I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house,

That don't bother me,

Daniel Jackson stared up at the ceiling of the guest bedroom in the home of Colonel Jack O'Neill, rain was pounding down on the roof but Daniel didn't notice it. All he could think of was Sha're, her dark eyes and wild brown locks, her scent of spice and pine dust, her voice as she fumbled with English and her delight when she finally learnt how to spell her name without help. Sha're, Sha're, Sha're.

I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out,

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while,

Even though going on with you gone still upset's me,

There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay,

But that's not what gets me,

He saved his tears for the privacy of his apartment, his empty apartment that wasn't, couldn't be home without Sha're. At work he put on a facade, it wasn't difficult, he'd done it for years after all, never quite feeling happy and content after his parents' deaths, until he'd joined the SGC and gone to Abydos, gone and met Sha're. And one too short year later, he was once again hiding under a mask of a workaholic, hiding how difficult it was to be on the same team as Teal'c, to trust Teal'c, Teal'c who'd taken her from him. But never did he let anyone realize how hard it was, never.

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

The hardest thing was that he never told her, never said that she was the one who kept him from giving up, never said I love you to her over and over. He hadn't been able to get past his fear of losing the only person to love him since he was eight and a coverstone crushed his parents to death in front of him, and then he'd lost her anyway.

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

Seeing Kasuf and the other Abydonians had hurt like hell, knowing he'd failed them, failed Sha're by not bringing her home to her father and clan, but that had been a pinprick to a knife wound when he'd seen her pregnant with Apophis' child, the child that should've been theirs, only to lose her and the baby when she delivered and Heru'ur attacked. And he'd once again lost his chance to tell her how much he loved and needed her.

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say (to say)
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do

The last time he lost her he held her in his arms as she succumbed to the staff wound Teal'c had fired to save his life. And as the tears fell from his eyes onto her still cheeks and Jack, Sam and Teal'c tried to convince him to let her go, he silently pressed his lips to her forehead, and swore to save her son, at least, he thought, if he couldn't save Sha're he could save the baby she'd loved so much. The child that should've been theirs.