Hi guys I'm back! I just want to say a massive thank you for all of your lovely comments on my previous stories. They really made my day! I have been working on this fic for quite a while now. It's going to be a multi chater one, and I'm still figuring out the story so we'll see how it goes.
To be warned, this story is rated M for a reason. There's some pretty dark content here, including depictions of abuse and attempted sexual assault, as well as bad language. Hope you enjoy it!
Intoxicating Chemistry
Emptiness. A cold, dark, terrifying feeling that seems to eat away at you, spreading slowly and painfully through your body like that a tumor. A huge gaping hole threatening to swallow you up at every turn, with an accompanying roar in your ears that drowns out all the other sounds, cutting you off from the world, leaving you alone and vulnerable to your inner chaos. Time just stops and you find yourself just staring numbly at the nearest object, staring at it long enough to memorize every little detail, but not taking any of it in. You don't know you're staring at the object, you can't even see it.
You try to ignore these dark emotions you're feeling by losing yourself in your favourite show, or immersing yourself in your daily homework and study. Often, for a fleeting moment, you forget how you are feeling, the current state of your life. But then you remember it almost straight away, the reminder hanging over you like a dark cloud. You just feel devoid and hollow, the constant feeling that no one cares about you or loves you, staying with you every minute of every day. The feeling that you're screaming and screaming, but no one can hear you. Or no one cares.
That was how El Hopper felt every day.
El jumped and quickly pulled the sleeves of her hoodie over her arms and making sure her arms were completely covered, wincing at the familiar high-pitched whine shouting her name impatiently. Grabbing some rubber bands from her tiny drawer, she slipped them on her wrists, carefully concealing them under her jumper. Diane hated anything that looked cheap or common. If she saw them…
El pushed that thought away immediately and rubbed her eyes, trying to forget the events of the previous night. Grabbing her school bag, she reluctantly made her way out of her tiny, plain, hospital like bedroom no bigger than a cupboard. She rushed upstairs out of the draughty basement, to the large, blindingly white kitchen where she could smell the familiar smell of pancakes.
The fresh aroma of sweetness greeted her as she stepped in. Her father was reading the newspaper at the counter and sipping his morning coffee. Sara was tucking into a pancake, pouring maple syrup all over it and eating it with gusto. If El had ever eaten like that, she would have received a hard slap, or worse. Her twelve-year-old half-sister always got away with everything. With her blonde hair, blue eyes and angelic face, she had everyone wound around her little finger. She gave El a dirty look and made a rude sign at her as she entered. El was tempted to do it back but she didn't, in fear of what she would do if she saw her, or if Sara snitched. Which she did. Constantly.
'Breakfast is on the counter,' Diane said shortly, not bothering to turn around, and immediately continued singing an oldies song on the radio. Sometimes, it amazed El how she could change personalities as quickly, and as easily as changing clothes. It intrigued and terrified her, all at the same time.
El's father was also humming along to the song, the pair exchanging sickeningly loving looks as they sang to the lyrics. El looked away, noticing the small brown paper bag on the edge of the counter and bit her lip. Probably a stale sandwich in there. Maybe a three-day old muffin if she was lucky.
'Your algebra test from last week was an absolute disgrace,' Diane said casually in her chastising voice, but El shivered when she heard the threatening undertone. She always knew she was talking to her when she spoke like that. She never spoke to Sara or her father in that way. Must keep quiet. 'I will not accept a lower score than A+. And neither will your father.'
She paused, holding up her ladle in the air. 'You should be more grateful to us, young lady.' She continued, her voice on a more bitter tone. 'We expect a bit more thanks, Jane, if you please.' Her lip curled as she said her name, like it was poison.
El stood there, quietly taking all the abuse.
'And remember, no buying canteen food. The muffin I gave you should do fine.' A-ha. So, it is a muffin. 'That canteen food is far too unhealthy, and your father and I think that you're eating too much already.' Diane looked over in her direction, raising her eyebrows as she looked judgingly at her body. El swallowed, fixing her jumper hugging her slim figure self-consciously. El wasn't in any way overweight. If anything, she was probably the thinnest out of all her family. Diane was always doing this, constantly finding ways to mess with her mind.
This was Diane being nice. Most of the time, El got insults that stuck to her skin like shards of glass. And that was just the beginning.
Jim continued to read his newspaper, not looking up once. There he was again, pretending he didn't notice. That was how it always was, but El had gotten used to it now. Even when she was rushed to hospital after a serious panic attack at school when she was eight, on the same day as Jim and Diane's wedding anniversary. They had gone out to the city for the evening to celebrate, and didn't even visit her during her overnight stay.
The nurses had shaken their heads in sympathy and reassured her when they were informed that he wasn't coming, but she noticed them exchange shocked and saddened looks when they thought she wasn't looking. Looks that confirmed to her eight-year-old self that her dad didn't care. Or that he was completely blinded by his love for Diane.
Biting her lip and averting her eyes, she grabbed her school bag and lunch. 'Okay, um- see you guys later then.' Diane simply narrowed her eyes at her, pursing her lips. None of them responded, treating her as if she were part of the wall, as always. El bit her lip so hard she could almost taste blood, then pivoted and left the house.
An outsider would say, 'What could you possibly have to be depressed about? You have everything! You're have a perfect, loving family who support you no matter what, a huge house in the best, safest neighbourhood in town, you excel in all your subjects, your teachers love you, and you have a very good chance of getting into all the colleges you apply for!' That was what everyone saw on the outside.
This was what El told herself in her head everyday as she stared at herself in her tiny bedroom mirror, chanting it to herself desperately as if saying it will make it all come true. This bullshit was what kept her going. The false pretence that her life was perfect.
The truth is that people didn't talk to her much, if at all. El was a loner - no one bothered with her, so she didn't bother with them.
