"I miss ..."
"What?"
"Being trusted."
Those words kept replaying themselves in Sara's head as she continued
her long slog though Child Services' records. This case had already
been playing havoc with both her emotions and her control over them,
and now she felt guilt slowly tipping its load on top of her. Sofia
had taken a couple of pretty hard knocks recently, and even though
she had not known her long, Sara had to admire the way Sofia was
handling them. She wasn't sure she could have coped as well. Or with
as much grace. And, in an almost Grissom-like fashion, she had
totally failed to notice how alone the beautiful blonde had felt till
said blonde had smacked her over the head with it.
"I really should have known better." Sara whispered as she reached
for another file. Five years around Grissom should have taught her
how hurtful such ignorance was. After all, she'd been on the
receiving end enough times. She felt ashamed that she had been caught
doing the same thing to someone else. She also had to admit much to
her, and indeed everyone's surprise, Sofia was managing to fit into
the weird world of grave shift. Fit pretty well into that suit too.
'Oh no, that's so not good' she thought, shaking her head. Sara
could always tell it was time for a break whenever her mind decided
to take up residence in the gutter. Next thing she'd be finding
Greg's jokes funny. Hauling her mind out of the gutter, and her
weary body out of its seat, she went in search of some fresh coffee.
Sara had left Brass to deal with the boys' mother and headed to the
locker room to grab her stuff before she clocked out for the day.
Walking inside, she saw Sofia getting ready to leave. They traded
heys as Sara reached her locker. As she sorted through her stuff she
realized she needed to explain herself to Sofia before she lost her
chance. Taking a deep breath she turned to face her colleague.
"I'm sorry." Sofia turned around, a puzzled look gracing her
features.
"What for?"
"For not being welcoming. For not trusting you." Sara shrugged
shoulders as if to emphasize her apology. Sofia looked at her for a
moment, her blue eyes unreadable.
"Don't worry about it." Sofia said, as turned back towards her
locker again. The blonde's voice, although slightly dismissive, gave
nothing away as to how she was really feeling. As Sofia went to
leave, Sara reached over and grabbed her forearm lightly to stop
her. She waited till Sofia's blue eyes met with her own darker ones
before speaking.
"No, its not. I can remember how unwelcome and lonely I felt when I
first came here. How no one trusted me or my skills. It was awful. I
should have known better than to treat you the same way. I'm
sorry." Sara felt a rush of nervousness as she finished speaking.
Apologizing like this wasn't something she did very often.
Especially not to someone she had only met a couple of weeks ago.
A small smile crept onto Sofia's face as she placed her hand over
Sara's.
"Apology accepted." They stood there staring at each other for a
couple of moments. Sara started becoming acuity aware of the soft
warmth of Sofia's hand on hers. She found herself smiling back at
the blonde. Taking half a step back towards her locker before she
embarrassed herself, she quickly stuttered.
"I'll see you tomorrow then?" Sofia cocked her head slightly at
Sara's abrupt movement, before trailing her eyes over Sara with a
speculative look.
"Actually, I was about to head out to grab a late breakfast. Perhaps
you'd like to join me?" Sofia offered with an air that expected
her question to be answered with a yes. There was something oddly
compelling about the way Sofia spoke to her. She was saying she'd
love to before she even realized she had opened her mouth. Grabbing
her jacket with a wry smile, a stray thought passed though Sara's
head as she followed Sofia out the door.
'She really does fit that suit.'