First story ever. Review! I don't own any of this.

BELLA

"Edward…" I could hear my voice, but it didn't feel like me talking

"Bella, no. I can't stay. It'll be better this way. You know what happened with Jasper. We're too dangerous. It's my fault. We're leaving tonight. You'll never see me again. I'm sorry," Edward's calm voice said. Even under the mask he was trying to put on, I could feel the regret, the sorrow.

"Edward, please…" I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks, now. Had it only been yesterday evening that he had kissed me with such passion? That he had told me that he loved me? He couldn't do this. Not now.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I hope you can forgive me." And he was gone.

I looked out into the woods dumbly. How could he just leave me here? How could he even think this would be better? Easier? That I could go on living my life like he was never there? Like I didn't care that he, of all people, could leave. Now all I felt was the anger. I wished he could read my mind. So he could feel the way I did. So he could hurt, too. So he could feel the abandon, the sorrow, feeling worthless and alone, and worst of all, the love. On the last thought I broke down. The sobs racked my body. I fell to the ground, but I didn't feel the pain as the sticks dug into me, snapping from the weight of my body, the jagged ends tearing into my skin. No, I didn't feel anything except the feeling of losing him. Did he not feel the same as I did? How could he blame himself? I lay there in the cold. I must have fallen asleep, because, soon, I didn't feel anything.

"Guys! I found her!" I felt myself being lifted from the ground. Found me? Where was I? Who was this?

I didn't open my eyes. "Edward?" My tongue felt like a giant sponge in my mouth.

"No, Bella, he's not here. It's Sam." Sam Uley? From the reserve? There was anger in his voice. Why was he here? Then it all came flooding back. From my unopened eyes, the tears came flowing back down my cheeks.

My head hurt so bad, and my body ached. "I don't want you. Put me back. Edward will come get me," I protested. My words were slurred, like I had been drinking.

Suddenly, I felt being transferred to someone else's arms. "Bella? Bella?" Charlie? "Bella, it's going to be okay. You got lost on the trail, but it's okay now. We found you." I could hear the tears in his voice. Was he crying too?

"Mr. Swan, I'll carry her back to the house," said Sam.

No, you will not put me back in his arms. You will not. NO! I don't want him! I want Edward! NO! I couldn't find the strength to open my mouth and protest. I felt myself gently being put back in Sam's arms.

He was walking back to my house. No! I don't want to go there! Don't you understand? He'll never come back when I'm safe! He continued walking while I yelled at him from the seclusion of my mind. There was nothing I could do about it now, anyway.

I felt him walk me up the stairs in my house and lay me down. Probably in my bead, but I still hadn't opened my eyes yet. I felt a certain numbness engulf my body, and I remember no more.

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When I woke up I was lying on my bed. I felt confused. Did Edward really leave me? He wasn't sitting in the chair that he always was in when I woke up. He was gone. It wasn't a dream. I was alone. Just then, Charlie came in. he ran to the side of the bed and hugged me.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. Are you okay? Do you need anything? Tylenol? Orange juice? Water? Bella?" He was crying now, and he still hadn't let go. How could I have done this to him?

"Charlie, I'm okay. Really." Wow. Convincing. "Hey, what time is it?"

"Around five o'clock," he said, pulling away.

I looked at him in disbelief. Ugh, I hadn't slept that long ever.

He must have seen my look, because he said, "You kept waking up screaming last night. You kept yelling for Edward, and asking why he wasn't there. Don't you remember?"

I guess I gave him a look, so he let go of it.

"Are you hungry?" he asked.

"Kinda. Did you eat yet?"

"No, I haven't"

"How 'bout I make us some grilled cheeses?

"That sounds great, but are you up for it?" he gestured to my arms, where the sticks had cut them the worst.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," I said. As I stood up, red splotches covered my vision, and I lost my balance.

"Bella!" Charlie yelled, catching me as I swayed dangerously to the side. "Are you okay?"

The red splotches started to fade. "Yeah, just a little vertigo. I'm fine., really." I added when he didn't look too convinced. My poor balance threatened to pull me down the steps a couple times, not helping me convince Charlie that everything was fine. Or, as fine as my life would ever be without Edward.

I had started cleaning up the things from dinner when Charlie said, "Hey, Bells? You don't mind if I go to the station real quick, do you? I need to check up on some things."

"Yeah sure no problem." As long as you don't leave me, and not come back. That won't be the first time someone's left me.

"Really? I don't have to. I can stay here. It's not that important."

"No, Charlie, it's fine. Go." After he left, I cleaned up the kitchen a little. It he tried to cook himself eggs or something for breakfast, but ended up burning them, and leaving the remnants on the pan. Apparently, he abandoned the eggs to eat cereal, so I cleaned his bowl, too.

There were six messages on the answering machine. Charlie usually didn't check them himself, so I usually did that. I figured I might as well listen to them. Secretly, I was only wondering if Edward had called.

"Bella? Hi. It's Angela. I heard Edward left. I'm so sorry. Call me later if you want to talk about it."

"Hey, Bella! It's Mike. I heard Cullen left, and I was thinking, if you were free tomorrow we could-" I deleted his message. It didn't matter to me. Nothing matters anymore.

"Charlie? Hey, it's Billy. How 'bout you come over and watch the game tonight? You might wanna bring some snacks, though, because the kids ate basically every thing here. Bye."

"Yo, Bella. It's Mike again. I was wondering why you didn't call back yet and-" How could he even think that I would date him?

"Hey, Bella" Don't tell me it's Mike again. Maybe if I delete it now… "it's Jacob. Maybe, um, since the bloodsuckers- I mean, the, uh, Cullens are gone, you might wanna, um, come hangout sometime at LaPush? Uh, okay, um, bye." How did everyone know they were already gone? It's not like they talked to anyone besides me.

"Bella. Please don't do anything stupid while I'm gone." I had forgotten about the last message. He makes it sound like he's coming back, even though I knew he wasn't going to. I need him. He needs to come back. In a fog, I stumbled into the living room, and collapsed on the couch, buried my face in the cushion, and cried. I cried until I thought it could go on no longer. I sat up wiped and away my tears. I wasn't going to let this get to me. He couldn't rule my life like this. He couldn't do that to me. Not while he was still gone. But he was. This time, I made it to my room before I broke down again. I couldn't live like this.

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I don't remember when Charlie came home, but I don't care. Nothing matters. Nothing will matter until Edward is here.

I don't remember getting in my pajamas, or climbing into bed, or turning off the light, but all of a sudden I'm laying in my bed waiting. I guess I was waiting for Edward, but I'm not sure why. Slowly the time on the clock slid by. Eleven thirty. Twelve. One thirty. Two. Two ten. He never came that late. I cried.

I must have fallen asleep, because when I looked at the clock, it was seven. School started at seven thirty. Whatever. I'll just go and get there when I get there. No big deal. I got in the shower and turned it on as high as it could go. Since Charlie had already left, he wouldn't need the hot water anyway. Half way through my shower, the water went cold. I finished my shower in the freezing water. For some reason, it made me feel more alive. Maybe I should do it more often. I only wasted fifteen minutes in the shower. I didn't bother with blow-drying my hair. I didn't need to look good for anyone, did I? I brushed my teeth, and looked in the fogged up mirror. My eyes were red from crying, but there was nothing I could do about that, could I? I didn't even bother to try to think of an excuse, because I didn't need one.

I realized that I didn't trip once getting to school that morning. Maybe Edward leaving was a good thing. No. Who was I kidding? I'd rather fall on my butt every day for the rest of my life than live without him.