Alright! Here it is! My Inuyasha fanfic that I just got inspired to write, it'll probably be more of a short story, but hopefully it'll get enough likes to be written out into a full on lengthy story for you guys to read and enjoy! As a disclaimer, I do not own Inuyasha, though I wish I did! And I hope you guys enjoy reading this! It should be fun to read, or so I hope!
It was simply my fate. And I know that now, but I still have a hard time dissecting everything to make sense of it. I thought I loved him, and now, it means nothing to me. He means nothing to me. Not without the one thing that we lacked. Honesty.
It was quiet. I heard nothing, I felt nothing. Vaguely, through my darkened eyesight, I saw Sango and Miroku fighting to protect me. Kirara was attacking another youkai akin to herself and Shippou was crying on my stomach. I felt my blood rushing from my body. Was this how I would die? Naraku was a force to be reckoned with, I knew this much. And yet somehow I did not see the difference in his power when we approached him for what should've been our final battle. In hindsight, it was. I was going to die and without my ability to sense the jewel, they wouldn't know where to hit him. My friend would die and it was my fault for being weak and pathetic. The longer I lay here the more blood pours out and the closer to death I became. Black spots formed in my line of vision, something similar to Kikyo's soul collectors, only black. The pressure on my stomach was gone then and I saw Shippou enter my sight. He was a mess, crying and throwing one horrible fit. He was angry, I could feel that somehow.
"Shippou," I could not hear myself speak, but Shippou sure did. He sniffled up the snot in his nose and tried to quiet down for my sake. "Take care of them okay?" I had to give him one last sense of necessity before I went. I was his mother in a lot of ways and I hated myself for leaving him like this. Pain took me then and I cried out, this much I heard. Shippou ran away from me as my body contorted in painful movements. The miasma was taking over my being now and I could hardly feel anything beside the pain of it all. I felt tears brim at my eyes and then Sango was rushing over to me. Briefly I felt her hands applying pressure to my wounds and then everything went black.
I awoke gasping for air the next second, in a place I couldn't quite recognize. When I took note of my surroundings, I realized I was in the afterlife. Though, my exact location shocked me. I was at Inuyasha's father's tomb. The skeletal bird demons were around as per usual, but the gateway to the place I had just come from was open for me to see. Inuyasha, with a final thrust of his mighty sword destroyed Naraku and the jewel fell to the ground, tainted by the previous darkness it had been trapped in. No one would be able to purify it now.
"What do you wish to do?" I heard a deep voice ask from behind me. Under normal circumstances I would've turned, ready to try and defend myself. But I was dead, what harm could this unknown person do to me? I continued to watch the portal, my friends were shaking my now lifeless body and I shuddered at my own disappointment. I had let them all down. What Inuyasha did though, hurt the most. He stood above me, silent and watching. He made no move to grab at me like everyone else. He seemed hurt, but he knew better than to try and bring something dead back to life.
"What are my options?" I asked the voice. Turning them, the seemingly thin air here lifting my hair in what should've been a gentle breeze. The man I saw was stunning, his hair white as snow, similar to Inuyasha and Sesshomaru's. His eyes were that same golden color that I loved so much.
"There are three," he told me. I waited for him to continue. "You can stay here and continue on with your fate. Or you could return to them and live as you would have had you not been pulled into the past." I was going to interject, but the man held a hand up to silence me. My mouth snapped shut and I waited for him again. "Or, you could use what's left of my power to become immortal. However, there is a catch." He told me. I nodded, hoping that it would be something small so I could choose that option. I wanted so badly to see Inuyasha again. "If you do choose this third option, you will never be human again. You will never see your family again. And you will never know Inuyasha's true love, but you will be able to return to him and your friends." I felt my jaw loosen and drop. To return to him but never be human, never see my family again… and what was worse, never know his love. To be honest, I didn't know if truly did love me, but something in my mind and gut always told me he did. And to be given the chance to return to him, but never be loved by him? That was simply cruel. I wanted him and needed him. He was everything I'd lived for the past two years.
"Can I have a moment to think about it?" I asked him. The man nodded and stood there, silently, watching me as I thought things over. It was unnerving, but I would have to deal with it I suppose. To never feel his love? I didn't know if I could live with that. But I so desperately wanted to return, to live again. To see him and Shippou and Sango and Miroku. I wanted to see their lived pan out as they should've if Naraku had never existed. And it wasn't only not knowing his love that upset me, but to never see my family again? I didn't know if I could handle that. I loved my family. "Could I see my family one last time before I make my decision?" I wondered. The man sighed just then.
"You may see them, but only as you are. Your spirit will be with them, but they will not be able to hear or see you." He told me.
