A/N

Welp hey everyone!
This is my first fanfic, so I'm not really good at this yet. I'm really not sure how long this is going to turn out though - it might be extremely short, or it might just turn out a bit longer than I expected. By the way, if you haven't finished the anime try not to read this yet, since it contains major spoilers...

Even though this is one of my favourite animes, it's been a while since I've rewatched the whole thing since it makes me so depressed... TT_TT So I've probably forgotten some stuff, if your guys think I've gotten something wrong, don't hesitate to review or pm me. This takes place starting from the letter Kaori write to Kousei in the end - after the letter, everything is just stuff I'm imagining and whatnot. I did not make up the letter. I kinda forgot most of what happened after/as he read the letter, so I'm making it all up from there, and didn't include Kousei's responses from the anime.
Hmm this is a long A/N. I'll end it here then.

Disclaimer: I don't own Your Lie in April, nor any of the characters and all that stuff... Also, the letter is not mine.

Dear Arima Kousei,

It feels weird writing a letter to someone you were just with…

You're the worst.

Indecisive. Gullible. Twit.

The first time I ever saw you perform, I was 5 years old. It was at a recital for the piano school I was going to. This awkward, clumsy kid came onto the stage and accidentally hit the piano stool with his butt. It was too funny. He turned to the piano that was way too big for him and the moment he played that first note, I was drawn in.

The sound was beautiful, like a 24-colour palette. The melodies danced.

The girl next to me started crying. I wasn't expecting that at all.

And even so, you gave up the piano. Even though it totally changed other people's lives. You're the worst. Indecisive. Gullible. Twit.

(Cut to Kaori as a kid, telling her parents she's giving up piano for violin because she wants Kousei to play again.)

When I found out we were in the same middle school, I was ecstatic. But how would I ever come to talk to you? Maybe I'd hang out at the lunch concession. Instead, I just watched you from afar.
I mean. After all. You all seemed to get along so well. There wasn't really any space in there for someone like me.
When I was a kid, I had to have an operation and I started having to be at the hospital for regular check-ups. In the first year of middle school, I collapsed and I was admitted over and over. With every visit, I was there for longer and longer. Really, I didn't get to class much in middle school, I spent more time at the hospital. And I knew something was wrong with my body.

One night, I saw my parents crying in the waiting room and I knew that my time was running out.

That's when I ran away.
I didn't want to bring my regrets with me to heaven, so I stopped holding back from what the things I always wanted to do.
I wasn't scared anymore to get contact lenses.
I ate what I wanted instead of always worrying about my weight.
And I took the music with all its high and mighty directives and played it the way I wanted.

And then I told a lie. Just one.
I lied and said that I, Miyazono Kaori, liked Watari Ryouta.

And that lie brought you to me.

Please apologize to Watari for me… though I'm sure he's forgotten me by now
I think I need someone more wholehearted and earnest than him.
I think we'd be fine as friends though.

And please apologize to Tsubaki for me too.
I want for there to be no hard feelings. And there was one thing I could never ask of her, to ask her directly to introduce the two of us.
I don't think she would've had an answer for me.
After all, she was in love with you.
We all knew that.
I think the only people who didn't know were you and her.
That underhanded lie brought me to you didn't work out the way I had imagined.

It was darker.
And meaner.
And denser.
And more stubborn.
And more perverted.

And softer.
And more masculine.
And sweet.
Remember that bridge we jumped off? The water was so cool and refreshing.
Racing each other alongside the train. I really thought I could win.
The moon was saw from the music room that night, like a delicious-looking bun.
Singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star with you as we rode on that bike together. Then falling out time. We're awful singers.
At the school at night. I'm still sure there was something there.
The falling snow, just like cherry blossoms.

It's strange to be a musician, but then to have your heart so filled by something that comes from off-stage
They're unforgettable scenes to me. But they're such little things. It's weird, isn't it?

What do you think?
Do you think I made it into anyone's heart like that?
I wonder if I made it into yours.
I wonder if you'll still remember me.

If you forget me, I'll just come back and..
No, I don't want to start over.
Please don't forget me.
Promise me you won't forget me.

I'm glad it was you.

I hope this reaches you, Arima Kousei.

