Warning: Major season six spoilers
Of all the humans that ended up in space, I was certain that I was the least worthy of being here.
The paladins were here to save the others.
Matt and Samuel Holt supported the coalition and were valuable assets kidnapped by the galra.
And then there was me. Barely an adult who had woken one day to find herself on the back of a cargo ship, finding her way be intuition. Had the paladins not found me at that mall, I'm certain I would've been dead. I was just picked up with some stolen cargo. An accident, you could say.
While the paladins fought evil and tried to help the universe, at sat behind trying not to get in the way.
And when I was at the lowest point, he made me feel like I was worth the universe and more. I supposed as the Castle of Lions' permanent freeloader, it gave us plenty of time to talk. Lotor, the galran prince taken captive, told me so much.
Soon enough, his colored words and beautiful expressions wiggled his way into my heart. How could I not trust him?
I should've known I was wrong, of course. Lotor was a too-good-to-be-true deal. He was beautiful and incredible, and I was nothing but a stepping stone. Still, I was infatuated.
He let me be. He let me be near him and he held me like I was someone precious to him. He let me hold his hand and brush my fingers through his soft hair.
Once, we kissed and his lips sent electricity through my entire body. I swore sparks flew that night.
I should have known better.
Because, honestly, I knew Lotor better than anyone else here. Even Allura, whom he admired dearly. I spoke to him truthfully before anyone else. Clearly, I had the most weakness to be exploited. And in that, he exposed himself to me as well.
I don't know if I should say I trusted him. I don't know if I could even say I loved him. Looking back, it seems I was in love with the idea of him more than himself.
After Oriande, you see, he was never the same.
I noticed him getting closer to Allura. I noticed his obsession with his ships and with the quintessence, but I didn't mention it. I left it be, because I believed in him and in the good of his heart. I thought I could mend him.
Clearly, I was wrong.
When Lotor and Allura entered the quintessence field, I didn't know how to feel. I held no hard feelings against Allura. I suppose I suffered a similar fate to her when it came to Lotor, but our feelings, when they existed, were kept more behind closed doors. Afraid of being caught and judged, I loved him in secret.
When Lotor exited the quintessence field, I barely recognized him. I knew his intentions had been transformed but still, I believed in him. I should have known he would use those ships. I should have known.
Throughout the whole endeavor, I was less than useless. As Voltron fought for their lives and Keith chased after Lotor, I prayed. I vowed to myself I would create change when he returned.
Yet when he finally came back as I knew he would, now with his own Voltron and more quintessence than I could even imagine, I did nothing. I whispered how much I loved him and I wondered what would happen.
When Lotor told Allura how he felt about her, my heart broke. When Lotor made the call to attack, my heart broke. When Lotor stated his intention to kill us, my heart broke. When the paladins entered the quintessence field with him, and then came back without, my heart broke.
When the paladins came back, telling of how Lotor was as good as dead, I felt my heart shatter. Even the idea of him was gone now. Even the idea of mourning him was gone.
And, so, when I heard the news, I reacted as one would expect.
Which is to say, I didn't even cry.