What does any of that have to do with anything? Nothing really, just the fact that a 15 year old girl named Odelie snuck on a ship sailing to America. ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT!
But what she doesn't know is that it's a pirate ship she's on...a pirate ship called the Black Pearl.
"Man, what fucking idiots these sailors are," thought Odelie who was in some part of the ship...that the pirates were not...yeah..."How can they not know a little 15 year old girl from Sri Lanka snuck on their ship sailing to America? I just want free land that's all! Damn, why couldn't I have just been a white kid?" Odelie's thoughts were interrupted by the ship a going a bump-itty-bump-bump. She realized the peeps on board were shooting cannons...and yelling, and screaming, and she heard people's lives be taken away by the swish of the sword...She could hear their blood pouring out of their throats as pirates flicked their swords upon the innocent people.
"Hmm, I wonder what those weird noises could be," Odelie said aloud. What a stupid kid.
She went above and onto the deck of the ship and saw that they landed...and were invading a land...killing...watching the blood flow...the peeps were laughing, running, screaming, playing pick-up-sticks in the streets. It was sickening.
"Yes! I'm finally in America!" yelled Odelie..."I think..." Odelie looked around not knowing where she was. "Well were ever I am, I'm outta Sri Lanka that's for sure." And she set off in this new place, looking for a place to stay. She stepped over dead bodies of all shapes and sizes. "Well, with fewer people living here I'm bound to find some where to live." Yep, that's Odelie trying to think of the bright side apon some one's death.
ANYWAY.
Odelie ran into a living girl, same age as her. She was a white loser...I mean, a white...er child.
"Hey! Your alive!" shouted that white girl.
"Erm...Yes...why yes I am," shouted back Odelie even thought they were standing face to face.
"Well, everyone else seems to be dying...so yeah, it's nice to see a living face...oh, my name's Molly by the way." Molly outstretched her hand to shake Odelie's.
"Odelie," Odelie said shaking Molly's hand back.
"Every body's just dying right left and center, sheesh, I couldn't even make it to the bathroom over there without being in danger of death...AND I REALLY GOTTA GO!" Molly shouted jumping up and down.
"Well...that girl over there seems to be alive," Odelie pointed to an older woman being carried off by pirates, and they watched over to the right as a older man got knocked out by a pirate. Mmm, he didn't die as all the millions of other freakos did? Unfair.
"Yes...so it seems. Hey instead of being stuck in dead's ville, what do you say we sneak onto that boat over there and go sailing around the world with them! Anything's better than staying here..." sighed Molly. Odelie's mouth hung wide open, and looked now frustrated.
"I'll take that as a yes!" yelled Molly. She grabbed Odelie and snuck them both on the ship, which Molly realized was a Pirate ship.
"I can't believe I'm back on this damn ship...AGAIN!" thought Odelie to herself.
"Were on a pirate ship," whispered Molly.
"Great now were dead!"
"Yep."
DUN DUN DUN!
Back on "Dead's Ville" William Turner, the guy who got knocked the fuck out, is back up again. He was mindlessly singing to himself. "If I fall back down, your gonna help me back up again. If I fall back down, your gonna be my friend...OUH!" He was now prancing and jumping and singing all around the dead bodies having a gay old time. Then he remembered that Elizabeth Swann was just captured...so he realized what he had to do.
He went to visit CAPTIAN Jack Sparrow, who was currently rotting it out in the ye old jail cell.
"I see your in a sticky situation, ol Jacky boy," said Will who was now walking up to jack and his little ol' cell.
"Actually, it's quite dry in here...and the stupid person writing this story can't remember any of the lines we say in this scene so, let's cut the shit and go straight to stealing that ship, kay?"
"Coo-coo, homie," Will said, crossing his arms with his one leg pinned against the wall.
"What are we a bird now, mate?" So off they went...to a slow boat, they take it yadda-yadda-yadda the peeps on the fast boat follow them, and they all switch. So in the end, Will and Jack got the fast boat. Lovely, isn't it?
Back on the Black Pearl.
"Molly, I'm to young to die," Odelie whispered harshly.
"Yeah, what do I look like, forty! I'm young too!" yelled Molly.
"Keep your voice down, stupid!" They suddenly heard foot steps coming down to where they were, and various of voices.
"Ugh, stupid girl went and ate with the captain, she should have been eatin' down here with us!"
"Yeah...um...yeah!" yelled another voice, chasing something on the ground which turned out to be his eye...
Molly glanced at Odelie and Odelie whispered to her, "Well this is a bit of a sticky situation." But then all of a sudden they heard screaming above and all the pirates that were in the same room with Molly and Odelie ran back up to the deck.
"Why would the girl scream?" asked Molly. "I know their pirates and all-"
"And their disgusting!"
"Um..yeah, their disgusting, but she was already kidnapped by them! So she's a bit late with the screaming, don't you think?" Molly looked puzzled, but Odelie looked like she could care less.
"I say," continued Molly. "That we go check it out."
"ARE YOU CRAZY!" Molly clamped her hand around Odelie's mouth. "Shhh! Are you crazy! Sheesh! If you don't go with me, I guess I'm going alone." Molly ran over to the stairs quietly and started to ascend. Odelie really didn't want to be left alone, and if Molly was caught she'd probable rat on her...so. "Wait for me!" Odelie called. And they walked up together.
Of course you know what they saw, they saw skeleton people working, and holding down Elizabeth.
"Well that's kind-of...shocking," said Molly lightly.