"And what of my body? Will it remain in the feudal era?" the man shook his head.
"That is up to you. If you wish it to stay here, it will. But if you want your family to know what has happened to you, then it will be returned there, but only if you chose to remain this way," he explained. I stared at the ground, trying to find something interesting in order to distract myself.
"What will I become should I choose to return to Inuyasha?" I had to know what would happen to me if I sacrificed my humanity to be with him and not with him at the same time.
"Every soul has its choices. And more often than not, people with this option that take it become demons." He told me. My eyes widened. I wouldn't be a miko anymore. I wouldn't know the pure calamity that was that life. "Fear not," the man chuckled and moved closer to me. His hand caressed my cheek tenderly. He seemed to sense my fear. "You were born a miko, there will always be remnants of this within you, but should you choose to return a demon, it would be buried deep within yourself only to come out if you die again and are reincarnated." What would I do? If I returned, I would be immortal and demon and never know Inuyasha's love and never see my family again. How could I possibly live that way?
"But, I want my family to know what happened to me," was it selfish of me to want that for them? So they wouldn't wonder what happened to just think I up and disappeared. If I knew them like I did, then they would probably assume I was dead, but wasn't it better to know than to wonder? It would cause less agony and worry. But to die, and return my body to them and have them mourn my death. Wasn't that selfish as well? The last thing I wanted to do was to be selfish. I would have to do some growing up it seemed.
"That I cannot assure, but I can tell you that I will personally do my best to get the message to them before my last spirit dissipates," he told me. That made me feel better. I sighed and looked back to the portal of my friends crying over my death. Sango had thrown herself onto my body in what I assumed to be one last effort to bring me back.
"I want to return to them, I need my friends," I whispered. With the man's heightened senses, he heard me and nodded.
"So shall it be, remember the consequences," that was the last thing I heard before I felt myself tumbling into through the portal and back to my body.
Everything was still black, but I could hear Sango crying and the air around me smelled of battle and blood, my blood. My senses were almost immediately sharper, but I felt an immense pain in my head and almost cried out in pain. That was when I opened my eyes to now silent warriors. Sango's eyes were widened with surprise and Shippou had fainted it seemed. Inuyasha stared at me, a blank expression on his face, but I didn't know why. Miroku was crying now, his gratitude plain on his face.
"Kagome-chan?" Sango called. I winced as I tried to sit up, my wounds were still fresh. "You shouldn't move," she exclaimed, trying to stop me from moving. I sighed and rested back on my elbows.
"But how Kagome-sama?" I heard Miroku ask. I tried to chuckle, but pain overtook me when I did so. I winced back again and decided it would be best to ignore the question.
"Kaede," was all I said. Sango seemed to understand what I meant and asked Inuyasha to carry me to her. He was silent as he moved, bending over to pick me up gently. No one seemed to notice the changes in me except for him and I couldn't help but wonder what was going through his mind. It felt remarkable to be back in his arms, but I knew that feeling was fleeting as I knew what would happen to us. We were doomed.
Shippou sat on Inuyasha's shoulder the entire way there, silently crying because he was so happy. Or it seemed he was happy. He looked at me with a sad smile on his face and it made me wonder if he knew what had happened. It didn't matter right now though, because right now was probably my last moment with Inuyasha like this. That thought nearly killed me all over again, but I couldn't think of that right now. Now I needed to be with him, for the last few moments that I had before he realized he would never love me again. Because then I would be alone.
We reached Kaede's hut quicker than I had wanted, but I was glad to be able to get these wounds checked out. Somewhere in the back of my mind I felt them healing already, but I knew it would take a while. The wounds were quite excessive.
"Would all ye give Kagome-sama and I a moment alone?" she asked gently. I wanted to cower back into a corner. I knew she was going to ask questions, but I trusted this woman with my very life countless times and I would not disrespect her in such a fashion as to cower away from her when she was only curious as to my situation. Everyone else left and this gave the older woman time to ask the questions I knew everyone else wanted to know the answers to. "Child, what happened to ye?" she asked. I sighed and sat up, pain rushing through me momentarily. She made to help me, but I stopped her. I had to get used to this body.
"I died," I replied simply. She nodded, as if she already knew that much. "And then Inuyasha's father brought me back to life by giving me his last remaining spiritual energy. I," what words could I use to make her understand? To explain what I had done so to see the man that would never love me again? There were none.
"You're a demon, no longer a human," she finished for me. My head snapped up to look at her. How had she been able to guess?