Jane Hopper, the name everyone knew her by, was like a name out of a storybook. The name wanted to make her recoil. It was this false image of herself that she let everyone believe was true. El strove to be perfect, making it her life's mission to make her father proud. She needed him to be proud of her, to show him that she can achieve something. She wanted him to notice her so badly, it hurt. Diane always sneered cruelly at her attempts. Her father simply nodded, muttering a well done Jane and returned to whatever else he was doing. El knew that deep inside, he cared. But she had learned long ago that he would always put Diane and Sara before her, without a second thought.
Bastard girl. That was what her stepmother called her behind her back, to Jim, her posh-nob friends and to her own family when they visited. El didn't flinch at the word anymore. Diane called her worse names when they were alone. She put on a false air of sickly sweetness when speaking to El in public, barely concealing the coldness and disinterest in her eyes. It was enough to fool Jim. But El noticed. Every time.
And every time they were alone, Diane could do what she wanted with her.
El hated the name Jane with a passion. It just felt wrong to her, like she was trying on clothes that were several sizes too small for her. But she knew asking people to call her El was way too personal. It was what her mother called her. Not even her dad knew that she secretly went by that name, or that she had any alternative name before she went to live with him. No one knew. And it was going to stay that way.
El winced slightly at the sharp pain as she fixed the strap of her schoolbag. The bruises from last night were still there. It seemed that as she got older, she would find more excuses to hurt her. Her stepmother was so false. On the outside, she was the perfect mother, the perfect wife with a perfect family, lived in a perfect house, and had a perfect life. She wore perfect clothes, had a perfect reputation, and was known to be kind, generous, fashionable, charismatic and beautiful. She was a prominent member of the school Board of Managements for Hawkins Elementary, Middle and High Schools. The fact that she was on very good terms with the mayor didn't hurt either.
She organises fundraisers for charities, took part in local petitions and, most impressively, arranged celebrity visits to the local children's hospital. Diane came from a wealthy, 'old money' family, and has many, many connections. She was the perfect example of what a successful woman should be. Everyone loved her, everyone wanted to be her. She fooled everyone in Hawkins into believing she was this picture perfect middle-class woman. Everyone but El.
'You're worthless!', she hissed in her face as she gripped El's arm so tightly, she could feel bruises forming, her claw-like nails cutting into the delicate tissue of her skin. 'It would have been better if you were never born. You're a burden to everyone, you little piece of shit. It's a wonder your father puts up with you at all. Even your mother hated you.'
She laughed coldly and gripped El's chin so tightly it hurt and brought her face right up close to hers. The spittle flying from her mouth and landing on El's face. 'I bet she killed herself because she couldn't stand the sight of you.' She narrowed her eyes at El in hatred, and spat. 'Do us all a favour and do the same.'
As El walked into Hawkins High, she kept her eyes cast downwards. She moved through the crowd, trying her best make herself invisible, like always. People pushed past her and she hunched up, trying to make herself even smaller. She pulled her hood over her thick curly hair and shoved her hands in her pockets as she moved through the crowds. No one bothered her and no one gave her a second glance. She managed to reach her locker and quickly unlocked it, exchanging her books.
Maybe she wouldn't see them today. Maybe they found someone else to victimize. For a second she allowed herself to hope that maybe, maybe today they'd leave her alone. Sadly, she hoped in vain.
She yelped as two large hands suddenly grabbed her by the waist, sneaking around her stomach, and pressing her back against a hard chest. 'Hey, baby,' that voice murmured, sending shivers of revulsion down her spine. She squirmed in disgust, trying to shove off the person who had invaded her personal space, and was now disgustingly whispering in her ear.
'Fuck off, Troy!'
He laughed, and his goonies who were hanging around him chuckled too, clearly enjoying themselves as they watched their leader harass their classmate. Troy gripped her tighter, his hand moving down her thigh. 'Let's not be like this, Janie. You know you want me. All you gotta do is say the word.' He pulled down her hood and sniffed her hair suggestively, inhaling it with relish. El tried not to throw up in absolute revolt.
'If I had to pick between you and a cactus, Troy, I would choose the cactus!' She snapped. It was times like this when she wished she didn't have to hide her true self from everyone. It would be so much easier. No one would go near her, if they knew what she was capable of. But it was far too dangerous and too much of a risk, to herself and to the people around her. She didn't want to hurt people, even if they really deserved it. She couldn't control it, this thing inside of her. The last time… El tried not to think about that day. Nowadays, she just defended herself how everyone else did - using the old-fashioned way.
El stamped on his foot as hard as possible. She heard a quiet oof, and his grip on her waist loosened. She whirled around, shoving him away, eyes blazing furiously. He was laughing, his dark hair gelled back to keep it out of his face and his handsome, boyish good-looks making every girl who comes across him fall head over heels for him. He sneered, unaffected by her outburst as he trailed his eyes up and down her form.
'You're playing hard to get, aren't you?' He took a step towards her. Just then, a voice called out over the noise, 'Mr Harrington!', causing Troy to immedietly stand up straight and look up, his new respectful attitude a sharp contrast to the more leering one he had around El and his friends. 'Principal Jenkins! How are you doing today sir?' He was smiling politely, looking like a typical over eager star-pupil. El wanted to vomit.
'I'm very well, thank you for asking.' Principal Jenkins approached the group, beaming with pride at the student body president and captain of the football team. His hands clasped behind his back 'I just wanted to re-congratulate you on your fantastic game last night. Thanks to you, Hawkins high are moving to the finals for a third year in a row. You have done this school proud. With your leadership skills and teamwork efforts, you are a perfect example to our students.'
'Oh, no, don't thank me sir,' Troy grinned. 'It's my pleasure to represent this school. And winning for this school with my team, especially because we worked so hard to get this far.'
'That's the spirit,' Principal Jenkins said enthusiastically, clapping Troy on the back. 'If only all students were as dedicated as you are. Keep up the good work, young man. And say hello to your father for me.'
'Will do sir. Thank you.' The principal smiled proudly at him, before continuing down the corridor.
'You see Janie.' Troy approached her, grinning slyly. 'Everyone loves and respects me. It's no accident that I happen to have Jenkins eating out of my hand. Which is why it's a complete mystery to me, why you seem to be the only girl in this entire school who hates my guts.'
