CHAPTER I

Being surgeon will never be easy. You have to face your fear every time you cutting people open. It has rushed, accuracy, precision, and patience. You decide in what life the people in front of your table will be. Better or worse, it's a choice, but you can't choose. You do whatever you have to do, but God is the one who'll decide. You start your journey in medical school, get the M.D degree and continue as intern in surgery dept., pass a test and you'll step closer to be a real surgeon, but first, past your residency.

I was applied to Harvard University, which is a totally crazy idea. Only a real genius can get in. I mean, Harvard is the first rank university in the world, and faculty of medicine is the most wanted program. I'm not that kind of the genius. I mess up, my life is pretty damn bad. Well, everybody already visualize that when hearing about "unwanted child". Whatever. So, I thought about UCLA, University of California, Los Angeles. It has a good medicine program. Even pretty far from New York, yeah I live here. New York. Its about 2.448 mil apart. But I always have a dream about discover a new world, far from home, built my own life. I know what I'm doing, if I get in, I might not see my parent like, five or six years? Don't think I'm rich, I barely even eat three times a day. So I can't go back to New York every week or month.

I work hard, or I guess so. I studied day and night, repeating the same lesson until I throw up. Short stories, I get in to UCLA. My step-father accompanies me moving to LA. I don't bring much stuff, just some clothes, pants, some photo of my parents and Claire. Did I mention her before? She's my step-sister, but I really love her, like my own sister, a real one. And I live in dorm here. First thought when I get in this sizable room is; it's gonna be amazing. It's all perfect before the small girl, coming in and introduces herself as Clary McLight. I don't like to share my private room with another girl. I don't like chit chat. I'm a quiet.

After some time passes, this Clary kid not that bad as I thought. She's nice, generous, she understand when to speak and when not. She's bit lazy and number one anatomy haters. It is a basic lesson in medical, and she hates it, like really hate it. "Even tongue can be twisted just to say a word." Clary sputters. Meanwhile I do love it, like a lot. I learn so many cool names in anatomy, you don't even know if I mention it. So let's talk about something else.

I'll tell you a little about my times in college. I spent two years living in a dormitory with Clary. Like I said, she's a good kid, but lazy. I had told her to learn all the time, day and night. She had to repeat first year twice because she doesn't pass anatomy three times. She sobbed when she saw the announcement board. I feel sorry for her. So, I forced her to learn every time, with minimal rest. I know it was cruel. But I'm not going to let her mess it up again. Because the consequence is drop out. At the end of my third year, Clary and I moved to a small house near campus. The house was owned by Oliver Wood family. One of my classmates. His parents moved to Chicago, so I moved here with Clary. We three stayed here. Of course our parents warned about the "no funny business".

Have I mention that I was gay? Yeah. My biological father is totally jack ass. He broke my heart and my mother's too. I'm okay with mine, but I'm not cool about it to my mom's. She's the one who fight for me. She worked hard to earn money, take care of me from abusive father. She was so gentle and kind. And I wonder why she remained with this evil man until 15 years. She deserve better. So I choose this way. My way. I can't deal feelings thing with guy. They're very easy to waste anything. But I swear to myself, that I will love my wife, whoever will be as much as I can.

Now here I am. Brittney Susan Pierce, MD. I become a real surgeon. Cardiothoracic surgeon. I'm about to flight back to LA when I met this girl. We met on the plane, I sat next to her, I think it was her right. Yeah, her right. And for your information, I'm not a funny person, I hardly even smile when people try to joke around me. It's kinda irritating actually, I know, but I can't change it. Or, I thought I can't change it.

"Hey, can I help? Your stuff look heavy" I tried to speak as friendly as possible

"Uh, yeah, it keep stuck, won't get in." She let me help her. I may be a girl, but I am strong, much more than ordinary woman, I train my muscles every day. Especially when I was in the army.

"Thanks." She smiled, I can't forget that smile, it won't get out of my head. Maybe it is the most beautiful smile I've ever seen. I don't know how long I stared at this girl's face, until she cleared her throat

"Uh, yeah, anytime" I replied.

Did I smile to her back? I don't know. Maybe not. My faces turns too serious if something make me interest. Then we sit. In silence. Quiet. What do you expect, huh? I can't get so easy to talk. I like silence, its peace, makes me can think. But now, it's not peace, its noisy, like crowded people, talking in my head. One says "talk!" and other says "it's not your style, what do you care?". I keep staring my shoes, don't know for how long, I tried to make a sound, but my voice won't get out. I didn't even realize stewardess asking me if I want some water. But that time, I got my moment. A moment to start conversation; let's hope I don't mess up.

"Hi, want get some drink? She already standing there asks you for five times." The owners of an amazing smile ask.

"Uh, no, thanks. I mean yes, I'd love to have some" I trying my best to smile. Hoping it's not creepy.

"Stewardess is on your right" She's smile, again. Blowing my mind.

"You want some water, ma'am?" Stewardess asking, I quickly turned and shake my head. "I don't want one, I'm good. I'm Brittany Pierce by the way. And you are?" I talk very fast and suddenly raised my hand for a handshake.

I hear that Stewardess grunted to me. But I don't care. Why would I? This smile, I never seen something like this, so beautiful, so rare. I don't know if I fall in love, I forget how's that feel, and I don't believe in love in the first sight. Maybe she's just pretty, or just has a beautiful perfect eyes, lips, and hair whatsoever.

"Santana Lopez" she said. I noticed the way she speaks in slow motion, like my brain is damaged "You okay?"

"Huh? No, I'm kinda confused—I mean I'm okay, totally." She caught me staring at her too long. "What are you doing in LA anyway? You live there?" I tried to act normal as possible.

"I live and work there. But my family all in Mexico. I just go home when Christmas or holiday. I actually a singer" she said happily.

Crap. This isn't happening. Singer? Again? I feel my face changed straight. "Good to know" I reply. I'm trying to get over bad thoughts that immediately crossed my mind when she uttered the word "singer". Because it evokes a bad memory. So we keep talking, about the little things that strangely interested for me. And I laughed heartily, as for the first time this has happened.

-Ladies and Gentleman please fasten your seatbelt, we're about to Landing to LAX.-

The fact that in a few moments we will be up in LA makes me nervous. I do not want this plane to land. I still want to be in the air. What if this was the last time I met this girl? What should I do?

Then here we are now, taking our own bags, off the plane and separated.

"It's really nice to know you" the last sentence I said.

I feel fool, watching she go to her way. Without doing anything.

I apologize if there are wrong words or sentences. English is not my primary language. but I will try to fix it. thanks for reading ;)