My Little XLR
By Alkem
Chapter 1: Harmony Brings Destruction.
Inside a sealed chamber, a lone granite table with a beautifully decorated box placed atop it was shrouded in darkness. Located deep within the walls of the royal castle, in the city of Canterlot, the capital city in the land of Equestria, this chamber held sacred gems of immeasurable power. Their legendary power has been essential in locking away great evils in the past. These five gem-encrusted necklaces and one crown are known as the Elements of Harmony, and only in the hooves of a few chosen ponies could these powerful items be used properly.
Somehow inside the circular chamber, one of those chosen few happened to had made her way inside. It was one of the six mares of legend that stories were told about. Dressed completely in tight, black clothing with a matching wool cap and black face paint, she carefully made her way to the center of the room. Opening the box, she stood there admiring the collection of jewelry. They began to glow, as if recognizing her as one of their wielders. The light shining off them became the only source of illumination. The pony licked her lips; her mind focused on her goal, about what she was going to do with the Elements.
The mare proceeded to stuff the elements into her brown sack which was oddly enough labeled "Elements sack". With the last Element stuffed into the sack, the room went dark again. Only the distinct "boing" sounds of the pony hopping as she exited could be heard. Suddenly the mare stopped. The garment atop her head having fallen off. Reaching down for something, she spoke out in the darkness.
"Silly hat, you can't stay here. Let's go home we've got some cupcakes to bake."
Picking up her fallen hat, she resumed her hopping, and just as mysteriously as she entered the chamber, she vanished.
Elsewhere, on a planet far different from that of the land of Equestria, two individuals were waiting in line outside a building. The building, with the lettering "Donny's Famous Dogs" plastered on it, had a banner hanging off the roof; it read in big eye-catching letters "Grand Opening". Fliers in the windows advertised their special. "Try our custom order chili-dogs! We'll make 'em any size you want!" it read.
The two individuals were Jamie, a scrawny, pale young man who wore jeans, a leather jacket over his green hoodie, and a blue wool cap atop his dark haired head; and Kiva, a young red haired woman who wore a full body protective suit. Both of them stood in line, waiting for the resturant's opening. While the young man simply leaned against the wall, the girl was busy having a conversation using her hologram projector located on her wrist.
"Coop, are you sure it was a good idea having me and Jamie wait in line while you deal with the Glorft?"
The projection on her arm displayed the image of a large male with blonde hair and a goatee, wearing jeans and a red vest over his very large white shirt. He was apparently at the wheel of his vehicle.
"Come on Kiva, I can handle this one easy. You and Jamie just save me a spot in line while I deal with the squids. Plus I need you there in case Jamie gets distracted. I'll be back faster than you can say chili chee" A large metal clang could be heard just before the transmission cut off.
Jamie, still leaning against the brick wall, looked up into the sky. "Don't sweat it Kiva. Coop and I've beaten plenty of aliens and monsters in the past. I'm sure Coop can handle fighting the Glorft even without me."
Kiva stared at Jamie, giving him a skeptic look. "Well, you're right about Coop." She joined him in looking to the sky. "I just hope he doesn't damage MEGAS too much this time."
Up above Earth's orbit, a giant green battle ship idled in space. Around the enormous ship, thousands of smaller humanoid-shaped robots were swarming around it. The group huddled together, surging towards their target. Floating just above the ship was the MEGAS, a robot from the distant future.
MEGAS stood out from the army of robots heading towards it. Painted blue with hot rod flames on its legs, a flaming eight ball painted on the left arm, a matching flame surrounding an eyeball on the right arm, the number 12 on the top left of its chest, and most distinguishing was the classic red muscle car that made the head of the mech. It stood at the ready as the swarm of opposing robots quickly approached.
Inside of the lead Glorft mech, a transmission appeared onscreen. "Sir, we have the Earther completely outnumbered, all units are ready to attack on your signal."
The creature on screen looked like a green slug. It head looked like a squid that was on top of a metal body.
"Excellent commander; today is the day we take back the prototype and destroy this primitive mud heap once and for all."
The lead mech stood in front of his army. Taking formation, the units formed a giant wall. The alien piloting the lead mech suit, Warmaster Gorrath, leader of the feared Glorft army, signaled to the rest of his soldiers. "All units, attack!"
