STUPID THOUGHTS.
'James' she breathed in his ear as his hands made their way slowly but surely up her leg and under her skirt and his lips biting and kissing her neck gently. She noted that he was treating her like she was the most precious thing in the world. Her thoughts swayed as his hands went alarmingly high up her skirt, she pulled away from his breathtaking kiss and put her hand over his, which had frozen.
'Not yet please," she said observing the expression on his face. He nodded slightly and moving his hands from her thigh and breast. He then leaned down again and kissed her lips never breaking eye contact and then lowered himself next to her on the bed. He looked at her and she looked back trying to read his mind, even through the darkness she could tell he was studying her intensely.
"Are you angry?" she asked her voice barely a whisper
"Yes"
"Do you hate me?" she asked her voice low and shaky
"Of course not, why would I?"
"You're angry at me,"
He smiled grimly and said, "Not at you, at myself,"
"Why"
"For not controlling myself better" he said
"Don't be angry at yourself," she whispered bringing her hand to his face.
Her fingers trailed his cheekbone along the soft skin, his hand took hers and he brought it to his lips kissing it gently. She placed a kiss on his lips, he didn't respond at all, she ran her hands through his hair kissing his lips softly, he didn't move. She pulled away and looked at him, then breathed in his ear, "James, please kiss me… please?" she lingered there and she felt his lips brush upon her own but he pulled away quickly.
He could tell she was hurt by the look on her face. She moved away from him, "Fine. Goodnight." She said turning over letting the tears flow freely, she could not however hide the slight shaking.
"Lily?" she heard him ask after a minute, "are you crying?"
"N-no" she said her breathing shallow.
"Oh Lil," he breathed pulling her into his arms and holding her tightly, she just shook the tears flowing through closed eyes. He kissed her lips gently and kept kissing her face whispering, "I love you" and "I'm sorry" every few seconds. Her shaking stopped and she stemmed her tears but her eyes didn't open as he had hoped they would.
"Please open your eyes," he muttered still kissing her, she obeyed, her eyes were slightly bloodshot but to him she was as perfect as ever. "I love you Lily," he whispered looking in her eyes.
She nodded curtly and looked away, his heart ached for her tears and it worsened with the knowing that he was the cause. He knew she had loved him before but now he wasn't sure, she didn't reassure him like she usually would with a smile not that he felt like he deserved it.
He hugged her tightly burying his face in her hair and closing his eyes tightly to keep away the tears threatening to fall, a few leaked out despite his efforts.
She didn't know how long they lay there holding each other but she calmed herself and turned to face him, she noticed with a pang of guilt that his eyes were slightly red, she hated to think she had made him cry, it took a lot to make James cry.
His eyes locked onto hers and she hesitantly brought one hand to his cheek gently caressing it, his eyes closed and he leant into the touch, she didn't dare do anything else.
His eyes opened and he placed a kiss on her forehead and pulled her closer. She heard him mutter, "I love you so much,"
She smiled and whispered, "I love you more,"
With that she drifted of to sleep completely at ease, he stayed awake for a few minutes more, content to watch his angel sleep.