'You must have been born on a highway Troy, because that's where most accidents happen! Leave. Me. Alone.' She said through gritted teeth. She slammed her locker shut and shoved past the group of jocks, as they laughed off her insult. People stared as she stalked past, whispering to one another and chuckling. El avoided any eye contact with anyone and continued walking towards her classroom. She was going to be at least five minutes early, but she didn't care. She just wanted to get away from everyone.
Just when she got to the door of her classroom, her path was suddenly blocked by someone wearing designer stilettos and a tight leather skirt that showed off her curves. El groaned, not daring to look up, but she knew she was surrounded by the small pathetic posse of wannabes that followed this girl everywhere. God, she really didn't need this right now. She spoke to the school queen-bee in her usual bored tone, like she'd rather be scooping shit than bothering with the likes of her.
'What the fuck do you want Stacy.'
El looked up, glaring at her, as the other girl was at least a head taller than her. Stacy smirked at her, giving her the stink-eye. All her friends were throwing her similar looks, like she was something that got stuck to their fancy shoes.
'What happened to your hair Jane, sweetie?' Stacy feigned concern, her eyes wide and innocent, her perfect lips pouting. 'Still styling it with a weed-whacker?' She heard snickers all around her. Stacy reached out and grabbed a hank of her hair, tugging sharply and making El wince. Stacy suddenly pinched her delicate nose with her manicured nail, her nose wrinkling.
'What is that smell! Pooh Hopper, don't they have showers where you come from?'
'Silly Stacy,' Delia, one of Stacy's goonies stepped forward, smirking with her hand on her slim hip. 'They don't have showers in Hoboville.' She cracked up, as did the rest of her friends, like it was the funniest thing ever. El rolled her eyes. Even though these girls were scary as hell, compared to her, it made Stacy and Troy seem like spoilt kindergarteners.
She looked over at Delia, who was laughing in a ridiculously false way and raised her eyebrows, snarking. 'Gee, Delia. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all that shit that comes out of your mouth.'
El smirked as a look of disbelief came across Delia's face. El pushed past Stacy, wanting to get to her class, but was then jerked backwards roughly. Stacy had grabbed a hank of her hair and was pulling her backwards.
'I think Jane here, needs a reminder, that freaks don't belong in this school. Not under my watch. Grab her!' El struggled and yelped as she felt herself being roughly restrained by the other girls and dragged towards the girl's bathroom. They gripped her bruised shoulders and she bit down hard on her lip to stop herself from crying out.
There were at least six of them and one of her. The odds were not in her favour. She did her best to try and ignore the twitching she felt when she felt the growing urge to lose control. It was getting harder every time it happened. But this time, she didn't calm herself down.
She knew it was a terrible idea. But El had had a bad morning. She did not want to go through the rest of her day with disgusting toilet water soaked hair. Oh, fuck it, El thought, giving in.
So as Stacy's gang were forcing her into a cubicle, El snapped. She caught sight of the water in the cubicles, and lowering her head slightly, concentrating.
El was quick to duck as water shot through the opening of the toilet, and into the girl's faces. They shrieked in horror. And just like that, complete chaos arose.
Stacy and her friends were screaming and running, trying to avoid the water, only to keep slipping and sliding on the flooded floor. All the other toilets were gushing out filthy water as well. El watched the display in amusement for a moment, as her tormentors simultaneously cried about their ruined hair, make up and clothes, and tried to run for cover. She smiled to herself. It was a good feeling, getting her own back on them. During the confusion, no one saw the school freak quietly slip out into the corridor.
She approached a teacher who was passing by. 'Sir? I think the girl's bathroom is flooded.'
The story of what had happened in the girl's bathroom before first period spread around the school like wildfire. Students had taken photos and videos of Stacy and her gang as they stumbled out of the bathroom, a sopping mess and they were already the laughing stock of the school. It was rumoured that Stacy went home early from the embarrassment.
All the teachers and students assumed it was simply a plumbing problem. It was a shitty school building anyway, there were always pipes leaking or mouldy ceilings. Last semester, there was even a rat infestation. A mechanic had already been brought in to fix the apparent plumbing problem. El, as usual, kept her head down and worked while the rest of the class whispered about the toilet incident. El knew she shouldn't feel worried. Stacy and her group wouldn't think she had something to do it, not without convincing everyone that they were crazy. But El couldn't help but feel slightly anxious.
So, she spent the rest of the day avoiding Stacy's posse. Thankfully they seemed to be avoiding her too, clearly humiliated about the unexpected turn of events. But El caught them glaring at her suspiciously several times. They clearly suspected she had something to do with the toilets malfunctioning. Or they were just super pissed that their bullying led to their uber-humiliation.
El wandered around the library, running her hand along the spines of the books. She always sat here during lunch. No one usually came here, and it was so much more peaceful than the noisy canteen. El kept her sleeves pulled up as she pulled out books from the shelves. She could feel her arms stinging slightly, the healing cuts not reacting well to the fibres of her hoodie. The memory of what had happened the previous night rushed through her brain, but she pushed it back, not wanting to think about it.
Of course, Stacy would be back for revenge, El thought absentmindedly, but whatever she had planned, it couldn't be any worse than her current life with her.
El stayed on after school for a few hours to help build the set for the school musical, which was Oklahoma. El wasn't the world's greatest artist, but the drama department were short on help. She didn't hesitate in volunteering. It meant she didn't have to go back to the house straight away after school. She enjoyed painting some of the backgrounds and helping with the props, but honestly? That wasn't the real reason she had volunteered, apart from avoiding the house.
El watched in fascination as the actors rehearsed a scene, pausing from painting a tree with her brush in mid-air, to focus on them. They jumped into a song, a joyful and eager one, and El was in complete awe as she watched. The actors slipped into the dance routine, singing at the top of their voices. Acting and musical theatre was something El had always enjoyed. But she didn't dare try out for school productions. She had once made the mistake of talking to her family one night at dinner about her drama teacher praising her acting ability. El was genuinely proud that she had impressed her teacher, and that she was good at something she loved.
