Hi all, this is my first attempt at a humorous fic so I thought, what better way to do this than to greatly annoy Severus Snape. Please leave reviews, I need ideas for all of the pranks in this competition - within reason, what do you want the characters to do to poor Snape? I also need reviews for motivation and I would like criticism! Here goes:

Every student says a silent prayer before they walk into Potions class in hope that they will survive it without being belittled and mocked by their most hated Professor, the bat of the dungeons. Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley are like magnets for the Professors wrath, so most students in their class are mostly safe, they are never in the limelight with those three Gryffindors in their class.

There is a certain Slytherin who is never afraid to walk into Potions, in fact, it is one of his favourite classes as he always gets to watch his enemies get insulted and best of all, lose house points. Draco Malfoy is determined more than ever to win the House Cup for Slytherin this year. He is still annoyed over the end of their first year where Dumbledore very conveniently gave Gryffindor 110 points to win the Cup after the Slytherins had done so much to secure the win that year. In their second year it had been even more unfair, Potter had snuck into his common room, brewed Polyjuice potions and knocked out two of his friends which is all highly against the rules and yet he had once again gotten 100 points at the end of the year from the blasted headmaster. Draco wasn't in the house of the cunning for nothing though, so he came up with a fool-proof plan to make sure that Gryffindor would lose five times as many house points as they usually did in every 3rd year Potions class.

It was the Monday morning of the third week back in Hogwarts and Harry, Ron and Hermione were just finished with breakfast and were on their way out of the Great Hall to start making their way towards the library. Harry and Ron wanted to quickly try to finish the essays for Transfiguration that they had not been able to complete yesterday evening because of the very important talk about Quidditch that they were having. Hermione was very much enjoying having both boys practically beg for her help until she finally caved in and basically dictated the rest of the essay for them as they scribbled furiously on their parchment.

"That was the last time that I ever help you two with homework" a flustered Hermione said, unsure of how they had been able to convince her to help in the first place.

"Sure" Ron said with an annoying grin on his face, he knew that this definitely was not the last time that he would ask her for help.

When Hermione let out a frustrated huff Harry chuckled. It was always amusing when his two best friends bickered around, they really behaved like an old married couple on the verge of divorce.

They still had 45 minutes left until their first period started, Ron wanted to go back to the Great Hall to eat more since he had practically inhaled all of his food in one go so that they could rush to the library. They settled on going to their now empty common room to eat some chocolate frogs and not think about the two hour potions class that they had right after lunch. While they stalked off towards transfiguration, which they unfortunately had with the Slytherins, they saw Malfoy standing in front of a broom closet at the other end of the hallway. He started making motions for Harry to come over to him.

Harry shot him a glare that had "what do you want" all over it while Ron and Hermione exchanged a worried expression and started to quicken their pace.

"Potter, too scared to talk to me now are you?" Draco snarled, just loud enough for the trio to hear him. Inwardly he was very satisfied, he knew what he needed to say to get the stupid Gryffindors to come to him.

Harry was not going to back down from someone who said he was "too scared" to do something so he stalked over to Draco with a bunch of insults on the ready. He was quite curious as to what Malfoy may want from him as they had been completely ignoring each other since the start of the year. He was honestly starting to miss the whole rivalry that was still there but not as apparent, he loved getting one up on Malfoy.

"What do you want, Malfoy? Still bitter about losing our little duel last year? And is Slytherin still letting you be their seeker? I'll never have a problem getting the Quidditch cup with you as seeker" Harry said confidently with a sneer towards the end as he walked into the closet, insulting Malfoy was like second nature to him. He was so ready to come back from anything that the blond boy would try to retort. Weirdly, he really did miss this. Harry subconsciously noted that Malfoy's two cronies weren't with him which was odd, he never went anywhere without them. He was outnumbered with Hermione and Ron at either one of his sides in what was quite the small space. Then again, Crabbe and Goyle definitely wouldn't fit in the closet with them in there already.

