Author's Note; I thought this up while watching Naruto, the episodes with the Curry of Life in them and Neji's intolerance towards spicy food and alcohol. I was wanting to make a funny for once and this is it! A one shot that won't be continued. Hope everyone finds this as funny as I did as I wrote it :) Oh, and about the SasuNaru situation along with the timeline for this story. This is after the war and Sasuke's imprisoned for a while until someone -Naruto- is able to make him snap out of it. Lol.
Neji knew he never should have agreed to go out with his friends Naruto, Sakura, Kiba, Hinata and Lee. God forbid he have any actual fun on his short vacations.
But damn that Naruto, he said they'd just go to a place that served pretty damn good food in a small town about a days travel away from the village.
Little did that blonde moron let slip his mind, was that the town had a festival and that said restaurant was in the middle of the damn red light district.
No, he should have never trusted Naruto with this five-day vacation.
"C-Come on Neji … live a l-little." Naruto slurred into Neji's ear which was easy since the blonde sat next to the long haired raven.
"I don't need alcohol to 'live a little', Naruto." Neji groused for the tenth time in the last half hour when the blonde decided to order alcohol for everyone but Lee, Hinata and himself.
"At least try it you loser." Naruto sneered, but with a grin once he saw that a spark ignited in Neji's eyes. It was a spark he recognized well since Sasuke always had it too when challenged by him. "Just one sip is all, and it might just get rid of the pole in your ass too."
"Don't insult me by comparing me to that asshole Sasuke." Neji hissed, annoyance clearly visible in his features, but Naruto ignored it.
"If Neji doesn't want to drink, then he doesn't have to Naruto." Lee noted, an arm around Sakura's shoulders to keep her straight or else she'd fall face first into a plate of fried fish that sat in front of her.
"H-He's r-right Naruto-kun." Hinata agreed softly, Kiba snoring softly with his head resting on her shoulder. Having passed out just a few moments before this conversation started with the combination of lack of sleep from Akamaru keeping him up for hours on end and the alcohol in his system.
"No, I can read him, and he wants one, but he's holding back for some reason." Naruto stated, all sign of being drunk vanished as he sat up. Pouring Neji and himself a cup of sake.
"I'm not hiding anything." Neji nearly yelled.
"Then prove it." Naruto smirked. "Now, we're going to play a game … the last person to drink has to deal with Sasuke during guard duty for a month. Alone, No back up whatsoever."
"Are you nuts? No one would want to be in the same room as him let alone for a minute." Neji hissed. "And there's no way Tsunade would approve of that."
"You're forgetting who I am, Neji." Naruto continued to smirk. "Now, if you don't take this challenge, I'll spread across the ANBU ranks that the Neji Hyuuga is a coward when faced with alcohol."
"You do that and I'll spread around the whole village that you're Uchiha's cum slut." Neji sneered angrily through clenched teeth.
"That is going too far Neji!" Lee bellowed in astonishment at his friends' harsh words.
"They'll never believe you. " Naruto laughed loudly. "Just drink one shot is all I ask for you jerk."
"Fine!" Neji yelled, finally fed up with Naruto's childish taunting. Reaching over and picked up the sake cup before Naruto could process what was going on because he was too shocked from Neji's outburst.
But the entire table was silent as Neji took the cup to his lips and poured the burning liquid down his throat. Coughing slightly as it went down but sent a glare Naruto's way anyway.
"There! Are you happy n-" Neji started with a hiss, until his vision became blurry and the next thing he knew, his world tipped over as his head collided with the table and he blacked out.
"Holy shit!" Naruto roared with laughter as he finished his drink. God, he didn't think Neji was such a light weight but this, this was just beyond hilarious.
"Naruto, I wouldn't be laughing right now. You lost to your own game. Now you have to guard Sasuke, alone for a month." Lee reminded him, making Naruto's laughter cease immediately as the blonde paled a few shades.
"Fucking hell." Naruto cursed under his breath in a small pout. But he'd have to have a serious word with the asshole later. Nah, he'll keep Neji guessing what happens between Sasuke and him. It's hilarious watching the long haired raven running around trying his damnest to get evidence of protocol being broken.