But Diane, hating to see her happy about anything, laughed coldly. 'Acting and drama, is it now? What will it be next Jane, hmm? Dancing? Art? I won't have you try to pursue this vulgar hobby. You need to get rid of this silly, unrealistic idea of yours, or there will be consequences.' Her father, as usual, agreed with Diane.
El received a bruising on the right side of her face that night, which she dismissed to her teachers as having acquired it when she bumped into a street light. Sara had snickered that day, asking if she was born with two left feet or did she practice, ridiculing her and making Diane laugh cruelly. Her father either didn't notice, or accepted her lame excuse. No one at school seemed to care either. El had opted stay silent at the dinner table from then on.
El sighed, and returned to her painting. Two more years until graduation. Then she can leave this damned place. Then, and only then, is she free.
It was approaching half seven when she left the school building. Her father, stepmother and Sara probably already had dinner back at the house. Most likely, they barely noticed, presumably relieved that they wouldn't have to put up with her. Doubtless, the dishes were still on the table, waiting for her to clear up after them, and do her usual routine of washing up. El thought about the rehearsals, wistfully trying to imagine herself on that stage, singing and acting her heart out. It made her feel warm and fuzzy, at the thought of it. Sadly her dream was not meant to be.
She was so zoned out, that she didn't hear the distant shouts of the football players who were also leaving the school grounds. It was only when she heard her name drunkenly being called out by the delighted ringleader, that she realised she wasn't alone.
She whirled around to see them ambling towards her, holding cans of beer. Drinking on school grounds. They had probably snuck them in when the coach wasn't looking.
'Jane, Janie, baby girl, come to join the party?' Troy slurred as he walked towards her, flanked by his loyal teammates. He was grinning like he had won a prize and was looking at her like she was a piece of meat. El looked around desperately, trying to see if anyone else was around, who could help her. But the school grounds appeared to be empty. Everyone had already gone home after the rehearsal, she was one of the last ones to leave. The drama teacher, Ms Madden's car, was thankfully still parked in the car park and El prayed furiously that she would appear.
Troy couldn't do much in school, when they were under teacher's noses, but here he was with his friends, alone and unsupervised, and worst of all, drunk as hell. El felt that horrible feeling of vulnerability creep over her. She started to walk hurriedly away.
'Hey, where you going? You're not going anywhere, baby girl. Come here.' El fearfully started to pick up her pace. Troy's goonies suddenly leapt in front of her, looming over her and surrounding her within seconds. Heart leaping to her throat and panic tearing through her, she tried to break away from them, but someone caught her from behind, restraining her and pulling her up against their huge, bulky body. El froze. Oh God, she thought, bile rising to her throat. Oh God no. Please no. Anything but this.
'Oh, you're not going anywhere,' Troy purred in her ear, his breath smelling heavily of alcohol. His hand reached in between his body and her petite, lithe one, and grabbed a handful of her ass, squeezing. El shrieked in fury, attempting to stamp on his foot again, missing it during her panic
'Let me go! Let me go Troy! Let me go!' She screamed. She felt his sweaty hand clamp tightly over her mouth. She bit down on his hand harshly, tasting blood and Troy growled in pain.
'Bitch!' He snarled, and without giving her time to resist, she felt more hands clamp on her face and her legs were suddenly grabbed forcefully, hands gripping her tightly as she felt herself being dragged away. She struggled feebly against her captors stronger, more built physique, and despairingly kicking out at them, crying out and shrieking helplessly. They were going around the back of the school, to make sure they were completely out of sight. This made her struggle more.
'She's a feisty one, this one. I want a go when you're done with her Troy.'
'And a nice ass too. Can't believe she doesn't hang around with Stacy.'
'Well, what do they say? The quiet ones have the best pussies. I bet she's never been fucked.'
'Yeah man, she's gonna be so tight.'
'Easy guys,' Troy snarled. 'I'm doing her first, then we'll see if she's up for another round.' El desperately bit at the hands that were pinching her nose and covering her mouth. She couldn't get any air in her lungs, what with her screaming and crying for help at the same time. Her tears flowed in heavy torrents as she sobbed.
'God shut her up, will you Troy. I can't stand listening to her fucking whimpering.'
'I'm working on it,' Troy snapped. Suddenly, Troy's meaty hand grabbed her by the throat, squeezing. She spluttered and choked, feeling herself being forcibly thrown against something hard and wiry. The fence. Her arms were restrained by two of Troy's goonies, who were also covering her mouth, and forcing her head upwards. She begged them not to, crying and trembling, struggling powerlessly. They were just too strong for her. Her hoodie was zipped down and she felt hands travel up inside her top, towards her bra. In his drunken haze, he pulled down the straps of her sleeveless top, ripping the top in the process. She cried out at the shock of the burning pain.
'Shhh.' Troy shushed her. 'We're gonna have some fun, baby. Relax, okay, just relax.' Troy whispered and she heard him unzip his pants.
Something in El snapped for the second time that day. Her heart rate increased and she suddenly found it difficult to hear. Her fear disappeared and anger boiled up inside of her, consuming her. All that rage came out faster than magma, and just as destructive. She lost control over herself. All she knew at that moment, was that she wasn't going to let them do this to her.
There was a rush of wind as Troy was thrown backwards by an invisible force. His back colliding with a bin. Before his friends had time to react, they too found themselves flung away from her in different directions. Some hitting the wall of the school, others crashing into bins and some simply on the tarmac. Shrieking and swearing as they flew to the air, stopping abruptly as they landed roughly.
El didn't stick around. She ran.
Running around the school building, she whipped past the drama teacher, Ms Riordan walking towards her car, who had only decided to that now. 'Ms Hopper?' She heard her call out. El kept running.
El had no idea where she was going. She didn't think nor did she register the fact that it was getting dark and storm clouds were gathering. She just knew that she had to run as far away as possible. Adrenaline coursed through her veins. Her breath came in short gasps.
