Five times Arthur got Ariadne's answering machine and one time she picked up

1.

"Hi! You've reached the apartment of Kamila, Ariadne and Sophie, but we're not at home, sorry. Leave a message, and don't forget to tell us who you wanted to speak to!"

Beeeeep.

"This is Arthur Greens trying to reach Ariadne Wozniak. I'm an architect working with Dreams Inc., from New York. We've seen samples of your work, and we would like to meet you to discuss a work placement and possibly a permanent share on our team. Please call me back at 555-1234."

2.

"Hello?"

"Ariadne, it's -"

"No, sorry, actually I'm not available right now. But leave a message and I'll call you back."

Beeeeep.

"Oh, for - Ariadne, this has to be the most obnoxious message known to man. What on earth is it doing on your answering machine? Anyway, I was calling you about a job. Standard, two levels. If you're interested, call me back."

3.

"Please leave a message. You have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used against you."

Beeeeep.

"... I'm sorry, Ariadne. I fucked up, this is my fault. I hope you're going to be all right. I'm sorry for the dozen calls; I just wanted to hear your voice. Wake up soon. I... I love you."

4.

"This is Ariadne's phone. If you're Arthur, you can fuck off right back into the hole you crawled out of. Everyone else can leave a message."

Beeeeep.

"I'm sorry. I love you. Please forgive me."

5.

"Hi! This is Ariadne and I'm currently on vacation in the Bahamas with a couple cute cabin boys. If you want to apply for the position, leave a message!"

Beeeeep.

"You know, sometimes I wonder if you ever pick up your phone. Well. Uh. Before we were so rudely interrupted, I was about to ask you something. I probably should wait until I see you again, but we seem to do all the important talking on your answering machine, so maybe it's fitting. Anyway. Ariadne, will you marry me?"

+1.

"Hi!"

"... Is it actually you answering? It's not the obnoxious message again, is it?"

"No, it's really me! I'd never use the same message twice, anyway."

"Did something happen? You never answer your phone."

"I saw it was you and, well, I was in the mood for phone sex."

"..."

"I miss you awfully."

"I was calling about work -"

"I'm naked on our bed with my hand on my clit right now."

"- but it's nothing that can't wait. Give me a minute to get myself comfortable."

END