This is literally the most self indulgent thing. Check the end note for any details and feel free to review/PM me

"Stormfly."

"Hookfang."

"Storm."

"Hook."

"Stormy."

"Hooky." Hooky grinned.

"I want to be a lesbian." Stormfly sighed.

"Okay then, you're a lesbian." The newly dubbed lesbian huffed.

"No, I mean… I wanna be a punk rock badass lesbian. Winged eyeliner, painted nails, leather jacket, fishnets, a cool skirt, maybe some knee-high boots…"

"Heels?" Hooky's eyes lit up.

"Definitely heels."

The two girls were in their shared apartment, Hooky sprawled across the couch. Stormfly was perched at the small table not too far away, hunched over her flight school homework. Her blonde hair was cropped short and spiky, despite how many times she claimed she wanted to grow it out to pull it back into a ponytail. It kept it out of her eyes, and she didn't want to deal with that annoying period of time when it was too long to be convenient, but too short to put up, and that was her main gripe with trying to grow it out again. She hadn't had long hair since she was still living with her parents, her and her younger sister, Astrid, bonding over learning how to braid. Astrid had accidentally ruined Stormfly's hair, and the two of them hadn't been able to get the tangled mess taken care of, so the older girl had cut it off without a second thought. It was a fond memory. Stormfly's outfit as of that moment consisted of a simple sky blue t shirt and jean shorts, along with white socks that nearly reached her knees.

Hooky was a completely different story. She was wearing a loose black muscle shirt along with bright red boxers. Her short (but not as short as Stormfly's) black hair was a bit greasy, and messy as she hadn't left the house all day and felt no reason to shower. A yawn escaped her, and she stretched her muscular arms before sitting up. She wasn't the type of girl you'd look at and think was female. In fact, she looked like a particularly buff male. That could be explained away very easily with the simple fact that she was genderfluid, and assigned male at birth. Today she was feeling feminine. Today she wanted a makeover. Today she wanted to dye her hair bright red.

"Hooky, what are you doing?" Stormfly asked in amusement as her roommate snuck back into the house. She had pulled a red and black flannel shirt on, as well as dark skinny jeans and red converse. Clutched in her hand was hair dye.

"Uhh, dying my hair, duh?" She heard Stormfly laugh. "It's gonna be bright red."

"Let me help you, ya goon." Stormfly stood from her spot at the table, not having moved in the time it took her friend to get the dye. "Gods know you wouldn't read the instructions unless I made you." Hooky grumbled.

Stormfly was right, of course. There was no way in Hel's name Hooky would have read the instructions, and considering the fact that she'd never dyed her hair before, it probably wouldn't have turned out well. After the agonizing process, she hugged her shorter friend, happy with her impulsive decision to have bright red hair. Stormfly went to take a shower, and when she was finished she returned to her room only to discover Hooky infiltrating her supply of makeup that she'd received from Corcra over the years. The blonde girl could only raise her brows in amusement as Hooky got frustrated by the different types of brushes. At her roommate's pleading look, she could only shrug, as she had no idea how to put on makeup.

"Pleaseeee, Stormfly!" She begged, and Stormfly rolled her eyes.

"Give me your phone." Hooky grinned, dashing off to grab her phone from the couch as Stormfly shoved all of her makeup in a bag before going to her backpack and digging around. From the bottom of the bag, she pulled out a crumpled piece of paper with a phone number and a winky face.

"Got it!" Hooky called, tossing the fragile device at Stormfly, who barely caught it with a very loud curse. "That must be where Astrid got it from."

"Oh, shut it." She dialed the number.

"Hello, this is Corcra speaking." Came a very smooth voice that she hated to hear. "Might I ask what you want from me?"

"Yo, asshole. It's Stormfly." There was an unattractive squawk on the other line, and Astrid heard him drop the phone. "I'm calling from Hooky's phone."

"Oh." He sounded disappointed. She felt satisfied. "Well, what would you two lovely ladies like from me?" His voice returned as suave as ever, and she no longer felt satisfied.

"Hooky wants a makeover. She just dyed her hair bright red and she wants to look like a- what was it again?" Hooky moved her face near the speaker.

"A punk rock badass lesbian. My aesthetic is black, red, and leather."