"I-I-I-"
"Running down the hill, I I I'm running down the hill!"
"Molly...what the hell are you singing?" snapped Odelie.
"Um...it's a song on the TV station "The Noggin" and um...it's what my 15 month old brother watched okay! Jeez, the songs just get stuck in my head! Plus, you were the one saying 'I I I'! Damn"
Molly and Odelie were arguing, and obviously caught all the pirates attention. The Caption Barbosa walked over to them.
"Well, what do we have here?"
"You have two blind little girls that's what you have," shuddered Odelie. "And we thought we were getting on...that white folk boat! Yeah, are you young fellows native? I wouldn't know...seeing how I'm BLIND" Odelie hinted on the 'blind' hoping they'd feel sorry for them.
"Oh really now, you two are blind?" asked the captain, with the monkey on his shoulder laughing.
"Yes we are...oh and tell your monkey to shut the hell up!" Odelie yelled. Molly smacked her head and sighed, "God damn it she's so stupid!"
"Eh, lock them in that place we lock people in!" he shouted. "And continue working! Soon in time, we shall finally be free of this curse...FOREVER!"
This fat little porky guy, and the dude who keeps losing his eye took Molly and Odelie to their 'jail', which is where they were keeping Elizabeth too. Fatso and one-eye-dork laughed on their way out.
"Ewww!" yelled Odelie, immediately standing up. "This place is disgusting! There's water everywhere!"
"Well...it is a boat, and apparently there's a leak," sighed Molly.
"What are two kids like you doing on the Black Pearl?" shirked Elizabeth.
"Um, we kinda snuck on...Hi, my name's Molly, and this is Odelie," said Molly pointing to Odelie who was trying carefully not to get wet.
"I'm Elizabeth...and why would you sneak on this boat? Didn't you see it was killing everybody out there!"
"Oh...I didn't realize it was this boat doing it," sighed Molly.
"How stupid can you get?" cried Odelie, staring at Molly.
"You knew! Why didn't you tell me! We could have still been chillin' with the dead bodies! AND I STILL GOT TO PEE!"
"I never wanted to get on this ship! You dragged me on!"
"Oh...well then I'm really sorry."
"Aww, your forgiven!" Molly and Odelie hugged and Elizabeth just looked at them. "Well...okay...that was a bit strange, but whatever."
"So, tell us everything you know about this ship, and those freako's on board," said Molly, who moved to sit in front of Elizabeth.
"Well...um, I told them my name was Elizabeth Turner, even though it's Swann, but shhh, let's keep that a hush-hush," Elizabeth giggled.
"Um...okay...that was..strange," said Odelie.
"Do continue," Molly urged.
"And um, they took this necklace I stole from a William Turner back when he was like 10, which was like...8 years ago, or 10, I dunno. Whatever our age is. And um, it's cursed Aztec gold, and they need all 2039484045698402598341290384034830 pieces and the blood of somebody, which they think is me, to free them from that curse...FOREVER! But that will be later, right now they can't die, so their skeletons in the moon light. Any questions?" she laughed cheerfully.
"Yes, you look pretty rich, will there be any body to come and rescue you?" asked Odelie.
"Why, yes, of course. Young William Turner will try his hardest because he's so deeply in love with me...and well, everybody that's alive will come after me."
"Well...that's good to hear, as long as they save us too," said Molly.
"Yeah," said Odelie. "The sooner we get the fuck off of this crazy ship the better! And your crazy, giving them a fake name! What the boonkers!"
"Um, well I dunno, I thought they were after me, but apparently their after young Willy!...FREE WILLY! hahahahahaha!" Elizabeth was cracking up! Man.
"Are you high? Or are you always like this?" asked Odelie.
"I'm always like this...what is 'high'?"
"Your joking right?" asked Molly.
"Um...yes, joking...I am...joking, that's all."
Back with Jack and Will. They are now getting shipmates! ARGH! Pirate try outs!
"Hello, and welcome to the show 'so you wanna be a pirate?' our first contestant is Lacy Lamb!" shouted Jack Sparrow.
"Wait...I'm trying out to be a pirate?" asked Lacy.
"Um yeah," said Will holding pencil and paper to check off the winners and mark off the losers.
"Oh, I kinda wanted to be a monkey..."
"what the hell?" snapped Will.
"NEXT!" yelled Will.
"Hello, my name is Maryellen! And argh, mate, I wanna be a pirate!" Maryellen looked nervous and she started coughing.
"Oh really now, lass?" asked Jack.
"Um...yes..."
"REALLY?"
"Okay I just wanna go sailing! What of it? I could be a great cook though, so what do you say?"
"I say...SHE'S IN!" yelled Jack. So Will wrote down Maryellen's name under cook.
"Next player!" yelled Will, wanting this to speed up so they can go save Elizabeth now.
"Hi, my name's Trevor, and i could care less about sailing, I hate pirates, and I'm doing nothing with my life."
"Um...anything else?" asked Jack, staring at him like he was a virus.
"Nope."
"Well okay then your hired!" he yelled.
Will looked surprise but none the less, he wrote Trevor down as 'cabin boy'
"Next!"
blah blah. This is how the crew went:
Caption: Jack! Duh.
Chief Mate: Kristy
Chief Cook: Maryellen
Navigator: Sarah
Able Seaman: Carolyn
Deckhand: Chelsea
Cabin Boy: Trevor
Engineer: Daniel
Gunner: Jasmine
STAY TUNED!