"How did you,"
"Child, I have lived many years, it does not take much to recognize a demonic pact when ye see one. Especially when ye eyes have changed color," she explained. I nodded, slightly surprised by this. Though, the thing that shocked me more was the fact that my eyes were a different color. "They are darker than they previously were. Almost black now even," I nodded. I would simply have to get used to this. "Your wounds are healing well, on they're own. Not much of my help was needed but to wrap those wounds in gauze," the old miko explained. I did not respond just then and instead chose to lye back on my side and stare at the wall across from me. Kaede said nothing, but collected her things and left the hut. I didn't want to see anyone right now; I simply wanted to be alone. As it was doomed by my new fate.
You can stay here and continue on with your fate.
I was supposed to die today. And yet here I am, defying my very destiny to be with someone who will never love me ever again. I was selfish and stupid. Agony, I knew, would be my only company for the rest of my days. I didn't need an oracle to know that truth. But somehow, I would go on. If only to see his smiling face again. To know that he is happy and is loved, even if it is not with me. I wanted to see Sango and Miroku and the beautiful family they would start together. I wanted to watch Shippou grow into a strong demon. Was that so selfish of me to desire? I had a hard time believing so, and yet the feeling of dread that washed over me once I made this choice was repulsive. It disgusted me, made me hate myself to the point where I didn't know what to think about any of it. I loved him and I had once thought he loved me, but with this new circumstance, how was I to know anything anymore?
Somewhere outside the hut I heard the shuffling of feet and immediately knew that someone was coming to see me. By the smell, I could only assume it was Sango. Oh how I loved her, she was my very best friend. But even she couldn't change what I had done, though I had a feeling she would go to the ends of the earth to make things different. She was just that good of a person.
"Kagome-chan?" I heard her call. She walked further into the hut and to my room. I saw a small smile on her face and she moved to sit down next to me. "How are you feeling?" she asked me. I shrugged and then sat up to talk with her.
"Better, just glad that I could return to you guys," I murmured. Sango nodded. Though I couldn't ignore the blatant look of curiosity on her face. "I really don't want to explain how it all worked out Sango. Just know that I came back to be with all of you, you're my family now," I told her. That didn't seem to be good enough for her, but she accepted the explanation in any case. She opened her arms and I felt them wrap around my form. She felt so small now, but it was nice to be hugged again.
"I'm glad you're okay," she told me quietly. It was barely audible, at least for the human ear. But I heard it loud and clear.
"Me too," I told her, masking the hint of sorrow in my voice.
Somewhere between the conversation Sango and I had afterward and the night, I fell asleep. I don't remember this at all, but it was quite apparent to me when I opened my tired eyes the next morning. I glanced around the small room and nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw Inuyasha sitting across from me.
"Keh, you're a demon and you didn't even sense me sitting here," he scoffed. My eyes widened and I sat up, realizing then that my wounds were almost completely gone. "Not only that, but you reek of my father," I winced at the anger in his voice.
"Inuyasha, I,"
"Save it," he murmured. His eyes shifted away from me then. "I don't care what you are, I'm just," he faltered on his words. "Glad you're okay," I didn't let that give me hope. He wouldn't love me anymore, which was part of the pact. I knew that, and yet, I wanted him to. I wanted that statement to mean everything to me. But it simply couldn't because I wouldn't let it. Truthfully, I didn't know what to say to that.
"Thank you," I murmured. He knew what had happened to me. Thought he probably didn't know the fine details. He didn't know that he would never love me again. He didn't know that I could never see my family again. He didn't know that I sacrificed everything I had ever known for him to not love me, simply so I could see him again and to be near him. I guess it didn't matter whether he loved me or not, just that I was with him. Thinking about it, I had once prior come to that conclusion, but the sheer reality of it hadn't hit me until now. We sat there in silence for what seemed like an eternity before he finally spoke.
"Naraku is dead and the jewel has been locked away," he told me. I nodded my head. They must've done that when I was asleep, because I couldn't have been dead for that long. The lack of emotion in his voice scared me despite my previous thoughts. I suppose part of me still desires that love and care. But I know I'll never have it again. It was inevitable. "You're free to return home if you want," and then he stood and walked out of the room. When I knew he was out of the room I let the tears that had been threatening to fall escape my grasp. I felt my body convulse and then I crumpled onto the floor. I wanted so badly for that to be true in that moment. I don't think I ever expected his lack of love to feel like this. He was so cold, like he had been when we first met on that fateful night. Oh I how I hated that night. If only I had never been pulled into the well by Mistress Centipede. Day one of my pact and I already wanted to return to death.
Well, what did ya think? Hmm? Well anyway, let me know in a review if you love it or hate it or what I could do to make it better! Also, let me know what you think about how I'm doing portraying Kagome, I'm always self conscious those things! Anyways, until next time!
XOXO, Alaska