"We can do that. Storm, babe, you have my makeup?" Stormfly huffed.

"Unfortunately. Though, it's been fun regifting it to people! They really seem to appreciate it." Corcra made a choking sound.

"Well of course they appreciate it, I spent hundreds of-"

"Deep breaths, dear." Oh, it sounded like Mathilda was there. Mathilda was very much the mom friend, and very much aro ace.

"I'll be over in half an hour. Please make sure she's dressed before I get there." He sounded defeated, and Stormfly was once again satisfied.

"Thank you! Oh, and it was nice hearing from you, Mathilda." She hung up before he could respond. "Now, Hooky, it's time for you to get dressed up and stop smelling bad." Hooky scoffed.

"I don't smell- you're playing a dangerous game here, missy."

Stormfly practically snorted with laughter as she shoved Hooky to her room. The flight school student busied herself with reading a book as she idly played with one of her many knives as her roommate went to go get changed. Hooky shouted a loud curse at the sound of the doorbell half an hour later. When Stormfly knocked on her door in slight concern, she received a shout that she was in the middle of putting her boobs on, and the blonde girl didn't even bother stifling her laughter. She went to go open the door for Corcra, who immediately asked for a kiss. She immediately shut the door in his face. After letting him stand out in the heat for a little while longer, she let him in properly, going to sit on the couch as she gestured to the bag of makeup on the table. Corcra grumbled about lack of makeup care, taking the time to make sure nothing was ruined. Luckily, nothing was.

"Okay, boobs on, ready to be hot." Hooky announced as she entered the living room, hands on her hips.

She'd followed through on just about everything she said she would. Her outfit was mostly black, save for her bright red shirt and spiked belts. The leather jacket fit her nicely and hugged her form in a way that made her look more feminine, with a short skirt to match. Her fishnets looked torn, but Stormfly knew that had been entirely accidental, no matter how many times Hooky insisted she did it on purpose to look cooler. While it was true Hooky was actually a cool person most of the time, she was still kind of a dork occasionally. It also seemed she'd procured a pair of high heeled leather boots that reached her knees- as if she really needed to be taller. Her younger brother had clearly not been gifted in the height department, and Hooky often claimed that she stole his potential height from him. The look was completed by black fingerless gloves and multiple fake piercings.

Corcra ushered Hooky into the bathroom for optimal lighting before going to work on her makeup. The two didn't emerge until hours later, and in the meantime, Stormfly had invited their entire friend group over, minus Méaróg. Méaróg was much too young for the sort of movie night Stormfly was sure Hooky wanted. Sure, Hooky enjoyed dressing up, but it was really all for fun and she generally didn't like to go out in public with ripped fishnets and bold makeup. There was also the fact that she wasn't out to her family, and didn't plan on coming out to them any time in the near future. As such, nights she decided to dress up for were generally spent in the safety of their own apartment, watching musicals like Hedwig and the Angry Inch and Rent. Also Grease. One can never have enough Grease in their life.

The entire friend group had arrived in the time Corcra was busy with Hooky's makeup. Barf and Belch had been there within minutes of the call, while Meatlug had taken a half hour. Toothless, though admittedly much younger than the rest of them, was by no means in the same maturity range as Méaróg, and arrived nearly an hour after Meatlug. Apparently he needed to make sure Hiccup was doing okay before sneaking out past his adoptive father, Stoick. Mathilda arrived last, as she had a late night working at the daycare due to one of the parents taking forever to pick up their child. They were all chatting idly as they waited, eager to see Hooky's makeover.

"So, how did old man Stoick react to that outfit?" Stormfly questioned as they waited. She gestured to Toothless, who had a rather nice black vest on, purple dress shirt underneath with a striped tie. He also sported a rather lovely pink tutu, along with a sparkly pink headband, and sandals he'd discarded at the door. Toothless was the kind of person to not give a shit about what others thought of his outfits.

"Oh, you know." The teenager shrugged. "The usual look of discomfort, clenching his teeth 'cause he doesn't wanna say anything to his precious son's only friend." He took the headband off, running his hands through his hair before neatly replacing it.

"Honestly, Toothless, your family needs therapy." Meatlug spoke up. Toothless nodded.