The wall of green mechs charged at the lone blue robot. Coop, who had leisurely been watching the Glorft fall in line, calmly grabbed his video game controller, which he modified into MEGAS's controls, hit a series of buttons, and flicked a few switches on the dashboard. All of a sudden, hidden missile compartments began springing up around MEGAS's frame from the arms, legs, shoulders, hands, sides of each finger, and feet. Practically every flat surface of the mech had a missile hatch ready to launch. Coop casually reached out with one finger and pressed the "Fire All the Missiles" button.
Hundreds of rockets launchedfrom MEGAS in rapid succession. Soon, a giant wave of explosive projectiles matching the number of Glorft units appeared. Each missile began heading towards its target.
"All units stay in formation! Charge! Destroy that Earther!" Gorrath shouted as he looked around him, seeing mech after mech being blown away by Coop's onslaught of missiles. Trembling at the devastation brought on by this single opponent, soldiers fell back.
The Warmaster began charging towards Coop and MEGAS, skillfully dodging every missile that came at him. Making his way to his target, he rammed his mech against MEGAS. The mechs locked arms, as the pilots exchanged a few words.
"You annoying Earther filth, give up now and maybe I'll let you live long enough to see your world destroyed," Gorrath growled, as he tightly grasped the controls of his mech.
With a big confident grin, Coop replied, "Oh yeah squid, you and what army?"
Gorrath looked around himself, and realized that his was the only mech still functional.
He roared, smashing his metal fist on his mech's dashboard. Still engaging his enemy, he positioned MEGAS and himself in front of his mothership's main cannon.
"Commander what is the status of the cannon's charging sequence?"
Gorrath's display screen showed the image of his second in command. "Sir, energy levels are at 65 percent. As you have ordered, we shall fire the main cannon as soon as it is fully charged. But sir, won't this put you in the line of fire as well?"
Gorrath slamed his mechanical fist on the arm of his chair. "I'm well aware of my position
commander, that is abundantly clear. I shall move away just before the main cannon fires. And if by some chance I don't manage to avoid the blast, which is highly unlikely, you would best hope for your sake commander that the reinforced shielding you designed works as intended. Now, alert me before the cannon is ready, I want to enjoy my final fight with this monkey."
Back in Ponyville, a new day had arrived, but something was amiss. Ponies were running around like mad in search of something. One unicorn in particular, named Twilight Sparkle, was particularly on edge. She raced down the streets of the town, noticing the roads were covered with ponies frantically searching high and low.
Twilight Sparkle arrived at her destination, a local bakery known as Sugarcube Corner. She walked in and asked the pony at the counter a question. "Mrs. Cake, have you seen Pinkie Pie?"
Mrs. Cake, the older pony who ran the sweet shop, faced Twilight. "She's been upstairs all morning," she pointed towards the stairs that led to the second floor, where Pinkie Pie's home was located.
"I need to see her; it's a matter of dire importance." Twilight said as she began to head up the stairs.
"Oh, I know dear, the whole town is has been bustling with worry, ever since news spread about the Elements being missing. You'd best go wake her up; this is no time for a nap."
As Twilight entered the room, the scent of fresh baked goods hit her. Twilight noticed a pile of ingredients stacked just outside the door to the tiny kitchen Pinkie had upstairs in her house.
"Pinkie Pie?"
Twilight heard a high pitched "Eeep!" followed by the sounds of pots and pans falling over. After the noise stopped, the kitchen door cracked open a little and Pinkie Pie stepped out. Blotches of flour covered parts of her body.
"Oh hey Twilight, how yah doing? I was just busy making some cupcakes," Pinkie said with her eyes darting left and right.
Twilight, not reading too much into her friend's odd behavior, considering odd tends to be the norm for Pinkie. "Pinkie, this is no time to be baking, the Elements of Harmony have been stolen. I already have the other girls out searching for it and we could use your help."
A colorful twinkle of light suddenly caught Twilight's eye as the door to the kitchen swung open a little. Her curiosity was peaked.
"Pinkie Pie, what are you doing in there?"
She answered back with beads of sweat rolling off her head, never looking her friend in the eye. "Oh, you know me Twilight, just baking some cupcakes like I said."
Twilight, not buying Pinkie's story, made her way to the door.
