Chapter 1

She heard whispers.
In the far distance.
She heard him but didn`t understand one word.
She tried, really.
But she simply couldn`t understand any of his hushed words.

He sounds so close.
But is he really there?
Or do I just picture him right here…because…I want him here?

"Agent May…?"

It`s him!
He`s here!

Suddenly she became aware of some digital beeps quickening, but didn`t know where they were coming from.

"Melinda…?"

Now she heard him - loud and clear.
It was really him, calling her.

The same moment she recognized his voice, she was feeling these familiar twitches in her stomach.

When she suddenly felt a warm, soft touch on her chin, as well, her heart almost skipped a beat.

"Melinda…?"

And the familiar twitches didn`t come to a rest when she heard him quietly calling her name.

On the contrary, now those contractions unexpectedly came along with a vengeance, they seemed to rumble through her, evoking a powerful desire to say his name, too.

Now she knew she was safe.
Felt content.
He was with her.

She wanted to open her eyes, but she couldn`t.
She was tired.
So tired.
She slowly drifted away again.

"Agent May…!"

Coming slowly, only very slowly out of her state of unconsciousness, her eyelids quivered.

"She`s about to wake up…! Agent May…!"

Oh no, it`s not him!

She didn`t want to wake up only to look into someone else`s eyes and not into his beautiful ones of pure kindness.
She needed him.
If she absolutely had to wake up, she totally needed to lay eyes on him.
Without him, she`d rather never wake up again.

Melinda May couldn`t be more surprised over her own innermost thoughts than in just that moment.

Seriously now…?
Did I just…?
Do I really feel that way…, like I…, I…, oh holy crap!

Yes, she really meant it like that.

Now that she was finally able to think more clearly, Melinda May listened to her surroundings.

She heard people whispering, the sharp shuffling of papers.
She found herself placed in a bed and seemed to have been put on a lot of life-support lines, leading to machines monitoring her.
And she heard the piercing beeps of those devices.

Crap!
Now I have to open my eyes.
Okay, let`s get it over with!
Let`s face reality!

She tentatively opened her eyes, only to shut them again a split second later.
She grunted in pain.

"Agent May…?"

Jemma Simmons softly touched her on her shoulder, surprised, the question evident in her voice.

"It`s…okay…, just too bright lights…," Melinda managed to croak hoarsely.

Using her voice to articulate herself was uncomfortable, her mouth too dry to sound as clear as she intended.

As if the younger agent had read her mind, she pushed a straw between May`s lips.

"You need to drink something, Agent May!"

She knew the girl was right, but she didn`t like taking commands.
She liked giving them instead of having to follow them but, begrudgingly, she complied to the other agent`s order.

After the water had done its job, and Melinda felt an ease, she tried to swallow.

It really worked better than before, so she swallowed some more water.
She coughed a bit.
But she was feeling better by the minute.

Then she tried to open her eyes again, this time she managed to let them open long enough to focus on Jemma Simmons.

"Thanks…"

"No need to thank me, Agent May. You had to wake up and you had to get some water in you. You were dehydrated for far too long. And you still need to rest…"

The young agent with the British accent subtly pushed her back into the cushions, as Melinda made an attempt to get up.

"That`s an order…, Agent May…!"

For Melinda it sounded like Simmons enjoyed to order her around but she gave in on free will.
The struggle to get up had weakened her again so she sank back into the cushions with a slight groan.
She certainly didn`t need that push of Jemma.

"Understood…, Agent Simmons…"

She then closed her eyes but didn`t want to fall asleep again even though she was suddenly tired, very tired.

"You…sedated me…!"

"No…, I did not, Agent May…! It`s just your body is still too weak to follow your brains` orders, so…just rest, Agent May…! You need to regenerate…, you just survived a terribly painful attack. You went through an extremely traumatic event…but you were saved just in time. If he had not carried you out of there, you would certainly be dead by now. So, please, lie still and listen to me. I am not used to give orders…, Agent May…, but I will if I have to, did I make myself clear…?"

"Yes…, yes, you did indeed…, Agent Simmons. I admit defeat."

"Really…? That would be a first…," the amusement in his voice was so tangible.

To this, Melinda instantly whirled her head around to look at him.

Oh my god, that voice!
And yes, it`s him, after all!
I didn`t hallucinate!