"Oh, definitely. You'd think Stoick'd realize that by now but I guess he doesn't understand what depression is." He groaned. "And I mean come on, with his wife in a mental institution for the past, what, seventeen years? You'd think he'd have tried it at least once." He huffed. "I don't wanna talk about that though. Hic had a tough week and he's finally feeling a little better now that the weekend is here."

"And everyone knows weekend time is party time." Barf and Belch spoke simultaneously. The blond boys shared identical grins of amusement as they sat so close it was hard to forget they had been conjoined twins. Everyone had gotten used to them by then, though.

"I usually use the weekend to catch up on schoolwork." Stormfly grumbled. Flight school gave a huge amount of homework.

"Boring! But I get you. If I'm finished with everything I usually go rollerblading." Toothless wandered towards the kitchen in search of grapes. He was craving grapes.

Hooky's reveal to the group was loud, bold, theatrical, and just so… very… Hooky. The group laughed, shooting out compliments, and Hooky just ate up the praise. Her makeup was immaculately done, which was only to be expected from Corcra. As a guy who'd grown up with a lot of family who wore makeup, he'd become well versed in its ways. The twins let out enthusiastic wolf whistles, causing the entire group to laugh, because obviously they weren't actually being lecherous. Toothless clapped for her, and Stormfly winked playfully. Meatlug gave her a broad smile, as did Mathilda, and after confidently posing for a while, Hooky rushed to sit in the middle of the couch in front of the television, legs crossed.

She asked what they were planning on watching, as makeover nights were always movie nights, and Stormfly quickly hit play on Grease. Practically the entire group sang to every ridiculous song in the movie, and they quoted nearly every line, hardly able to breathe through their laughter by the end of it. Meatlug offered to go make popcorn as the others took a moment to appreciate Hooky's nails. They were finished drying by the end of the movie, and it looked like she had fire for fingernails. It was pretty fucking awesome.

As soon as Meatlug returned with five large bowls of popcorn (did they really have that many popcorn bowls?), they began watching Rent, which they watched with only slightly less enthusiasm compared to Grease. Their energy was kind of spent from Grease, and they needed to relax. Partway through, the twins shouted that they couldn't believe there was no soda. This prompted a soda run, and they insisted that the others keep the movie going as they did so. When they returned, they nearly drenched everyone in soda. Only Hooky and Meatlug were safe. After a brief break to jump in the shower and throw on some of Hooky's sleeping garments (large shirts and boxers/sweats), they resumed the movie.

It had been getting sort of late by the time they started watching Hedwig and the Angry Inch, but with caffeine now in their system, they were going strong. This time, they let Hooky take center stage, as she had the closest aesthetic to Hedwig and really seemed to be feeling theatrical. Those of them who wished to join in the singing were content to be background singers, and those who didn't were joking around and laughing. None of them could even remember the last time they'd had so much fun at a movie/makeover night, and they had been under the impression that nothing could ruin the moment. That was until Snotlout walked in as Hooky was in the midst of performing a rather intense solo. Everyone screamed, and Stormfly paused the movie. Hooky nearly fell off of the table.

"Hookfang!?"

"Snotlout, what the fuck are you doing here!?" She scrambled down to stand on the floor, tugging her skirt down slightly as if trying to make up for her less than masculine appearance. Snotlout stared at her.

"D-dad went drinking, and I might have locked myself out of the house…" He managed, eyes wide as he continued to stare.

"Fucking- would you stop staring at her?" Stormfly practically growled out as Hooky numbly walked to the couch, sitting down and looking particularly withdrawn.

"What?" Was Snotlout's rather intelligent response.

"Who left the doors unlocked?" Meatlug frowned, and noticed Barf and Belch looking rather sheepish. "Guys, come on, that's one of our rules!" It was true. One of their rules was to always, always lock the door on makeover night.

"I thought Barf was gonna do it."

"I was high! I thought you were a fucking butterfly!" They glared at each other before shrugging, scratching their heads.

"Yeah, we forgot." They admitted.

"H-Hookfang?" Hooky walked over to her brother, hands on her hips as she towered over to him.

"You say one word to dad, and you're fucking dead, do you understand me?" She hissed, leaning over to be closer to eye level.

"Y-yes ma'am!" He squeaked. Hooky blinked, turning to look at her friends.

