Huck's Advice Column
This column guarantees that all of its advice is good advice, and that this its advice the honest-to-good truth.
Dead Cats- If you've got a dead cat lyin' round, you can put it to good use. If you've got warts, you can take it to a graveyard 'long about midnight when someone wicked has been buried; and when it's midnight a devil will come, or maybe two or three, but you can't see 'em, you can only hear something like the wind, or maybe hear 'em talk; and when they're taking that feller away, you heave your cat after 'em and say, "Devil follow corpse, cat follow devil, warts follow cat, I'm done with ye!" That'll fetch ANY wart. Basically, it gets rid of your warts. Note: Cats are also good for discovering hidden information.
Witches- If you have something, and it disappears, you know it was 'cause of thems witches. They also will give you bad luck when you're trying to find treasure, so watch out. Don't ask me why, 'cause I don't mess with greater powers then myself.
Howling Stray Dogs- If you see a howling stray dog, and its a-lookin' at you, know that you will die soon.
Dead Bodies- If a murdered body bleeds after that person has left the world, know that the killer is near. It's very useful for finding thems murderers.
Worms- If one of them worms shows up and crawls across your body, it means that you're gonna get new, fancy clothes.
Spunk Water- Don't believe no one who tells you it removes warts. IT DOESN'T WORK!
Friday- It's just a plain unlucky day. DO NOT ATTEMPT ANY ADVENTURES!
Huckleberry Finn