Gut-wrenching, heart pumping— after several thrusts forward her legs became tired. But her legs kept moving. At the speed she was going, she could barely see a few metres ahead of her. A few droplets of rain landed on her face. Within minutes it was lashing rain. El didn't bother pulling her hood up. Her hair was soon plastered against her head, having lost its usual volume.
But she didn't notice, instead continuing to run, her feet flying over the tarmac. Her shoes slammed through puddles, causing mud and water to slosh up her legs. Her calves burned but she ignored it.
She had no idea what part of town she was in, and she didn't care. The dim street lights illuminated the buildings as she sprinted past. She lifted her eyes for a brief moment, and saw the derelict buildings, the graffiti covered walls, the paths littered with bins, and the rundown apartment blocks that were a far cry from the part of Hawkins she lived in.
She had somehow reached the West side of Hawkins. The worst place possible that she could have ended up in. The town's poorest district, where the Hawkins crime rate was at its highest, where gangs roamed the streets dealing drugs, where vandalism was considered a full time hobby, where the Hawkins trailer park resided and where, as the town's chief of police, her dad spent ninety-five per cent of his time chasing down criminals.
Now fully aware of her whereabouts, El noticed that her lungs were on fire and there was a horrible stitch in her abdomen, that was so painful it made her double over. She winced at the pain, holding her hand to her stomach and slowed down, her legs nearly giving out.
El was bending down, struggling to inhale, to exhale, to do anything at that moment. She couldn't even cry, her eyes having lost the ability to produce tears a long time ago. There was a silence to her soul and numbness to her heart as she struggled to recap what had just happened to her.
She felt like throwing up.
El is dimly aware off approaching motorcycles. She's also aware that she's standing in the middle of the road. But she's lost the ability to move or to feel. She can only hear the rumbling sounds of the engines as they get closer and the thump thump thump of her heartbeat ringing in her ears. She's in a trance, her eyes staring straight ahead of her and the emptiness filling her up. Her fists were clenched so tightly, that she could feel the nails digging into her. She shivered as she walked slowly, the cold finally getting to her. She rubbed her forearms up and down, trying to keep herself warm.
The motorcycles were getting closer, but she didn't look up. She didn't hear the loud 'Shit!' and an angry, 'What the fuck?', and the loud screeching of wheels against the tarmac as the bikers braked sharply and roughly.
She flinched as the head lights from the four motorcycles hit her, blinking in the sudden brightness. Rain dripped from her soaking clothes and she shivered, her chest moving up and down as she took huge breaths. The motorcyclists roared abruptly to a halt to avoid hitting her. The motorcycle in the middle was braking faster than necessary, causing the rider behind him to accidently bump against his vehicle, resulting in a loud scraping sound and accompanied with a loud 'fuck' and 'shit, sorry boss'. They roared to a halt when they were about twenty feet away, their engines still running. El involuntarily took a step backwards, their looming, intimidating presence putting fear in her heart.
'What the fuck? Get off the fucking road,' one of them shouted to her. She heard the threatening, furious undertone in his voice, and El suddenly realised that she had gotten herself in an unwanted situation. She immediately froze, her eyes flicking fearfully over the motorcyclists. Oh God.
They were all wearing helmets and donning expensive looking black leather jackets. Even though she couldn't see their faces, she knew from their body language, that their eyes were burning into her. Clearly, she had pissed them off. Run El, run!
'Look what we have here, boys,' a deep voice taunted, making El gulp, 'A little rich girl whose lost her way home. Looks like you accidently wandered into the hydra lair.' The biker in the middle was talking. He leered at her, cocking his head calmly to one side. The fact that she couldn't see his face made her feel more petrified of this stranger. She could practically feel an ominous vibe coming from him. He leaned forward on his motorcycle. El couldn't move, as he spoke slowly with a not so subtle threat. 'And fucking made me mess up the paintwork on my bike.'
El didn't hesitate. She just wanted to get away from them, go back to the house, go back to the school, whatever. She pivoted and took off. Her feet pounded against the wet tarmac with all the grace of a sack of wet concrete. She heard the roaring of the engines behind her. She ran faster, but it was useless.
One of them raced up past her, then drove his motorcycle in front of her, effectively blocking her path. She was surrounded by the bikers within seconds. Her heart started pounding at an increasingly rapid pace and her mind was running wild. Oh, shit. Fuck, fuck, fuck, El! What did you get yourself into?
'Where the hell you think you're goin' princess?' One of them jeered. Desperately, El attempted to bolt through a gap between two of the motorcycles nearest to her. Her way was blocked by the two bikers, getting off their motorcycles in a flash, and pulling off their helmets, forcefully blocked her way. 'Not so fast, kitty cat.' The larger one of them taunted, towering over her. His look was almost playful, like threatening people was something he enjoyed. He had the body of a professional MMA fighter, his muscles clearly straining against his t-shirt, and his leather jacket barely fitting his torso. He grinned at her toothily. The other one didn't have his bulky physique, but looked just as menacing, his face etched into a permanent scowl, his dark skin almost blending with his entirely black wardrobe, similar to what the all the other bikers were wearing. He wore a khaki band around his head. They both had a bodyguard stance, arms folded and blocking her way. El stumbled as she stepped back shakily.
'Fuck it!' She heard a voice yell behind her. 'Bitch made me scratch my paintwork.' There was hostility in his voice. El was immobilised with anxiety. She stiffened when she heard him speak again. Except this time the anger was gone. This time it was filled with authority, a coldness to his tone that sent shivers down her spine as he addressed her. 'Turn around.'
Gulping, El did as she was told. She slowly looked up, heart pounding.
The man who spoke to her got off his motorcycle. Not looking away from her, he slowly pulled his helmet off.
El opened her mouth to say something, to apologise, to tell them to leave her alone, anything, anything to get herself out of this goddam situation. But words left her as she suddenly met two dark brown, almost black eyes, staring intimidatingly down at her. Her mind went completely blank and she was suddenly unable to find her voice, rendered totally speechless.