'Ma'am?' She mouthed, as if needing confirmation that he had said that. They all nodded, and she let out a 'huh', not sure what to do at that point.

"I-I am, so sorry I interrupted, uhh…" He glanced around, eyes landing on the television. "Whatever that is?" Hooky snorted.

"It's Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Honestly little bro, I thought you would recognize a classic." Snotlout gave her a weird look.

"Uhh…"

"Come on, sit with us, I'm not driving you home until we finish."

Snotlout sat numbly at the edge of the couch, and after a brief summary of everything that had happened thus far, they continued to movie. Hooky was rather surprised when he got heavily invested in the movie. It wasn't that she expected him to be a transphobic, misogynistic, homophobic asshole, but… Well, that was kind of a lie, she completely expected him to be like that. The Jorgensen household was known for its overbearing masculinity, and as such, Hooky always put her masculine look together when she was around her family, regardless of how she was feeling that day. She was careful to keep her family life separated from the rest of her life, but now it was possible that all of that was ruined. Now, at least, she supposed she had the benefit of already having moved out if her dad disowned her.

Needless to say, she hadn't focused much on the movie after her little brother's arrival. It wasn't as if she hadn't seen it a thousand times over already, so it wasn't a huge loss. She stood up as soon as the credits rolled, stating that she would be back after changing. Upon entering her room, she let out a loud, irritated groan. This wasn't the first time Snotlout had somehow gotten himself locked out of his house, but it was the first time he'd seen her as anything other than male. She slipped out of her bold clothes, not bothering to take off her breasts or makeup as she changed into her usual subtly feminine outfit. It was just her flannel from earlier, layered on top of a shirt with a more feminine cut. Her jeans were slim fitting, and she slipped on a pair of boots that betrayed no overly feminine or masculine attributes. It was subtle, and most people probably wouldn't even notice, but it made her feel secure.

"Come on, Snot." She stated as she walked back into the living room.

"Uhh, y-yeah."

He followed her to her car silently, and she felt irritated when his gaze kept flicking down to her chest. Before, he'd been avoiding looking at her entirely, but now that she looked a bit more like her usual self, he couldn't help but look at the differences. At some point, he noticed her staring right back at him, and he focused his gaze on the ground as she unlocked the car. Neither of them said anything for a while, and Hooky decided to break the uncomfortable silence.

"So… You liked the movie more than I expected." He'd nearly been in tears. She hadn't realized he was such an emotional person. As if to reaffirm this, he sniffed.

"Yeah…" That exchange hadn't helped the air of awkwardness at all. It remained until Snotlout spoke again. "I like sewing." It practically came out as a mumble, and he wasn't facing her, but she heard it.

"I'm shit at sewing. And makeup. Corcra did this for me."

"It looks nice." He looked like he was going to go into more detail, but he bit his tongue. Hooky smiled at him.

"Snotlout, you literally just found out that sometimes your brother is your sister, do you honestly think I'm going to judge you for going into detail about my makeup?"

Evidently, that hadn't occurred to Snotlout, but Hooky supposed she should have expected it. Snotlout wasn't a complete idiot, but he also wasn't smart by any means. Hooky's lips spread into a smile as her brother gave her his analysis on her makeup. He didn't have anything particularly negative to say, and it was nice to hear him have such an oddly childish excitement in his voice. By the time he finished, they were pulling up to the Jorgensen house. Snotlout didn't look particularly happy when he saw that the light was on over the front porch.

"... He doesn't hit you or anything, right?" Hooky asked cautiously.

"What?" The confusion in his voice seemed rather genuine, so she bought it. "Nah, he's just… hard to deal with sometimes. He gets that disappointed look and rants about how I should be more like you, but then he says that at least I'm not like Uncle Stoick's little…" Snotlout shook his head. "I'm not gonna say it." Hooky raised a brow.

"His words, not yours."

"Uncle Stoick's little faggot son." He mumbled.

"I'll kick his ass." Hooky huffed, glaring at the front door. She'd always been really good at not being around when their father was drunk. "Did you lock your window?"

"Uhh… duh? Obviously, I mean, I was locked out, so…" His cheeks flushed in a way that made it clear that he hadn't checked.

"I'll help you sneak in through the window, come on."