Putting herself in between Twilight and the door, Pinkie questioned her. "Gee Twilight, don't you think we should head out and look for the elements?"
Twilight began pushing against Pinkie, trying to make her way into the kitchen.
"Pinkie, what are you hiding in there?"
Twilight pushed as hard as she could as Pinkie braced herself on the edges of the doorway. Her grip was slipping. With one last push, Twilight and Pinkie went tumbling through the door. Twilight got up, and there before her, on top of the oven was what she, and the entire town, had been searching for.
"Pinkie Pie! You took the Elements! Why?"
Pinkie gave her friend a guilty look. "I was planning on returning them as soon as I was done, but I ran into a problem." Pinkie fiddled with her hooves.
"You were trying to make a cupcake!" Twilight shouted, as she heard the mare's ridiculous reason for taking the Elements.
"Not just any cupcake Twilight, the most super delicious, extra special, absolutely wonderful cupcake ever. Best of all, it never runs out," she explained.
"Huh?" Twilight said, confounded by her friends reason as she raised an eyebrow.
"You see Twilight, I did some studying in your library, and found two spells. One that would make the world's most delicious cupcake, and another was an endless regeneration spell. That's when I got the idea to make the most delicious cupcake that would last forever."
"But Pinkie Pie, why did you need to steal the Elements?"
"I was getting to that. You see Twilight, each spell requires a very large amount of magic. So in order to merge those two spells together, I would need some pretty powerful magic. Even more magic than you have. And what is the strongest source of magic we know?"
"The Elements of Harmony," Twilight answered, realizing why Pinkie did what she did. "But Pinkie you can't just steal the Elements of Harmony like that."
"Oh no-no-no, I wasn't stealing them. I was only borrowing them. I was planning on returning them and sharing my cupcake when I was done."
"Pinkie, all of Equestria is in panic over the missing Elements, everypony in Ponyville is searching for them. I have to take them back."
Twilight began walking over to the Elements. Pinkie leaped over to Twilight, clutching her hind legs.
"Please Twilight, you can't! I'm so close. I just needed something to start up the Elements."
Twilight pulled her legs, trying to free herself from Pinkie's grip. "I'm sorry Pinkie; I have to take them back."
Pinkie started breaking down, her dream of a never ending cupcake that would taste greater than anything the world has ever know was about to be dashed.
If only I could just activate the elements, I just need a little spark of magic, she thought.
Suddenly, she realized something. A sparkle of magic, duh. Pinkie let go of Twilight's legs. "Okay Twilight, you can take the Elements."
A little stunned at her sudden change in demeanor, Twilight looked at Pinkie but thought nothing more of it. "Thank you, Pinkie Pie. Now, let's go return these to the princess. Maybe if we explain, she won't be too mad."
She walked over to the oven. The smell of something baking inside wafted out from it. There on top of the stove were the 6 elements. She looked over at Pinkie, who looked on as if anticipating something. Twilight began to pick up the Elements using her magic; they ascended as they were surrounded by her magical aura.
Suddenly the aura vanished and the Elements of Harmony dropped back on top of the stove. Responding to Twilight's magic, the Elements began glowing. The light coming off of them grew brighter and brighter; the two ponies shielded their eyes. A large ray of light then shot up from the stove. The light tore through the ceiling and continued skyward. It went far past the clouds and continued upward, out of sight of anypony.
Back just outside Earth's orbit, two warriors were still having a fierce battle.
"This shall be the day that I defeat you and destroy this pathetic planet, you Earther scum!" Gorrath proclaimed.
Both pilots, still entangled with each other, exchanged blows as they hovered just in front of the Glorft mother ship's main cannon.
"Heard that before, squid." Coop's robot unleashed a powerful punch to the Glorft mech, knocking it back. The Glorft robot was facing MEGAS; Gorrath noticed the mother ship's main cannon was directly behind the prototype.
Coop's robot took a stance and pointed a finger towards Gorrath. "Listen up squid, you attack Earth, make me chase your sorry butt up here..."
"Sir, the cannon is at 97% energy level. We will be ready to fire in 20 seconds."
"That's plenty of time commander. The Earther is off on one of his idiotic rants again; fire the cannon as soon as it reaches 100%."
"Yes Warmaster."
Coop was reaching the end of his rant. "And worst of all, you're making me miss my meal at a brand new restaurant. You're going down."