She almost couldn`t believe how much she was in fact attracted to him, as she heard and recognized his voice. Looking into his eyes, just as open and kind as she remembered, made her smile at him.

"Good to see you…, Melinda…" He smiled back at her.

The moment she saw this genuine smile, she felt this strange pull in her stomach once again.

Unprocessed emotions were rising up, about to leave her in tears.

"Good to see you, too, Phil…"

He moved and sat down at her side.
Jemma Simmons was nowhere to be seen anymore.

"Melinda…?"

She noticed the hurt in his voice but he didn`t continue.

Oh geez, normally this man does use more words than that!
Now why the hell did he stop talking just this once?

"You…, you got me out of there…?"

"Yes…"

"Thanks..."

"I would do anything…to save you…, you know that…, if only I could`ve protected you better…"

Once again he went silent, didn`t say anything more.

For heaven`s sake, usually he talks like a waterfall!
What`s up with him?

She could take a non-stop talking Coulson, even if she was a woman of not so much words.
And yet, she liked listening to his sudden upcoming bubbles of laughter and his talkative moments.

Scratch that, she couldn`t just manage a non-stop talking Phil Coulson, she was more like kind of fond of hearing him talk.

His deep, rasping voice was at the same time comforting, welcoming and…, yes…, sexy.

So, for once, she eventually might be the one having to do the talk.

"I thought I`d never see you again…"

"You were tortured…"

Great!
Now that he`s finally talking he must do it at the same time as me!

His voice was about to break, overwhelmed with emotions.
Realizing he was about to choke up, made her answer him promptly.

"I know…, and it was…horrible…! Only one thought kept me alive…"

"Don`t…!" He uneasily interrupted her, kind of afraid of what she was about to reveal.

"What…? I just wanted to say that I knew for a reason that I had to hold on…, I knew you`d come to look for me."

"No wishes of retaliation to whoever did this to you…?"

Surprised that she shook her head, he touched her hand, tentatively, while looking straight into her eyes, ever so softly stroking over her skin.

There! She felt those tweaks in her stomach again.

This time she felt them almost exploding inside her, with an unfamiliar but truly overwhelming emotion to give in, an alluring magnetism she didn`t understand.

And right after wondering about it, she kind of felt her skin burning right where he`d touched her.
It was like he was setting her on fire.

"No…, while…while they had me…, in there…I made a decision, Coulson. I quit, so please inform…"

"Wait…, what…?"

"I quit…, Coulson. I`m fed up with all this. I want my peace of mind. I want to finally find some serenity in my life…, I can`t go on like this anymore. I`m afraid I might eventually break in the end. And to avoid that, I need to stop fighting for my life…"

"I know you can only take so much and you`re tired of fighting…, but quitting…, that`s not an option…, Melinda…"

"Coulson, I…I can`t…argue with you right now, I`m still so tired…"

He realized how hard it was for her to stay awake and respond to him. She usually didn`t talk that much and it must have exhausted her more than she`d led on.

Within seconds she was out again.

The beeps on the monitors were quite even and normal, so there was no reason to panic. He knew she needed some rest, needed a peaceful sleep more than anything else right now.

He`d be here, he wouldn`t go anywhere as long as she wasn`t okay again.

Why would she wanna leave S.H.I.E.L.D.? Why would she wanna leave the team? Him?
Until now, being a top S.H.I.E.L.D. agent was the number one priority in her life.
It was both their choices, being partners in fighting Hydra together.
Why would she want to leave that behind her?

He knew she`d been through much worse, so why quitting now?

These questions were torturing him, keeping him from finding some sleep himself.
So he just sat by her side, waiting for her to wake up again.

Melinda May had the strangest dream, and was still aware of it as she slowly woke up again.

She looked down to where Phil Coulson rested his head on her bed, against her thigh, still holding her hand. He evenly breathed, so it looked like he slept peacefully.

Melinda let him sleep, decided to let him hold her hand.
She wanted to feel him, too.
She recognized her own need to feel connected to him at least as much as he seemed to need the contact, too.

I`m home!

That was the last thing she thought before drifting off to sleep again.

To be continued…

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Hope you guys like my first venture into the world of Agents of SHIELD.
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Thanks for reading.