How to Be an Effective Group Leader
Rating: PG/ K+ (or whatever they've changed it to grumbles like an old woman), for language
Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine. They belong to, er, whoever it it who created the show/owns the copyrights. Also, the bits in bold are copied from my SPC 1016 notes, so I can't really claim them either.
Summary: Cuddy thinks House skipped out on a leadership seminar. House tries to prove her wrong by showing her his newfound knowledge.
Notes: Just a quick little thing, written mainly in an attempt to study for my Speech class last summer. It didn't really work, but that's because it was a candy course and I already knew it, so. Mainly I was trying to write and not feel I was wasting time... Don't know how well the quips went-- wish it was a bit more clever-- but ah well.
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"So about that seminar."
"You're going to apologize for sending me to it? Thank you. Your acknowledgement that it was a big fat waste of my time is improving my morale tremendously. Or it could just be that shirt you're wearing. Exceptionally unprofessional. Rawr."
Cuddy rolled her eyes and folded her arms. "About your expenses claim," she clarified.
"I'm not going to get away with the minature golf charge, am I?"
"You didn't go to the seminar."
"What! How dare you accuse me of depriving myself of interpersonal chewy goodness."
"Chewy-- oh, never mind. You are required to attend these--"
"I went to the damn seminar."
"Your expenses claim says differently."
"Oh for the love of-- fine, mein Fuhrer. I'll prove it to you. Watch me apply my newfound knowledge to a professional situation."
He pushed open a door, joining his staff. Sighing, she followed; incredibly enough, the effects of not humoring him were always even worse.
Influence: leader must be able to exert influence over the group and at the same time maintain good relations.
"You gonna sit on your asses and read the paper or are you going to take a little time out of your busy schedule to actually save the patients?" House snatched the newspaper out of Chase's hands.
"Hey, I was reading that--!"
"Let's see what your horoscope is for today. What's your sign? Virgo? It says listen to your boss, for he is wiser than you will ever know. And it also says to change your tie. Jeeze."
"What the hell's wrong with my tie?"
"Could we get on with this?" Foreman asked, irritated.
"Just my point!"
Credibility: leader must maintain his or her credibility as a leader.
"Arlene Maxwell, presenting with headache, sinus problems, and one acute seizure yesterday at the late night showing of Bridget Jones. Well, that could cause the headache, but we still have to figure out the rest. Who's for a CAT scan?"
"We all were," Cameron said.
"Yeah, we did that yesterday," Chase said.
"She had a brain tumor, so we kicked her over to Wilson. She's not in great shape, but she stands a pretty decent chance." Foreman sipped his coffee.
"And she had a cold," Cameron said. "That was the sinus trouble. Oh, and her name was Maxine."
"...Right. Wait, Maxine Maxwell?"
"Yeah."
"The hell kind of parent would do that to a child?"
"..."
Goal Commitment: leader must remain committed to the group's goal and encourage other members to also remain committed.
"Maxine Maxwell." House shook his head. "Okay. Scratch that. Who wants to play hooky and go get some beer?"
Chase raised a hand. After a moment, he noticed the other two looking at him in faint disgust. "What!"
Group Maintenance: leader must maintain the relationships that exist among the group members.
"I don't believe you," said Cameron.
"What, so it's fine when House says it, but if I say I'd rather be out drinking beer I'm a horrible person?"
"I didn't say you were a horrible person!" Cameron cried.
"Though you kind of are," Foreman added, very quietly.
"Why the hell are you all ganging up on--"
Member Dominance: the leader must guard against one menber dominating the group (including themselves).
"Meeting's over! Shut up and go away."
"Wha-- screw this." Chase grabbed his coffee and stormed out of the room. Foreman, seemingly unaffected by the display, picked up his own coffee and newspaper and took the other door. Cameron stared after them, stared at House, let out an irritated breath, and departed as well.
"...See?" House said.
Cuddy thought about this. "They kicked you out, didn't they?"
House paused and shrugged in acknowledgement, taking a chair. "Said something about 'incorrigible'," he said, propping up his feet and opening Chase's copy of the newspaper. "Frankly I was surprised they knew what that word means. It was probably a lucky guess."
Cuddy stared at him for a moment. "You're insane, you know that?"
"And mean, and rude, and self-destructive, yes, I've heard it all before. Are you going to try to fix me, or are you going go away and let a grumpy old cripple read the paper? After all, every minute I'm in here is another minute I'm not provoking a lawsuit against the hospital."
"...Yeaaaaaaah." Cuddy shook her head and left.
"And they said I had communication problems," House muttered in the now-silent room, shaking his head and turning the page.
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