Title : MEA CULPA
Author: beehr4shiri (aka antarian female)
Disclaimer: Proud owner of NOTHING...yet! But I have it in my planner! (wink(
Category: M/L, AU (and other CC couples)
Rating: PG (and maybe some R/NC-17 parts later, but I will warn)
Summary: Can two emotionally damaged people once again find their way back to love?
Spoilers: None
Author note: Peeps, feedback is essential! More feedback, more story, please? (tongue(Any feedback! Cause I suffer from these periods of self- pity, when I don`t get feedback, and then I start having writers block, which finally leads to apathy. And than all I wanna do is lay in my bed for days and watch my Roswell tapes! So PLEASE, leave feedback and I will be eternally greatful!(angel(OK, I think you get the gist of it. I`m out...(grin(
Part 1
***************************
(b( It's been a while
Since I could hold my head up high
It's been awhile
Since I first saw you
It's been awhile
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
It's been awhile
Since I could call you(/b(
Sun was slowly lowering on the horizon, bringing closer yet another night over Roswell, Nex Mexico. One of city`s hottest summers ever was on its dying breath and towners were counting seconds until sudden breeze would hit the streets, bringing some so much needed relief. Hours passed by and soon, after midnight struck, most homues were lulled into sleep. Only few steps beyond city limits, a house was still lit.
It was smaller, more family - styled building, inspiring awe and closeness in viewer`s mind, but nothing even similar was close to the situation playing out inside of it. In one of the rooms, man and woman led deeply emotional discussion. From time to time, a woman would hiccup and swallow lines of tears that fell down her cheeks.
Man stood by the window, feeling lost, with his back to her, looking out in the night. He was shaking his head.
Didn`t she understand why he was doing this? Didn`t she see how much being in this house hurt?
"Max, please! Can`t you just deal with it here? With us, your family? Do you really have to move to the other side of the country?" cried huskily Isabel Evans, young pediatrician and only sister to the man in question.
Just one year older than Max, Isabel lived through everything her brother did. But if she ever had the chance to have her wish coming true, it would be for past 5 years to be brought back.
A man painfully sighed, closing his eyes at the onsloth of despere.
"Iz..."
There was nothing more to say. He just needed to get out of this town.
He knew he couldn`t turn back time and save one person he cherished most at that stage of his life, but why was that all he ever tried doing was exactly that?. He didn`t deserve to be happy...
Tess, his girlfriend of 3 years, was gone and Max felt as if there was nothing left to live for in this world. And they were so full of life and plansthat day 5 years ago. Why didn`t he see that damn truck coming their way? Why did she die in that car and he lived?
God, if life wanted to pull a joke on him, it sure did its job well!
And to think that prom was meant as something to be remembered all his life...
Oh, yeah, he sure remembered it well!
Instead cries of ecstasy, as two of them planned to make love together for the first time, right after the prom, that night only cries of pain came from burning vehicle at the bottom of the canyon...life-chilling screams that travelled through the air at the speed of light, as if trying to reach its destination as fast as possible, bringing ultimate pain.
And as he layed 500 feet from the car, thrown out of it as they flew over the edge, his both legs and his left arm broken, he saw helplessly his entire future extinguished in the flames.
Next thing he knew, he woke up in the hospital one month later, anguished and alone, remembering the accident as if it happened yesterday. Only thing that he didn`t want to remember was etched deep in his mind, leaving him staring for days with blank eyes out the hospital window.
What was point of loving when all you ever got in return was pain? Where was this wonderful and fulfilling existence that was promised to him long ago? When was HIS turn to finally be happy?
Woman`s cry brought Max out of his thoughts. Isabel, his dear sister weeped her heart out. God, he wished he didn`t hurt people around him with everything he did! Isabel certainly didn`t deserve that from him, since she was the sweetest he knew. But, still Max felt as if he was coming short of air lately.
"Max, you promise to call and write every day? I need to know you are alright." pleaded Isabel desperately to her brother.
Max glanced at her slowly, wanting so muchto just pull her in his arms and say that she didn`t need to cry for him, but he stopped himself. He will just leave for a while and maybe some time away from everything will make him come to terms with his life...