Gorrath pulled away and the Glorft mother ship cannon fired, sending a massive stream of energy straight towards MEGAS.
"Huh?" Coop said as he turned around too late.
"Whaaa!" he yelled as his mech took a direct hit, but it still remained intact; MEGAS started to push against the energy wave.
Inside the cockpit, a holographic screen displaying Kiva popped up in front of Coop.
"Coop! What's happening? I'm getting a massive energy spike in MEGAS's shield output."
Jamie tapped at Kiva's shoulder. "Um Kiva. Look." Jamie pointed upward and Kiva saw it. The sky above Jersey City suddenly had two suns.
"Coop!"
"Oh, you know me Kiva, just saving the world," Coop jested.
"Coop, MEGAS's shields won't be able to take much more of this. You have to get out of there."
"No can do Red. If I move, this laser's heading straight for Jersey City and if that happens, the city will be destroyed and if that happens I won't get to taste those chili-dogs. I can't let that happen."
Coop began hitting various switches, and pressing random buttons on the control pads, the displays crackling as the shields were reaching their limit.
Kiva looked on though the monitor. "Coop, what are you doing?"
Pressing one last button before hitting the gas pedal, "Everything I can," he responded.
A bright light started to emerge in between MEGAS and the giant energy beam.
"Sir, our scanners are picking up an anomaly next to the prototype," reported a helmsman on the Glorft bridge.
A vortex instantly appeared, and from it a giant beam of light pierced through it. The energy blast from the Glorft mother ship's cannon began to meld with the light beam; both then began to merge with the vortex, making it grow in size.
"Sir, our scanners are picking up energy readings coming from the anomaly, they are off the scale."
Back on board the ship Gorrath took his seat, and observed the monitors.
"Any sign of the prototype?"
"None Sir, we lost all contact when the anomaly appeared. Sir, it would be wise to fall back, the anomaly appears to be growing and pulling in objects within its proximity."
"Silence commander, I give the orders here. I want to be sure that the Earther has been destroyed."
"But Sir!" Gorrath gave the commander a menacing look. "Yes Sir." The commander turned his back and muttered. "This is almost like last time."
The alarms on the main deck went off. The giant screens began showing warning signals; a red light went off on the bridge.
"What's happened?" Gorrath bellowed.
"Sir, the anomaly has begun to pull us in."
"Quick! Take us into null space."
"I'm afraid that isn't possible, we're too low on energy after firing the main cannon to jump into null space.
"Then pull the ship out of range!"
"Too late; the anomaly's pull has become too strong."
Gorrath and the commander looked on through the monitors as the Glorft army mother ship slowly began moving towards the vortex.
"If I go down, at least I have the satisfaction of having vanquished my greatest enemy."
"It only took you the ship and all of its crew to do it," the commander muttered.
In a flash, the entire Glorft ship vanished. Only the spiraling vortex remained. The menacing figure rapidly doubled in size. The suction of the vortex grew so great that random objects down below in the city began floating away.
"Okay, so maybe we should have gone with Coop!" Jamie yelled as he held onto a fire hydrant to avoid being sucked away.
People began running inside buildings and cars grabbing hold of things anchored to the ground. Anything that would prevent them from being sucked up. The suction lasted for a few seconds, and just as quickly as it expanded, it returned back to the size it was before the Glorft ship was sucked in.
From the ground, all of Jersey City could see the formation of the giant space funnel. After the vortex returned to its previous size, Kiva frantically tried contacting Coop, but the holographic receiver didn't get a response.
"Come on Jamie, we have to get back home and try contacting Coop."
"And lose our place in line? Coop's not gonna be too happy when he finds out you lost his spot."
Kiva grabbed Jamie by his jacket and dragged him behind her. "I think Coop has bigger problems than missing a meal."
"Knowing Coop, I doubt that."
In the middle of a mysterious green field, a giant blue robot was lying on its back. Its pilot, barely conscious, reached out for the wheel.
"What's wrong with my hand?" Coop held both hands in front of him to get a better look at them. "Where are my fingers?"
A sudden alarming thought ran through Coop's head, followed by memories of past days when he enjoyed playing his games; playing them with ten working fingers.
"No. Nooooooooooooooo!" Coop cried out, outstretching his fingerless hands into the sky before he passed out from exhaustion.