I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I'm sorry we couldn't eat all those canelés.
I'm sorry I hit you so much.
I'm sorry I was so selfish.

I'm so, so, so, so sorry.

Thank you for everything.

Miyazono Kaori

After the death of Kaori, and after reading the letter she had left for him, Kousei felt as though his heart had been torn apart, half mended, and then torn apart again.
Torn apart first, after her death. Half mended, when he knew that he had held a special place in her heart, enough that she had left him a letter. That she had returned his feelings, without him knowing. That he still had a piece of her, in a way, through this letter she had gifted him with. And then torn apart again, when the sad realization that they could never be together again hit him hard in the face.

She had given his life purpose again. She had filled up his monotone life with colour. Colours that he never thought he would be able to see again - rosy pink and gold and everything in between.

And then she just up and left them. Left him.

Of course she made it into someone's heart - his own. She hit him hard with her music, hit him in ways he did not think possible. She had helped him remember that special, special feeling of love. Helped him realize that it was still possible to love, even while on the bottom of a dark sea.

Silly girl.
As if he could even begin to forget her. As if forgetting her was even a choice. He was sure that even if one single memory started slipping away from him, her ghost would come back and force the memory upon him again as forcefully as a brick would hit him. As if he had to promise not to forget her, when forgetting wasn't even a choice for him.

While reading the letter, Kousei's feet had taken him on a little walk. Looking around, he quickly realizes he is in a park, near Towa Hall. Confused as to why his feet had let him here, he looks around and immediately recognizes the dome sitting there.

This is the place where he had first set eyes on Kaori. Kousei's feet had taken him on a memory walk, leading him through places and memories he had formed with that special girl.

He is hit with all the memories he had made with her. The first time he had set eyes on her, she had given him a beautiful impression - that is, until she took notice of Kousei. Then things went quickly downhill, until Tsubaki and Watari had come to his rescue.

Standing up on the dome, playing the melodica. Wearing a light pink short dress, she had seemed like someone from a fantasy; like she almost didn't belong to this world. The tears in her eyes - they disappeared so quickly when she saw him, he wasn't sure if he had imagined those tears. She got along so well with the children; the music they played together was so unique, and it had touched him deeply how they seemed to be having fun while playing the music, how they seemed to play for no other reason than to play for the pure enjoyment of making music.
When the pigeons had come, they had all looked so joyful - truly, sincerely happy. Kousei had never really thought that music could bring such feelings. But Kaori had given his music new feelings.

Things had gone bad when Kaori had noticed Kousei taking a photo of them, and the beautiful impression she had first given him quickly evaporated as she started beating him with the instruments.
And yet, even as she was hitting him with the various musical instruments, he still couldn't help but be in awe of this girl. So bright, fiery, colourful - everything he was not. Little did he expect this to be the girl that had wanted to meet his best friend Watari. This was the girl that liked his best friend, Watari.

But that was a lie, wasn't it? Kousei smiled a bit. It had been a lie she had told to bring herself closer to Kousei. And in a way, he was glad she had told this lie. It was just like she said - he doubted Tsubaki would have introduced Kaori to himself if she had outright asked to meet him. But bringing herself closer to Kousei, through Watari - well, that plan had worked like a dime.
Even if he wasn't anything like she had expected. Even if he was so much more different than her fantasy of him.

He had loved her too.
Never thinking he would have a chance against Watari.
Never expecting her to return those feelings.
Never suspecting that she had told a lie.

Looking up at the sky, he realized it had already turned to nighttime.

The sky was coated in a blanket of stars. Twinkling stars.

Twinkle, twinkle little star...

The stars seemed to be winking at him. Reminding him that Kaori was somewhere up there. Reminding him of the times he had spent with her.

Kaori may not be with him right now, but she will always have a place in his heart.

Thanks for reading this far! Invisible cookies for everyone! Just so you guys know, I'm a really slow updater. But I won't drop a story unless I specifically say so, kay? I had some people tell me this is fine as a oneshot, but I'll leave that up to you readers! Should I, or should I not, continue this? I have some more ideas, but they can be made into separate stories, if you guys think this is okay as a oneshot. Review with your opinion! Whoop, thanks again guys!