El had seen many good-looking boys at her school, Troy being one of them. But they suddenly seemed plain in comparison to the person standing before her. They had absolutely nothing on him. El couldn't register what she was seeing at first.
High cheekbones and a strong jawline sharply accentuated his features, his dark eyebrows furrowed together in a scowl as he glared at her. His physique was strong and muscular looking and his hair was a mass of dishevelled curling, ebony-black locks untidily slicked back. Her voice was completely lodged in her throat, and she was unable to breathe, completely blown away. He was the most gorgeous man she had ever seen. He was fucking hot.
His full lips were pulled back in a sneer as he stared at her with contempt. 'You've wandered a long way away from home, princess,' he said sardonically.
El heard the threatening undertone and she swallowed, completely tongue-tied, unable to look away from his intense stare. She was struck dumb, unable to get a word out. From fear or awe, she wasn't sure. She carefully looked him over, casually checking him out. He was wearing tight denim jeans slung low and tucked into black combat boots. El caught her breath when she realised that he wasn't wearing anything under his leather jacket, his abs partly visible in the dim lighting. She looked away quickly, heat rising to her face. She hoped he didn't notice.
'Listen here,' he said in a low voice, 'We don't want any of you, prissy townie fuckers coming into our territory.' His voice came out in a dangerous hiss. 'We don't take well to intruders here in the Westside. This is hydra ground, where you're standing on. But since you're not one of those cowardly little rich boys who come here to mess with us, or anyone of authority in your side of the town, I suggest that when we're done here you leave.'
He paused, letting that sink in. 'And not only did you cross into our territory, you messed up my motorcycle. That Harley means a fucking lot to me, unlike you, little princess. All you spoilt Hawkins girls are the same. 'You're just all just a fucking stereotype. Probably get anything you want from your classic suburban parents and takes everything for granted,' he said sneeringly. 'But hurting you in any way, won't get me anywhere, nor will it do me any fucking good. You won't be able to get me arrested, princess, even if you tried. So, I don't wanna cause any trouble. Not unless it's fucking necessary.' Even though his words were supposed to bring her relief, it didn't slow down the banging of her heart against her chest.
'Therefore, I expect an apology real fucking quick from you, understand?' She flinched at his tone. Cold eyes penetrated her own, making her hands shake slightly.
'Can you not talk either? What, do I have to communicate with sign language?' He said sarcastically, and smiling mirthlessly, his eyes cold and dark as they bore into her, and stalked slowly up to her. El was still immobilised, and simply watched anxiously as he came closer until he was towering above her. He was so tall, that she only came up to his chest.
He pulled out a cigarette and holding it in his mouth, lit it with a lighter, all the while not taking his eyes off her. Gazing at her coldly. They were uncomfortably close, only inches apart. Her breath caught as she smelt the faint hint of cigarettes and alcohol from his breath. She wanted to take a step back, put some space in between them, but she was rooted to the spot. His eyes narrowed slightly as he studied her. 'What do you think, Sinclair? Is she mute?'
'Nah boss, you're probably just scaring the shit out of her.' That remark snapped El out of her frozen state. 'I'm not scared of you,' she retorted indignantly. Immediately wishing she had just stayed quiet.
She heard the chuckles all around. 'So. She does talk.' The leader sneered in a mock surprised voice, his eyes narrowing at her. He took a long drag from his cigarette, inhaling slowly then exhaling, creating a cloud of smoke between them. El coughed, covering her mouth, having accidently inhaled some of the smoke. He simply watched her, his cold eyes burning a hole in her.
He began tracing his eyes unashamedly down her form, the corners of his mouth turning upwards in another smirk as he did so, his lip curling. El suddenly felt self-conscious, wanting to cross her arms over her body, to hide herself from his leering gaze. But her arms stayed where they were, having lost any feeling.
His eyes suddenly zeroed in on her chest, and El shivered as she saw his pupils dilating as they lingered. El realised too late that part of her bra was exposed, due to Troy ripping her top earlier. She hurriedly covered it up with her hoodie, avoiding eye contact with him. Too afraid to look up, to see the hungry look in his eyes again.
'Been in a cat fight?' The biker with head band remarked sardonically, sounding slightly amused. 'Did one of your rich pom-pom friends accidently break your nail? Your lipstick?' The others chuckled, except for their leader. Looking up warily, El was surprised to see something else in his eyes, as well as lust. His brows furrowed together in a scowl as he stared at where her ripped top, as if it bothered him.
She honestly didn't care. She just wanted to get away from them as soon as possible. So, she blurted out quickly, 'I'm really sorry about your motorcycle. I-I can pay for it even - if you like? And I-I won't come back here again, promise. I d-didn't mean to cause any trouble.'
Laughs echoed from the bikers. 'Oh, excuse me, sir! I didn't mean to disrespect you in any way.' The larger biker jeered, mimicking her in a high, falsetto voice.
He stared at her with an unreadable expression, taking another drag from his cigarette. He smirked with a sort of satisfaction, and El gasped as she suddenly felt his hand grasp her chin firmly, slightly lifting it towards him. She audibly gulped, as he gazed down at her.
'What's a princess like you doing here, anyway? Got bored of all the small-dicked football players? Decided you'd come to Westside, looking for real men?'
'So, what.' She said shakily, mouth moving before she could stop herself. 'You'd consider yourself a real man? I highly doubt that.' She looked up at him daringly. He was still boring his eyes into her own intensely, a dark smirk tugging at his lips. He boldly stepped closer to her, his breath fanning her face. Their eyes were locked like magnets, and El found herself unable to look away from his addictive gaze. 'Oh, believe me. I know I am.'
'Really?' El was practically shaking in her boots. 'That's very presumptuous of you.'
"It's because I'm fucking right.'
'Right. Okay. So you're cocky, as well as a conceited, self-serving asshole.' She heard the sharp intakes of breaths all around her, and she immediately knew that she had stepped out of line with him, something none of them dared to do. It made her feel slightly triumphant.
