began jumping up and down.
The unit squeaked and groaned, giving anyone listening to the noise the impression that he was having sex.
"Listen to Megatron go!" Skywarp laughed. "He's really giving it to that femme."
Happy with how things were going, Megatron went to his hot tub and climbed in. He laid back in the hot swirling energon and relaxed, sighing in contentment.
"Uh…Megatron, can I stop now?" Starscream asked, still bouncing.
"No, you'll have to keep it up for a while." He said, dimming his optics. "I do have a reputation to uphold, you know."
Five hours later:
"Please, Megatron." Starscream cried, near exhaustion. "Can I stop now?"
Megatron sat upright in the hot tub and stretched. "Hmmm? Oh, I must have fallen asleep. What did you say?"
"Please! Can I stop now?" he begged, still hopping up and down uncontrollably.
"No, keep going." He said, slinking back in the hot energon. "I can keep this up all night long."
"Please, I can't take anymore!" The seeker pleaded, still bouncing. "I hurt all over!"
"Oh, stop whining." He sneered. "You act like a little baby sometimes."
Outside Megatron's door:
"Did you hear that?" Thundercracker asked his optics wide. "He's still going at it!"
"He's really showing that femme bot who's boss." Skywarp laughed.
"I know when Megatron comes out in the morning, let's all stand around and start clapping." Astrotrain stated. "Let's show him how impressed we are with his romantic skills!"
In the early morning hours:
"Oh, mighty Megatron…please may I quit now?" Starscream wailed, still jumping, though uneven and slow now. "I can't handle anymore."
"Fine, it is morning." He muttered. "I'm sure everyone is gone by now."
Dog-tired, Starscream stopped and then dropped from the unit, panting heavily. "Oh, my whole body hurts! My legs are aching!"
"Stop your infernal whining and clean off that recharging unit before you go." Megatron groused, brushing past him and sitting at his computer desk. "I don't want to recharge in any of your body oil."
"I just jumped on it, that's all." Starscream said, rubbing his knees.
"Close the door on your way out." He muttered.
"Megatron?"
"Yes?"
"Will you call me?"
"Get out of here!" he roared, his optics flashing bright red.
"Yes…sir." He whimpered, opening the door.
Just as he stepped out into the shadowy corridors of Dark Mount, a horde of a hundred or more Decepticons began clapping and chanting, shouting, "Megatron got laid!" and then stopped abruptly, a sudden hush blowing over them as they watched in disbelief as Starscream stumbled out, clearly beat.
"Starscream?" everyone cried in unison.
"Uh…it's not what you think." He stuttered, swallowing hard.
"Starscream!" Megatron bellowed from inside his chamber. "I thought I told you to clean your blasted oil off of my recharging unit!"
Sighing heavily, Megatron stormed out into the hall, yelling. "I am not recharging in your mess! It's bad enough I had to put up with you're bouncing in it all night!" he growled and then gasped his mouth agape when he saw the whole corridor filled with gawking Decepticons.
"Uh…oh dear." He murmured.
End.