Then he nodded, aknowledging her pleads. Isabel smiled through her tears and Max, although trying to stay as unemotional as possible, he couldn`t stop smallest of smiles from forming on his lips.
"And, Max, any time you need to talk, you know you can call me. Whenever you`re ready, I`ll be there to do my best to help you as always, you do know that, right?" asked Isabel.
Max once more nodded.
"Is, maybe you should go home. Mom and dad are probably asking themselves where the hell are you at this time of night!"
Although tears formed in his amber eyes, Max laughed. Is grinned.
"Yeah, I`m sure they think I`m parading through Roswell on some hunk`s hand!"
Both laughed now. It felt so good to laugh...
"So, you want me to come tommorrow to see you off?" Max shook his head.
"No, Iz, you know how much I hate long goodbyes. Anyway, I`ll call you the minute I find a place to stay, so you didn`t have to worry, OK? Izzy, you understand I have to do this, right?
It`s been 5 years and I can`t sleep through the night without waking up screaming.
I feel like any day now I will just stop breathing..." choked Max painful sigh.
Isabel looked at her brother with sympathy. He was so msitreated by life, it wasn`t even funny...
She stood up, walked over to where Max stood and pulled him in a tight hug. He hugged her closely, resting his chin on her shoulder.
"Just call me. I will explain to our parents some of the reasons for your departure."
With that said, siblings separated and Max followed his older sister to the door. Before leaving the house, Isabel turned to Max, with last minute advice.
"Max, please, don`t shut people out. Whether you believe it now or not, there still is someone just for you out there in the world. You just have to try and open up your heart to love..."
Max said nothing to that. There was nothing he would want more than to be able to love again, but his heart just wasn`t alive anymore. And anyway, the safest way was to just not feel ANYTHING...
So he hugged Isabel, kissed her forehead, saying goodbye to one person he trusted with all his heart. And with sound of a car leaving his driveway, one chapter of his life closed.
Now all he had to do was get out of here and try to forget the past.
Author: beehr4shiri (aka antarian female)
Disclaimer: Proud owner of NOTHING...yet! But I have it in my planner! (wink(
Category: M/L, AU (and other CC couples)
Rating: PG (and maybe some R/NC-17 parts later, but I will warn)
Summary: Can two emotionally damaged people once again find their way back to love?
Spoilers: None
Author note: Peeps, feedback is essential! More feedback, more story, please? (tongue(Any feedback! Cause I suffer from these periods of self- pity, when I don`t get feedback, and then I start having writers block, which finally leads to apathy. And than all I wanna do is lay in my bed for days and watch my Roswell tapes! So PLEASE, leave feedback and I will be eternally greatful!(angel(OK, I think you get the gist of it. I`m out...(grin(
Part 1
***************************
(b( It's been a while
Since I could hold my head up high
It's been awhile
Since I first saw you
It's been awhile
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
It's been awhile
Since I could call you(/b(
Sun was slowly lowering on the horizon, bringing closer yet another night over Roswell, Nex Mexico. One of city`s hottest summers ever was on its dying breath and towners were counting seconds until sudden breeze would hit the streets, bringing some so much needed relief. Hours passed by and soon, after midnight struck, most homues were lulled into sleep. Only few steps beyond city limits, a house was still lit.
It was smaller, more family - styled building, inspiring awe and closeness in viewer`s mind, but nothing even similar was close to the situation playing out inside of it. In one of the rooms, man and woman led deeply emotional discussion. From time to time, a woman would hiccup and swallow lines of tears that fell down her cheeks.
Man stood by the window, feeling lost, with his back to her, looking out in the night. He was shaking his head.
Didn`t she understand why he was doing this? Didn`t she see how much being in this house hurt?
"Max, please! Can`t you just deal with it here? With us, your family? Do you really have to move to the other side of the country?" cried huskily Isabel Evans, young pediatrician and only sister to the man in question.
Just one year older than Max, Isabel lived through everything her brother did. But if she ever had the chance to have her wish coming true, it would be for past 5 years to be brought back.