His smirk faded slightly, but his expression somehow became even colder, if that was even possible. El shivered as she saw the dark depths within his deadly stare. 'What the fuck did you just say to me?'
El felt the fear travel through her veins, but even though logic was screaming at her to shut up, she kept talking. She had a long, fucked up day and she needed to give this asshole a piece of her mind. Just like at the house, where she always has to mask her fear, she maintained a defiant face with him, refusing to back down. She couldn't show him any weakness. It was too late for that now anyway.
'You heard me. I don't need to deal with conceited pricks like you, who think the best way to go through life is to threaten every person they come across. What, does scaring people make you feel powerful?' She gave an emotionless laugh. 'Pathetic.'
He sneered coldly, his grip on her chin tightening. 'You don't know what you're talking about, princess - let alone who you're talking to. I can threaten whoever the fuck I want in this town. So, you'd better get used to it,' he said slowly and calmly, his gaze becoming even more toxic.
'Um, boss?' One of his cronies called out to him. The big one with the toothy grin. He sounded slightly apprehensive. He simply ignored him.
'What bothers me, is that you get up all in my face, threatening me and going on about how miserable us Eastside people in Hawkins, or as you seem to love to call us, prissie townie fuckers - are making you - yet you're the one harassing and threatening teenage girls in the middle of any empty street, like it's no big deal. And you think we're the jerks?'
His eyes darkened dangerously as he snarled, 'Do you have any idea who the fuck I am?'
'No.' El tried not to get lost in those dark eyes, even though she felt highly intimidated by him. 'And I do not give an honest crap about who you are.'
'You sure about that?' His voice was lower now. The air thickened with the tension between them.
'Boss.'
'Positive.'
'Boss!'
'What!' He snarled, whirling around. His hand left his firm grip on her face, and she immediately found herself missing his touch. She shook her head, bewildered.
'Cops are here.' It was the fourth biker talking, whom El hadn't really noticed, up until now. He looked smaller than the others, and unlike them, his stance was more serious and solemn, rather than threatening. He was posture was stiff, his boyish face rigid with alarm. El saw the approaching cop car, the lights flashing.
'Fuck!'
'Come on, boss, let's get outta here.'
'Just a sec.' He turned towards her again, his expression unreadable. El swallowed as she maintained intense eye contact with him, unable to look away. He raised her chin, more gently now than before, and she caught her breath. He leaned closer, and El found herself frozen to the spot.
He stopped when he was a breath away from her. He smirked at her, still maintaining his cold façade, in a way that both sent alarm bells ringing in her head, and made her hear beat faster, a warmth spreading throughout her body. 'I'll see you around, princess,' he promised in a dark murmur, his eyes searing through her. She gaped at him, shocked at his surety that their paths would cross again. Every instinct in her was telling her to stay away from him. But she couldn't help but feel a magnetic pull to him, her nerves on fire when he touched her.
But El was snapped back to reality, when out of the corner of her eye she saw the cop cars pull up. Whatever he wanted from her, this dark and dangerous man, she couldn't let him have it. He was bad news, pure and simple. Very, bad news.
'I don't think so,' she told him quietly, but firmly, and moved out of his reach. He smirked after her as she slowly backed away as his friends reluctantly let her through, his alluring stare penetrating her own. He eyed her dangerously. 'We'll see about that.'
The two cop cars pulled up. El turned around and immediately stiffened when she saw the occupant in the bigger car. A mixture of relief, anxiety and fear ran through her, her head spinning.
El's dad got out of the truck, immediately stopping in his tracks when he saw her. His expression changed from surprise to concern to confusion, to something unreadable. The tension was palpable. El held her breath nervously as they stood there, waiting for the other to talk first. After what seemed like forever, he motioned towards his truck. 'Get in.' El didn't to be asked twice, darting away from the group of bikers and getting into the passenger seat of the truck.
El watched as her dad approached the group, in an intimidating manner. It was only then that El noticed that all their leather jackets were embossed on the back with a red symbol. It looked like many headed snake-like creature. Flames licked from their mouths and formed a circle around them.
He stepped forward with a cold, hard expression and stared her father down as he came closer. Whoever he was, El knew that he had some kind of authority here in the Westside. El had never seen anyone stand their ground in front of her dad, the police chief. He was looking at her father as if he was dirt under his shoe, his mouth in a tight sneer.
She didn't want to watch the exchange any more than going back to the house, too afraid of what she might see, and instead closed her eyes, breathing in and out and trying to slow her heart rate. El was surprised when her father got into the car after only five minutes. She opened her eyes and saw that he was just standing by the open door leaning in. He was silent for a minute or so.
'So, Jane,' he finally spoke in a gruff tone. He didn't sound happy. 'Are you going to tell me why I found you in the rain, after eight o' clock at night, when you should have been at home doing your chores, in Westside of all places - and in the company of them?' He jutted his head towards the bikers who were still hanging around, standing about thirty yards away. Silently watching them. El opened her mouth to ask what he meant by his sharp 'them', as if saying their names evoked fear in him. But she thought better of it.
'I- I was helping out with the stage for the school play, and it got pretty late I guess.' El said quietly, biting her lip as she desperately tried to think of an excuse as to why she didn't go back to the house afterwards. Jim looked over at her eyebrows raised, waiting for her to continue. 'And?'
'And- ', El contemplated whether she should tell him. But she quickly and reluctantly dismissed the idea, even though it was painful for her. He probably wouldn't believe her. No one would. Those boys were the pride and joy of the school. Any kind of allegation against them would be ignored. Unfortunately, this had happened before. Several times in fact. A couple of years ago, a sophomore girl had come forward with allegations of sexual assault against the football team. As far as El knows, they were never charged. The girl eventually left Hawkins and transferred to another school, after receiving threats and blackmail notes. That, funnily enough, was also never investigated. The school covered it up instead of dealing with it. Hush money from the players rich and well-to-do families probably didn't hurt either. That was the kind of shitty school system they had. Power and money ruled there. It was all fucking corruption at this fancy ass school.
