Author's Notes: When in Italics Bel is talking out loud to himself.
Any other time Bel's thinking to himself…not wanting to sound like a complete idiot.
Disclaimer: I don't own KHR but I wish I did…sorry this sucked
Bel's POV- Crying in his own room
I thought I hated you. No I know I hated you. So why do I feel like this?
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People who feel dead mentally is no different than being dead physically right?
People like that are better off dead anyways.
I laugh at those weaklings.
Why do I feel dead?
I'm a prince. And a prince should never be like this.
A prince is meant to be constantly entertained.
Screams of useless peasants as they run for their lives, with beautiful crimson liquid flowing from their vital organs.
That's the best entertainment I could ask for.
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Will my smile ever be as true as it was when you were here?
Will this smile ever become as wide as it was when I thought I killed my brother?
This smile can make even the Cheshire cat cry from terror.
Yet this prince's smile became fake.
It's just for show now, there's nothing real about it.
Why was my smile shattered so easily?
Me the Psychotic insane Killer [Prince The Ripper].
My smile of all people. Why did it have to be me?
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People who cry are worthless.
If my tears dried up around 12 years ago.
Then why can't I stop crying?
You greedy brat, your making a prince cry. No one should make a prince cry.
"I feel like a fool for loving someone. And for This stupid reason is why love makes you week."
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I hate you.
So why?
Why can't I get you off my mind?
You're just an annoying brat. All you do is get on my nerves.
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I once wished you to die.
I wanted to do it with my own two hands.
No better yet I wanted to dissect you alive with my knives.
Or maybe I could turn your torture into a game somehow. (Prince's love games after all)
But now I'd rather save you than kill you?
"I'm an assassin I kill for fun. Why do I want to save you? It doesn't make sense."
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Isn't it funny how a worthless death can change my thoughts so easily?
I still find joy in a peasants pain and seeing the fear in others eyes.
So why was I willing to risk my life for you and only you?
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I miss the way you got annoyed at the littlest of things.
But that just made me want to annoy you even more.
Now I find your annoyance cute.
The memories of that makes water stream down my face.
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I miss the way you made me pay you so much money. Just for giving you a little hug.
You were like the prince's little toy, a stuffed animal if you want to call it.
But sometimes I'd forget to put the money in your account.
Which is odd because I usually remember little things like that.
"You were the only one that I forgot to give money too."
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I miss the way you and fantasamma seemed to get along, yet at the same time you ignored each other.
Before I didn't understand how that was possible.
Now I know how you were able to get along with that stupid frog like thing.
Because I get along with Visone Tempesta (Storm Mink)
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Because you always had fantasamma sitting on your head.
I'm making Fran wear a hideous frog hat. Ushishishi
"When I see Fran wearing that hat it reminds me of you for some reason.
That's why I'll make him wear it till his death, and if possible he'll wear it to his funeral."
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It's weird how much I miss you.
After all you're nothing but a useless little greedy brat.
"Or are you more than that?"
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Whenever I started a fight, or mocked some one you would listen, to everything I said.
(I know because after the fights you would ask me "Bel why'd you even bother telling Squalo ----- if you knew you'd get yelled at by Xanxus"
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You would listen to all my problems.
(I know because sometimes you'd barge in my room and talk with me to solve them)
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You never told anyone that even a Prince had flaws.
Was it because, if you told the others all they would do is mock me?
Maybe. Just maybe. You actually cared about my feelings.
"If that's the reason. Why did you never tell me that you cared?"
"How come you never shared your problems with me?"
"Was it because you didn't have any? Or maybe you had too many to share."
I wanted you to share your problems with me. I wanted to be able to help you with something.
Back then I just wanted to help you because in return I probably wouldn't have to give you my precious money.
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You were the only one who paid attention to me.
Was it because you were amused that even a prince has flaws?
Or was it that you were interested in what I had to say?
All of these stupid memories makes me drown in my own tears.
"How annoying my pillow's drenched from all of these flash backs"
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Sense your death I have never wanted to dissect anyone more than you.
Perhaps it's because I love you.
Of course that includes your insides… I want see them. I want to tare you apart and rip you to shreds.
"I'm terrible for wanting to dissect the person I love.?"
Yet at the same time I never wanted you to leave my side the way you did. I wanted to be the one to save you life. I wanted to be there for you at the time of your death not that blond brat "Colonello"
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You went off and killed yourself.
Why'd you do that?
That's what weak people do.
But I know you're not weak.
Actually you were one of the strongest people I knew, maybe not in hand to hand combat but when it comes to illusions you were one of the best.
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Fran.
That idiot.
Does he know that no one can and never will be able to take you're place?
Once something's disappeared it can't be returned to its original form.
It's just like after you get cut, your left with a scar.
On some occasions a scar might fade a bit, but no matter what you do that scar will always be there.
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Are psychotic killers even able to love someone?
I know the definition and I know the symptoms.
But yet it feels as if I don't know it at all.
Is this love that I feel for that greedy brat?
No. it can't be.
I hate him.
Yet why do I cry over him?
He's the first person I've ever cried for.
You little brat your lucky. Not every one gets to have a prince that cry's every night for them to come back.
"Give him back. I want mammon back."
XXXXXXXX*Bel snaps out of depression now*XXXXXXXX
No I know this is Love.
So Mammon I never said this and you'll never here it. Yet I have to say it.
"Ore ai shteru Mammon" (Mammon I love you)
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I'm a prince and a prince can't let himself die just because of a little depression.
Please Review
Next is Mammon's POV