"Funny, Potter. You may have won the duel but at least I cast the spell that made the whole school scared of you for a year. If I were you I would quit Quidditch to save yourself from future embarrassment, my father got me the new Firebolt broom which is far superior to your little Nimbus, which we might as well call an ancient stick rather than a broom." Draco said wanting to make Harry's blood boil a little, if he wanted his plan to work out he would have to try and rile Potter up into being unreasonable and getting him angry was the best way to do just that.

"Skill easily beats your pathetic father's money, Malfoy. You proved that to everyone last year when you bragged about your whole team having new brooms. Who won? Gryffindor." Hermione retorted in the voice she uses to correct people, remembering the time when Malfoy had called her that horrible name.

"Shut it, you filthy mudbl-" Draco started saying nastily before getting cut off.

"Don't. Come on guys, he's not worth it" Ron said glaring daggers at Malfoy.

"WAIT!" Draco cried as the trio started to turn around. "If you win a competition I have an idea for, then I will leave you alone for the rest of your time at Hogwarts and I won't say anything back if you insult me around people for the rest of the year."

That certainly got their attention as the three Gryffindors turned around quickly with their eyebrows unnaturally high up.

"That would definitely make our time here a lot better.." Harry murmured disregarding his thought that he had earlier about liking the trash-talking he and Malfoy did. Nothing is worth seeing Hermione get upset about the horrible things he says. He would love to slap Malfoy's smugness off of his pale face for calling her that word again. "What kind of competition?"

Draco was ecstatic. His plan was slowly working, he had Potter right where he wanted him.

"A pranking competition. On Snape during Potions and in the corridors. Whoever can get Snape the best over the school year wins." Draco almost started bursting out with laughter when he saw the horrified looks on their faces. He knew they wouldn't want to back down. That would give him all the insults he would ever need about them being cowardly which went against everything Gryffindor.

"Oh come on, Potter. It's not like there's much room for more hatred towards you from Snape. But if you are too scared then that's fine I suppose." Draco teased.

"I'm in. Imagine if we won the competition, Harry! We could yell out that Draco has a crush on McGonagall in the middle of the Great Hall and he couldn't say anything back! Blimey, we could absolutely ruin you." Ron said immediately, the last part meant for Draco.

"Harry this is an atrocious idea, this could get us in so much trouble, not to mention the house points we'd lose." Hermione said exasperatedly. Suddenly her expression turned to a look of horror. "Or what if we got expelled" she whispered.

"Come on Harry, this could be so much fun. I can get loads of prank products from my brothers and Snape wouldn't know anything was from you if you do it well." Ron exclaimed.

Harry didn't know what to think, it was like in the cartoons where a person would have an angel and a demon on their shoulder telling them two different things except those were replaced by Hermione and Ron.

"Fine, Malfoy. But we are going to make the rules as a group, I don't want there to be any loopholes or ways to cheat." Harry sighed already knowing that he was going to regret agreeing to this.

Draco couldn't be prouder with himself. Even though he would probably lose house points and get detentions too, he knew that he wouldn't get near as much punishment as they would since Snape always favoured his Slytherins. Now he just needed to get the mudblood on board.

"What about you, Granger?" Draco urged. Potter and Weasel would definitely want her in on this, so they could help him convince her.

"No way. Besides, we need to get to Transfiguration, it starts in exactly 7 minutes and 35 seconds." She said firmly staring at her watch.

Draco rolled his eyes. "Fine. Meet me in the unused classroom on the fourth floor at 13:45. That'll give us a half hour to come up with the rules before potions class." Draco said with a smirk directed at Harry and Ron as he left the broom closet. He knew that Granger would come with them and he would definitely be able to convince her then, he had four hours until lunch to think about what he could say to her to get her to join.

"This is a really bad idea, Ron." Harry exclaimed realising what they had just agreed to. "And we can't back out now"

"I know, mate. Whatever, when have we ever made a good decision."

"Idiots." Hermione huffed and walked out of the closet feeling like she was going to get dragged into this one way or another. Harry and Ron trotted behind her after they had glared at her.