And as for her dad? He might be the police chief, but El knew better than anyone that he would dismiss it as fiction, despite her being his daughter. Diane had made sure that he couldn't believe anything she said. And he always listened to Diane over her. Besides, just thinking about the encounter with Troy, made her feel dirty and ashamed. She knew what people said – that the victim was never to blame. But El was distraught, enough so that just thinking about talking to someone about it, was impossible. She took a deep breath. 'And I decided to go for a little walk, and I got lost.'
'You got lost.' El heard the doubt in her father's voice.
'Yeah. It was dark and the rain made it hard to see. It-it was raining pretty h- '
'Okay, okay, I get you kid.' He waved his hand dismissively, cutting her off. 'What I'm really wondering, is how the hell you ended up meeting those – those thugs. Pure chance, was it? I don't think so. What did they do to you? Did they hurt you?' She was surprised to hear the agitation in her father's voice. Like he was worried about her. She felt a surge of happiness. He did care.
'They did, didn't they. My colleagues and I are doing what we can to arrest those scum, but they have too much protection from outside forces. But now, we can finally charge them of something where have actual proof. You just have to tell me what they did to you, kid. More specifically what did he do to you. I saw him touching you. One bad word against them - especially him - and they're going to jail. It would be the first time a hydra got arrested in God knowshow long.'
She felt her mood plummet when he said those words, and it felt like a knife had been lodged in her chest. She stared straight ahead of her as he rambled on about the potentially great achievement of finally catching at least one of the gang members. Over a charge of alleged assault or harassment. El knew that if she told her dad that they hurt her, they would be arrested, without any real proof that they were guilty, whereas Troy's attempted assault would be covered up, and she would be labelled a liar and a slut. It was all because of class difference. The rich people hid behind their money and wealth like cowards, while the poorer people were blamed for everything, simply because they were on the wrong side of the tracks. El had never felt more disgusted in her life.
So, she simply said, 'No actually, I was – was just asking them for directions.'
He stared at her in disbelief. 'You asked them for directions.' She took a deep breath and nodded. Lying was a serious offence in their house. Diane always though she was lying, always making up excuses so she could find a reason to-
Well. Enough about that.
'Are you sure Jane?' Her dad looked at her, doubt written all over his face. She confirmed to him that she was telling him the truth. Her dad looked furious, discomfort and annoyance clearly showing in his stance. He gruffly told her to wait there. El watched him go back over to the bikers. He caught her eye and he smirked, as if he knew what she said to him. She quickly looked away.
After what looked like a stiff, brief exchange, along with what looked like a few threats, her dad got back in the car. El looked over at the bikers, and watched as they each got on their motorcycles and drove away. She watched as one of them stopped half way up the street, and remained there, surveilling them. Her dad didn't seem to notice. El shivered as she stared at his dark helmet facing towards the car. She knew who it was.
'Sorry, Dad.' She said not taking her eyes off the distant figure. She wasn't sure what she was apologising for, but she knew that was probably what he wanted to hear.
Her dad scoffed. 'Didn't I tell you and your sister to avoid the Westside at all costs. I did it for a reason kid. Those hydras are dangerous! I was trying to protect you from them, not to mention the entire town!'
She frowned at the word hydra. That was what he, had used to describe himself and his goons. In a plural sense, like it was for more than one person. Like a gang.
'Who are they? Are they a gang? The hydras?' She questioned her father.
He sighed deeply, rubbing his forehead and scowling. 'Yeah. Yeah, they are. They're the worst kind out there, kid.' He flexed his fingers on the steering wheel. 'They call themselves, the 'Shadow Hydras'. They run the Westside. Everything here belongs to them, it's their own territory. Christ, I mean, their territory goes beyond Hawkins. They run all kinds of illegal underground trades, with drugs, weapons, you name it! They even controlled some members of the police force before I joined. These days, we've been trying to get things under control. It was so much worse a few decades ago, it was full on corruption.'
'But it's still dangerous as hell kid. They have an unbelievable amount of power, they're in correspondence with other mobsters and gangs from all over the country. All over the world even!'
'Who is he?' El blurted out. He was still there, spying on them. What the hell does he want? Why doesn't he just go?, she thought to herself anxiously.'That tall guy with the black hair. Who is he?'
He grimaced and avoided eye contact with her as he reluctantly spoke. 'He's the worst one of all.' He hesitated before continuing. 'They call him 'Hell Raiser Mike'. He's one of the ringleaders of the Shadow Hydras. He's the most dangerous gang member around. We've been trying to catch him for years, but so far we've gotten nowhere. He's a criminal, Jane. The things he did-'. He cut off, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He suddenly seemed a lot older than he actually was.
El was frozen, her stomach locked up tight as she listened, her insides squeezing together as she struggled to absorb what he was telling her. She suddenly felt nauseous. He's one of the leaders, El. One of the FUCKING LEADERS! What the hell did you get yourself into!
He turned to her, and spoke, snapping her out of her trance. 'I don't need to go into any more detail kid. Point is, they're dangerous as hell. So, from now on you stay away from Westside, understand!'
El had never been in a position with her dad, where he had shown any concern for her. Those moments were rare and it surprised her. Relief flowed through her, and she knew then, that that even though most of the time he didn't show it, and that he would always choose work responsibilities, Diane and Sara over her, deep inside some part of him did care about her. So, she nodded. 'I promise.'
He shook his head. 'Your step-mother won't be happy with you.' El's heart leapt in her throat. 'Don't tell her Dad. Please. Please I'm begging you. I swear it won't happen again, just don't tell her.' He hesitated, seeing the desperation in her expression. Sighing and shaking his head, he said quietly, 'She has to know, kid.' El sat back stiffly. She clenched her fists so tightly she felt them cut into her skin, as her father started the car.
As they drove off, El watched in the rear-view mirror, as he stood in the middle of the road straddling his motorcycle, observing them. Not moving. She wasn't sure how to feel about it. They turned a corner and he disappeared from view.