A man painfully sighed, closing his eyes at the onsloth of despere.
"Iz..."
There was nothing more to say. He just needed to get out of this town.
He knew he couldn`t turn back time and save one person he cherished most at that stage of his life, but why was that all he ever tried doing was exactly that?. He didn`t deserve to be happy...
Tess, his girlfriend of 3 years, was gone and Max felt as if there was nothing left to live for in this world. And they were so full of life and plansthat day 5 years ago. Why didn`t he see that damn truck coming their way? Why did she die in that car and he lived?
God, if life wanted to pull a joke on him, it sure did its job well!
And to think that prom was meant as something to be remembered all his life...
Oh, yeah, he sure remembered it well!
Instead cries of ecstasy, as two of them planned to make love together for the first time, right after the prom, that night only cries of pain came from burning vehicle at the bottom of the canyon...life-chilling screams that travelled through the air at the speed of light, as if trying to reach its destination as fast as possible, bringing ultimate pain.
And as he layed 500 feet from the car, thrown out of it as they flew over the edge, his both legs and his left arm broken, he saw helplessly his entire future extinguished in the flames.
Next thing he knew, he woke up in the hospital one month later, anguished and alone, remembering the accident as if it happened yesterday. Only thing that he didn`t want to remember was etched deep in his mind, leaving him staring for days with blank eyes out the hospital window.
What was point of loving when all you ever got in return was pain? Where was this wonderful and fulfilling existence that was promised to him long ago? When was HIS turn to finally be happy?
Woman`s cry brought Max out of his thoughts. Isabel, his dear sister weeped her heart out. God, he wished he didn`t hurt people around him with everything he did! Isabel certainly didn`t deserve that from him, since she was the sweetest he knew. But, still Max felt as if he was coming short of air lately.
"Max, you promise to call and write every day? I need to know you are alright." pleaded Isabel desperately to her brother.
Max glanced at her slowly, wanting so muchto just pull her in his arms and say that she didn`t need to cry for him, but he stopped himself. He will just leave for a while and maybe some time away from everything will make him come to terms with his life...
Then he nodded, aknowledging her pleads. Isabel smiled through her tears and Max, although trying to stay as unemotional as possible, he couldn`t stop smallest of smiles from forming on his lips.
"And, Max, any time you need to talk, you know you can call me. Whenever you`re ready, I`ll be there to do my best to help you as always, you do know that, right?" asked Isabel.
Max once more nodded.
"Is, maybe you should go home. Mom and dad are probably asking themselves where the hell are you at this time of night!"
Although tears formed in his amber eyes, Max laughed. Is grinned.
"Yeah, I`m sure they think I`m parading through Roswell on some hunk`s hand!"
Both laughed now. It felt so good to laugh...
"So, you want me to come tommorrow to see you off?" Max shook his head.
"No, Iz, you know how much I hate long goodbyes. Anyway, I`ll call you the minute I find a place to stay, so you didn`t have to worry, OK? Izzy, you understand I have to do this, right?
It`s been 5 years and I can`t sleep through the night without waking up screaming.
I feel like any day now I will just stop breathing..." choked Max painful sigh.
Isabel looked at her brother with sympathy. He was so msitreated by life, it wasn`t even funny...
She stood up, walked over to where Max stood and pulled him in a tight hug. He hugged her closely, resting his chin on her shoulder.
"Just call me. I will explain to our parents some of the reasons for your departure."
With that said, siblings separated and Max followed his older sister to the door. Before leaving the house, Isabel turned to Max, with last minute advice.
"Max, please, don`t shut people out. Whether you believe it now or not, there still is someone just for you out there in the world. You just have to try and open up your heart to love..."
Max said nothing to that. There was nothing he would want more than to be able to love again, but his heart just wasn`t alive anymore. And anyway, the safest way was to just not feel ANYTHING...
So he hugged Isabel, kissed her forehead, saying goodbye to one person he trusted with all his heart. And with sound of a car leaving his driveway, one chapter of his life closed.
Now all he had to do was get out of here and try to forget the past.