This story is a little different than what I've done before. Instead being a continuous flow it's more like in episode form. So it will be like a collection of real and made up Supernatural episodes. If that makes sense, you'll get it once you read on. Slash warning because there will be Wincest later on in "episodes". Also warning for mature content as there will be torture/rape.
101 Pilot: ever wondered what happened right after Dean pulled Sam from the fire at Sam and Jessica's apartment?
Authors note: I was listening to 'The art of Detaching one's heart' by Phum Viphurit while righting this. If you want to get in that frame of mind.
"No! No!" Sam kept screaming. He desperately tried to wake himself from the nightmare, he was sure he was having. He didn't move because he knew it had to be a dream. Jessica was pinned to the ceiling engulfed in flames that seemed to be alive. He heard sounds that were demonic and continued screaming. "No! Jess, Jess."
Dean kicked down the door and ran to where the screams were coming from. "Sammy." He said when he reached the bedroom. He saw Jessica burning and that Sam wasn't trying to move. "Sam, we gotta go." The flames were getting bigger. Dean grabbed Sam by the shirt and spun him around so he was effectively forcing him out the door.
Sam continued to scream "Jess!" Dean held onto Sam so he wouldn't run back in the apartment. He had a firm hold on his arm.
Sam stared at the flames growing higher and higher. He closed his eyes for a brief moment and when he opened them they were swimming with tears. Dean saw all of this, and his heart broke for his little brother. Dean began having flashes of the first time he carried Sam out of a burning building, when their mother had died in Sam's nursery. "Take your brother outside as fast as you can." He heard this echoing in his mind.
Dean reached for Sam hand, and spun him around again so he was facing the street where the impala was parked. "Don't look over there Sammy."
Sam's eyes where glistening but he didn't cry. He also wouldn't look at Dean. He sniffled and cleared his throat. "Why? I should see this. It's my fault. Dad warned me that you can't just walk away from this life."
Dean grabbed Sam by both his shoulders forcing him to look at him. "You listen to me Sam. This is not your fault. That thing is evil and trying to hurt you. I mean Jess..." he searched for the words. "The way that mom." He paused. "This is exactly what it wants."
Sam searched Dean's face. Sam's own pain was reflected in Dean's eyes. He clenched his fists and bit down. He refused to cry. No matter what Dean said he knew it was his fault. Dean didn't know about the dreams. He should've warned Jess. He should've gotten her out of town. He should've taken her as far as they could get. He should've protected her.
Dean was taking but his words were falling on deaf ears. It was clear Sam was very much in shock. "Sam!" He yelled to jolt him out of his thoughts. "We should go."
Sam heard the approach of the fire trucks. Someone must have called them. "I can't, they're gonna want a statement." Sam said coming back to his thoughts. He sniffed again still unable to let the emotions hit him.
Dean nodded, and sat in the impala waiting for Sam to finish his statement with the police. They let Sam leave shortly after Dean had got in. Sam got in the impala and put on his seatbelt. "Let's go." He said simply.
Dean took Sam to the hotel room he had rented for the night, before the fire. He lead Sam into room 5. Dean directed him to sit on top of the bed. Sam just stared blankly and said nothing. Dean went back to the impala and got his clothes. Dean went into the restroom. He changed into a clean T-shirt and boxers, his nightly attire.
He handed Sam a T-shirt and boxers. "Wear this tonight and we'll go get you some clothes tomorrow." All Sam's stuff has burned in the fire. "You should change Sam." They both smelled like a fire pit. "You can have the bed." Dean wasn't looking forward to sleeping in the tiny chair in the corner, but Sam needed his rest tonight. Dean had checked into a single room thinking it would just be him tonight. He would rectify this tomorrow, and get a room with two beds.
Sam got up and went to the bathroom to change. He emerged showered and changed. "The smell wasn't just on my clothes." He said his pain starting to cripple him. He sat back on the bed.
Sam said nothing. His mouth was in a thin line. He continued to stare blankly at the wall. Dean sat on the bed next to him and told him to look at him. Sam took three steadying breaths before he met his brothers eyes. "Don't you dare blame yourself." Sam gasped for air and clenched his fists tighter. Dean recognized this behavior. Sam did this when he was desperately trying to stop himself from crying.
Dean put his hand over Sam's. Sam flinched and looked down at their hands. "Hey look at me." Dean whispered. Trying to soothe Sam he squeezed his hand. Sam met his gaze again. "It's okay." Dean said barely a whisper. "Maybe you'd feel better if you just go ahead and cry" Dean said so, so softly.
Sam laughed sarcastically his voice thick with emotion. "I don't deserve to feel any better Dean." Sam said a tear finally slipping past his eyes. He wiped it angrily. And tried to stop the flow of tears. But they started falling in-spite of his best efforts to stop them.
"It's okay Sammy." Dean whispered. Dean slowly pulled Sam into his arms. Sam only resisted a little. He didn't want to let go of his control. Dean held onto him. Sam finally gave in and rested his head on Dean's shoulder as the sobs finally started wracking his body. Sam wrapped both his arms around Dean. Sam's tears were flowing freely now. Dean held him as best he could, while he shook and cried. "It's okay, I'm here." Dean said softly trying to soothe him.
Sam cried to the point of exhaustion. Dean stopped trying to talk to him because it only made the cries worse. Dean just lightly hummed and held him until he passed out form exhaustion. After Sam was asleep Dean slowly lowered him onto the bed. Dean tucked Sam into bed.
Dean remembered this exact exchange the night their mother died. He held Sammy as he cried himself to exhaustion and then tucked him in that night too, Although Sam was just a baby then. Dean went back to the restroom and showered and changed again. Sam was right the smell still cling to him. He went back to the bed and checked on Sam, who was still asleep.
Dean moved the awful chair right next to the bed, so he would hear Sam if he needed him. Then he sat in the chair and pulled the extra blanket around himself. He watched over Sammy for awhile before he fell asleep.