Just a little songfic I wrote ages ago around S4... Set to "Red Sam" by Flyleaf. Enjoy!
Here I stand
Empty hands
Wishing my wrists were bleeding
To stop the pain from the beatings
There you stood
Holding me
Waiting for me to notice you
Dean Winchester was broken inside. He hated the fact that he was tearing apart these poor souls. He didn't care that they were sinners and had essentially asked for this. To cause pain to people who had done him no harm was utterly against his nature. He dropped his tool on the ground, his throat and eyes burning. His hands balled into tight fists at his side. He half-wished he would be placed back on the rack, but he feared the pain that would inevitably follow. That did not stop him from apologizing to every soul before laying into them, silently wishing he could take away some of their pain, bleed with them. He saw Alistair in front him, angry and vaguely fearful. Dean became aware of a hand on his shoulder and turned.
But who are you?
You are the truth
Outscreaming these lies
You are the truth
Saving my life
The person who was holding him was the most beautiful he'd ever seen, so much so that it was indescribable save for being male and having vivid blue eyes. These were all he could recall later when he 'met' Castiel. He barely listened as the angel explained that Dean was important and had been saved for a reason. He could only look into those eyes and see the truth: that he was loved, special, forgiven.
The warmth of your embrace
Melts my frostbitten spirit
You speak the truth and I hear it
The words are
I love you
And I have to believe in you
Dean sat alone in the motel room he was sharing with Sam because Sam was off doing god-knows-what. Sleep was not coming easily, and when it did, it ended quickly with nightmares of Hell. He lay in bed for hours, staring at the ceiling, until Castiel showed up. Dean shouted at him for several minutes, cursing him for no reason at all. Finally, the angelic being enveloped him in his arms before he could do anything. The human's muscles tensed, and he tried everything to wriggle out of his arms. Castiel was too strong, though. He whispered, "Dean, believe me. You deserve to be saved. Alive. Forgiven. You are loved," in his ear. Dean began to shiver with silent sobs. Castiel murmured, "I love you," and Dean broke because he finally knew the words were true.
But who are you?
You are the truth
Outscreaming these lies
You are the truth
Saving my life
Once more, Dean felt that he'd been presented with something he didn't deserve. However, when he looked into Castiel's perfect blue eyes and simply knew that he was worthy of all he'd been given. No matter what he told himself about how terrible a person he was, he could now see they were lies. He could now see that Castiel had the truth, the most beautiful and perfect truth there was.
My hands are open
And you are filling them
Hands in the air
In the air
In the air
In the air
Dean stood quietly with Sam at the back of the old church. Few people were there, but that was okay. Sam decided to wait outside. Dean merely stood at the back, hands hanging limply at his sides. Suddenly, a warmth filled them: calming, familiar. His eyes fluttered shut. A soothing voice entered his ears. He barely recognized it as Castiel's. He knew the angel was with him. His hands were slowly raised into the air.
And I worship
Dean felt that he was loved, saved, wanted, needed… worthy. He was okay.
And I worship
Dean knew these things, and he was happy.
And I worship
Dean believed these things, and he was joyful.
Outside, he found his holy tax accountant. Sam was nowhere to be found. Dean approached the angel.
"Thanks, Cas."
Dean wrapped his arms around the angel. A face was pressed to his shoulder. Dean held the angel as though his life depended on it.
"Thank you so much."
You are the truth
Outscreaming these lies
You are the truth
Saving My Life
Reviews are like joy and sunshine and hugs =)