We are made of…
Jasper, arms crossed, glared at the ocean before her. The uproar of cheers behind her had died, and the sun had finally set on this horrid day.
Homeworld's ships hovered in Earth's orbit, twinkling, hovering, abandoned for now. They were outshone by the stars, the kind you could only see on a dark night, far from the city.
Her keen sense had not been deadened from Corruption, nor the time she spent bubbled in the Burning Room. She could hear every footfall behind her, the shuffle of clothing against flesh, and the crunch of sand beneath the bare toes of the human who had saved her.
The crackle of the fire, too…
"Hey."
She sighed. Steven smiled to her, then averted his gaze to the ocean.
"Everything okay?" He asked her.
Jasper was taken aback at the question. She stuttered, reaching for the words, slowly growing outraged.
"I… No? Clearly not, Ros-"
She cut herself off, and took a deep breath.
"No. It's not."
"Wanna talk about it?"
"Not in the slightest."
"I understand… Mind if I talk and you listen?"
"You can talk, runt. Doesn't mean I'll do anything to tune in."
"Okay, well… I'm not going to pretend to know you, l-like Pearl and Garnet did, okay? I'm admitting that I don't know anything about you, Jasper…"
She grunted, and fell flat on the beach, back against the sand, hair splayed wild.
Steven mimicked her movements.
"…Y-You're not alone. I don't know what you fully felt for… Her, but I know that you cared for her, at least-"
"I didn't just care for Pink Diamond... I loved Pink Diamond… My Diamond…" Jasper whispered, throwing her fists into the sand.
Steven remained quiet for a little while, kicking his sandals off his feet, and nodding.
"I… I thought I had failed to protect her. Such was the role of a Jasper, or an Amethyst – to guard one's Diamond until you'd been shattered to your last piece…"
"And finding out… What we know now, that couldn't have helped…" Steven added, softly.
"YOU THINK!?"
She looked back, craning her neck at the crowd who stared at them. She growled, and returned her gaze skywards. Steven rested his head in his hands, lying sideways, gazing at her.
Jasper grew agitated quickly, and darted a deadly gaze to the hybrid.
"Stop that, runt."
"Stop what?"
Jasper pinched the bridge of her nose, and sighed again, her edge settling.
She looked to him – how long had it been since she'd been freed? Steven was no longer the plump ball of love and energy that endeared Beach City to the Crystal Gems – he, along with his human friend Connie, had grown.
Another set of footfalls followed behind Jasper's head, and she gazed into the eyes of the other human, who smiled to her.
"Hiya Jasper."
"Ugh." The Gem replied, allowing Connie to lie down next to her.
The words struggled to come to Jasper's head to describe them both – where once Steven was a ball, now he was a… Box? Rectangle? The soldier idly crushed some sand between her fingers and watched some seagulls soar carelessly through the twilight winds, trying to find the way to describe the humans around her.
They had drive, to say the least. Once a Gem had been shattered, that was it for them – but when a human got "shattered", they kept going. If they had a goal, they would not stop until it was achieved.
There was something there to admire. To respect, even...
She missed what the two were saying while she lied between them – probably a joke or reference she didn't get…
Never before had a race defied Gem culture in such fashion – never before had a race met the love and compassion of Pink Diamond.
Her Diamond…
Jasper's eyes wandered to Steven's bulky chest, and the Gem that sat in place of a regular human navel. The pentagonal, rosy beauty of a quartz – a façade, crafted into an actual identity.
Given real form.
She thought a while, Jasper did. She thought on the things that made her feel sad, like the loss of Pink Diamond. She thought on the things that made her feel alone, like being stranded on Earth, having to fight against her own forces. She thought about the things that made her angry, the things that gave her strength to fight.
And she couldn't find any today. She felt betrayed by Pink Diamond, but she didn't feel anger towards her. She felt irritated and upset that she had been cured by her enemies, but she couldn't hold anger against them for doing what they did.
"Jasper, try to tell us what you're feeling. We can help you," Connie whispered, keeping her voice just louder than the crashing tides.
Jasper's gut reaction was to refuse such a request. But she bit back, and growled deep in her throat.
"My feelings don't- I don't care if…" Jasper shut her eyes tight, then opened them, glaring at Steven. With stars in his eyes, he now laid on his stomach, staring directly at the big beauty of a Gem.
"WHY IS THIS SO HARD!? YOU HUMANS HAVE IT SO EASY, YOU KNOW! I… I feel awful! I feel awful that Pink Diamond would LIE to her own forces! That she would stage a war, letting COUNTLESS Gems be shattered because she thought THIS ROCK deserved LIFE!" She roared, throwing her fists into the ground in rage, cursing towards the sky.
Steven and Connie nodded, then smiled to the other.
"I know how that feels, Jasper. She was my mother, she gave her form up for mine, and she left me with that, with the responsibility of a war for Earth. Rose… Pink… My mom, she did bad things. She wasn't a perfect person – and here on Earth, that's a good thing!" Steven assured her, using his gentlest tone possible. Jasper's breathing died down, and she growled again, fiercely rubbing her eyes.
"It was Pink's flaws that saved this place. It was Pink's flaws that led me to Steven – my jam bud! It was Pink's flaws that allowed life to continue here, Jasper!"
"Pink's flaws…" Jasper repeated, tasting the heretical words on her palate. She shivered, and kept her eyes on the nature above her, birds still soaring in various formations, fireflies resting on the air, and the fish, bristling in the seas…
"Tell us… Is there anything here on Earth that you like? Are there any redeeming qualities about this place to you?" Steven asked her, his voice soft and sweet.
Jasper looked to Connie, then to Steven. She grabbed another handful of sand, and rubbed it between her fingers, savouring the coarse sensation of the fine particles, grinding against her Gem's projected skin.
She looked back to them both, lingering on their bodies for longer than she'd cared to admit, and then back at the crowd at the bonfire behind them.
To Lapis, to Peridot, and to her fellow guards, from Earth.
Jasper thought of her birthplace, the Beta Kindergarten, and the brief moment of wonder she had, right before stepped out of her hole. The red cliffs, the blue sky, and the first breath her body took…
'I am a fool,' She thought to herself, rubbing her eyes again. If Earth was wiped out, she wouldn't be having this moment. She wouldn't have had the chance to walk with nature, or to feel the sand in her fingers, or the water, tickling her toes…
"Well…"