Heart's Lonesome (I discuss Masks)
By Kaluna
Everyone has a mask sometimes. I've found that no matter who's in control, we hide who we really are, what we really think. I can only be me (and by that I mean me Crystal, Neko, Candy, Tsurin, and the others can only be one and act each) without worry she around Rimmie And Lauren. It's times like that we "put up" the mask. We all show ourselves, switching back and forth, holding on long conversations just with ourselves. Then, when other people come around, one person claims control, and we all are hidden under the mask once more. I honestly... That's why I took control of Crystal in the first place. I was sick and tired of being alone. Back then Crystal didn't know me so I couldn't take part in those times without the mask. She couldn't talk to me when the mask was on. I got tired of it. I started influencing her thoughts. I wanted to make everyone go through the HELL I went through. If I was alone, no one should be able to be happy when they were together. Even now that I'm "good" I still feel lonely, even sometimes around Rimmie and Kumi. It's hard, but it will always be like that. At least I can go to different worlds and see Ash (Big brother) and see Giovanni (Dad) eve if it is to battle him. Crystal says she often feels lonely the most when around lots of people. I agree. When I'm at the Academy (Watchers Academy) I feel lonely, but I always have Crystal and Neko and sweet little Candy and Shade and everyone else. Now that I've seen what life has to offer (even IF I kinda already died but was given a second chance) I get that even other people like Shade and Crystal, and their future kids, they all wear masks sometimes too. And that's not a bad thing. If someone has a mask, normally they don't want it. They just want someone to show the "true" them to. If I meet anyone who seems to wear a mask, usually, I ask what's wrong. I try to be friends. More often than not, eventually, they lose their masks. And you know what I see inside? I see a wonderful person that was just insecure for no reason. Everyone wears masks from time to time. I do, you do, the person that sits next to you in class does. Try and help someone out. Get them to take off their masks. Who knows what you might find under there?
Crystal's Note I know this isn't really a fan fiction but it is relevant to my other fanfics and helps you see inside the mind of one of my most complicated, psychologically messy inside other selves. AKA Crystalu AKA Kaluna. Crystalu: AKA me.