Hooky got out of the car quickly, rushing to where Snotlout's window was on the second floor. There wasn't a convenient tree to climb up, but luckily Hooky was both strong and tall enough to boost her brother up into the window after he managed to force it open. The two exchanged grins, and Hooky felt much younger than she really was. She reminded him to go lock his door, and he did so quickly, before his father could get any ideas about drunkenly lecturing him. Snotlout returned to the window afterwards, sticking his head out to say goodbye.

"Night, bro." Hooky called up quietly, grin stuck on her face.

"Night, sis." The two of them smiled more, as if they were sharing a special sibling secret. "Love the hair, by the way."

Hooky laughed as he closed the window, likely going to bed. She made her way back to her bright red sports car. It cost a pretty penny, but she managed to get it for cheaper than it was worth thanks to her Uncle Stoick. She stretched her arms above her head, more than ready to head home when she heard the front door to her childhood home open. Spitelout stood in the door, a glass of water in his hand. They made eye contact, and Hooky sighed, knowing she couldn't avoid confrontation. She hunched her shoulders slightly as she walked over to meet him at the door.

"Hey, dad." She greeted simply, making sure her voice was sufficiently deep despite having spoken in a higher voice for all of that day.

"Hookfang. Haven't seen you in a while." He drank water, and Hooky noticed that he wasn't too drunk, thankfully. She made a noncommittal sound, shrugging, but that had clearly been a mistake, because now his eyes were focused on her fake breasts. He also focused more, noticing the makeup, as well as the hair. "What are you now, some transvestite?" Hooky laughed it off, pretending the words and they way he said them didn't sting.

"Nah, Barf and Belch dared me to do it. One of the girls did my makeup and I had to sing some dumb song. It was either that or wear an outfit Corcra chose from his nana's closet. Figured the red hair would be cool to keep for awhile, at least and I wouldn't have to deal with the embarrassment of wearing granny clothes." She was used to lying on the fly to her dad, and he ate it up without a second thought.

"Well, you take those off as soon as you get home, boy." He was pointing at her chest, and she nodded.

"Yeah, I will. I'm gonna head back right now. Night, dad."

"Goodnight, son." He responded, voice gruff as he went back inside, not once questioning what she was doing there in the first place

Maybe she'd come out to him eventually. It wasn't exactly on her to-do list, and she wouldn't be particularly affected if she never got around to it. She was happy to have made some kind of connection with her brother, however. As she got back into her car to drive home, she decided that the day hadn't been ruined by Snotlout at all.

Word Count: 3,957

So this is a modern AU where the dragons are all human and college age (except Toothless, he's Hiccup's age, maybe older by a year or so, but he's also a genius and is in college with the rest of the other dragons) and are the older siblings to their riders (except Toothless is adopted). I've honestly thought a lot about the AU and there's a LOT more to it than I've written here (like how Valka has schizophrenia and Hiccup lost his foot as a baby because she stopped taking her meds and got the two of them in a car crash and- also more things that I won't say because I plan on doing a multi-chapter fic in the future! I mean, unless you WANT spoilers, cuz I'll give em to you if you ask nicely).

If you're wondering who the fuck Mathilda, Corcra, and Mearog are, they're my dragon OCs who debuted in my (currently) 25 chapter long fic How to Deal With Vikings. Mathilda is a blue/yellow nightmare, Corcra is a purple nadder, and Mearog is a desert wraith (they're in the Rise of Berk app but nowhere else). HTDWV is a slow burn between my genderfluid OC Aran and Hiccup, but there's also other ships (like Heathstrid) and I don't exclusively focus on the romantic stuff.

If you're wondering where the heck this fic came from, it's because for SOME reason I keep thinking Hookfang is a girl? Like I don't know, I want all of the dragons to be ladies except Toothless I guess because there's literally NO explanation. My friends and I kept joking about it and it just kinda... escalated. Here I am now. Writing fanfics about human Hooky wearing skirts.

Also Meatlug is a trans girl but that didn't come up in the fic like at all oops

Toothless is a demiboy and he enjoys wearing cute girly things because my gf bought me a Toothless plush from Build-a-Bear and he's wearing the cutest sparkly pink headband

Don't question the names, I'm too tired to come up with modern normal names for dragons it's 3am

I'm gonna go write an essay on The Great Gatsby now